WHALECOW OUTBREAK CAUSES PANIC AND CHAOS IN MENEWSHA
Menewsha - Happy Farming Ranch
An uproar was caused last Saturday afternoon, due to an outbreak of
Whalecows. Rumor goes, the cause of this disaster was a phenomenom called
Alien Planks (extraterrestrial life form, similar to a wooden plank; ed.).
Noone is quite sure why the Whalecows panicked like this, but as another rumor suggests: the Alien Planks started talking. Nonsense, of course. We, of Menewshan Reporters Inc., are sure that the Whalecows were deliberately spurred to go wild.
Who would do such a horrible thing is still a mystery to most of the Menewshans. Yet we have heard from an anonymous source that Miss Flamingo herself was the cause of the riot. It's said that because of a fight between her and the owner of the farm about her salary, she wanted to backfire her boss.
She threw several stones to cause a stampede, the stones were found back scattered over the field. After the Whalecows crushed the fence of their grazing field, Miss Flamingo got rid of the remaining pieces of wood.
We are in no way responsible for what we have written down here, we are just publishing the words of our anonymous benefactor!
A Whalecow
After finding out about this gruesome story, we went looking for more information. Is this the truth?
Hoping for more answers, we talked to a colleague of Miss Flamingo, Miss Kale Dragonheart.
----------------- Interview with farmer worker Kale Dragonheart -------------
Miss Dragonheart, you've been a worker on the farm for about-- (checks notes) two years by now?
Yes ma'am, an' ne'er I seen nuthin' like this!!
I seen those fences be put up me-self.
When was it that your colleague, Miss Flamingo started working with you? How was she during work? Did she gave you the impression she was irresponsible or insane?
Now Flink she started here a lil ovar a year ago. She did good work bu' well... She scared 'em whalecows bad by chasin' 'em daily.. Th' on'y reason I kept her on wa' that 'twas funny to watch.
I mean... Jus' imagin't a scrawny girl like 'er chasing a whole herd of whale cows.. 'Twas just insanely funny.
Ah. Yes. How--.. funny.
Did you never thought that that girl wasn't even supposed to be living between us normal Menewshans? She could be a threat to us all.
Is it true that there's has been a matter of unease between her and the owner of this farm about her salary?
I considered 'er strange aye.. bu' I ne'er thought tha' she shouldn' be livin' amongst us... Thinkin' on it now... ye may be righ'.
I wouldn' know abou' tha'. We try to keep to our own business here.. bu' since tis a small farm I heard sum thin' about it. Many of us have heard 'em arguin' over sumtin'.
Rumor has that Miss Flamingo caused this whole outbreak to backfire at the owner.
Do you think this is possible? Did she ever talk about things as "It's payback time, you stinky old fart"?
She's not at'all a private girl.. she enjoys gloatin' abou' things bu' she has been actin' rather suspiciously... She would say sumtin' under her breath all th' time.. I ne'er thought anytin' abou' it. Now though ... come to think on'it she'd only mutter under her breath if we were talking abou' the owner. Tis perfectly possible.
All together, a rather suspicious and irresponsible farmer.
Thank you for your time Miss. Good luck rebuilding the farm. And happy farming!
------------- End of Interview --------------
It is clear that Miss Flamingo is everything but a normal Menewshan. Even her colleagues admit she isn't sane (yet I'm not sure if any of the workers there are).
The Whalecows left a path of destruction and misery behind them, as they moved through Menewsha and it's inhabitants. Various shops were crushed and several people even got wounded.
The Happy Farming Ranch after the outbreak
As we went around town, we found a lot of people willing to talk but only if we would publish it anonymously. It seems a fair amount of fear is left with the people Menewsha. Scared for another outbreak when one says something wrong.
Eventually we found someone who was willing to talk and be mentioned by name. Because that's what we do, we bring their words straight to you, our loyal readers!
----------- Interview with Quest shop owner Joke-mus --------------
Well then Ms. Mus. How did you experience the gigantic and catastrophic outbreak of the Whalecows?
At first, I had no clue... you know, I usually hang around in my quest shop, working on pending art commisions, everything was calm, quiet and peacefull. Until last Saturday.. I came back from the toilet finding all my art supplies thrown on the floor! I suspect - but I don't want to blame anyone - that a horde of whalecows might've come running through my little house.
(starts to sniff) Everything was ruined! All my lovely drawings, ripped, TORN! (has a hard time to control her tears) ... all my precious time I spent on it, gone...
A very touching story Ms. Mus, we feel sorry for your loss. Did you have any idea that it has been said that a worker of the farm has deliberately caused the stampede of the Whalecows, I will mention no names? What do you think of that?
Hmm, now that you mention it.. It DOES seem plausible (waits a moment before she starts speaking again).
You know, that worker at the farm never said a nice word to me, all the time I've lived here - and I've been living here for several months now. Isn't it weird that your neighbour ignores you? (starts to whisper) I think she was envious of my talent to produce drawings this nice...
