03-29-2007, 12:07 AM
This is a personal poem. It’s also short. Spelling and grammar should be analyzed before you are ready to submit it. This is a part of your life, and keeping criticism to a minimum, because this is a personal piece, and a criticism to the piece is a criticism to you. That being said, you should change the following parts:
What I should
I should have acted a lot better. There shouldn't have been an excuse.
together
earth, I Guess I
All I can
Also. You had two sentences together, with no punctuation in line 3. I don't really have a reference of what rhythm you attempted, and because this is a short piece, I can't figure it out enough to know how you wanted to separate it, so I suggested a hyphen. Spaces, breaks, and punctuation all affect how your poem is read. When you're tweaking this piece keep that in mind.
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