Hiding
An RP by NekoLen and Tachigami

The little village was on the west side near Niigata's mainland. It had an old-world charm, with people that valued the earth and the ocean and made a living in their fishing boats and under the soil. They may have lived far off from the nearest city but traveled quickly and efficiently, sending their perishables to the eager shops, supermarkets and whoever might buy directly from the fishermen or farmers. Vincent didn't belong in Japan, or anywhere near it. He was a native of Australia and still had his accent, but could speak, read, and write fluent Japanese, so he was never lost, physically. He'd come after fleeing his city, getting away from his disorderly and dysfunctional family and hoping to find work in Niigata. He'd struggled for a while, but the place was massive, and he'd eventually fallen in with a very prominent family. The Akima family. He lived on their property the way the other servants did, in their own quarters off the main house. He'd been with them for six months now, and knew the names of the others. Two maids, Saya and Kimiko. A cook, Michi. Two gardeners, both American, Jacob and Gavin. A personal butler, Taichi. And of course, himself. Vincent.

Vincent knew he was the only one that was trusted with such a secretive and massive responsibility. Now his only job, having come in originally scrubbing dishes for Michi and splitting room servicing duties with Taichi, was to deliver a weekly allowance and package to the Akima's distant son, who he knew as Rei. Why Rei was so far away, in quiet little fishing village surrounded by trees and seemingly cut off from most of the modern world, was beyond him. He never questioned his employers, however, glad to have a job, a free place to sleep each night, and real food instead of something boxed or dried and rehydrated. It had taken a little while to get used to the difference in currency after the move and to quit overpaying for things on his own, but Vincent had gotten the hang of it quickly. Now he was nearing the village with his usual weekly delivery, a small package sitting in the seat to his left. Pulling his dark vehicle to a stop just outside the first of the buildings, Vincent shut the engine down and gathered the package and his messenger bag, slinging it over his shoulder and grasping the package in one hand to close the door. It was simple, tied with nondescript brown paper and cinched with twine. There was no return address, no destined address, not even a name. No tag, no mark at all. One could have imagined the thing fell right out of the sky.

Vincent pushed back his black hair, squinting as he repositioned his glasses. The village never really changed. Things that were old got a new coat of paint, or was knocked down to be rebuilt. Old foundations were ripped up and replaced when they started to crumble and when metal rusted it was replaced as well. The roads were kept clean and he could hear kids playing or learning in open, grassy areas or along the beach. He loved the little place, but had to return to the Akima estate by tomorrow evening. And it would take most of the day to drive back. He smiled and said his hellos to those that recognized him, spying his bright blueish eyes almost at once. They were magnified by his glasses, which were akin to telescope lenses because his eyes were so awful. He often joked about it, but was secretly saving money for surgery so he could, at the very least, get some contacts or lighter glasses.

The small two-roomed hut that sat near a secluded bay just on the outskirts of the village looked abandoned. Many ghost stories circulated among the people, and no one went near it in case they were cursed by the evil demons that were supposed to haunt it. Among many myths told about the bay, one was of a dark shadow with the face of a kitsune. It was said to appear on dark, moonless nights on the beach, as if searching for something. The legend went that it was a demon hunting for a face, and if it were to catch you, it would steal your face from your body.

These legends had been spread like wildfire, though no one was sure where it had started or if these ghosts were even real. It meant that Rei had hardly any visitors, outside of the delivery man his parents sent to keep him alive. If it wasn't for the foreigner, Rei would have rotten away long ago. He sat at his sofa, watching the waves roll over the white sand through the window and eye holes of the painted kitsune mask he wore. Every other window had been boarded up and any mirrors had been removed before he had moved into the place. He was so ashamed and drowning in sorrow, that he never took the mask off.

