“Yeah, that sounds good. I haven’t been to their spoken word night in a while.� Taryn sipped her juice and listened to TJ, the phone cradled between her ear and shoulder, her elbows leaning against the metal island in the middle of the kitchen. She glanced up as her mother came in and threw a handful of large envelopes across the island's surface at her. She picked them up and walked them to the recycling bin, barely sparing them a glance. “Mmhmm…okay…why don't you meet me a half hour before…alright then…bye.� She walked to the wall to hang the phone up, only then noticing her mother's disapproving look.



“Don't start,� she warned.



“You're not even going to open them?� her mother questioned. “Since when did you stop even opening them?�



“What's the point? I'm not going. At least not anytime soon.�



“Well, at least take the plastic windows out of them.�



Cheryl Hoffa sighed and unloosened the top button of her blouse, taking a seat on one of the island's high stools, and watched her daughter fish the offending envelopes back out. She hoped that her daughter found happiness and prosperity in music; the way she was blowing off the idea of going to college didn't leave much else for her. She opened her mouth to say as much when Jay burst into the kitchen, bringing an unpleasant odor with him. “Where have you been?� she inquired, waving her hand at him as if to ward off the smell.



“Playing ball,� he replied. He grabbed Taryn's juice out from under her and finished the glass in one swig.



“Hey, jackass!� she protested, smacking him in the arm.



“Taryn,� Cheryl admonished. To Jay she said, “I do hope you plan on showering. Soon.�



“Yeah, yeah.� He grabbed a glass from the cupboard and poured himself some water from the filter in the sink. “What's for dinner tonight? Or where?�



“Mmm, it might just be you guys tonight,� she said with regret. “I didn't get off early to play, or eat even. I've got a lot of work to do on this case, so unless you want to order in again---�



“We'll go out,� he interrupted. “Carton's getting a little old.� He glanced at his sister for her agreement, which she gave with a shrug.



“We'll fight, I mean talk, about it later,� Taryn said, turning to leave.



“Okay. Maybe we can invite Krista,� Jay suggested as he went back to refill his water glass.



Taryn glanced at her brother. Was he still going after her, even after she had turned him down? She wished she could say something, but then she would have to admit that she’d eavesdropped on them. She tried the indirect approach.



“Did you ever ask her out?� She tried to sound nonchalant.



“Yeah, I did.�



“Oh, how did that go?� their mother asked as she sorted through the rest of the mail.



“She turned me down,� he admitted. “Something about being at a point in her life where she wasn’t dating.�



“That’s a line I would use,� Cheryl quipped before realizing how insensitive that might be. She looked at her son, ready to apologize, and stopped. He was smiling, unconcerned with her comment.



“I know, it sounds like such an old thing to say.� He gave her a look, and she accepted the barb good-naturedly. “But whatever. She said she wasn’t dating right now. Right now could be over at any time. Right now could end tomorrow. So…I’m biding my time.�



“That’s very mature of you Jay,� Cheryl said, the corners of her mouth twitching.



“He’s a ladies’ man,� Taryn deadpanned, although her stomach had churned a little at his statement. Krista’s tone hadn’t given her the impression that ‘right now’ was going to be over any time soon. She hoped he wasn’t setting himself up to be disappointed.



Jay flipped her off behind their mother’s back. “I’m gonna shower.�



“Thank God,� Taryn said.



“You wanna call her and ask? It might seem weird if I do it.�



“Um, okay. What’s the number?�



“Uh…I dunno,� he admitted. “Check information. Thanks.� With that he turned and left to take his shower. Taryn walked to the wall phone to make her call, ignoring her mother’s mumbled, “Or you could just go over there.� The operator gave her the number, and she jotted it down on the pad of paper they kept near the phone. She dialed, her fingers drumming on the wall as she listened to the rings. On the third ring it picked up, and a female voice said hello.



“Hi. Is Krista there?�



“Speaking,� she said.



Taryn laughed. “Wow, you sound different on the phone. This is Taryn.�



There was a pause, and then, “Hey.�



“Hey. Listen, Jay and I are going out to dinner and we wanted to know if you wanted to come.�



There another pause, this one longer, before Krista responded. “Actually, I’m having dinner with my parents tonight. Thanks anyway, though.�



“Oh. Okay. Well, we’ll see you later.�



“Yeah. Bye.�



“Bye.� Taryn hung up, her brow furrowed. Krista had seemed a little brusque. She wondered if everything was alright with her.



“Can she go?� Taryn looked up to find her mother watching her.



“Nope. Family time.� She set the phone back on the hook and walked over to her mother. “Not that I expected her to say yes anyway.�



“Why do you say that?�



“We had lunch together yesterday, and somehow we got to talking about how bad the food is---�



“You could always bring a lunch.�



“Not the point. Anyway, she shared her lunch with me, we were joking about having lunch together more often or something and like bringing each other lunches, or at least I was joking, and today she showed up with lunch for two, which I wasn’t expecting, so I already had my lunch. I didn’t even realize till after lunch. So, another meal invite from me probably didn’t go over so well.�



“She must’ve been pretty hurt.� Cheryl kept her tone neutral.



“Well, how was I supposed to- I mean, I thought we were joking. Or something. And then I forgot. But, I’m not a babysitter,� Taryn protested. “I’d just…forgotten. Or misunderstood. Or something. And anyway, it’s not like I completely screwed her. She sat with us.�



“Poor thing,� Cheryl joked, biting her lip at the look her daughter gave her. “I’m glad you’re trying to be welcoming and friendly. She must really be a nice girl. I know my words alone aren’t usually enough to convince you. You must be starting to genuinely like her,� she added, referring back to their poolside conversation.



The statement gave Taryn a moment of pause. She hadn’t given it too much thought, but she did like Krista. The little time they’d spent hanging out, one on one, had been fun- after Krista had relaxed, that is- which was unusual for her. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d hung out with another girl and had genuinely enjoyed herself. She opened her mouth to say as much to her mother, but the words never came out. What came out instead was, “Whatever. See what happens when you try to be nice?�



“I think,� Cheryl started slowly, “that she probably feels like you’ve blown her off. For someone as shy as she seems, that’s a big deal.�



Taryn gave her mother a long look. “You met her once.�



“What can I say? I’m very intuitive.� She picked up her briefcase and started out of the kitchen.



“I didn’t say you were right,� Taryn called after her. She stood in the kitchen alone, pondering her mother’s words. She wondered if Krista liked spoken word.

Krista loaded the last of the dishes into the dishwasher. Her parents were in the other room talking excitedly about the property deal her father had closed on earlier. The paper was signed and Bill Evans was the official owner of an old Laundromat that would soon become home to his very own computer business. The good news had facilitated a temporary truce in the Evans household.



She closed the dishwasher door, setting it to turn on later that night, and rejoined her parents in the living room where they lingered over their glasses of wine.



“What do you think, Button?� her father asked as she stopped to stand next to him. �'Hoffa's Computer Haven: You Ask, We Build’?“



Krista rolled her eyes, smiling good-naturedly at her father. “I think you'd better hire someone to do your marketing for you,� she suggested.



Her mother nodded her head, laughing. “Computers you know. People you don't.�



“Hey!� he protested, feigning hurt.



Krista shifted on her feet, looking at her parents with a small grimace.



“Honey, why don't you sit down?� her mother suggested.



“I hate to break up the festivities but…I have practice.�



Her father laughed and waved his hand in her direction, smiling at his wife. “The life of a musician. Go on, Button.�



Krista laughed and uttered an embarrassed, “Daaaad� before slipping out the door.

Krista hadn't been quite sure what to expect from her first real practice with Q. She was nervous that they would somehow expect her to perform some miracle of time and learn all the songs on the CDs after all. She was relieved when Jay announced that they would be working on new material for a couple of weeks in order to give her some time to learn the old songs.



Jay settled behind his drum kit while Sergio and Krista plugged in. Taryn walked over to a corner where she retrieved a worn acoustic guitar. Krista looked on in confusion; she hadn't played guitar at the last rehearsal. Upon seeing her surprised expression, Taryn explained, “I don't play so well. I know some basic chords, and I use it to work out the basics of a song. Then I bring it here and Sergio works on making it sound better.�



True band rehearsal was different in so many ways from jazz band rehearsal; some of the differences were a welcome change to Krista while others were disconcerting. She was, of course, accustomed to sheet music, whereupon introducing a new piece the band would attempt to play through it once, sight-reading, before taking it a measure or stanza at a time. There was no sheet music in this rehearsal.



Sergio, Krista and Taryn tuned off each other while Jay adjusted his snare and symbols. When they were all in tune, Taryn stepped behind her mic and started to play. She looked at her hands as she played, most of her attention going to the chords she was strumming rather than her singing, and she rarely looked up from the strings. After the first verse and chorus, Jay and Sergio began to play along softly behind her, each getting a feel for the song, Sergio concentrating on getting the chords and changes right. Krista followed suit, putting form to the bass progression she could hear in her mind.



When Taryn had struck the last note on her guitar she paused for a moment before starting again. Krista glanced uncertainly at Sergio, who was standing nearest to her, and he sidled over and whispered, “By the end of practice you'll be sick of this song.� He grinned and moved back to his position, turning his attention back to playing.



Krista rolled her eyes at him. What did he think she was, a complete amateur? She was a veteran jazz band player; she knew all about running a song into the ground during rehearsals. She didn't think she would be sick of this song at the end of the night; it was beautiful, a melodic upbeat number. Besides which, she figured that if you got sick of a song after one rehearsal, it probably wasn't a good one to start with, and she didn't think that this was one of those songs.



She noticed that the others were getting a little louder as they gained confidence in their knowledge of the road map of the song, and she in turn picked up the volume on her part. By the time they started the number for the third time, Taryn slipped the acoustic over her head and set it down on the carpeted floor before returning to her microphone. Krista noticed the change in her body language now that she was free of the instrument. Whereas before Taryn had been a little reserved, almost cancelled out by the guitar, she was now expressive and focused on the vocals.



They stopped playing after the fourth run and began to dissect the song, pointing out areas for improvement or change. Jay experimented with the way he entered, as well as the breaks around the bridge. Sergio worked out chord substitutions that he thought would make the song more dynamic, and played around with pedal effects. From time to time he would check with Krista to see if her part clashed or if there was something she could do to accentuate chord changes even more, or he'd work with Taryn to see if something he'd come up with disrupted a vocal pattern. Krista even found herself working one on one with Taryn for a particular passage, and was surprised to find that they were able to work well together. She was even more surprised that she was able to work with Taryn without feeling any malice towards her…or anything else. It seemed that the lunch fiasco had done away with her crush.



The rehearsal continued in that vein for some time before Jay said, “Okay, let's run this through one more time and then do something else.� Sergio walked to a little boombox that was set in the corner and pushed a button. Krista turned a questioning glance to Jay, who responded, “We tape the last run in case one of us has a stroke of genius that we can't remember the next time we play it.� His tone indicated his thoughts on the likelihood of that happening.



Once they had recorded their rendition of Taryn's first song (which Krista thought sounded fairly good for a first go) Jay and Sergio unveiled a tune that they had been working on in their spare time, one that they hoped Taryn would put words to. It was edgier than what the band had just been practicing, more along the lines of the music she wrote, and Krista noted that Taryn seemed to be into it. Krista joined in, picking up on the tune easily, and Taryn danced around, “getting a feel for it,� she explained.



Time passed without notice as they worked through the rehearsal without a break until the lights began to flicker on and off. Krista looked up in alarm. “What the…?� she exclaimed.



