A Change of Heart

(A LEP/SS story)

By Silvain Star

Rating- PG-13, to be safe

Warnings- possible DH Spoilers, AU plot, character death, possible OOCness, swearing

Summary- What if Voldemort had been feeling a tad merciful, and gave James an offer to join him, so that Harry- instead of being killed- could be kept under close watch, made sure he would serve Voldemort instead of being a threat to him- but Lily wasn‘t included in the offer of protection? And what if Severus hadn’t joined the Death Eaters, instead trying to fix his friendship with Lily? James sacrifices himself- for Lily, and for the principles he’s always stood for, Voldemort’s attempt to kill Lily backfires, and Lily turns to her best friend, Severus, for comfort.

Prologue

Choose Your Destiny, Potter

“Join me, Potter, and you and the boy will be spared,� Lord Voldemort offered confidently. This plan was fail-proof. Keeping the boy close would ensure his influence, meaning the child wouldn’t be a threat at all. Of course, he’d overlooked one thing- the brat’s Mudblood mother, who he hadn’t intended to spare, and who James would die for in an instant.

“You’re a fool if you think I’ll join you, Voldemort,� James replied bravely. “I’d rather die, than serve you. And no protection is worth losing Lily- you wouldn’t spare her for any reason, would you?� James already knew the answer, he knew they were going to die… “Just kill me and be done with it, then. I’m not taking your offer.�

“Fool,� Voldemort muttered, glaring. “Avada Kedavra!� He sneered, stepping over James’ body toward Lily and their son. “Time to die, Mudblood bitch. Avada Kedavra!�

He hadn’t expected the curse to rebound on him. He hadn’t expected to be reduced to a spirit-like state and forced to flee to a distant country. He had thought his plan was flawless. He couldn’t have been more wrong.

After the curse rebounded, Lily watched in shock as Voldemort, spirit-like, fled. She continued, in fact, to stand there, staring in shock, for several moments afterward, until Harry’s crying snapped her out of it. The rebounding curse had caused a small blast, just large enough to destroy their house, so she lifted him out of his crib and, clutching him to her, Apparated to the safest place she knew- the home of Severus Snape.

“Lily? What happened?�

A Change of Heart

(A LEP/SS story)

By Silvain Star

Rating- PG-13, to be safe

Warnings- possible DH Spoilers, AU plot, character death, possible OOCness, swearing

Summary- What if Voldemort had been feeling a tad merciful, and gave James an offer to join him, so that Harry- instead of being killed- could be kept under close watch, made sure he would serve Voldemort instead of being a threat to him- but Lily wasn‘t included in the offer of protection? And what if Severus hadn’t joined the Death Eaters, instead trying to fix his friendship with Lily? James sacrifices himself- for Lily, and for the principles he’s always stood for, Voldemort’s attempt to kill Lily backfires, and Lily turns to her best friend, Severus, for comfort.

Chapter 1

Dead and Alive

“Lily? What happened?�

Severus Snape was used to many things, ranging from urgent owls at two in the morning about whatever thing was bothering Lily at that time, to being called to help Black babysit (because Lily wasn’t sure he was responsible enough to watch Harry) with little to no warning. But he was not, by any means, used to his best friend Apparating into his home, looking like she’d just been in a battle, with a screaming baby in her arms, at nearly ten at night, when he’d been intending to go to bed soon.

“James is dead,� Lily replied simply, sounding like she was in shock. “He found us, he killed James… He tried to kill me, but it backfired… The house is destroyed, James is dead, and…..� At this point, she burst into tears, falling to her knees and sobbing, still clutching Harry to her like a lifeline. “Oh, Sev, I don’t know what to do!�

Severus knelt down beside her, placing his hand on her shoulder, trying to comfort her. She suddenly took one arm from around Harry and threw it around Severus, clinging to him and sobbing into his robes.

“Lily,� he said quietly, trying to get her to relax so he could speak to her. “Lily, listen to me. You’re going to have to go to Dumbledore. He needs to know what happened.� Lily kept sobbing, but she nodded, letting him know she was listening. “I’ll go with you, just hold on to Harry.� He helped her up, leading her to the fireplace and taking out some Floo powder. He threw it into the fire, stepping in with her right beside him- it was cramped, but it was the best way. “Hogwarts, headmaster’s office!�

---------------------

Dumbledore was in his office, speaking with the portrait of one of the previous headmasters and eating lemon drops, when two people stepped out of his fireplace, one of them holding an infant. He turned to look at Severus Snape, Lily Evans Potter, and one year old Harry James Potter, who was still wailing like a banshee- nothing seemed to calm him, though nothing, actually, had been tried quite yet. He twisted in Lily’s arms, beginning to calm, and his eyes fell on the headmaster, and he calmed down almost completely.