He sighed and glanced at the small clock that sat on his wall. Why did he care if the delivery man had come or not? They barely spoke, Rei usually remained quiet as he was given his packages of food and money, and gave the delivery man lists of anything he might have needed. The man spoke with an accent, his Japanese almost perfect as he greeted Rei. But no conversations were held between the two men. His parents wouldn't want Rei to feel like he had a friend in anyone. Banishment was not supposed to be an enjoyable experience. He fiddled with his silky black hair, which was in need of a trim. Usually he did it himself, so the style was probably lopsided. He didn't know for sure though, as he never looked at his reflection.

True, he could have walked around the village, but he liked to talk to the locals. Sometimes he would even use his wages to buy something from the open air stalls and hold little conversations with the mothers or the children that swarmed around his feet, speaking of their studies or stories or local legends. He knew the most prominent legend was just superstition, though, and it centered around Rei, whom no one saw outside his home, and only at night. Obviously he came out of his home only at night and walked the beach, perhaps that was his only contact with the outside world. He probably didn't even look toward the others in the village. He approached the house---which could barely be called a house---and knocked lightly on the door.

Vincent actually looked forward to these visits. The young man was a near stranger despite having been visited by Vincent every week for the past few months, but nonetheless, the displaced Australian was so curious he could scream sometimes. Why was he here? Why was this a 'banishment'? Had he done something awful? The quick, quiet conversations they had were rarely much more than a 'hi, bye' scenario, but every time he came to this little secluded house, he wanted to know so badly. He wanted to say something. Something, anything, to put off that 'bye' a little longer and figure out what was even going on. His parents absolutely refused to even speak Rei's name, using only the term 'the distant son'. Why? What horrible thing happened? And when he would open the door, he would see nothing on the walls. No reflective surface.

When the door opened, Vincent was almost startled. He'd been lost in his own mind for a while there, and didn't even remember knocking. Or holding the package. As usual, the cool, expressionless kitsune mask greeted him in place of a human face, and Vincent offered his usual smile and bow of the head. "Hi, Rei." He said easily in the usual Japanese. "Here's your, ah... your usual." He shifted from one foot to the other while holding the item out.

The knock that came at his door always startled him, even when he had been anticipating it. He swept to the door, the long black robes he wore moving like a shadow as he opened it cautiously. As usual, the delivery man seemed polite, but Rei noticed the awe in the man's expression. He could sense the desperation to interrogate Rei, to find out who and what he was. He wished he could talk to the man, but something always held him back. He was afraid of being laughed at, ridiculed for the stupid decisions that had caused him to be banished in the first place.

He bowed his head and took the nondescript bag, his hand gloved so his filth didn't contaminate the delivery man, who always addressed him like a friend despite his standing. Rei liked it and he smiled behind the mask. "Thank you, I have some things I'd like for you to pick up." He pulled out a note from within his robe, as well as a few thousand yen. "You can keep the change." He bowed again and closed the door, not in a rude way. He went over to his table with the bag, opening it carefully to find some simple food items and some money. No razor blades, drinks or letters from home. He should be thankful to at least receive money from his parents, but he did miss his family. His mother and father, two younger sisters and an older brother that had married recently. He missed them all so much and he wondered if they ever thought about him.

Something wet and hot rolled down his cheek and he started. It had been awhile since he had last cried.

Since his only job was to come here to help this young man, deliver a simple package, Vincent was always left with a very empty feeling when that job was done. Like he didn't do enough. Like there was something huge missing and he knew what it was, but just couldn't pull that memory out of hiding. And when the door opened, he did what he could to take that faraway look off his face so he could focus more on what he was supposed to do. He was just so glad, this time, to have something else to do for Rei that he just nodded and stood outside the closed door with his hands full of paper yet to be sorted and stared at the rough surface. It wasn't kept up like the rest of the lovely little buildings. Some of its windows were even boarded up. Stuffing the money in his pocket, he glanced over the neatly written list and nodded. Just the basics. Toiletries, mostly, and a paper and bottle of sake. He could handle that easily. And he had his messenger bag to hold all the items. Stepping down and away from the door, he headed back into the village main and stepped into a small building. It was a small general store, and sold quite a few diverse things. A pack of razors immediately by the door, then he went around to gather the rest. It took just one pass through the bulk of the area, and when he came to the front again, he indicated the day's new edition. They got it all the way out here, even.