The others laughed at her. “It's mom,� Taryn offered. “That's her signal that it’s time to pack it up.�



Krista blushed in embarrassment and nodded. “Oh.�



“Alright, guys, what's it gonna be?� Jay questioned, tapping his drumsticks with impatience.



“Do you know 'Bones'?� It took a moment for Krista to realize that Sergio had directed the question at her.



“What?�



“'Bones'. By Turpentine? Do you know how to play it?�



“Oh. Yeah, I love them,� she answered. Sergio turned to Jay, who tapped out a rapid count, and he and Sergio swung into the song. Krista realized what was going on and recomposed herself, catching up to the intro. They played the song all the way through, mimicking every nuance of the original without error, Taryn doing a good imitation of Stephen Redding's reedy voice. Krista couldn't remember when she'd had so much fun. She'd enjoyed the rest of the rehearsal, but it was a different feeling all together to be playing someone else's music, without the pressure of having to create something for it.



They crashed through the ending, executing a perfect crescendo until they were left hanging onto the second-to-last note, then slamming into that last beat with everything they had. The room erupted in smiles, each glowing from the musical night. There was no mistaking, for any of them, that they had a great configuration. They played well together, no doubt about it. There was a lot of excited chatter about the work they'd done that evening as instruments and equipment were put back in their proper places.



Once everything was securely packed up, Krista slung her gig bag onto her shoulder and waved at everyone. “Bye guys. See you tomorrow.� They bid her farewell and she started up the stairs.



She was almost to the front door when she heard her name called. She turned and saw Taryn approaching her.



“Hey,"Taryn said.



“Hey.�



“Um, do you know what spoken word is?� The words came out in a rush.



“Yeah,� Krista replied cautiously, taken aback by Taryn’s abrupt appearance. She tried to concentrate on Taryn's words and ignore the sudden increase in her pulse and warm flush of her skin as she registered the proximity of the other girl, and the setting: alone, in a dimly lit hall. So much for my crush being cured.



“Well, they have one every Friday night at this coffee shop in town, and this week someone really good is going to be there, Alice Pruitt, she's pretty well-known in the poetry circle, and TJ and I are going, and I was wondering if you'd want to come with us? That was a really long way of asking a simple question,� she noted, looking ill-at-ease.



Krista peered at her, trying to determine what was going on with this girl. She’d stood her up, sort’ve, for lunch, and now she was asking her out. Well, not ‘out’ out, but…what did she think she was, an idiot? Once was enough for her to learn, and she wasn’t going to be made a fool of again. “Uh, that sounds like it might be fun,� she said. She pressed her lips together, as if to stop the words that had already escaped. You asked for it, her inner voice said. “TJ won't mind if I tag along on your date?�



Taryn’s laugh was laced with nervousness, and she waved her hand dismissively. “Nah, we go on dates all the time. Besides, he'll understand. We need to get you out, show you around…your own private welcoming party.�



“Oh. Thanks. That's nice of you.� Krista struggled to keep the disappointment out of her voice. Charity. Of course, she thought bitterly.



“So yeah, if you want to go he's meeting me at the record store around 7:30. Can you do that?�



“Sure,� Krista shrugged. “Why not?�



“Alright then.� They stood in awkward silence for a moment before Krista turned again and headed for the door. “See ya',� she called over her shoulder.



“Yeah, see ya’,� Taryn answered.





Krista slipped through the door. Taryn waited until it was closed before she let out the deep breath that she hadn't been aware she was holding. It wasn't a big deal, really. She was just taking her mom’s advice and being friendly, but that had been so hard, and she wasn't sure why. It was weird. She wasn’t the kind of person to ramble on and get awkward. Maybe I’m picking it up from Krista, she thought with some amusement. She turned to go back down to the basement when she spied a figure standing at the top of the stairs. “Hey mom? Whatcha doing?� she asked, peering up at her.



Cheryl Hoffa had intended to go straight to bed after taking a shower, but something about the exchange she'd overheard while passing the stairs had caused her feet to slow until they weren't moving at all, until she found herself standing there in her bathrobe and eavesdropping. She couldn't explain that to her daughter.



“I was waiting to say goodnight to you,� she said instead.



“Oh.� Taryn seemed to accept that for what it was. “Well, goodnight.�



“Taryn,� she stopped her daughter from walking away. “I’m glad you took my words to heart.�



“Yeah, well…,� she looked around, lacking anything else to say.



Her mother regarded her for a long moment, a million thoughts reflected in her face, before she finally said, “Goodnight, sweetheart.�



“Goodnight, mom.� Taryn headed back to the basement, feeling a little disquieted. She was not alone in that feeling.

Krista went over her exchange with Taryn in her head as she walked home. It was eerily similar to the one she'd had with Jay the night before. Maybe it was an after-practice requirement no one had clued her in on, that someone had to ask her on a date every time. Next time it would be Sergio. She laughed out loud for a moment, picturing that conversation. Except, Taryn hadn't been asking her on a date, had she? Despite her active imagination, Taryn had been taking pity on a girl that she knew to have no social life outside of this band. She was being band sister, looking out for her, trying to help her fit in and feel comfortable. She probably didn't even want to ask her to go, given how nervous and weird she was about it. Maybe Jay had put her up to it, or their mother, like yesterday’s lunch. Or maybe she’d remembered lunch after all and had felt bad. Or maybe you’ve already said yes so you might as well stop thinking about it and see what happens and stop letting your overactive hormones run the show before you get your feelings hurt again. It was a sobering thought and as she neared her home she renewed her vow to get over her 'crush'. She stubbornly ignored the voice inside that told her it was already too late.

That week, people at school continued to greet Krista as if they knew her personally. Most people might not find it so disturbing to have strangers acknowledge them, but for Krista it was downright disturbing, and she was equally startled each time it happened. She began to be able to place names and faces, allowing her to respond in kind.



Even Mrs. Taylor, her English teacher, seemed to be in on the act. She’d approached Krista after class to encourage her to submit a creative writing piece for the student magazine, having been impressed by the results of her first essay assignment. “You have a fairly sophisticated writing style for a 10th grader,� she’d commented. “Do you write on your own time?�



At Krista’s admission that she wrote songs and poetry, Mrs. Taylor had enthusiastically informed her that she expected to receive something from Krista, reminding her that the deadline was November 2nd. Krista had assured her that she was indeed planning on submitting something.



Despite the new, albeit random, attention she was receiving, life was still as boring as it had been that first week. Every night she did her homework and emailed or IM’d with Diana and her other friends from home. Wednesday and Thursday afternoons she sat alone and ate her lunch, just as she had the entire first week. Some things changed, some stayed the same.





During the first week at Townshend she would sit at her tree and hope that Taryn and her friends would come outside just so she could have some unadulterated time to commit the other girl’s features to memory. A week later, she knew the mystery girl personally, had hung out with her, and was finding herself being recognized and acknowledged by an increasing number of people- and she was still sitting at her tree, alone. And what of the invitation to go to the spoken word show? Krista had resigned herself to the likelihood that that wasn’t happening after all. Taryn had been noticeably absent from her life since that night. She said hi to Krista in the halls, and they interacted during practice, but there had been no more attempts at eating lunch together.



Krista told herself that she was quite happy sitting alone and reading her book, thank you very much. And so what if the spoken word invitation would turn out to be another ‘lunch date’- or so she was telling herself Friday afternoon as she watched Taryn and her friends chatting by the courtyard wall. She sighed and averted her eyes. Clearly being in the band got her attention from everyone except Taryn. Your fault for saying yes, her brain reminded her. “Thanks,� she muttered out loud. She opened up her bag of carrot sticks and munched.



Down against the courtyard wall, Taryn was trying her best to concentrate on the conversation she was supposed to be involved in.



“So what all have you done?� Meg asked.



“Not much,� she answered, her attention only half on the conversation. She was trying hard not to look over at Krista, whom she had noticed was eating alone yet again. She felt a little guilty that she had not approached her much that week (try not at all) but she was wary of giving her the wrong impression again. She figured it was probably best to let Krista fly on her own for a bit and make some friends of her own. It was clear, from the solitary figure on the hill, how well that plan was going, but what else could she do? She’d done the good thing and had invited her along for spoken word. I’m not a babysitter, she thought for what felt like the hundredth time. And I don’t need any more friends.



“Taryn? Are you there?�



A hand waving in front of her face snapped her back to her friends, and she turned her head to concentrate on the people she was with. She hadn’t even been aware that she’d been staring at Krista. “Sorry. I was spacing. What were you saying?�



“I was telling you about Sarah asking me about making out,� Candace reminded her.



“Um…wait.� Taryn held up her hands, shaking her head in confusion. “Isn’t she 13?�



“That would be the point I’m making.�



“What’s got you so distracted?� Shelley asked, her eyebrows raised.



Fuck it. “I’ll be back, guys,� Taryn said, and walked away.



She trudged up the hill, and was almost on top of her before Krista looked up. She looked absolutely shocked to see her.



“Hey,� Taryn greeted, plopping down beside her. “Whatcha reading?�



“The Little Prince,� Krista replied, holding the book up so she could see the jacket.



Taryn nodded. “So, we’re still on for tonight, right?�



“I don’t know. Are we?�



There was something in her tone… it was rigid and cold, as it had been that night on the phone. She can’t still be mad at me. “Well…yeah. Unless you’ve changed your mind…�



“I just wasn’t sure…you hadn’t mentioned it.� There was a pause, and it appeared that Krista was considering whether or not to go, and Taryn was unsettled by that. It had never occurred to her that Krista might say no or change her mind. “Yeah. The record store, seven thirty.�



Taryn relaxed; she was surprised to realize that she would have been disappointed if Krista had cancelled. “Good,� she said, and meant it.



They sat silently, that thread of conversation exhausted. Krista played with the pages of her book, and Taryn searched for something else to talk about. Her friends were waiting for her, probably watching her as a matter of fact, but she found that she was reluctant to leave. “So…how’s your week been?�



“Um, fine I guess.�



“Good. Are you making friends, getting to know people?� She knew the answer to this obviously, but she hoped that Krista might giver her some insight as to why she was still sitting alone during lunch after two weeks.



“Yeah, actually. I know a lot of faces and names now.� She paused, as if considering whether to continue. Taryn nodded her head in encouragement. “Actually, the weirdest thing: people have been talking to me a lot lately.�



“What, like voices?� Taryn teased.



“No.� Krista laughed, and just like that she changed. Taryn watched the almost instant transformation, thinking that it was like magic, the way her body communicated her feelings so clearly. When she had approached her, Krista had been stiff and unbending; every angle of her body gave the impression that she was not feeling charitable towards her visitor. One little laugh and her body had relaxed, bending and curving and becoming open again. It was contagious, and Taryn let her body slide towards the ground until she was propped up on one elbow, her chin resting in her palm. Her friends were quite forgotten. “Lots of people have been talking to me, like saying hi, and that’s not normal. Not for me at least. I mean, people I’ve never spoken to before.�



“Huh,� Taryn grunted. She reached over and helped herself to a carrot stick, popping it into her mouth. “I bet I know why that is,� Taryn said mysteriously.



“Why?� Krista leaned forward.



“You’re in the band. And you sat at The Table. By now everyone ‘knows’ you. Or they think they do,� she added.



“Just like that, huh?� The look she gave Taryn was full of suspicion.



“Yup. It’s that easy. They don’t know anything else about you.�



“People are talking to me because I’m in your band? It’s really that important to them? You guys must be pretty big around here,� she commented.



