This young "Yan" has been roaming the streets for far too long!

I assure you, after one week at Knerd's Academy, he will be a gentleman of the most upright standing.

Day One: Yan's First Day at the Academy


Upon hearing my doorbell ring, I was quite excited to meet Yan! I knew that a little hard work and effort at Knerd's Academy would turn him into the most polite and amicable gentleman in all of Menewsha! Quite the task, but I was down for it.

Yan must have pressed my doorbell about 17 times within 10 seconds, but that's okay. Maybe he was just excited to meet me too?

[1]


At first glance, I was quite disappointed to see that Yan didn't pack properly. Instead of bringing a set of suitcases or a bag with him, it appears that he simply threw all of his belongings into a basket. Even the items that he packed seemed inappropriate and just plain odd: Why Yan needed that many sets of women's underwear is beyond me!

[2]


We shook hands and I led Yan inside to his new school. He immediately became fascinated with the ceiling fan within my school's entrance. Amused by his interest and attempting to be polite, I turned the fan on for him so that he could see it in action. What a mistake!

[3]
Sorry, I have video but it won't embed! Click here!




I sternly ordered Yan to get down from there several times, but to no avail! To teach him a lesson, I was forced to turn up the fan's speed. Yan held on for several seconds and then let go, flying into a separate room. By the time I ran over to make sure he was alright, Yan had already hid. He now says that he was "playing Ninja," but I think that he just wanted to annoy me a bit more.

[4]


I eventually found him hiding behind a painting on my mantelpiece (can you spot him in the picture now?) and coaxed him into seeing his new bedroom. I could tell that Yan was not pleased with it. He looked at the peach colored walls and demanded change. I could understand Yan's concern, since peach is not normally a boy's color, but I began to explain to him the importance of accepting all hospitality politely. I had barely finished two sentences when I turned around to see that Yan had somehow gathered a whole slew of painting supplies with the intent on giving the room a makeover.

[5]


We do not tolerate such disobedience here at Knerd's Academy! I quickly took away the paint and gave Yan a talking to, letting him know that he is to follow all school rules and accept the bedroom that he has been given. Poor Yan didn't like this and immediately burst into tears. I let him cry for a bit, helped him unpack his things, and waited until he was ready to continue. When he was done and had promised that he would behave, I allowed him to meet our school's mascot: Lindsey the Pit Bull. The two of them got along swimmingly and now seem to be the best of friends!

[6]


That seemed like quite enough excitement for one day. With Yan in a much better mood and me just plain tired out, it was time for bed. I tucked Yan into his new blankets, kissed him goodnight, and turned off the light.

[7]


Tomorrow, we begin our lessons!

Day Two: Training in the Arts of Cooking and Dining

Waking up in the morning, I decided to do a surprise inspection of Yan's room. He was very carefully instructed about what was not allowed in Knerd's Academy, but I had the feeling that he had tried to smuggle something in. And I was correct - Right there in the clothes drawer were some black market brownies!

[8]


This just won't do! Every young gentleman must have a balanced and nutritious diet. The occasional sweet is fine, but Yan should not gorge himself on chocolate. For his first lesson, I decided to teach him about what food should be kept around the house. I showed him my own refrigerator and he seemed quite impressed by the wide array of food in there.

[9]


Yan was excited to start cooking right away, but I forced him to follow basic safety protocol before beginning. First, were the school's fire alarms up to code? I sent Yan to check them out, just in case.

[10]


Hooray, we're safe! Second, Yan had to make sure we had all the proper equipment for cooking up a meal. The next step was examining our grill, which Yan did with mucho gusto. He dove right in!

[11]


Yan volunteered to cook up a burger for me as I prepared our main dish. We cut up that burger meat and added it to a great pasta dinner: Whole wheat elbow macaroni with beef, onions and alfredo sauce, served with a side of peas & carrots with a tall glass of milk. Mmm, a hearty and balanced meal! Yan even learned how to correctly set a table.

[12]


Uh-oh, that was a bit too much food for Yan, though. He had quite the tummy ache afterward. I let him have a bottle of heartburn reliever and allowed him to lie down for the night. All that food sure made him sleepy.

[13]

Day Three: Lessons in Grooming, Fashion, and Personal Fitness

There was quite a surprise in store for me when I woke Yan up this morning - He had grown a mustache and dashing little goatee! I guess all those vitamins from yesterday kick-started his facial hair.

[14]


Yan did look pretty cool, I've got to admit, but such facial hair isn't allowed at Knerd's Academy. All students must be clean shaven! It was apparent that today I would have to teach Yan about personal grooming and fitness. We started by shaving that dastardly hair off.

[15]


Next it was time for a shower - Yan smelled a bit ripe, after all. :o I left Yan to his own devices in my bathroom, but I don't know how much cleaning actually went on. He seemed a bit distracted by my shower curtain and kept yelling "SWIMMIN WIT DA FISHYS!" over and over again.

[16]


After cleaning him up, I taught Yan about the importance of working out. A little cardio never hurt anyone. I allowed Yan to choose what kind of work-out he wanted to do today. Of course the little weirdo chose to do some Flirty Girl Fitness.

[17]


We danced for a little while, but I could tell that Yan's eyes were getting a better workout than his muscles, so we switched gears a bit. I gave Yan some dumbbells and let him weight lift. It seems that he over-estimated his strength, though, since he soon became pinned to the ground under the weight!

[18]


But that's okay! A good Yan-Mommy always has a first aid kit on hand, so I was able to patch Yan up in no time. Good as new!

[19]

Day Four: Out on the Town!

Together, Yan and I got ready to hit the town! I couldn't wait to see where the night would take us.

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Ah, the great outdoors! Ready to go to the city, Yan?

[21]


No no Yan, if you think I'm going to let you ride on a motorcycle into town, you're crazy! A gentleman doesn't ride a hog.

[22]


Now Yan, let's be serious. There's no way you could possibly kayak into town either. Let's just take the car.

[23]


Before driving, remember that it's always important to check your oil. Know how to do that, Yan? Give it a try!

[24]


Perfect, now we're ready to go!
Wait, do you have you driver's license? No?! Yan, get out from behind the wheel!

[25]


There we go, the back seat is the perfect place for a young gentleman. I was so proud to see that Yan had even buckled his seat belt!

[26]

Day Five: Yan's Graduation and Cotillion Ball!

Fun and True Yan Story!

I took Yan with me yesterday as I was running errands. He sat next to me in the car as I bought envelopes and went to the Post Office to mail off a bunch of job applications. I kind of forgot about him, to be honest. :sweat:

Last night I got home and couldn't find him! At first I thought I left him in the car and didn't worry over it much. But I checked there this morning and he wasn't in the passenger seat. I looked everywhere I could think of and still couldn't find him. That's when I started freaking out - What if he got stuck in with my resumes and somehow got mailed off with my job applications?! :gonk:

I tore my room apart searching for Yan, just to reassure myself that he wasn't on the desk of some high school principal right now. I just found him - He had gotten stuck to the back of my box of envelopes, which I had put in my underwear drawer for safe keeping next to my stamps and passport.

Yan, you little devil!

YAN SUCCESSFULLY ADOPTED!