Tucking the paper under his arm, he stepped out and stopped at the small stall outside the door, eyes glancing over the different-toned bottles on the shelves behind the young merchant. He chose a brew specific to the village itself and the family that brewed it, Kozuki, and slid it into his bag, stepping away to count what he had left. Not much, but he didn't need it. Maybe he would buy a loaf of bread or something sweet before heading back to his quarters in the estate. Maybe he'd fill his time by helping Taichi or Michi, or Saya. He could do with getting a little color back into his skin, though, so he might be able to help Jacob in the garden.

Pausing outside the hut, Vincent paused and sighed. When would he bite the bullet? It was taking too long, and he would eventually blurt out something stupid if he didn't at least ask something. What did the mask represent, maybe? Or why he chose such a far-off place... Or why he said so little... This wasn't just shyness, there was something going on. He knocked.

The delivery man hadn't been gone for too long before he knocked at Rei's door once more. Rei answered the door again and bowed once more in greeting. He took the objects from the man and looked them over, pleased to find everything he had written on his list was there. He glanced over to the foreigner, at the way his eyes were magnified behind his glasses. Maybe he wanted to stay and talked to Rei, maybe they could discuss the news together... Rei shook his head slightly, waiting for the man to leave.

But he was hesitating and it made Rei stare. What could be on the delivery man's mind? Did he have something else to say to Rei? Even though he usually remained silent during his daily visits, Rei suddenly felt an urge to say something. He opened his mouth, and before he could stop himself, he asked the man about his family. "My parents, siblings... Are they well?" he asked, his voice sounding strained from misuse.

Vincent was glad to have been so helpful---really it was the only thing keeping him in his server position. He had the skills to do other things but he liked to help others, he loved to see the nod of approval, the smile, the gleam in their eyes, and feel that swell of approval in his chest when he knew he did a good job. It was why he ran from home in the first place, however. He hadn't done well there. So when he was supposed to step back, he couldn't. He wrung his hands. He paused. He looked up and down and almost let himself meet the eyes behind those cutouts.

Then it happened, and Vincent jumped. He'd expected a 'goodbye', the door to close. But this time Rei spoke even more. And it was of his family. The first time he had ever asked anything about them. Vincent bit his lip. "Er, they're... they're good." He said after a moment's hesitation. His voice just didn't want to comply quickly. "Your brother, the eldest, he visits... every other day with his wife... Your sisters are graduating school soon... Your parents are... they're healthy, strong." He nodded slowly. "It can get quite busy at their home, so I... I do what I can to help..." He trailed off, lowering his eyes and looking up over his glasses. It blurred the scene in front of him but that was his habit nonetheless. A submissive habit he had when he got nervous.

The silence that followed after his visitor's reply was uncomfortable for Rei. Several times he opened his mouth, but no words came out. Part of him wanted the delivery man to stay, so he had someone to talk to and to keep him company. But he knew that this could never be, he would never allow it. He only brought shame and badness to the people around him. It was better to be isolated in this hut. He didn't have to worry about being laughed at or called names.

"Thank you, I'll see you next week," Rei said finally, bowing the man out and closing the door behind him. He locked it firmly shut and returned to his seat by the window. The weather was fine and he could see the sunlight sparkle off the ocean. He watched the boats sail across the sea and wondered what it was like. He wished he could try fishing himself, but he didn't know how. Perhaps he could ask the delivery man next visit. He sighed and opened the bottle of sake, glad to see he had been brought the better brand. He didn't bother with a glass, drinking the liquid right from the bottle, his thoughts wandering to the events that had happened before his banishment.