“I’m sure that’s not the only reason they’re talking to you,� Taryn rushed to assure her. “But…it does make a difference. It’s not a huge town, and there aren’t a lot of ‘good’ bands around here. Plus, we play a lot of house parties, like we said. You definitely get known for that.�



Krista was silent again, digesting the information she was receiving. Taryn waited, watching her process. Krista was clearly gearing up to ask something, and from the look of concern on her face, it was big.



“How old are you and Jay?� she finally ventured. Taryn looked at her in surprise. She hadn’t known what to expect from the pensive girl, but this was out of the blue.



“I’m 17, Jay’s 16,� she answered, her tone conveying her bemusement. She watched the other girl as she stared off into space, lost in thought. She thought it was funny that Krista tuned out like that, as she had the other day at lunch, almost seeming to forget that she was around other people. She waved her hand in front of the girl’s face to bring her back, and, because it seemed appropriate, asked, “What about you?�



“16.�



“And why do you ask?�



“No reason. Just curious.� Krista tried to smile, and placed another carrot stick in her mouth.



“Just curious, huh?� Taryn reached over and helped herself to another as well. As she did, a thought dropped into her mind and she almost slapped her hand over her forehead in a classic gesture of ‘duh’. Of course, just last Monday she’d seemed uninterested, but maybe she was concerned about an age difference…



Pretending to be engrossed in her carrot stick, she asked, “Is this about Jay?�



Krista did a double take. Her eyes were wide and she covered her mouth to prevent chewed carrot from flying all over the place. “What?!�



Taryn faced her, confused by her reaction. “Are you asking about age cause…y’know, you might be wondering how old Jay is, and…� she trailed off as Krista shook her head.



“No, nothing to do with Jay,� she stated firmly. She took a deep breath and explained, “I was just curious cause, y’know, you guys had said the other night that you played at some clubs and I was wondering how exactly you got into clubs, y’know, being underage and all and I didn’t know if maybe there was some sort’ve law that you could get in if you were performing that I didn’t know about…� She stopped, not meeting Taryn’s eyes.



Taryn nodded slowly in understanding. “Ohhhh. That makes sense. We never even talked about it.�



Krista shrugged, not saying a word, but the communication was clear: ‘No you didn’t, and yeah you should’ve, but it’s okay.’ Taryn caught it and laughed sheepishly. “Yeah, sorry about that. You wanna know how we get into clubs and stuff like that? Our mom.� Krista turned to look at her, confusion evident on her face. “Basically, we get to play at these clubs cause our mommy comes with us and sits there the whole time to claim complete responsibility for us.�



The look on Krista’s face was skeptical to say the least. “Your mom comes and sits there while you perform?�



Taryn nodded. “Like a groupie. That’s the only way owners would let us play. They liked our music, but there’re legal issues with letting under-aged kids into a bar.�



Krista searched Taryn’s face for any sign that she was playing with her. Taryn returned her gaze with her own steady one. “Yep, it’s pathetic, but you gotta do what you gotta do.�



“Wow,� Krista breathed. “Your mom is really cool.�



“She supports us. She wants us to get famous so she can retire early and mooch off of us. Besides, it’s not like we get that many club gigs. Probably even less this year without Carson’s brother helping us out.�



“I don’t know if my parents have that much support in them,� she admitted.



“Well, maybe we oughta have my mom talk to your folks about it, parent to parent,� she suggested. Krista’s raised eyebrows communicated her belief in the success of that plan. “I mean, whatever. We’ll work something out. Just stop stressing about it, okay?� She nudged Krista on the shoulder. Krista let out a small laugh before drifting away once again, her eyes becoming unfocused as she turned her attention inward. Alright, enough of that.



“I said stop stressing,� Taryn intoned in a mock fierce voice, and tapped her on her cheek with a carrot stick, causing the unaware girl to jump. “We’ll deal with it.� She leaned back against the tree and concentrated on her companion. “So, tell me more about where you used to live? Did you have a lot of friends back home?�



Krista shook her head, thrown by the abrupt change of topic. “Yeah, I did,� she answered slowly, almost carefully, her eyes intent on Taryn’s face, watching for signs of teasing



“So, tell me about them,� Taryn prompted. “Tell me the story of Krista.� Taryn met her eyes, open and waiting.



“It’s a long story.�



“Are you moving again soon?� Krista looked apprehensive, and Taryn leaned over and, with a small laugh, placed her hand on her knee for a moment. “Come on. Give. Mysterious is fine for everyone else, but I demand knowledge. I’m nosy like that. �



She was rewarded when Krista started to slowly speak, her words coming in short, halting phrases, gathering speed when it became clear that Taryn was indeed paying attention to what she was saying, and even interested. By the time the bell rang (much too soon in both of their opinions), they were chatting and laughing as if they had known each other for years, sharing stories about their pasts and the people they knew.



Taryn found once again that her new bandmate was very interesting and charming, and fun to talk to. As she sat enjoying the conversation, she regretted avoided her that week. And why had she? Why was she so reluctant to build a friendship with this girl, who seemed very much in need of a friend? Her mom’s comments came back to haunt her, and she had to wonder herself: What was she afraid of? She made a vow to herself right there and then to give this new interaction a fair chance. It was one thing to eschew friendship on principle; it was something else all together to actively run from it. One thing Taryn did not consider herself to be was a coward.



The bell clanged, signaling the end of lunch, and they tore themselves away from the conversation to gather their things and head off to their respective classes. As they walked down the small hill towards the building, both were left with a feeling that they had crossed an unseen boundary.



Perhaps they would be friends after all.

Cheryl Hoffa watched the water in her Jacuzzi rise, building towers of bubbles. She sprinkled some fragrant mixture she’d gotten from the local body store into her water, and the smell of chamomile and rose petals wafted around her. Soft music was coming from the house stereo system, and a glass of wine balanced on the rim of the Jacuzzi. Both of her children were going out for the night, and she was about to take a long, hot soak before going for a long-deserved night out with her girlfriends.



She jumped in surprise at the sound of her bedroom door banging open, and poked her head around the bathroom door to see who it was. Taryn was rummaging through her closet.



“What are you doing?� Cheryl questioned.



“I’m looking for those shoes you borrowed. I want to wear them tonight,� she replied without emerging.



“Look towards the back, I think I might have chucked them there.� She moved to sit on her bed and wait for her daughter to find the shoes so she could get back to her relaxing. “Hurry up. I have a bath waiting for me.�



Taryn looked at her watch. “It’s four o’clock.� Cheryl looked at her blankly. “Whatever.� Taryn dove back into the closet, muttering about the number of shoes and general crap her mother kept on the floor.



There was a knock on the door and Cheryl looked up to find her son standing in the doorway. “Hey, mom. Have you seen Taryn?� She tilted her head towards the closet. Jay walked up behind her.



“Hey, will you hurry up? I have stuff to do.�



“I’m coming,� she replied angrily. “If mom hadn’t lost my shoes…�



“Are you sure you need your car tonight?� he pleaded with his mother.



“Very,� she replied.



He turned back to his kneeling sister. “Hey, why’d you take Krista’s number down off the wall? I need to call her.�



“What for?�



“What do you mean, what for? Why do you care?�



Taryn emerged victorious with a pair of black clogs in her hands. To her mother she said, “We are going out and buying you your own tomorrow.� To her brother she replied, “Are you gonna ask her out again?�



“Maybe, maybe not.�



She surprised herself by blurting, “I’d lay off if I were you. Her parents are pretty strict.�



“What? How do you know?



“She told me about them. Anyway, maybe that has something to do with why she turned you down. Maybe her parents wouldn’t like it.� She had no reason to suppose such a thing, and she wished she could rewind about 10 seconds back and start the sentence over again. She didn’t want her brother to go out with Krista- for the band’s sake- but she hadn’t intended to make up such a blatant lie.



“When did you find this out?�



“Today at lunch.�



“You had lunch with her?�



“Yeah, I had lunch with her. It’s actually the second time.� She frowned, not sure why she’d chosen to throw that little factoid in. It was as if she were trying to make him mad or…jealous. She had to practically bite her tongue to keep from blurting out that Krista was going with her to the coffee house tonight, although for the life of her she couldn’t fathom why she felt the need to keep it secret.



“Are you guys actually becoming friends or something?� he asked with a knowing smirk.



Taryn shrugged and said, “Maybe.� She wasn’t about to attempt to explain her interaction with Krista to him.



He laughed and turned to their mother. “Check that out. When I told her I was inviting Krista to rehearsal she was all like, ‘I’m not going to do any girlie bonding’ and stuff, and now,� he turned and smirked at Taryn, “you’re having lunch with her. So much for Ms. Hardass.�



Cheryl’s response of, “I didn’t even think you two remembered I was in the room� was drowned out by Taryn’s sharp “Screw you, Jay.� Her cheeks were flushed in embarrassment. She had been an ass about a new girl joining the group, envisioning some high-maintenance giggly twit. “And look, it’s probably better that you leave it alone. We don’t want any weirdness in the group.�



Jay laughed and headed for the door. “You’re the only weirdness in the group. I'm going to start the car. Be down in two minutes or you’re catching the bus.� With that he left.



Taryn stood silently, tapping the soles of the retrieved shoes together. She appeared to be lost in thought. Cheryl reached over and tentatively touched Taryn's arm to remind her of her presence. Taryn started, then grinned.



“Your son really pisses me off sometimes.�



“So I see. But did I hear correctly? Might you actually have a new friend?�



Taryn rolled her eyes. “Don’t make such a big deal out of it. We had lunch today and talked and…�she shrugged.



She glanced around the room, knowing that her mother was watching her. “Anyway,� she continued, “before I forget…what I told Jay about her parents? I need your help with it. I get the feeling that her parents are kinda strict, and it might be a little bit of a problem if we’re able to line-up any club gigs this year. So maybe, in keeping with your philosophy of supporting your children’s dreams, you might be convinced to have a chat with said parents.� She stopped and caught her breath, a pleading expression on her face.



Cheryl laughed and said, “You want me to talk to her parents?� Taryn nodded. “Leave that number by the phone. I'll call Krista’s parents and invite them over for dinner tomorrow night. If they’re like me they’ll probably love the opportunity to get to know their daughter’s friend’s parent. I'm not, however, going to try and convince them of anything; how they choose to raise their child is their business.�



“Thanks mom,� Taryn smiled. “Hopefully it'll help.� She turned to leave. “I’d better go before Jay leaves me. I’m already late.�



“Have a good night.�



“You too.� Taryn turned and left, her footsteps receding down the stairs. Cheryl waited for the thump of the front door closing, and returned to pampering herself.

“Hello?�



“Hi, Mrs. Joyner.�



“Krista, how nice to hear from you,� Diana’s mom gushed. She queried Krista on her new life, and Krista filled her in on everything she wanted to know. Mrs. Joyner had been like a second mom to her, just as Krista’s own mom had been to Diana.



It was only after Mrs. Joyner had gotten her fill of information that she went to get Diana. Krista nestled herself into the window seat and gazed at the expanse of houses on the next block. She paused as her eyes passed over the Hoffa House, lingering over the window that she now knew belonged to Taryn's room. She contemplated the drawn curtains, wondering if Taryn had ever gazed across their yards into her window. As soon as the thought had formed in her mind it struck her as so ludicrous she laughed out loud.



“What's so funny?� Diana's voice came across the line, startling her out of her reverie.