“Lily, Severus. What brings you here tonight?� Dumbledore asked calmly.

“James Potter was just murdered by Lord Voldemort. From what Lily told me, he tried to kill her as well, but failed. The rebounding curse destroyed their house,� Severus said, leading Lily, who was still crying, though less so than before, to a chair. “We are here because Lily came to me, in absolute shock, and began sobbing in my sitting room, saying she had no idea what to do. I, obviously, realized you would know what exactly this all means, and that you would be able to help.�

“I see, Severus,� Dumbledore said, a touch of sadness in his voice. “Lily, I will not rush you, but I need to hear exactly what happened tonight. When you think you’re ready to explain, please do.�

Lily nodded, biting her lip as she took a moment to calm herself enough to speak. Once she’d found her voice, she began to explain, in a forced calm monotone, rubbing her son’s back as she spoke. When she’d finished her explanation, Dumbledore frowned, thinking.

“It seems, Lily, that the fact that James was given the choice to join Voldemort resulted in his death bestowing upon both you and your son an incredible protection. Because he died for the two of you, Voldemort couldn’t have killed either of you. This is why the curse rebounded. This, though, does present an interesting dilemma, as this isn’t quite what anyone could expect…� Dumbledore sighed. “I’ll have to look into what this will mean… But for now, I would say, it means we will have a long reprieve from the threat of Lord Voldemort, until he can restore himself to power- which I am quite sure he will try to do.� Dumbledore smiled sadly. “As for what should be done- keep going. James did not die for you to fall into despair. Raise Harry to understand his father’s sacrifice. Mourn for your loss, but move on- there is still life to be lived. And I hope you intend to help with the bit of rebuilding the wizarding world will need- especially if we are to be prepared to stop Voldemort when he tries to return to power.�

“Of course,� Lily said, more bravely than she felt. “I’ll do whatever I can.�

A Change of Heart

(A LEP/SS story)

By Silvain Star

Rating- PG-13, to be safe

Warnings- possible DH Spoilers, AU plot, character death, possible OOCness, swearing

Summary- What if Voldemort had been feeling a tad merciful, and gave James an offer to join him, so that Harry- instead of being killed- could be kept under close watch, made sure he would serve Voldemort instead of being a threat to him- but Lily wasn‘t included in the offer of protection? And what if Severus hadn’t joined the Death Eaters, instead trying to fix his friendship with Lily? James sacrifices himself- for Lily, and for the principles he’s always stood for, Voldemort’s attempt to kill Lily backfires, and Lily turns to her best friend, Severus, for comfort.

Chapter 2

Reckless, As Always

Severus and Lily left the headmaster’s office, both deep in thought. They’d decided they both needed a walk before going anywhere, so they headed towards the grounds in silence, until Harry decided a change of pace was in order- and announced this by babbling and reaching out to Severus. Both adults looked up at each other in slight shock and stopped walking a short ways from the main entrance, since both had subconsciously assumed Harry would’ve fallen asleep by now. After a moment, Lily laughed a little.

“Looks like he wants you to carry him for a bit, Sev,� she said with a slight smile- little things like this were enough to get a smile for a moment, even when she was trying very, very hard not to cry. Severus looked at her with something like fear in his eyes- most wouldn’t see it, but she could read him better than anyone, save perhaps Dumbledore. She smiled reassuringly as she held Harry out towards him. “Okay, I’ve told you how to hold him before, Severus- don’t act like you don’t know what you’re doing, for crying out loud….. You babysit the boy, don’t pretend you know nothing about how to hold a one-year-old, for Merlin’s sake.�

“Lily, I do not *babysit* him, I make sure Black doesn’t drop him down the stairs, or mentally corrupt him, or take him on that motorcycle of his. There’s a difference, considering I’ve only had to hold him when Black becomes a hazard to the brat…� Severus objected. “And at that point, how I hold him doesn’t matter, as long as he’s safe from the antics of that….� Severus sneered, “that madman… How you‘ve ever put up with him is beyond me… I only deal with him when I absolutely have to.�

“Look, just…. Let him sit on your hip, one arm around him, and make sure he doesn’t slide off,� Lily explained. Severus grumbled a little, but did as she said, and they started walking again, both retreating back into their own thoughts. After a while, they stopped walking, right by the edge of the lake. They stood there for awhile, in silence, as they thought out what they would do next.

Severus sighed, sounding a bit unsure of what to do next. “Where to, Lily? What do you want to do now?� he wondered, still sounding uncharacteristically worried. Lily turned to him, a firm determination replacing the sadness in her eyes.