Vincent nodded quickly and stepped out, but didn't leave immediately. He stared at the door and pushed his hands into his pockets. Of course he hadn't expected what he'd been given, a question about his family, something more than he'd been given in weeks. That at least cracked that solid, locked door that was Rei. Maybe he could get to know the man. It was a long, far hope, but maybe... Vincent liked to think of the 'maybe' side of things. He sighed wistfully an stepped away, glancing back as he headed toward the village square again. He smiled at the kids that greeted him, found a small stall that sat outside a bakery and bought a small, square cake in a bright blue tone off soft but solid icing. He took it along, wrapping it in a small cloth he carried in his bag and intending it for later that evening, when he was on the road heading home. It would take hours, but he would arrive in the city, back at the estate, before nightfall the next day.

Yet he couldn't stop contemplating his next week's visit. Of course it would probably be the same, but maybe then he would have the courage to talk a bit more. Ask him how he was. He had to remind himself to bring something, a little gift. Poor Rei certainly needed something. And even if he couldn't see the smile behind that animal mask, Vincent would know by the tone of his voice how it hit. Or would it be taken gratefully? Thankfully? Hopefully? Or would it be seen as a sign of pity? God, he hoped not... He wanted it to be a sign of friendship. Something positive. He got behind the wheel of the vehicle and started the engine again, only forcing himself to turn the car around after he convinced himself that going back was a bad idea right now.

This post contains blood and thoughts about suicide. Read at your own risk.

Rei had become rather drunk off the bottle of sake. Whenever he tried to move about his small hut, the world spun and he lost his balance. So he stayed at his table, hunched over the bottle as he slid it under his mask to drink. Soon he felt sleepy and he rested his head on his arms, which lay across the surface of the table. He must have fallen asleep, because suddenly he was back home, back to when he met the man that had changed his life.

It was day when he woke up, bottle still in hand and a headache pounding in his skull. He grimaced as he sat up, his back hurting from sleeping slumped over. The world tilted a bit and he felt sick. Again he had drunken himself to a comatose state. He really did have a problem, but he could never stop. Drinking was the only thing he could do to pass the time. He staggered into his bathroom to splash himself with water from the cracked sink, removing his mask briefly to do so. He was glad there was no mirror in the bathroom, so he didn't have to see his sinful face. He shaved while he was there, taking the razor blade back with him to his bedroom, where he lay on his bed and ran the sharp instrument across his wrists, so he could see the blood again.

He returned home---which was an odd thing to call his quarters---before dusk the next day. Vincent had decided to eat the little cake halfway back, needing something to be interesting on his long, boring journey back to the city, before he waited in clogged streets until he made it to the lovely line of estates. The Akima family lived at the end of this street, as if they were sitting at the head of a long table. He wasn't met by anyone beyond the valet when he returned the car, and went upstairs to the west wing without anyone even giving him a second glance. Of course Vincent was used to this, as it had been the same since he began his deliveries. No one expected anything but his job to be done and he shouldn't expect recognition for doing what he was hired for. When he did get recognition, it was because he helped someone without being asked.

Reaching his room, Vincent slid in and set his bag on the floor by the door. He had a bed in the corner to the right, a desk at the foot, a couple chairs, a bookshelf, and a television on the wall. The two doors to the left led to his personal bathroom and his closet, so he only ever really had to come out for food. It wasn't too small, of course, but sometimes he felt trapped. He went to his desk and sat down, staring somewhat listlessly at the letters he'd finished and hadn't sent. They were addressed to his parents, and his most recent one asked to just be acknowledged. He just didn't want to send it. He was too afraid. And since his arriving in Japan, he had almost lost the capacity to write in anything beyond Japanese. Tonight he would go to the post office, perhaps. Perhaps when he went off next week with his delivery to Rei, he would send it.

Rei thought about his parents. He had always loved them dearly. His mother was fashionable, a bit snobbish, but loving towards her children. His father was stern and demanded respect, but he always doted on his children, buying them whatever they had asked for. He thought about his younger sisters, and how they were when he knew them. What had changed about them? They were young women now, but he had known them as young teenagers. Did they have boyfriends? Were they going to college? And his older brother, the man that he had loved. The man that had always been there for him with any problems he had. He had gotten married, shortly after Rei's banishment. He was supposed to be the best man in the catholic wedding, as his brother was marrying an English woman.