“I totally spaced that I was on the phone,� she half-explained to Diana. “Just thinking stupid stuff. Hi.�



“Hi yourself. You're early,� Diana noted, her voice curious.



“I've got those plans tonight that I emailed you about.� Krista had deliberately withheld details when she’d emailed Diana, knowing it would drive her crazy, and she so loved to tease her.



“Right, the Plans. What the hell are the Plans?� she queried, her voice going up an octave. “Like the date kind?�



“No,� Krista laughed, “not the date kind. The hanging out kind. It's kind of weird.� She reviewed her week, filling in details she might have left out in her messages, concluding with that day’s lunch with Taryn.



“Wow. That’s a lot of happenings for one week. And after all that you’re still going to go on a date with her and her boyfriend? I don’t know, Kris. She sounds kinda …not on the level.� Diana made a tsking noise.



“I can see why you’d say that, but seriously, she was really nice today.� She smiled to herself, replaying the interaction she had had with Taryn. Just when I write her off as some Barbie airhead, she turns around and shows me her good side. “And so far her and Jay are the only people I know around here, y'know. So I’m not going to turn down opportunities to go out and do things. Although, I shouldn't complain about not having a social life. I can barely keep up with things as it is.�



“Still rough going?� she asked, referring to an email Krista had sent her earlier in the week.



“Yeah. I think it might be just a little harder balancing all this stuff than I thought. I sucked in jazz rehearsal today cause I haven't been practicing as much as I should, and we’re moving pretty quickly through the music. We’ve got a performance in October� Krista sighed. She had decided on her bike ride home that she really needed to set some sort of schedule and stick to it if she was going to make it through the school year. She had vowed to herself to set some time aside Sunday for serious studying and practicing. “Anyway, it's nice to have somebody to hang out with.�



“But isn't it weird,� Diana ventured hesitantly, “going on a date with your crush and her boyfriend? Why would you do that to yourself?�



Krista stopped and thought about it. She knew Diana had a point- it was one she had made to herself on several times that evening. She spoke after a moment. “Well…I think I have to just get over it. And I have started to get over it,� she stressed, aware that she was also trying to convince herself. “I mean, I wish you could meet her, Diana. I wish you could have heard the conversation we had today. She's so cool, she's so talented, and…I guess I'd be psyched just to be friends with her. I can live with that.�



“Like you did with me,� she teased.



“Diana,� she groaned with embarrassment.



“Well, this is the same kind of situation we had. Eventually. Although it took you a lot longer to get a crush on me. But,� she continued dramatically, “you were able to put those burning feelings aside to be my best friend.�



“Alright, alright, alright,� Krista said hastily, laughing. “God! Remind me not to talk to you about this again. Ever!�



“No, no, I'm kidding. I’m just jealous. I want to know what's going on. I want the latest scoop on your hot new crush, no matter what.�



“What about you?� Krista asked, trying to change the subject. “You made any progress with Ryan?�



“Well, now that you ask…� Krista leaned back and listened to Diana regale her with tales of her love life. When Krista left Staughton, Diana had been angling to get Ryan Crawford, centerfielder for their high school baseball team and much sought after junior, to ask her out.



They spent another hour chatting and catching up on the general happenings in Staughton and mutually complaining about their lives before Diana announced that she had to go. “I'm meeting the guys at Dooley's,� she said, referring to the diner they all frequented--or used to frequent.



“Ok,� Krista softly replied, feeling another twinge of sadness. “Why is it that I only ever really miss Staughton after I talk to you?�



“Oh come on, what's to miss really? You certainly never got anywhere near as much action and drama here as you're getting now,� she teased. “Speaking of, good luck on your sort've date later. And why don't you go back to that bookstore and see if there're some youth groups or something you can join?�



“Whatever, Diana,� Krista replied good-naturedly. It was so like Diana to be thinking of solutions for her. They ended the call with the usual promises to stay in touch via email and IM during the week, and another phone date next Friday.



Krista spent the hours leading up to the spoken word event in a state of agitation. She attempted to divert her mind, listening to music and working on lyrics of her own, to no avail. Her thoughts would return, unbidden, to the upcoming evening. She was well aware that it wasn’t a date, but she still worried about her appearance. No doubt the coffee shop would be full of older people, and she didn't want to embarrass Taryn by looking like a child.



She was surprised to feel relieved when her parents came home. She threw down the 40th shirt she'd tried on and went downstairs to lose herself in the bustle. They were excitedly preparing for a night out in celebration of her father's real estate purchase. She sat and watched her mom try on dresses and her dad sort through his ties until she was warned to be ready in 10 minutes if she wanted a ride to the record store. She darted upstairs and made a hasty decision on a shirt, ran a brush through her hair, and was waiting by the door when her parents descended the stairs. They were getting ready to head out the door when the phone rang.



“Hold on,� her mother said to them as she hurried over to the phone. “Hello?…Oh, hello…Uh-huh…Well, I think that’s a great idea. We were thinking the same thing…� Krista half-listened to her mother's part of the conversation until she heard her say, “Great. See you tomorrow night.�



“Who was that?� Krista inquired as they headed to the car.



“Your friends' mother. She invited us to dinner tomorrow night.�



Krista stopped in her tracks. “What?�



“Yeah. She called and suggested we all get together. Isn’t that nice of her?�



Krista spent the car ride fielding questions from her mother in preparation for the Saturday night dinner, and asking questions of her own. She couldn’t imagine that Taryn had said anything to her mother about their talk, but then why would Mrs. Hoffa call out of the blue like that? She made sure to tell her parents that Mrs. Hoffa was widowed, feeling a little traitorous to Taryn as she did so, but she wanted to make sure that no one introduced an awkward topic of conversation.



They pulled up in front of the music store and Krista got out and bade her parents to have a good time at dinner, with the assurance that she would be home promptly at 11pm. She stood on the sidewalk waiting for them to drive away, while her father idled the car waiting for her to go into the record store. Krista tried to wave them away, at first casually and then with more fervor as they appeared to be intent on staying. Finally her father leveled a knowing grin at her, and put the car into drive.



“What are you doing?� his wife questioned.



“Our little girl has gotten to the stage where it's embarrassing to be seen with her parents,� he pointed out, and with a final wave they drove off.



Krista shook her head and waited for them to turn the corner before she turned away from the street. With a quick glance at the windows to make sure Taryn hadn't seen her, she hurried a few doors down and ducked into the gay bookstore.



A different woman greeted her this time as she passed by the counter. She politely declined the woman's offer of help and ambled around the store, browsing with a casual air while she tried to locate a bulletin board of some kind. She found it next to the door that led to the restroom. She scanned the various posters and flyers looking for some notice of a gay youth group in town, but after peeling back layer upon layer of old paper, she was disappointed. The nearest gay youth group was in Phoenix. Sighing, she turned and left with a small goodbye to the clerk. She didn't know why she'd even listened to Diana. Alexander wasn't tiny, but it was certainly no metropolis. The odds of there even being enough gay kids around to organize were pretty slim.



She stopped at the door of the record store and brushed a nervous hand through her hair and straightened her t-shirt. With a bracing breath she pushed open the door and stepped in.



“Krista!� Taryn stepped out from behind the counter and walked towards her, smiling. “Hey.�



“Hey,� Krista replied, looking around. Taryn looked beautiful as always, and she found that she needed a few seconds to regain her composure.



“Welcome back to my world.� Taryn grabbed her arm and dragged her to the counter, where she had been chatting with two other employees. “Guys, this is Krista, the bassist I was telling you about. Krista, this is Jared and Marshall, my co-workers.�



They exchanged greetings. Krista felt a little overwhelmed; the music was loud, Taryn's grip on her arm was distracting, and she was being introduced to two people who looked like they'd never experienced an uncool moment in their lives. Jared had the face of someone who would be working in record stores all of their lives, with precious little flesh that was free of metal. Marshall was clearly less of an adventure-seeker, or maybe more future-minded. He had the thin, coifed look of a model, his long dreadlocks neatly arranged and several silver hoops adorning his ears. He reached over the counter to shake her hand and she noticed a thin bracelet tattooed on his wrist when his shirtsleeve rode up.



A boy with a skateboard tucked under his arm approached the counter and asked to see the patches in the display case at the other end. Jared motioned for the kid to meet him there and turned to follow. “Another 'Corpus' patch,� he threw over his shoulders to the girls as he departed.



Laughing, Taryn released Krista's arm and leaned against the counter. "We have a running pool on how many of those we'll sell now that they've gone commercial."



Krista nodded in understanding. The band had been all over the radio and were the new hip thing among the teenage rock set.



Taryn glanced at her watch. “TJ should be here soon,� she commented.



“Then you'd better finish that order,� Marshall said pointedly. “I agreed to cover your floor shift. I'm no paper-pusher.� He picked up a magazine. “Coming in late, leaving early. Must be nice,� he muttered.



Taryn shot him an exasperated look. “I could have had it done by now if I wasn’t spending all night bullshitting with you.� She picked up an abandoned pen that was lying on the counter and threw it at him. She turned to Krista and said apologetically, “Sorry, I have to finish this up before I leave. It'll only take me a few. You can, y'know…� She flicked a hand out towards the store. “You'll get a discount.�



“Okay. Thanks.� Krista wasn't sure what else to say; she wanted to ask Taryn about the phone call but didn’t think that now was the time, so she shrugged and walked out into the aisles. She probably could find something she wanted, and there were worse ways to kill time. At least this way she wouldn't have to make small talk with Marshall, no matter that he seemed safer than Jared.



She stopped at a rack with compilation CDs and thumbed through them at random. She felt rather than saw Taryn breeze by her on her way to the back with a “Be back soon.� Almost against her will she looked up to follow her progress until she disappeared behind a door marked 'Employees Only.' She turned back to the rack, with a slight shake of her head, and noticed Marshall looking at her. She averted her gaze and pretended to concentrate on the music in front of her, embarrassed at being caught. She berated herself for being so obvious, even as she acknowledged that there was something about Taryn that was impossible to ignore.



She had only been browsing for a few minutes when she sensed someone standing next to her and shifted over a bit without looking up. As she flipped through the endless titles in front of her, she noticed that the person next to her hadn't moved or picked up a single item. She grew uneasy and had just decided to go to another aisle all together when her peripheral vision caught sight of an arm reaching for a CD right next to her, and she recognized the tattoo. She glanced up at Marshall. I hope he's not going to make conversation, she thought.



He held the CD out for her inspection. “Have you heard of this guy?�



She politely accepted the CD and glanced at the cover. “No.�



“He's really good. One of Taryn's favorites. Local dude.�



“Oh.� She turned the CD over a few times in her hand, pretending to concentrate on the cover art. In truth she was unnerved by his unwanted attention.



In a perfect world, he would have miraculously disappeared by the time she'd looked up again, but the world was not perfect, as Krista well knew, and he was still standing there when she looked back up, smiling. Maybe he was trying to make a sale. Did record store clerks get commission?



“Maybe I'll try it out,� she offered, hoping that would be enough to send him away.



“Taryn's got a copy behind the counter. You can listen to it, see what you think,� he said, and before she could get a word out he'd started back towards the front of the store. She stood uncertainly, not quit clear on what had just transpired, until he turned around and motioned for her to follow him. Great, she thought as she made her way to the counter, I'm stuck in a sales pitch. She stopped in front of the counter, intending to stand there and wait for it all to be over, but Marshall had other ideas. One hand fiddling with the stereo behind him, he waved the other hand at her. Krista sighed and walked around the counter and up a small step to stand right beside him. She gazed out at the rest of the store while he set up the CD. Jared talking on the phone at the other end, unfazed by her intrusion into the sacred employee space; a few people milling about the store. No Taryn in sight.



