I'm going to post three of my poems.
I'd like to know which you like best, and why.
I'm test-running this here, before I spring it on my writing club at school.
>>;
They may try to kill their Fearless Leader.
D:

I'm awake, for the most part.

"I'm Gone"

Changes made by an unseen hand,
forcing me to believe the end,
I've been crippled and though I stand,
nobody sees my tears til I'm gone.

Drops of blood shed by unseen being,
feeding my body til I need no more,
I've been tired and though I keep seeing,
nobody sees my tears til I'm gone.

"Oxymoronic Dream Flying on a Stray Feather"

Flying free on eagle's broad wings,
parchment of the feathered kings,
scribbling down emotions, feelings,
the swan cries and the mocking gale sings.

Hopes of better tomorrows,
drowning away the petty sorrows,
gasping for a break from invalid woes,
shattering the mask that always shows.

Masqarade of feathered lightening,
dawning of a new age is brightening,
not all that glitters is frightening,
dismal plains of cheery enlightening.

Cantering in the newfound light,
praying for an end to the dieing night,
pleasure is drawn from every bite,
symphony of elephants taking flight.

Imposition on the gracious host,
real delusions of a living ghost,
reflections in the waters of the ice green coast,
to eternal spring buttercups toast.

Heavenly bodies unite in hell,
to greedy intentions the mighty are fell,
in the dark of the mind impurities dwell,
overshadowing the desparate voices from the well.

The sound of rain on the glass,
crystal fakes of the masking class,
horns of glory and holy infantile brass,
dirty fellows trample the dewed grass.

Incompetent desires of fallen doves,
missing out on the hidden loves,
crying out to the high aboves,
against the tide the weakling shoves.

"Spring in the Park"

You stand there,
apart frm all others,
shivering in the wind,
I just want to take you,
and wrap you in my arms,
let you know that it'll be okay,
that better times are ahead.

You stand there,
apart from the world,
mourning a friend's death,
I just want to draw you up,
and let those rosy cheeks shine,
I'll retrieve you from the darkness,
show you the better times ahead.

You stand there,
a tear runs down your cheek,
before you wipe it away,
you look down on your friend,
and cast the cone to the trash,
because it was only an ice cream,
you run to the better times ahead.

I like the second one better :)
It's descriptive and my kind of poem :D

^^
Thanks.
I like that one too.
Out of those, I think it's my best poem.

I love the second poem best because it rymes and I like rymeing. Plus, in a way, it brings you to relize reality a bit more. More heart warming than other poems I've read in my life. Though, I really think that your writing club would appreaciate any of these poems.

I liked Spring in the Park best as it flowed better and I preferred the topic. The first one drew me in more, but, the second verse doesn't flow.