It was strange seeing his mostly traditional family accept the woman as one of their own, and Rei remembered getting taught some English from her. Maybe he could try talking to the delivery man in English? He sighed and covered his wounds and scars with his sleeves, pulling his gloves back on. He sat up from his bed, feeling slightly dizzy from the hang over and small amount of blood he had lost. He had a paper to read, and a giant sudoku puzzle book he still hadn't finished. As well as a laptop with Internet, he was rarely bored. There was always something to keep him busy.

He left his room after changing clothes and bathing, feeling dirty after such a long journey. But he enjoyed them---the trips gave him a chance to think, lose himself and daydream. Now he had things to keep him occupied, like asking Saya if she needed help cleaning the third floor or the attic. The attic was always filthy and as a result was cleaned every several days to keep spiderwebs and dust off the stored items. And Vincent loved the dimness up there, the quiet detachment. So when he found Saya, who looked different than the rest with her bleached and then dyed red hair that was always carefully curled at the ends, Vincent was glad to hear that they had yet to start cleaning the attic, and was given a bucket with cleaning supplies to get a head start.

Sliding the pocket door aside, he went up the stairs and blindly reached for the chain hanging from the ceiling. The things up here were free of most spiderwebs but had a thin sheen of dust on them. Children's toys, mats, mattresses, blankets. A piano that hadn't seen any use in the past five years he was told. Crates of old paintings and clothing. It was like past memories. Memories he could see now, here. Maybe Rei's bedroom was up here. Or what was left. He knew that the young man's bedroom was never entered, even to be cleaned. It was, effectively, sealed. That made him sad, made him feel as if they didn't even want to remember he was alive. That he even existed. He had to do something next week...

Rei spent his day reading the newspaper and playing his games on the Internet. He never talked to anyone online, never tried to make friends. He remained anonymous, voiceless, faceless... Just like in real life. After a few bad games, he gave up and simply laid in his bed for a few hours, staring at the ceiling. In his mind, conversations he would never have played like movies. Soon he grew tired and he napped. When he opened his eyes again, it was nearing night time.

He left his bed and wandered to the window, glancing out across the bay. The weather was still, cloudless and warm. He might go for a walk after dinner. He smiled to himself and went to the stove, cooking a simple meal for himself and eating it carefully. Once he had been fed, he left his house, making sure to lock it behind him. Pulling the hood of his robes over his messy black hair and making sure his mask was secure, he started his quiet walk down to the beach. He walked along the coastline, where the ocean met land and brought with it interesting gifts from deep within it. He found a few pretty shells and a white rock that seemed to glow under the moonlight. He put these in his pocket and turned, sighting something that made his heart thump loudly.

A young couple had been strolling along the beach, hand in hand, possibly on a date of some sort. They were now standing stock still a few feet away from where Rei stood, staring in fear at the creature in front of them. Rei stepped back as the girl screamed, running in the opposite direction. The boy followed, shouting prayers at the top of his lungs. Rei quickly vacated the bay, moving up the grassy hillside to his hut. He didn't want the police to come interrogate him, so he hid in his house, crying silently to himself.

When he cleaned, Vincent found nothing of interest. Nothing that he wouldn't get in trouble for tampering with, at least. That was unfortunate, and he left after the cleaning was complete to go outside with Jacob and Gavin and weed the huge gardens. When evening began to fall, he went inside and showered and found himself in the kitchen at the sinks, washing dishes as they were dirtied so they didn't pile up. Michi seemed to enjoy his company more now, having opened up after being pinched and short with him when he first arrived. Now Vincent seemed to be his favorite of the help under the Akima name, and would hold little conversations with him while he worked, which was more than he'd do even with the family themselves. He'd reply respectfully, of course, but would be curt and quick, as if he couldn't wait to get away and back to whatever he was doing at the time.