“Okay, here we go.� Marshall turned to face the stereo, leaning with his back against the counter. Krista resigned herself and mimicked his position. She jumped as the music came out at full volume, whirling to look at Marshall. His face was the picture of glee; he smiled widely at her, as he began to work his shoulders in time to the pulsing beat. She glanced around the store. No one seemed to be fazed; Jared simply moved away from the wall speaker closest to him and continued to talk on the phone. She turned back to Marshall who was gearing himself up into a dance. She returned to leaning against the counter, her brow furrowed. The situation was definitely very weird. She felt like she was being given a test.



Marshall was in full throttle by now, and she found herself unable to not watch him. He moved with the ease of someone who danced all the time, and knew that they danced well. She caught herself moving her head in time to the music, a fast electronica song that she hadn't expected given the CD cover, and the fact that it was Taryn's favorite. Somehow she hadn't thought of her liking dance music.



Marshall made eye contact with her as he danced, the only indication that he even knew she was still there. She flashed him a small smile and turned her eyes to the stereo, concentrating on its LED lights and buttons for something to do. Her foot began to tap in time with her head. Marshall leant over to her and said something she couldn't make out over the music, and she indicated such with a shake of her head and a shrug of her shoulders. He danced over to the stereo and turned the volume down, then returned to her side.



“I said, what do you think?�



She hesitated. Her initial reaction had been to smile politely and tell him that it was okay, but she had to admit that the song was catchy, danceable, and beyond the repetitive thumpa-thumpa of the electronica she'd heard before.



“It's really good,� she admitted.



“Yeah.� He had slowed his movement, decreasing to a simple sway, still in time with the music, as he spoke. Krista looked away nervously, not sure where the conversation was going to lead next. She fervently wished that Taryn would return sooner rather than later. It had only been a few minutes, but it felt like a lifetime as they stood there, Marshall swaying and she pretending to concentrate on the music.



Finally, he spoke again. “So, you're in Taryn's band?�



“Yeah.�



“Cool.� He nodded his head. “How long have you known her?�



“Not long,� she replied slowly. “Only about a week.� What was this guy's angle? Was he bringing Taryn up because she was the only common ground he had with a stranger, or was he harboring a crush on her too? She felt a jolt of jealousy as the thought came and went. He'd have more of a chance than she ever would.



“Oh. And your family just moved here, right?� He noticed the surprised look she gave him and smiled. “Taryn's talked about you some,� he explained.



Krista fought a smile as she answered. “Yeah, we moved here about a week ago.� Taryn was telling people about her? Taryn talked about her? Well.



“You're doing pretty well for yourself,� he noted. She gave him a questioning look. “You move to a new city and already you're friends with one of the coolest people around, and you're in her band. Not too shabby for the new kid.�



She was unsure of how to take that. She shrugged modestly and muttered something about not really being friends with Taryn, and how she was lucky.



“I mean, Taryn's gold in some circles,� he continued. “She's talented, really nice, generous…� Krista nodded her head in agreement to each point.�…and completely hot.�



She stopped mid-nod and looked at Marshall in surprise, doubting for a moment that she had heard him correctly. The look on his face proved to her that he had indeed said what she'd thought. “I guess so, I mean---� she started.



“What self-respecting lesbian wouldn't be into her?� He sighed and shook his head. “She's a dyke's dream come true.�



Every brain cell in Krista's head fired into action, scrambling to find some witty comeback or cool rejoinder. If any were found, they never made it to her mouth, agape as it was. Even if she had somehow been able to force words out and have them make sense, the flush she could feel crawling up her neck would have given her away. His eyes, narrowed as he smirked at her, bore into her own, wide and unblinking. She glanced around wildly, frantic that someone might have heard.



He reached a hand towards her, placating, when he registered her shock. It was very clear to him that she wasn't necessarily “open� about her sexuality. He feared the girl might just pass out. “It's okay, nobody can hear me over the music,� he assured her.



His words slowly sunk in. No one would have heard him; they could barely hear each other, standing two feet apart. Her reaction would be what alerted someone that something amiss was going on she realized, and composed herself as best as she could. Marshall knew. The question was, how? What had she done?



“Um…� she started, but found that words were still difficult to come by. Somehow, even though he knew, saying it out loud seemed to make it worse.



“Sorry,� he said, his face contrite. “I didn't realize it would freak you out. I didn't know you weren't…�



“I just…� she shook her head. “How?�



“Did I know?� He leaned over conspiratorially and winked. “Takes one to know one.�



In the backroom, Taryn slammed her hand on the desk, muttering, “Fuck!� She resisted an almost uncontrollable urge to kick the fax machine, and settled for pushing the cancel button with undue force. “Always when I'm trying to get out of here.� She dialed again, letting out a breath when the transmission started to go through. Throwing herself back in her chair to wait for it to finish, she glanced at the tiny black and white monitor that sat atop a file cabinet and served as their “surveillance� equipment. Guaranteed to catch anyone who was trying to rob the register or steal a cheap patch from the counter, since that was the only place the store camera was aimed. She watched Marshall and Krista carrying on a silent conversation; Marshall seemed to be whispering something, and Krista was laughing. Taryn leaned forward in her seat, dying to know what they were saying. She had been sure that Krista would be off in some corner of the store alone. She was surprised to see that not only were she and Marshall talking, but that they appeared to be getting along well. Maybe there was a double date in the future. That wouldn’t sit so well with Jay though. She frowned, remembering their conversation on the way to the store. He’d spent the ride trying to convince her to use her budding friendship with Krista to help him get an inside scoop on her. She loved her brother, but the conversation had made her actually look at him as a guy. Overall a nice guy, but apparently still prone to the boneheaded maneuverings of his gender. She’d refused, sticking to her point about it being bad business for them as a group. Besides, she’d told him, if he wanted it so badly, he should put the work in himself. Of course, if she had her way, he’d just give up all together. She glanced at the clock on the wall, and turned her attention back to the fax machine.



“I only started working here two months ago,� Marshall was explaining back on the main floor, “but Taryn's cool as shit. I’m more into guys but chicks like her remind me why I’m bi.�



“Yeah, she, um…she's definitely cool.� Krista struggled to speak candidly with Marshall, but found it difficult still. He seemed to be at ease with discussing his sexuality, in blunt detail, with someone he'd only just met.



“So you have a crush on her,� he observed. “I saw the way you looked at her. I don't blame you. And you're going out with her and TJ tonight? Tragic.�



She narrowed her eyes at him. “No offense, but I don't know if I want to necessarily talk about this with you. I don't really know you.�



“Fair enough.� He was unperturbed, and turned a serious gaze on her. “Really, though…you're new to Alexander, right?� Krista nodded. “And I kinda get the feeling that you're new to some other things too?� She hesitated. This was getting personal. She studied his face and found no ill intent there, so she nodded again. “So, if you need to talk, or you want someone to help you figure some stuff out… I know it helped me a lot when I was coming out to have someone older and wiser to talk to. So, one out of two ain't bad.� He chuckled. “Just putting that out there. You could do worse.�



Krista nodded solemnly. “Thanks.�



“And I won't tell her about it,� he added.



Krista shook her head vigorously. “Please don't. You'd ruin my life.�



“I promise. I don't share stuff like that with just anyone. She doesn't even know that I’d be just as likely to date TJ as her,� he added with a wicked grin. “I mean, I told you cause, y'know, we're kindred. Gotta stick together.� He chucked her on her shoulder playfully causing her to smile despite herself. She was warming to him more now that she knew he wasn't out to date her or Taryn.



Marshall caught her eye and gestured over her shoulder with his chin. She turned around. Taryn was dancing her way across the room. Krista had forgotten that they were even playing music. The last few minutes had been so intense, and suddenly it was if someone had pressed the 'Play' button and life could resume again.



“TJ's almost late,� Taryn observed as she snapped her way to the counter.



“Not this time,� Marshall retorted and smiled at the door. “What's up, man?�



“Hey,� TJ greeted everyone as he came through the door. He and Marshall shared some version of a sacred manshake, a quick greeting to acknowledge Krista before ending at Taryn, throwing his arms around her waist and lifting her off the ground.



“Put me down, oaf,� she protested half-heartedly, smiling the whole time. Krista tried not to let the sinking feeling in her stomach show on her face. She didn't dare look at Marshall.



“Ready to go?� TJ asked the girls.



“Yeah. Marshall, you all set?�



“Yup.�



“Keep Jared out of trouble,� she joked. They all turned to look at where Jared was still on the phone.



“Get out! I have work to do.� Marshall playfully shoved Krista towards the end of the counter. She took her cue and went to stand by TJ and Taryn, who were each standing with an arm around the other.



“Alright, see you tomorrow morning,� Taryn called as she steered TJ towards the door. Krista followed, feeling for all the world as if she didn't exist.



“Krista!� She turned and looked back at Marshall. He winked. “Call me sometime.� She smiled and headed out the door.

The coffee shop was on a small side street that was adjusting to the changes of gentrification. Storefronts that were abandoned and empty stood side by side with consignment boutiques and small restaurants, the faint outlines of their old signs barely visible in the low light of the approaching evening. The glow of Christmas lights that hung around the outdoor seating area of Cuppa greeted the unlikely trio as they walked in, TJ and Taryn waving and exchanging greetings with several patrons and staff, Krista trailing behind, taking it all in. The place was on the verge of becoming very crowded, and all of the tables near the cleared area, which Krista assumed would be the “stage,� were already taken. A server with a tray loaded with dirty dishes stopped on her way by and said, “Hey guys. Gimme a sec.� Krista looked after her, confused, and started to ask Taryn what she meant. She swallowed her question as she turned to her companions; they were deep in conversation with someone else.



Suddenly they were moving, a table with three chairs having mysteriously popped up near them. As they approached she saw the same server that had spoken to them wipe off their table and levy a wink at TJ when she was done. They sat down, TJ scooting his chair closer to Taryn so that he had a view of the performance area. Krista resisted the urge to fold her hands in her lap like a child. Things were moving so fast. It seemed that a steady stream of people came and went from their table to say hello and chat with Taryn and TJ. She struggled not to stare in awe. To know so many people! And it was clearly an older crowd; these people did not go to Alexander High School. She averted her eyes to the area where a couple of people were starting to fiddle with the mics and sound equipment.



Taryn had half her mind on keeping up the small talk she was forced to engage in as people she hadn't talked to in a while forced their way into her space. The other half was on Krista. She knew she hadn't given her much of her attention since the record store, and she didn't want her to feel like a third wheel. She felt responsible for her, since she had invited her along in the first place. She had noticed out of the corner of her eye that Krista had maintained a steady expression of awe since walking through the door.



Making a decision, Taryn held a finger up in a 'wait a minute' gesture to her visitor of the moment and leaned over to Krista, who was staring at the performance set up. “How're you doing?� she asked, grinning when Krista jumped.



“Oh, fine.� Krista smiled gamely.



“You seem a little overwhelmed,� Taryn suggested.



“Well…how do you know so many people? I mean, everyone in here seems to know you.�



Taryn laughed. “I've lived here all my life, Krista. It's not anything I did. It's a natural by-product. Wait a few months. You'll 'know' everyone too.� Her tone implied that it wasn't a good thing.



