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Anelia
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#1
Old 04-06-2007, 01:52 AM

As all journeys begin. As all journeys end. As time endlessly counts the years, the months, the days, the hours, the minutes and the seconds humanity has evolved and existed. There are changes, changes that arise only simply from choice. It is this choice that we human beings are all unique but we are the same. We are same in mind, body, and spirit, striving unheedingly to our future. That future is something we can never predict, but we can shape it. Although there is not one person who can accurately predict their future, it is something that humanity has strived to possess in all rights. We claim that our future is something we must be able to grasp, something that must be shaped by our complex hands. Perhaps it is not for us to understand, perhaps there is some force that guides us, like pieces of a complex game, our possibilities stretching, weaving as endless as the stars. As a human being, better yet, as a child, I never understood the full weight of those choices. For someone like myself, it was either to exist or fall. Fall into an abyss of my own existence perhaps? I shall never know, not now, and not ever. I never truly understood how complex my own future was. Was I a fool to believe that I could possibly escape the threads of time? Or was I just a foolish human being, believing that I could shape myself with my own hands? It is something to ponder now. But, looking at who I was and what I have become now still awes me. My story is my own to tell I would suppose, although there are many who play a role in shaping it. Should I tell it perhaps? To ease all of the burdens that I suddenly carry? And what will this choice do to me by telling it? As time flows and the future toils, will my story be forgotten? I suppose, as she always does, time never fails to tell.

Anelia
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#2
Old 04-06-2007, 01:53 AM

That's only what I have plus about 3 and half pages more. But I want to hear some critiques of my intro perhaps?
I'm not so sure I started this off right... :?

Temmon
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#3
Old 04-06-2007, 02:06 AM

'Tis a good teaser. :3 I tend to critique more the style than the substance of what I read. xp But that's a good intro. ^^ Having your first few sentences very abrupt, and, well, not actually sentences was a little bit hard to follow, at least for me. Also that tiny font made it harder for me to read that. xp

But I'd very much like to read more. ^^

sychobunny
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#4
Old 04-27-2007, 07:14 AM

An ambiguous beginning. This could be a great start, but as is, with nothing being lead up to, Its too broad with too many unanswered questions.

 


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