When night fell deeper, Vincent fell onto his bed and curled away from the world, and the letters he still had scattered on his desk.

***

When he opened the door, he found Kimiko at his door with a familiar brown-wrapped package and a set of keys. He smiled, thanking her and taking the package to his desk, sliding the notes under the twine and carrying everything with him out of the house. As usual, the black car was waiting fr him with the valet, and he nodded as he was dismissed. The package was, today, no heavier than usual, and paired with his letter, it seemed to weigh a ton. Before leaving the city he made a stop at a public mailbox and slid the letter inside, breathing out shakily as he stepped off. There was no bringing it back now. It would be sent, and he'd either be pleasantly or horribly surprised in somewhere between a week to ten days, or longer if no one replied.

As he left the city, Vincent's hands stopped shaking and his heart returned to normal.

Rei didn't leave the house again after that night of being caught out by the couple. He had heard the police outside his house for a couple of days, but they didn't bother to try to break in. They knew about Rei, of course, and were bribed a lot of money not to interfere with the hut near the secluded bay. They still had to pretend they took the reports seriously, before dismissing it as hysteria or kids playing pranks. Even so, Rei had slumped down into a deeper depression. He looked forward to the delivery man, hoping that his presence would ease up the darkness that was around him.

Rei looked about the cupboards in his hut, writing down on a small piece of paper anything he might need. Of course he asked for more sake, and most of his razor blades had become dull. He Waited at the table for the man to arrive, staring at the door in hope that today, something good would be in his package.

His return was quiet, as usual, and when he entered the village he heard stories of a strange sighting just a couple days ago. Vincent stopped someone, asking about it, and was startled to hear about the spirit they spoke of being sighted again. Startled because it was no doubt Rei taking a walk. Had they scared him? Vincent bit his lip, passing by some children playing with a small, heavy ball and nearly tripping on a buckled piece of sidewalk that hadn't been there last week. He'd not seen the warning sign until a little too late, though, and felt his face warm before ducking out and away from the village. How embarrassing...

Knocking on the hut's door, Vincent bounced back and forth as he waited for Rei to open it, and when he did, Vincent offered a bright smile. He felt stupid today, that feeling bubbling up from a strange giddiness at the pit of his stomach. "Hi, Rei, are you doing okay today?" He offered a sincere, kind smile and then the package. "I'll assume the usual's here..." He nodded to the package. "Your list...?" He held his other hand out expectantly.

This post contains thoughts about suicide. Read at your own risk.

The delivery man seemed so happy, but nervous at the same time. Did Rei cause him to feel like this? He took the package from the man and handed him the small note, as well as some yen. He felt bad for not replying to the Australian's question, but he just couldn't bring himself to say a word. He closed the door behind him, taking the package over to the table and opening it. Inside was the usual, money, food. No photos or letters or books... Wait. A small envelope fell from the bag as he moved it. He stared at it, his heart was racing in his chest. A letter? From home? He shook as he picked it up, seeing his name written neatly on the front. Who was it from?

He opened it with excitement, pulling out the paper folded within and reading greedily. The smile hidden behind his mask soon faded, and a strange, bitter taste arrived in his throat. What was this? This certainly wasn't a letter from home. Had the delivery man placed it in the package? No, the man didn't know anything about what had happened. No... This was a letter about his uncle. He sobbed, dropping the paper on the ground, feeling as though he was being torn up from the inside out. He screamed and flipped over his table, kicking the wall until a hole appeared. Who had sent him this letter that retold the story of how his uncle had been slowly killed? Threatening to find him and do the same to him...

He collapsed on the ground, pounding his head on it until it hurt. What was the point of living any more? The tears falling from his eyes couldn't wash away the dirty feeling he had all over his body. This was all his fault. He had been an idiot, a fool and now others would pay for his mistakes. He felt as though he was in a daze, picking up a sturdy rope he had tucked away in one of his closets and tying it into a noose. There was no point trying any more. No one would miss him.