“Why is it,� Krista asked, her eyebrows quirked in amusement, “that the unpopular kids gripe about no one talking to them, and the popular ones complain that everyone talks to them?�



Taryn laughed in surprise. “Wow. When you finally open your mouth, you’re a firecracker. You should do it more often.�



Krista blushed and looked away. Taryn's tone was teasing, and the interaction felt vaguely like flirting, or Krista's idea of flirting, since she hadn't experienced it beyond the occasional remark from Diana. Thankfully their server appeared at that moment and offered to take their orders. She started with TJ, and it was clear from the way they chatted that they knew each other. Krista took the opportunity to peruse one of the untouched menus on the table. When she finally came around to her, Krista was ready and ordered a chai latte. Her mother had made chai tea at home on occasion, and she'd liked it. Part of her had wanted to order a hot chocolate, but had feared that it would make her look childish in this decidedly grown-up atmosphere.



The lights in the café dimmed and slight mic feedback drew everyone's attention to the performance area. A tall bespectacled man with a graying ponytail stood in the center of a spotlight, smiling and pacing a little as he straightened out the tangles in the mic cord.



“Alright,� he started when the noise in the room had quieted and he was assured of having everyone's attention. “Welcome to the Cuppa Copa’s Spoken Word night. Tonight we have for you our regulars, our loyal parade of talented local artists, as well as a special treat. She just happened to be passing through, and was nice enough to agree to come in tonight and share some of her latest words with us. Alice Pruitt!� The room broke out in applause. Krista joined in automatically even though, truth be told, she had no idea who Alice Pruitt was. As a matter of fact, she knew nothing about it beyond the basics of what it was. The applause died down, and the man continued. “So, without further ado, let's bring out our first performer of the evening, Jason Broderick.� There were more applause and he handed the mic over to another man, who waited for the applause to die down again, then launched into a fast-paced piece, his delivery a percussive staccato. Krista observed him with something akin to shock. When and how did he get in a breath?



The man flowed from piece to piece, not allowing the audience time to applaud in between. His topic was war and aggression, and how it related to men. His voice was harsh and raspy, and his face shone with sweat and he paced frantically back and forth across the small space, his hands gesturing in a steady rhythm with his words. His words and style were that of a hip-hop artist but without the music behind him. They formed a rhythm all their own, and Krista had to make a conscious effort not to rock in time with his words. The only real setback she could see to his style was that she had a hard time making out his words from time to time, but she eventually stopped trying to make out each one and let the overall flow of them take over.



There was a steady progression of performers, varying in style, subject matter, and talent. Krista sipped at her chai intermittently, intent on the words coming at her. Every now and then, when someone had a particularly good run, she would glance at Taryn to see how she was reacting and find Taryn turning to check on her. Their eyes would meet and they would share a mutual moment of appreciation before Krista would return her attention back to the performer.



When the host came back on to announce the final performer, their special guest Alice Pruitt, there was a palpable excitement in the air. Krista found herself squirming in anticipation even though she had no idea who she was. Taryn leaned over and whispered, “She's really something. I mean, if you thought everybody else was good, you're in for a treat.� Krista turned back to the spotlight and clapped as a tiny blonde woman stepped up and took the mic. She didn't look at the crowd. Her head was bowed, and even from where she was sitting Krista could see that her small frame was alive with building tension. She began to bounce on the edge of her toes. Krista wasn’t even aware that she had craned forward in her seat in anticipation of what was to come.



Alice Pruitt burst forth with an unparalleled energy. Her voice was strong and expressive, never rising above conversation level, and she bounced constantly as if there was boundless energy still trapped inside of her. Her delivery was varied, at times words rushing from her mouth as if a faucet had been left on, at others drawing them out long and slow, syllables pouring like molasses. Krista was fascinated by her delivery, but what really caught her attention, and she imagined part of the reason for her popularity, was the subject matter.



Krista fought to keep her mouth from dropping open at the theme of the first piece. Without preamble her ears were assaulted with every imaginable word and description for the female sex organ as Alice Pruitt extolled the virtues of masturbation. Krista wasn’t naïve; masturbation wasn't foreign territory for many teenagers, and she was no exception. But to have it spoken about so openly, to have this woman with the pixie hair describing to a roomful of people the intimate ways in which she touched herself…Krista's eyes roamed the room, not sure where to look. She was most certainly not about to share any more glances with Taryn at this point, and if she looked directly at Alice Pruitt she ran the chance of making eye contact with her by accident.



As her set went on Krista found her situation worsening. She was trapped in the most awkward of situations. She was enjoying the performance, inspired by the woman's words and her treatment of the subject matter. It made her fingers itch for a pen. She also felt uncomfortable. Alice Pruitt introduced a parade of topics she'd thought too taboo for public, but the last one in particular hit too close to home for her.



At first it seemed to simply be a piece about having sex, but as the details grew more and more graphic it became clear that the person she was describing having sex with was another woman. She spoke passionately about the touch, the feel, and the scent of loving a woman. Krista was on the verge of bolting from her seat. For the first time she wished she weren't there with Taryn. The piece was powerful and evocative, but she couldn't enjoy it without reserve. She was painfully aware of the presence beside her, who had played a prominent role in thoughts and feelings very much like what was being described on stage.



Alice Pruitt was called back on to do an encore after her last number, as racy as the others. This time when the audience clapped, Krista joined in earnest, her hands stinging with the force of her enthusiasm. The main lights came back on and a crowd formed around the stage as well wishers and fans vied for a moment of her attention. Krista took her cue from Taryn and TJ, adding her money to the small pile on the table to pay for their drinks, and following them to the door. She didn’t feel like a third wheel at that point. She was glad to be left alone with her thoughts, to process the experience she'd just had. They stood for a moment on the sidewalk outside the café, and Krista breathed deeply in the warm night air.



They started down the street to where TJ was parked, the couple in front, Krista walking behind them. Taryn slowed her pace until she was abreast of the girl. “So? What'd you think?�



“It was…incredible.� She glanced at Taryn to gauge her reaction. Taryn had praised Alice Pruitt’s work before she’d come onstage, so she’d obviously seen her before. If she liked it, and she was straight, Krista’s own liking of it wouldn’t give her away, would it?



“Yeah? Didn’t I say Alice Pruitt was awesome?� Krista nodded.



TJ glanced back at her and asked, “Were you shocked? Was it a little much for you?�



Krista looked at him, trying to determine whether or not he was making fun of her. She was saved the problem of a response when Taryn smacked him on the arm and exclaimed, “TJ! Don't be a dick. You weren't exactly blasé about it the first time you heard it.� She laughed, and continued to question Krista about her opinions of the show. Krista felt quite comfortable discussing everyone else, and was grateful that they were steering clear of Alice Pruitt.



They reached the truck and squeezed into the cab. Taryn apologized for the tight fit, explaining that Jay had the car for the night. Krista didn't mind it so much. Taryn sat in the middle, leaving Krista wedged between her and the door, where Krista was able to continue the theme of the evening: conflict. The sensation of Taryn's warm thigh pressed against her own, which would have been distracting on any occasion, was exacerbated by the images and feelings Alice Pruitt's words had inspired. She struggled to keep up her end of the conversation, and was relieved when she advised TJ to take the turn that led down her street. She had her door open as soon as the truck had stopped, and hopped out .



“Thanks for letting me come along,� she said, looking into the cab to include TJ.



“No problem,� he responded, offering a small smile.



“Thank you for coming,� Taryn said. “You sure you don't wanna hang out some more?�



Krista shook her head. On the ride home Taryn had mentioned that she and TJ were going to get some food afterwards. Krista had declined. She was anxious to get home and review the night's events in the quiet of her room. She had also noticed the look on TJ's face when Taryn had invited, and had surmised that three would definitely be a crowd. “Thanks though.�



“Alright. Oh, I forgot. My mom’s probably gonna call your folks to see if they want to come over for a late lunch tomorrow afternoon, so no band practice.�



Krista threw her hands up. “Right! I meant to ask you about that. Your mom did call. Did you…?�



Taryn grinned. “It’s just the polite, neighborly thing to do. And maybe it’ll make your folks feel a little better.�



“Maybe,� Krista mused, her face showing her appreciation.



“So, tomorrow!� Taryn waved as TJ gunned the engine and pulled away.



“Tomorrow,� she said to no one in particular, and turned to go inside. The house was dark save for the table lamp her parents left whenever they went out for the night. They hadn't returned from their dinner out yet, she realized, and wondered what was taking them so long. “Maybe they went to the same make-out spot Taryn and TJ are gonna hit later,� she joked aloud, and flinched a little at how loud her voice sounded in the empty house. She headed for the kitchen where she quickly made a sandwich and took it upstairs to her room, where she sat in her window seat with a pen to think and write. When her parents came home and checked in on her an hour later, she pretended to be asleep. She didn't actually go to bed till much later.

At least one morning out of every weekend the Evans family gathered around their dining room table for a large family breakfast, free from the frantic activity of their weekday mornings. It was seen as a time to relax and catch up on events and news that the hectic pace of the workweek may have obscured. Krista both loathed and loved the weekend ritual. She enjoyed the bountiful food, but she hated the fact that she was forced to awaken earlier than she'd like. She wasn't too crazy about having to revisit topics she felt she'd been grilled about enough during the week either.



“How was your poetry show?� her father asked, reaching for another pancake.



Krista suppressed a grin at his term. “It was good.�



“It happens every week, right?� her mom questioned, most of her concentration on the grocery list she was making.



“Yeah.� She eyeballed her, wondering where she was going with the question.



“Maybe we should check it out.� Her mother glanced at her father, who shrugged.



“Might be interesting,� he answered.



Krista tried not to laugh out loud. “Could be.� She sure hoped Alice Pruitt wouldn't be making any more visits to town in the near future. She could just see her parents' faces. Not that she thought they would ever really go. “Lots of young people though. You might not feel comfortable.� She stared at the syrupy remains of her breakfast, smirking. Out of the corner of her eye she saw her parents exchange indignant expressions.



“Hmph,� her father replied. His expression of mock anger was quickly replaced with one of child-like excitement. “Kris, what are you up to today? You have time to come down to the store and help me out? I want to finish up the cleaning today.�



“Sorry dad. I've promised myself that I would spend the day catching up on schoolwork and practicing for jazz band. I want to make sure I'm in good shape for next week.� The regret in her voice was genuine. Ever since her father had started to talk about opening his own shop, she'd been excited at the prospect of helping him out. If she was going to be able to survive the schedule she'd set up for herself (and she was beginning to wonder whose bright idea that was anyway), she needed to put it aside this time. She wasn't sure if her schedule could take adding one more thing to it.



Her father nodded in understanding, although his disappointment was evident. “That's okay. I'm glad to see you organizing your time.�



“That's what'll save you,� her mother added. “By the way, Jay called last night while you were out. I told him you’d gone out with Taryn. Do you need anything special from the store?� Her father shook his head. Krista reached over and took her mom's notepad to make sure she didn’t need to add anything. She wondered what Jay would be calling her for. Probably to warn her about that night’s interfamily gathering.



Breakfast ended shortly, and the Evans family went their separate ways. Krista's mom went to the grocery store to get ingredients for the dessert she was preparing for dinner with the Hoffas; her dad went downtown to finish cleaning out the leftovers from the previous business; and Krista sequestered herself in her bedroom.