(with a normal voice again) But it could be anyone... I presume.
Really? Well, that puts the suspect in an ever more suspicious position.
Do you believe in the story of these so called 'Alien Planks'?
Alien planks? Hmm, maybe that farmer girl has made an alliance with those ... things, to destroy all pretty things in Menewsha?
I'm only thinking out loud. I've never seen a plank, and only if I saw one, I'd believe they were true...
An alliance?! I like the way you think Miss.
Maybe this is more than just a mere stampede of angry, immensely powerfull whalecows destroying everything on their way. Maybe this is a sign that there is more to come. Darker things, even bigger than this. Things noone can hide from.
Back to the subject, are you going to sue the Happy Farming Ranch for this disastrous event?
No, I think not. My gut feeling says me I'd better keep my nose out of these things. I've had enough destroyed, I don't want to get into more trouble by digging deeper into this cause.
And if you could excuse me, I've got a house to clean up and rebuild.
Ah.. uh yes, we understand. We wish you the best of luck rebuilding your house.
And don't worry, we'll discover the one who did this. Thank you for working with us!
--------- End of Interview ----------
Miss Mus clearly showed her anxiety for another outbreak. A grounded fear.
Almost nothing was left from her once beautifull quest shop. Just like other nearby shops. There has been opened a petition amongst the Menewshans where they claim money from the Happy Farming Ranch to rebuild their precious houses and shops.
Wandering Whalecows are still being brought together by freshly set up Whalecow troops. After the outbreak, immediate action was taken by the Menewshan government. A good choice, since the Whalecow were everything but calm and sincere.
But all these people we spoke to, their words are nothing compared to the words of the head-suspect herself. So here it comes, for all our readers, the interview with a master of crime.
One of the rocks found in the grazing field
--------- Interview with Pink Flamingo; Head-suspect --------
Hello Miss. Let's get straight to the point; How was it possible for the Whalecows to escape?
(after a long, blank stare into the sky) Them aliens took 'em. Flink saw 'em. But she couldn't run fast enough to get to them. They even took Lacey. She was a good Whalecow. (sounds confused)
Oh, yes. The Alien Planks.
Come on, no need to lie to us. We all know you had this little fight with your boss because of your salary. We've had it all confirmed by some of your colleagues.
Why did you take revenge on your boss like this? Why not a little talk while having a cup of tea?
(grins devilish) Flink is her own boss. She's an independent farmer. So... She has no boss to quarrel with, unless of course she has multiple personalties. Which she doesn't.
Then why is it when the subject went to the owner of the farm you always sulked? Don't blame me, I'm just telling what I've heard of your colleagues.
And about that multiple personalities, I don't know many sane persons talking about themself to third-person.
You shouldn't pick on Flink for how she talks. She's not doing anything to harm you in talking to third-person. (makes a threatening movement)
Colleagues? Flink's the only one who runs this farm, so she doesn't have any colleagues, unless you mean other farmers. They'll spread lies to get people to stop buying Flink's whalecows. They've won blue ribbons at all the county fairs.
Flink's not crazy! Heh.. heh.. (twirls around)
O~kay. In any case.
If it's no way to backfire your boss.. Then did you threw those rocks to those poor Whalecows so that you could call it an accident? You'd get a load of money from the insurance company if they'd believe you. That must be it. Or are you one of those persons that enjoy causing other people a lot of sadness and loss of precious items?
In general, Flink doesn't care much about the people of Menewsha. As long as they buy Flink's Whalecows, Flink's happy. Did you know the plank aliens talked? They said they were taking the Whalecows to the mall, but Flink doesn't believe them.
Oh really now.
Talking Alien Planks? Miss, I think our interview is over. We know enough.
Thank you for your time! And.. er.. happy farming!
---------- End of Interview -----------
* This interview has been editted because of harsh usage of words.
Not long after we finished our interview, a group of policemen entered the Ranch and took Pink captive. Just as is to be suspected from a criminal caught red-handed, Miss Flamingo clenched to what she claimed to be an Alien plank (actually it was a man trying to tell her he was her boyfriend) screaming "THE ALIENS DID IT! FLINK'S INNOCENT!". After a little struggle Miss Flamingo let go of her boyfriend, who was in desperate need of breath, and was taken to prison for research.
An investigation has been started, but to us it seems clear as water that the cause of it all was noone else but Pink Flamingo.
The girl who lost her mind on the Happy Farming Ranch.
Any news about this case that reaches us, will be published ASAP for your sake.
This was Menewshan Reports Inc., always at your service!
When an interview has been taken, we are free to do with it whatever we want.
* ~~~ End of Entry. xD;; ~~~*
It's a bit more than 1000 words I think.. sorry about that. I got all enthusiastic.. Kale Dragonheart came up with the idea of the boyfriend. C:
I'd like to thank Kale, Flink and Joke-mus for working with me!