Vincent was somewhat deflated, taking the paper and money and stowing them into a pocket after reading the list. The usual, it seemed. He had hoped that his happier disposition would get Rei to at least speak a little more than usual, maybe more than what he had last week after asking about his family. That in itself had been a good breakthrough, had been something more than a simple 'goodbye' offered to him like what usually was. He desperately wanted to get to know the man more, but had no idea how to approach that. Could he ask to stay a moment? Or ask about something he liked? He had no idea what Rei liked, other than sake, but wasn't that almost universal? He sighed, going back to the general store and picking up some of the usual on the list, going to the open air stall for the same sake he'd bought last week.

On his way back to the hut, Vincent looked out over the ocean. It was so... gorgeous. A beautiful, postcard-like scene. If he had his camera he would have taken a picture to stare at later. Here, it seemed, there were fewer modern things taking away from the place. A few docks, a few boats bobbing by the docks, a few larger ships out with their nets and poles. The school was small, and it seemed the kids were at the beach again, studying the sealife that washed up. He brushed his hair back again, obsessively pushing up his glasses as an unconscious maneuver after having had them so long, and came to a stop in front of the hut, knocking a few times and wringing his fingers.

Rei hadn't heard the knocking at all. He had finished his noose and taken it to an area where there was a low rafter he could reach. He brought over a chair from the table and stood on it as he wrapped the rope around the rafter. His mask had fallen off his face, but he didn't care. He could see the letter sitting on the ground nearby, as if mocking him. At least he was going out on his own terms. His family wouldn't have to worry about caring for a son they hated any longer.

He slowly put the noose around his neck and breathed in deeply. He looked about the small hut he had called home for years. Would the delivery man come back and find his body? For a brief second he regretted his decision to end his life right then. At least then it would be a week before he stumbled upon his body. He would be long dead, maybe even decapitated before then. He breathed out, stepping from the chair.

Vincent was waiting a little longer than usual this time. He stepped from one foot to the other, nervously licking his lips, running his hands over his hair as the wind blew it around. What was he doing? Rei could be in the bathroom... Vincent nodded to himself, but still knocked again, a little louder this time. He would't just leave everything and go---he wanted to see Rei once more before heading off for the week.

He heard something odd---a scraping. Vincent's heart paused in his chest and he breathed suddenly, feeling lightheaded. "Rei?" He pounded the door. "Rei?" Trying the knob, he found resistance. Had he locked it? Shrugging out of his bag, Vincent pushed against the door. "Rei, let me in! Lemme in, Rei!" He'd slid into English without realizing it, but the tremor and emotion in his voice were there and obvious no matter what language anyone spoke. "Rei!" He pulled back, ramming his shoulder on the thin, badly crafted door and found himself flying in, gasping at the sight. It was like a horror movie, or something from a book he'd read. Rei---his mask gone, his otherwise billowy clothing tied and knotted against his neck, hung twitching and unconsciously shuddering from the rafter near the back of the house. Vincent's mind went blank, and he barely remembered rushing forward, using one of the blades he'd bought for Rei to slice the cloth and send him to the ground. Vincent caught him before he hit the floor.

Going down on his knees, Vincent pulled Rei against him and pulled the tight, shoddily-made noose off Rei's neck. "Oh God why'd you do this..." Vincent's glasses had fallen at one point, but he didn't know where they were---and didn't care. Rei was still breathing, but very shallowly. He was unconscious. "Rei... Rei... Hey, come on... Hey..." This was the first time he'd ever seen Rei without his mask and yet he couldn't even make out any details. His eyes were so awful only a pale blur met his eyes, under his black hair. Vincent wasn't even surprised to feel that his eyes were starting to tear up.

Rei thought he had left Earth. He felt very light headed and it hurt to breathe. But surely he shouldn't have a need to breathe as a ghost? Maybe this was what it felt like to be a demon, or a lost soul, one that killed themselves and were trapped on Earth for eternity. But now he heard a familiar, but strange voice. The delivery man, there was no mistaking the accent. He was speaking another language, English no doubt, but Rei could understand the sadness and panic in the man's voice. Sadness and panic... Someone actually cared about him, enough to cut him down.

