In Memory of William Olsen

(December 9, 1991 - April 28, 2006)

I am an emotional wreck

Ever since your death

Thoughts of you weigh heavily on my mind,

Every memory of you intertwined.

I know you are in a better place,

But even that won't clear the tears from my face.

I'll pray for you often,

Ill never forget,

That special young boy who was laid down to rest.

The Winter Rose

The winter rose covered in ice,
dead and cold, you heart suffice.

It's dark, cold thorns, covered in mud,
the cuts are deep covered in blood.

Sparkling, beautiful the winter rose dies,
nobody notices its regal demise.

Seasons pass, petals wither away,
to the winter rose, your mind will ne'r stray.

For the winter rose died alone,
and alone it shall stay.

Damnation or Salvation?

The lights, above shone
like a beacon of light in the night.
Where the Lord sits upon his throne
No temptation to fight.

Down below, the evil fire reigns
Darkness closes in; no beauty in sight.
Souls trapped in rusted chains,
screams echo in eternal damnation and fright.

At final judgement I shall know to which I am damned
and hope for heaven, where my father resides.
I pray the golden gates aren't jammed,
I'll use my brother and Holy Spirt as guides.

I hope for salvation, to be aloud to live
The outer darkness is not the place for me,
The lord has to know the potential I give,
Call me celestial and free I shall be.

Controlled Murder (My personal fav)

I sometimes remember and regret...

dark, december, cold dreams, hung out to die
swiftly he entered and took hold of my heart
I should have known it was all a lie...

He reached inside and grabbed my soul
placing it in the palm of his hand.
With it, he seized all control...

He played with it, twisted my emotions.
As I cried out, he assured it was alright, I was alright.
He never knew it was comming, the greusome retalitation...

He killed my soul, with a cold, evil dagger
He set off the bloodstained trigger, with a laugh he walked away.
Never again will he walk away from me, in his step a swagger...

My heart becomes cold, my voice becomes hard,
as I utter an oath, to him, to sweet vengance...

dark, december, his heart as cold as mine
silver bullet peirced through and through
The shocked expression on his face for the rest of time...

Sullenly I put a needle to his mouth,
Sewing the lies silent.
dead. I left him. Finally.

I sometimes remember and regret...
that I didn't make the fucking bastard suffer more...

The Death of a Soul

Bruised and broken, in the way,
Always being pushed away.
No true place to call my own,
No peacefull place to call my home.

Bleeding alone in a dark corner of my heart
waiting, with baited breath, to be torn apart
watching you with longing eyes,
sick and tired of painful goodbyes.

The Perfect Lie

Blonde hair blowing around the countours of her face
grey eyes beautifully unmarked with sin
gorgeous face, perfect skin, delicate as lace.

Hard to belive blood runs through her veins
she seems a goddess, so beautiful and fine
So perfect i speech ad in deed, never down a crooked lane.

Charity fills her soul, dwells in the Garden of Eden
guarded over by fire, and watched over by swords,
never fights, and never is beaten.

Perfecty in her perfect world she marries a perfect man
She secretly longs for another, who is buried under the sand
She hates her perfect life you see, you'll never understand

The perfect lie, the perfect death
She's killed by a perfect bullet
She cries out to the sky
Right before she shoots and dies,
Pulls the trigger, sharp as daggers
Blood spewing from her perfect face,
skin no longer delicate like lace...

Fake smils, and perfect lies
no more faces to hide behind.

All is lost, the stone wall breaks
One harsh word is all it takes

Tears roll slowly down my face
Hearts are delicate like lace.

Don't lie to me, it's not okay,
Don't tell me this will go away.

I can't breath, Im crying to hard,
What the hell? Im such a retard.

Leave me alone, Im such a whore.
Leave me alone and slam the door.

Sins that keep me Silent

All alone my heart bleeding on the floor
Blood spattered on the walls and door

Looking at my broken reflection in the broken mirror
Through my eyes see the suppressed horror.

Shards of glass embeded in my bloody, broken hands
My heart clenched with the fear of reprimand.

Sins that keep me silent racing through my mind,
Assaulted from all sides without a light to find.

Tears of hate coursing down my blood-stained face
As pale, as drawn, as delicate as lace.

Silver pistol in my hand, finger on the trigger.
Hand raised up to my head, finger on the trigger.

Angel that Deserves to Die

Bloody fists, blood spattered walls
In my ear the devil calls

'You are the angel that deserves to die,
Trust me, trust me this is no lie.'

I am the angel that deserves to die
Leave me alone and let me cry.

Murder in the Mirror

Thunder rumbes, lightning flashes
A scream sounds as a glass mirror crashes

The tears fall as I cry,
The tears that peirced the sky

The shattered glass strewn on the floor,
Amid the glass my life is no more.

Dead on the Floor

a poem dedicated to my father

Fights and contention, that's all thats left in this house,
I sneak to my room, as quoet as a mouse.

I don't want you to know Im here,
I don't want you to know I've shed a tear.

The glass shatters, as does my heart,
I fall to the floor as the pain starts.

Fear, rebellion, and pain all in one,
I scream as you pull out the gun.

My heart, you shot, I'm dead om the floor,
Blood spattered on the walls and door.

You laugh as you leave me, dead on the floor
You laugh because you left me, dead on the floor

Another

Another poem, another tear
Why the hell are you still here?
Another scream, another night
Im getting way to tired to fight.
Another fire, another cut
Im locking up the door I've shut.
Another pain, another turn
I'm crying as these bridges burn.
Another fear, another lie
I see we all deserve to die

A Reason to Belive

Dedicated to my father

You hate the thing I have become
But even you should know whats done is done.

If this is what you want then fire at will
It is me alone that you will kill.

You say you do this because you care
You say you do this to be fair

Give me a reason to belive
'Cause all you've done is decive.

When I look into your eyes, theres nothing to see
But my own mistakes starring back at me,

Just give me what I need
Just give me a reason to belive

Fire at Will

You said you loved me, you said you cared
You said there was something special we shared
From all our hopes and dreams we reaped no gain
From all our love and passion all we recieved was pain.
Shoot the words and kill desire,
Stab the feelings and douse the fire.
Im not okay with the promises you made,
with the broken foundation you laid.
My whole world died,
The night you lied.
Why is love so confusing?
One minute Im winning, and the next Im losing.
Scarred and heartbroken, my life out of hand
How is it you'll never understand?
Tell me you love me before the clock chimes
So I can hear the lie just one last time
Shoot the words and kill desire
All you amount to is a hopeless liar
Stab the feelings and douse the fire
Haunted by time and deadly desire
All you amount to is a hopeless liar
Haunted by time and deadly desire
Shoot the words and kill desire,
Stab the feelings and douse the fire.