She'd designed a schedule for herself, dividing the day into segments and allotting tasks to each segment. She spent the first few hours after breakfast catching up on her schoolwork. Overall the arrangement went smoothly, except for the time she had to spend online researching. She received IMs from just about every friend she had, and it was an exercise of extreme willpower to not simply give in and chat the afternoon away, especially when she received one from Diana, wanting to know all the details of her “date.� She did answer that one, with a promise to talk to her later.



It was with much excitement that she closed her last book and picked up her bass. She worked her way through the songs for jazz band, repeating stanzas over and over again as she struggled with the harder parts. After an hour or so of this she put the sheet music away, knowing that she would spend more time on it tomorrow, and popped in one of Q's demo CDs. She had saved the biggest chunk of time for this project. There was no sheet music involved, so it would be entirely a matter of listening to the songs over and over again. Overall they weren't very complicated (not nearly as hard as some of her jazz band music), and she was able to pick them up easily. However, she found herself struggling with her ego during the process, as once she'd mastered the old bass line for a song, she felt compelled to try and improve on it in some way even when, as she had to admit to herself at least once during the process, it was perfectly fine as it was. There was something about showing up at a rehearsal and playing the exact same thing as your predecessor that seemed a little…well, lame to her.



Eventually her practicing degenerated into her laying on her back on the floor, head propped against a sweatshirt, just listening. It was amazing to mark Taryn's progression as a songwriter. Even without dates, she would have been able to put the demos in chronological order. Her earlier songs had a younger feel to them. The subject matter was never very deep, and the lyrics themselves were poppy as a whole. As each new song began, however, there was a subtle difference in her lyrics, even in the music itself, that spoke of a growing maturity. Even her voice got stronger. Krista marveled at the amount of change the band had exhibited in its short time. The last demo, the one most recent in date, was the culmination of all that change, and it was a showcase of the band's talent. The music was tighter than ever, as if everyone had finally grown used to each other's styles. Taryn's voice was fully developed and unrestrained. Her lyrics told stories, full and rich with detail. Krista almost laughed out loud during a song entitled “The Big Deal,� which seemed to be about losing one's virginity, which Taryn had apparently felt was over-rated. She almost felt guilty listening to those songs, the ones that were drawn from personal experience, as if she were a voyeur.



She sighed and turned her head until she could see the treetops out her window. She folded her arms behind her head and daydreamed about Taryn while her voice serenaded her from her stereo.

“You find everything okay? Good.� Marshall placed the woman’s purchases into a bag, gave her change, and bade her 'Have a nice day.’ He grabbed a towel and made busy behind the counter, wiping off the glass of the display cases. “Did you see the CDs that lost one bought? Bet you money those’re gifts for a nephew or niece, and she thinks she’s getting them the latest and greatest in popular music. I wish shoppers like her would ask for help. I feel like I’m aiding and abetting poor gift-giving.�



“Sure you do. Except I bet the lazy, minimum-wage worker part of you is just as glad that she didn't.� Taryn dropped a box onto the floor next to him.



“I wouldn’t have minded chaperoning her today. Business is really slow for a Saturday afternoon.�



“Good. That means you have time to help me with these.�



“What are these?� He leaned down and pawed through the box. He pulled out a beaded denim purse emblazoned with the name of a popular boy band and threw it back in disgust. “Since when,� he demanded of Taryn, “have we been in the business of selling this kind of crap? How many giggly teenage girls do we have come in here anyway?�



“Not many,� she answered calmly as she grabbed a stack of special orders from alongside the register.



“So why are we stocking giggly teenage girl shit?�



“Because Craig thinks that the parents and aunts and uncles of giggly teenage girls wander in here often enough to make these things sell,� she said, referring to the store’s owner.



“He should leave that shit to the MegaMusic Plex.� He sighed and began sorting the contents into some sort of order. “Krista's really cool.�



Taryn hid a smirk at the abrupt change of topic. She’d wondered when he would get around to pumping her for information. It was obvious that they had hit it off. “Yeah. She is. I noticed you guys were getting along pretty well yesterday.� She thumbed through the special orders, looking for duplicate requests, and shot Marshall a sly look.



He stopped his sorting and stared at her. “Were you spying on us?� he asked in mock indignation. “Shame on you.�



“No, I wasn't,� she said laughing. “At least, not for long. Whatever, man, she is cool, and she needs some friends. She's so shy and quiet.�



“They always say it's the quiet ones you have to look out for.�



“Uh-huh. And maybe I should warn her about the loudmouthed ones,� she said, throwing a pointed look his way. A customer arrived at the counter at that moment, and Taryn turned to greet him. “Hi, how can I help you?�



Marshall waited for Taryn to finish helping the customer. When she was done and had turned her attention back to the special orders, he continued. “So, she doesn't have a boyfriend, huh?�



Taryn turned and looked at him, a small smile playing at her lips at his attempt to be coy about his interest. “Nnnooo,� she drew out. “But then again she did just move here.�



“Yeah but, what about before? Did she leave somebody behind when she moved?�



Taryn thought about it. They hadn't had much discussion- well any discussion- about Krista's personal life. “You know, I don't know. We haven't talked about stuff like that.�



“Hmm.� Marshall finished his sorting and picked up the box. “I thought that was the sort of stuff you girls loved to talk about. She's even hung out with you and your boyfriend, but you don't know anything about her love life?� He turned away and walked out onto the floor. “I'm gonna find a home for this crap.�



Taryn shook her head and began entering special orders into the computer. So she didn't know anything about Krista's love life. Big deal. It wasn’t her job to scope out information for him. Krista was clearly a very private person. She probably didn't talk about that stuff with just anyone. Still, Taryn couldn't shake a sudden desire to know. She'd turned down a date with her brother, who was no slob in the girl department. Maybe she did have someone back in her hometown, and if they were going to be friends, it was kind of thing Taryn should know about.

She blinked her eyes rapidly, trying to clear out her muddled mind. Slowly things began to filter through the haze: daylight, her room, music coming from her stereo, a knocking on her door--- it was the knocking that had awoken her.



“Come in,� she called out.



The door opened and her mother's head appeared. “Honey, you should get ready. We need to be at the Hoffa’s soon. And don’t forget to bring your bathing suit.�



Krista shot a panicked look at the alarm clock next to her bed. 5:30. She had been napping for a bit. She looked back at her mother and shook her head in confusion. “I'll, um, get ready.� Her mother smiled indulgently and slipped back out, closing the door behind her.



Krista sat for a moment, taking in her surroundings and gathering her wits about her. She hated that foggy-brained feeling that came after being yanked from sleep. Did her mom say to bring a bathing suit? Seriously? Her hand found the remote for the stereo and she turned it off. She climbed to her feet, running her hand through her hair. She hadn't even thought about what she would wear. And she needed to shower. She grabbed her towel from the back of her door and hurried down the hall to the shower.



Twenty minutes later she emerged, refreshed and awake. She shuffled down the hall, her bathrobe tied tightly around her, toweling her hair dry. A note was tacked to her door: ‘We went over. Hurry up.’ “Thanks guys,� she muttered, ripping the note down. She stepped into her bedroom and shut the door behind her. She sniffed the air appreciatively. It was thick with the smell of barbeque, and she heard voices outside her window. She headed towards her window, stopping on the way to grab a t-shirt off the bed. Her parents had just arrived at the Hoffas. She could see Mrs. Hoffa greeting them. Her eyes traveled from the adults to the grill Jay was standing next to that was set up near the pool. He was wearing swim trunks and appeared to be stoking the flames. Her stomach growled in response; she hadn’t realized how hungry she was. Her eyes continued their wandering, looking for an as-yet unseen Taryn. She did one more sweep of the yard, but still didn’t see her. She turned away and went to her closet to pull out the standard tank top and trunks she wore for swimming.

She hesitated for a split second before opening the heavy wooden door that led to the backyard. She slipped in unobserved and stood by the door, absorbing the scene. Her parents were sitting with Mrs. Hoffa on a set of lounge chairs that were arranged by the edge of the pool. Jay was still tending the coals in the grill. Taryn remained nowhere to be found. Maybe she had decided she had better things to do on a gorgeous Saturday afternoon.



She was still standing there, clutching her towel in her arms when Jay looked up from the grill and saw her. “Hey,� he greeted, waving at her. He roused the attention of her parents and Mrs. Hoffa, who all turned and smiled at her in greeting.



“About time you got here,� her mother chided. “I thought you’d fallen back asleep.� Krista colored slightly in embarrassment and went to join them.



“Hi Krista,� Mrs. Hoffa welcomed her.



“Hi, Mrs. Hoffa.�



“Krista,� she admonished her, “what did I tell you?�



Krista stared at her in confusion for a second before remembering. “Oh,� she said, looking down shyly and smiling. “Sorry. Hi, Cheryl.� She tried not to stumble over the unfamiliar address. She was careful not to look at her mother, whom she was sure was looking at her with disapproval. When Mrs. Hoffa turned back to her parents to continue fussing over them she gratefully escaped over to where Jay was manning the grill.



“Hey,� she greeted him. “I didn’t know you were a master griller.�



“Yeah,� he joked, “it’s a hard job but, I’m the man to do it.� He tossed the large two-pronged fork he was holding into the air with a twirl. It arced and dropped into the pool. He winced and glanced at the giggling Krista before going to the edge and leaning over as if to fish it out. She heard him sigh; the fork was well on its way to the bottom. He began to stand when there was a rush of motion beside her and suddenly Taryn was there with outstretched arms. Krista watched in fascination as an unaware Jay seemed to fall in slow motion, head-first, into the pool.



Jay emerged quickly, flinging his soaking hair out of his eyes and glaring at Taryn, who was crouching next to the pool, laughing. His eyes flickered to the other end of the pool where the adults were watching, and he cut off the line of foul language he was about to send Taryn’s way. He settled for muttering, “Hah hah, very funny,� before diving down to the bottom to snag the fork. Grilling implement finally in hand he crawled his way back to the edge of the pool and hauled himself up. He made sure to shake himself with enough vigor to send a spray of water Taryn and Krista’s way.



Krista had covered her mouth, trying hard not to laugh. “Yeah, go ahead and laugh,� he said, smiling slyly. Krista quickly turned to face Taryn, who was edging towards her.



“Oh no,� she said, backing away. She plucked at her shirt. “Not in my clothes.�



Taryn stopped and put her hands on her hips. “You have to come out of them sometime.�



Krista blushed at the remark, knowing that it hadn’t sounded nearly as risqué to anyone else. “Where did you come from?� she asked to cover up her embarrassment.



Taryn turned around and reached for something lying on the ground behind her. When she stood again she was holding a bag of ice. “What would a party be without the obligatory last-minute ice run?�



“Thanks honey,� Mrs. Hoffa said, coming over to retrieve the bag. Turning back to Krista’s parents she asked, “What will you have to drink? I have mixers for cocktails, soda, juice…you name it.�



“Um…� Mr. Evans hesitated.



“Tell you what,� Mrs. Hoffa offered. “Why don’t you come inside and take a look at the selection?� With that she headed for the sliding glass doors that led into the house, leaving Krista’s parents with no choice but to follow.



Jay resumed his position by the grill, glancing warily at Taryn, and stoked the charcoal. The water from the fork made the coals sizzle and emit light plumes of smoke. Krista stepped a bit closer and inhaled, smiling. At Jay and Taryn’s questioning looks she explained sheepishly, “I love the smell of burning charcoal. It’s the best part of barbeques.� They nodded in apparent understanding.



“It’ll definitely be the best part of this BBQ,� Taryn commented, throwing a teasing grin Jay’s way. “How do you like your burgers: well-done or really well-done?�



“Bite me,� he retorted.