He opened his eyes, suddenly hurting everywhere. Tears were streaming from his eyes as he stared up at the man who had saved him. Why hadn't he left him to die? Why was he crying as well. In a panic, he realised his mask was missing. He sobbed and covered his face. "Don't look at me! Don't look at my face!" he screamed, his breathing still rapid as his lungs struggled to refill. "Let go off me! Don't look at me! I'm cursed, hideous!" He wanted to run away, but his legs were sluggish and refused to move.

Vincent's breath caught, when he woke up, but his heart seemed to seep out of his body. Cursed. Hideous. He didn't think so. He couldn't see, but he would never think Rei ugly. He tried to focus, an it felt as if his eyes were crossing one another as he brought Rei temporarily into focus. "Rei, no. No." He gave up on English. "You're not hideous. Please don't say that about yourself, listen to me. I know. I'm half blind and I know." Soft contours, a small nose, dark eyes streaming tears like a pair of endless waterfalls that broke Vincent's heart a little more. "I can't see you... not well... I can barely see anything, Rei, please, listen. I barely see you and I don't think you're anything horrible. Not a demon. Not what that mask is. Why did you do this? Why did you try to..." He couldn't even say it. He didn't want to look at the discarded weapon. It looked so awful, despite being little more than a blur on the ground nearby. It had bitten into Rei's neck, cut his air, held him up to die.

Rei kept his face covered, not listening to what the weeping man said. Who was he? Why had he cut Rei down? Because he'd lose a job if Rei died, no doubt. Yet, why was he crying? Asking him questions? Talking to him like a friend... Rei growled, hitting the man in the face and rolling away out of his grip. "How dare you? Why did you stop it? Can't you see I am no use to anyone? Why did you have to cut me down? You bastard, you should have left me to die. Now I have to suffer, suffer alone like I have for years."

He found his mask and put on, glad that the man barely saw his face. For some reason, he believed the tales that he was a demon and he would steal someone's face if he looked them in the eyes. "Fuck you. Why did you have to cut me down? Why?" he was so mad he punched the wall. The pain that greeted him made him sigh. "i don't even know you. Why do you care about me? Why don't you just do your job, why bother to be kind? No one knows I exist and you should do the same."

Vincent gasped, suddenly brought out of his fog. The fog that was worry for Rei's wellbeing and safety, health, and just about anything else that related to the man, all fell away and he managed to stand, sweep the floor for his glasses and dust them off, clean the lenses to put them back on his face. The world was suddenly in sharp focus, but the words were sharper. He hadn't expected to be treated like a hero for saving Rei but he'd at least expected a thanks, a realization that death wasn't something Rei had wanted after all. Because he knew that when one almost succeeded, they instantly regretted it, wanted to go back and make it better and reverse it, try to live again. And sometimes one didn't have that chance.

Vincent's hands clenched. "And you think you're alone?" He snapped. "Think you're the only one in this little hut? I come here every week not out of necessity for my job but because I want to, because I don't want anyone else to. Your family might have trusted me, but I barely trusted myself. I was curious at first, yes, but oh so interested. And then time wore on, and I just wanted you to say something more to me. I wanted to hear your voice, wanted you to ask something about them, about me, about yourself or ask me to stay just a moment longer, maybe to help, maybe to... speak with you about something."

He shook his head. This language didn't let one cut corners. He had to enunciate everything he said in full sentences, in full terms. "Perhaps I have too many books and movies in my head. Perhaps I thought if I just kept up my job, tried to make it more about you, that you might see yourself as... something more. Something better than a mask. More than a mask. I've heard your voice, it's... it says so much more than you realize. I just hoped I could... be a friend. But you must not want that. You just want to isolate yourself and have a reason to die." Vincent's words suddenly turned venomous, and he shut himself up before he could say something to later regret. But he was still shaking.