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Shion Uzuki
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#1
Old 08-15-2018, 03:34 AM

So I haven't really posted about this anywhere and definitely not on social media.

When i was 9, I was diagnosed with ADD (at the time it was ADD and ADHD, now both are one in the same). I was on medication for a bit and then was taken off for some reason. Who honestly knows with my mom. She was narcissistic and her motives were often self-centered. I never got an answer from her on why.

So I spent most of my life dealing with it. This meant dropping out of college because in part, the inability to focus, depression and bad grades. So I don't have a college degree. I ended up working customer service jobs.

Somehow I held a manager position for a long time. But it was rough dealing with it. I'd get easily distracted and had to have people pick up my slack. I probably didn't get fired because I was always there to help people and was dependable. (Sometimes a little late, sometimes really early, sometimes early on my days off, when I wrote the schedule) I couldn't stay focused or motivated. I was under a lot of stress and the problems I was facing mentally were only adding to the amount of stress I was having in that job. So I left once I had that opportunity.

I have a part-time job doing what I love working from home and it at least is enough to get by on with a little extra.

Whoo hoo follow my dreams. Do the things I've always wanted. I have the time now!

But now I don't have that same structure or security net, where I know somehow we'll get it done. It's all on me now. I've been struggling since I left finding a pace. Everything is getting worked on, a tiny thing here a little thing over there, this project got attention for 5 minutes, I drew a thing. Meanwhile I wrote a textwall on a facebook comment reply that will get ignored and I'll get 30 strange men (bots) sending friend requests.

Some days, I can get all my tasks done quickly. But Normally it results in me doing the work that needs to be done first quickly and then doing whatever I'm super-focused on. My attention skips a lot and I have trouble finishing tasks or following any prioritized list I make for myself. I eat more protein so I can focus but still get distracted. I can't keep my space clean. That artist table I bought 6 months ago is still sitting in the box in the space that I meant to put it. I sure hope it's not busted because I can't return it now.

I love that I'm super-creative (What's this box I think outside of?) and I love that I get really great ideas (sometimes they come too fast and my head feels like a pinball machine... all night and I can't sleep despite braindumping before bed), or that I'm resilient and don't give up easily (I just tend to bounce around a lot but I'll come back later)

But right now, it's either I do something about this or go back to low-pay high-stress jobs that will probably be replaced within the next 10-15 years.

I think I want to see someone about getting assessed for Adult ADHD. Even though I was diagnosed with it as a kid, I probably need to get checked to see if it still applies. Anyone ever go through this process?

Inzanebraned
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#2
Old 08-15-2018, 10:36 PM

I have not had to address this issue, but I strongly suggest that you talk with your doctor about this. I suspect that you may be prescribed a medication that can help you.
I think that you should address this issue sooner than later because it may escalate as you age.
I hope something helps you out and that things even out for you soon!

The Wandering Poet
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#3
Old 09-14-2018, 02:00 PM

I don't know about ADD, but I know I've honestly never had much of an attention span. I either hyper focus or don't focus at all

I'm not sure if much of what I can say would really apply, since I work one of those low pay high stress jobs.
My partner is an artist and she struggles with focusing too. Give her too many tasks and she'll shut down and nothing gets done.

For me though when I can't focus (as my mind is a racehorse of voices in my head), I tend to drown out all the other inputs with music. They're just my inner thoughts that need to "sit down and shut up" so I can focus. With the loud music it seems to allow me to only be able to focus on one thing at a time.

As for why she took you off the meds. It's possible the one you were on was backordered (pharmacy can't get it). When someone hasn't filled adderall or similar for a while pharmacists get hesitant to start filling it again.

 


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