“Move on, like Dumbledore said. First things first, we go get James’ body. He needs a proper burial. Then… I’ll need to find somewhere to stay, and probably buy a new wand, unless we can find mine, and it wasn’t destroyed along with everything else. From there, I’ll just… take life one day at a time, you know? Until I can get a proper… I dunno, bearing, a…. hold in the world? I can’t explain it, I just know I feel like I’m drifting at sea or something, I just feel really lost… Once I can get past that lost feeling, basically…� Lily shook her head, sighing. “I’m just rambling, aren’t I? I’m not entirely sure what I mean, myself…� she mumbled.

“His body. Okay, good place to start from…. As for someplace to stay…. I have an extra room, if you’d like it,� Severus offered. Lily smiled warmly at him, a real, proper smile, with barely any hint of the sadness her face had shown since she Apparated into his house.

“Maybe… Thank you for the offer, either way…� she said. “Anyway… Let’s go back to the house, we can walk out to Hogsmeade and Apparate from there. I don’t want James’ body lying there any longer than necessary….�

Severus nodded, frowning slightly as he looked down at Harry. “Perhaps you should take him when we Apparate? I’m sure you’d kill me if something happened because didn’t keep my grip, and you Apparated with him when you were in no state to be Apparating to begin with…� he trailed off, looking at Lily almost hopefully. She nodded, smiling.

“You don’t have to be so nervous about holding him, Sev,� she said, “but yes, I think it would be best if I take him when we Apparate.�

They walked in silence from then on, until they reached Hogsmeade a little while later. Severus handed Harry back to Lily, and she held tightly to her son as they Apparated to the ruined house in Godric’s Hollow. The first thing they noticed was someone shouting, calling out for Lily and Harry frantically- the voice sounded like a man’s, and he seemed to be crying at the same time.

“Sirius…� Lily murmured in recognition. “What’s he doing here, he wasn’t intending to visit today…?�

“Lily! Harry! Oh, Merlin, don’t be dead, oh, hell….� Sirius called, half-sobbing. He spotted two people standing near the edge of the wreckage of the house, in what had once been the kitchen. He walked nervously towards them, afraid to guess at who it was. He was just about to ask who they were when he got a glimse of one of them- it was Lily, and she had Harry with her! “Lily! Oh, thank merlin, you’re alive, you’re both alive and alright, and shit, but James….. Dead……� Sirius said all of this in one breath, rushing to her and gently pulling Harry from her arms, holding the boy close. He handed the child back after a moment, then sank to the ground, looking like he’d start sobbing if he didn’t try to take a moment to think- though thinking probably wouldn’t help much either.

“Black,� Severus began, looking down at the man with annoyance, “why are you here?�

“I went to check on Peter. He was gone, I think he was the spy…. I think he told Voldemort where you were. I came here as fast as I could, but the place… it was already like this, I’m guessing he got here first….� Sirius said calmly, almost numbly even. “I thought… he’d killed all of you, or that he’d taken Harry, or…. I don’t even want to think about it……� He sat in silence for a few moments before a hard, angry look came over his face. “I’m going to fucking kill Peter, the dirty rat. I can’t believe he’d do this. I’m going to track him down and fucking kill him.�

Lily put her hand on Sirius’ shouder, kneeling down in front of him. “No, Sirius. You can’t.�

“She’s right, Black,� Severus added. “You can’t do the recklessly, stupidly brave thing this time, it’ll send you straight to Azkaban. Your godson still needs you too much for you to do something so moronic right now.�

“But it’s his fault James is dead,� Sirius argued, glaring at Severus. Lily shook her head as she stood back up and backed away- she didn’t feel like trying to stop them right now, so she sat Harry in his crib- which was amazingly still intact enough to keep him there- and went off in search of James’ body.

“Black…. You can’t be reckless right now.�

Sirius started to try to stand up, but Severus was too quick for him- he’d drawn his wand and summoned ropes to tie him down before Sirius could even get to his knees. Severus sighed and put his wand away. “Reckless, as always, aren’t you?� he murmured, walking towards Sirius. “Let me put this as plainly as I possibly can. Harry needs you. He needs someone with a high enough opinion of James to tell him why his father died, and you can do that better than anyone. He needs someone who will teach him things Lily won’t approve of, things I personally think he shouldn’t know or do, but that his father would have taught him- pranks, Quidditch, asinine things the lot of you tended to do. You are the best one to do this. You cannot do these things from a cell in Azkaban, and revenge will do no good right now. I may not like you, but I realize the boy needs you- you need to realize it too, Black, because I’m not untying you until you swear you won’t go after Pettigrew.�

“Fine…. You’re right, Harry needs me… I won’t go after him, I swear,� Sirius sighed wearily.

“Good.� Severus got rid of the ropes with a flick of his wand, and began to walk over to Lily as Sirius stood up. “We need to move some of the wreckage, if we’re going to find his body,� he said to Lily, who was looking around where she’d last seen James.

“Over here, actually. I moved him so he wasn’t covered in debris and shit…� Sirius said, leading them into the next room.