“Watch your language. We have guests,� she responded primly, wagging her finger at him.



“Guests leave,� he shot back, narrowing his eyes.



Krista watched the exchange with amusement, and some envy. She thought back to the conversation she had had with Taryn at the drive-in. It was times like these that she did wish for a sibling.



“How long till food? I’m starving,� Taryn asked.



“Mmm, these are almost hot enough. Another five minutes and we can probably put the burgers on.�



“Quick swim before dinner then.� Taryn walked to the line of loungers at the other end of the pool and peeled off her shirt, revealing a small blue bikini top. Krista averted her eyes and reminded herself to breathe. Now there’s an unforeseen problem, she thought wryly. Taryn flesh, and lots of it from the looks of that top.



Jay noticed her reaction and, misreading it, admonished, “Taryn, BBQ, not strip bar!�



Taryn stopped in the middle of pulling off her jeans. “What?� she asked, glancing down at herself. She looked back up at Krista, comprehending Jay’s concern, and asked, “Are they gonna freak over a bathing suit?�



Krista hastily assured her that it was fine, feeling a twinge of guilt that she had somehow painted such a bad picture of her parents. It was sweet that the Hoffa clan was being so careful, trying to make a good impression on them.



Taryn stuck her tongue out at Jay and pulled her jeans the rest of the way off. She walked to the edge of the pool and dove in, slicing cleanly into the water. When she emerged she looked at Krista. “You coming?�



“Uh, yeah.� Krista walked to the chairs and began to remove her shirt, her movements slow. She had always been a little self-conscious about her body. Her swimming outfit was nowhere near as skimpy as Taryn’s, yet she still felt almost naked without her usual baggy clothes to cover her up.



She finished undressing and eased into the water. She was surprised to find that it was slightly warm from the sun, and she glided easily through. Jay jumped in, creating waves, and she leaned back until she was floating, riding the gentle surges. The sound of the glass doors sliding open attracted her attention as the adults re-emerged from the house, drinks in hand. They were chatting and seemed to be getting along. The sight put Krista’s nerves at ease; she wanted them to like Mrs. Hoffa. Cheryl, she chided herself.



Turning her attention back to the pool’s occupants, she saw Taryn swimming towards the blue rubber chair that was floating nearby. As she passed Krista she stopped and whispered, just loud enough so she could hear, “Oh look. They drink too,� gesturing with her head towards Krista’s parents, then pulled herself up onto the raft with ease and settled onto her back.



Krista did something that surprised her. She reached up with both hands and pushed as hard as she could on the surface of the raft, causing it to flip over and sending Taryn into the water with a large splash. When Taryn emerged, sputtering, she was greeted with hoots and howls of laughter from Jay, her mother, and even the Evans, while Krista had moved a safe distance away, watching, gripping the edge of the pool in laughter.



“Good for you, Krista!� Mrs. Hoffa cheered. “I’m sure she deserved it.�



“Thanks mom,� Taryn said, climbing back onto the raft. She settled back in, casting one last suspicious (albeit good-humored) look Krista’s way before laying down.



Mrs. Hoffa went to check out the grill, and called to Jay, “The coals are about done. Should we start grilling?�



“Okay.� Jay started to make his way back, clearly not eager to stop swimming yet.



“Why don’t you stay in the water, Jay?� Mr. Evans stood up from his chair and strolled over to the grill. “I know a little about grilling. If you guys want to swim, I don’t mind taking over.�



“Really? Are you sure?� Mrs. Hoffa asked.



“Absolutely. Go ahead. You too, Janice,� he urged.



“Well, thanks. That’s very nice of you.� Mrs. Hoffa smiled at him, and showed him the cooler where the meat was being held before hurrying back to the chairs to set down her drink. “Make way, you guys. Royalty’s coming,� she announced, climbing down the pool’s ladder.



“Thanks, Mr. Evans!� Jay called. Mr. Evans smiled and waved it off. Mrs. Evans went to her husband and gave him a small peck on the cheek before joining the others.



At Mrs. Hoffa’s suggestion, Mr. Evans retrieved two more floating chairs from the pool shed and placed them in the water for the women to recline on so that everyone could relax and chat comfortably. The adults settled in and began to feel each other out.



“So, Krista tells us you’re a lawyer,� Mrs. Evans started.



“I am. I work for a firm in Phoenix.�



“Oh. What kind of law do you practice?�



“Corporate law.� Mrs. Hoffa laughed as the Evans nodded their heads politely. “Yeah, it’s not that exciting to anyone except other corporate lawyers. And sometimes, not even to us. What about you? You just moved to Alexander, right? What brought you here?�



“Opportunity,� Mrs. Evans explained. She went into the story surrounding the family’s relocation, which Krista promptly tuned out, having heard it several times already. The teenagers hung around for a bit, feigning interest in the subjects their parents were discussing. Krista wanted to laugh out loud at the ritual of conversation. Ask a question, get an answer that means nothing to you, nod your head sagely, insert “Oohhh� here, or “Uh-huh� if you prefer, and let awkward silence set in until you came up with the next dumb question. She glanced at Jay and Taryn and saw that they appeared to be bored as well. In unspoken consensus the teens began to drift towards the other end of the pool and were soon engaged in a lively discussion of music



Mr. Evans tended the grill while conversing with his wife and their neighbor, and before long the smell of grilled meat was wafting in the air. After a short while he announced that the burgers were getting close to done.



“Okay. Taryn, Jay, help me carry the food out and set the table,� Mrs. Hoffa said as she floated towards the ladder.



“Oh please, allow me to help� Mrs. Evans offered, and followed her out of the pool.



“You’re our guests, and we already have Bill working the grill for us.�



“Really, I’d love to help,� Mrs. Evans insisted.



Cheryl shrugged her acquiescence and led the way to their towels. They dried off and tied the towels around their waists before heading off to the kitchen. “Why don’t you guys make sure the table’s set,� Cheryl called back to her children. Krista led the way out of the pool and over to their towels. She wrung her shorts out as best as she could, and slipped her dry t-shirt on over her tank top.



“I’m gonna go change,� Jay announced, plucking at his soaking shorts, and headed towards the house.



Krista waited for Taryn to get dressed and lead her in setting the table. She tried not to watch too closely as the other girl slipped her jeans on over her bikini bottoms and left her shirt on the chair, apparently happy to walk around in her bikini top. When she was done she turned to Krista and stopped.



Why is she staring at me? Krista wondered, until Taryn said, “Aren’t you gonna be uncomfortable in those? They’re soaked.� She looked down at herself and almost groaned out loud in embarrassment. The wet material of her shorts clung to her thighs, and her wet tank top was beginning to make a faint outline as it started to soak through her dry shirt as well.



“Yeah, I guess so,� she admitted sheepishly.



“Come on.� Taryn grabbed her arm and dragged her through the house. Krista willingly followed, shrugging at her mother’s questioning glance when they passed by the kitchen. She tromped up the stairs behind Taryn, her heart starting to thump loudly as she became increasingly aware that she might very well be headed to the Inner Sanctum- Taryn’s bedroom.



Taryn opened a door at the end of the hall and ushered her inside, leaving her near the door as she began rummaging through one of her dresser drawers. Krista allowed her eyes to roam the room and take in new knowledge about her crush. She recognized a number of titles on her bookshelf, and saw a few that she had been meaning to read but had never gotten around to. Her gaze flickered to the computer desk in the corner, and the Calvin and Hobbes screen saver made her grin. The bed was larger than hers and covered in a forest green blanket with three or four huge pillows at the head. She noticed the notebook lying open on the bed and wondered if it was schoolwork or lyrics. Her gaze continued to travel, taking in the posters on the wall of bands she recognized, and pausing at the open window. She could hear her parents and Mrs. Hoffa chatting. She looked across their backyard and as her eyes landed on the clear view of her own bedroom her thoughts of earlier came back to her with a shock. She involuntarily stepped further into the room, her mouth open in surprise. She blushed as she thought of the things she could have been caught doing. And she never closed her drapes. Not that Taryn would be looking at her anyway, but still…She vowed right then and there to cease her daydream-induced stares at Taryn’s window.



She wrenched her eyes away from the view to find that Taryn was standing next to her, waiting patiently with a pile of clothes in her hands. “Here. You can borrow these,� she offered.



Krista took the clothing, muttering, “Thank you.�



“No worries. I’ll---“ A knock at the door interrupted her. “Hold on a sec!� she yelled. Turning back to Krista she said, “Um, I’m gonna go downstairs, let you change in private.� She flashed her a smile and slipped out the door.



Krista stood in uncertainty for a moment before turning her attention to the bundle she was holding. She thumbed through the stack of clothing, seeing that there was more than just a pair of shorts in the bundle. As her fingers touched the soft material of a bra, she had a moment where she thought she might fall over. Was she really standing in Taryn’s bedroom, holding her bra? Was this for real? Was the universe intent on torturing her? With a sigh she decided yes, and started to undress.

“What are you guys up to?� Jay asked his sister after she had closed the door behind her.



“Giving Krista some clothes.�



He chuckled. “Damn. You noticed that too, huh? Who knew she had such a smoking body underneath all those clothes?�



Who knew indeed. “Perve,� she said out loud, and swatted him on the arm. In truth she had also noticed that Krista’s wet clothing had revealed more curves than she would have guessed the girl had. Not that she would admit that to Jay. Something about standing around with your brother talking about another woman’s body seemed…wrong. On so many levels. She shook her head at the thought and started down the stairs.



“Hold up,� Jay said, moving to block her on the stairs. She stopped and looked at him. “So, you took Krista with you guys to Cuppa last night?�



“Yeah.� She resisted the urge to ask how he’d found out. It sounded suspiciously secretive to her own ears. Besides, she could very well guess where he’d gotten the information. It wasn’t as if she had told their mom not to mention it.



“You think you could spare your little brother some consideration?� At Taryn’s blank look, he sighed. “You could’ve asked me to come to.�



“But you already had plans,� Taryn reasoned. “And besides, her parents…�



“I’m working on that tonight. They’ll want me to marry her by the time we’re done. But you could be a good sister and help me out a little with the rest. Last night could’ve been like a double-date if you’d have invited me.�



“Jay, I told you before, if you’re gonna insist on chasing after her, you’ll have to do it on your own. I’m not comfortable with fooling her into going out with you.�



He glared at her. “I’m not fooling her into anything. I like her, and I just want a chance to go out with her, show her a good time. And it’s not like you’ve never helped me out before. What’s your probl---�



He stopped abruptly as Taryn’s door opened and Krista came out. She stopped short when she saw them both standing on the stairs, and smiled nervously. “Hey guys.�



“Hey. We should head down now,� Taryn replied, and turned to head down the stairs, Jay and Krista following behind her.

Conversation had taken a short hiatus and was replaced with satisfied groans and murmurs of appreciation for the feast that they had in front of them. Mrs. Hoffa seemed to have gone a little overboard in her preparations as there was enough food heaped onto the serving platters to feed four full-sized families. Mrs. Evans shook her head in disbelief and exclaimed again, “This is an amazing amount of food! You didn’t have to go through so much trouble.�



“Family Pantry,� Taryn said. Mrs. Evans looked at her, confused. “You should be thanking Family Pantry.�



“Oh.� Mrs. Evans stammered, not quite sure how to react. Krista stifled a giggle and studiously avoided eye contact with Jay and Taryn, knowing she wouldn’t be able to hold out if she did.



Mrs. Hoffa sighed at her oldest child; she did love to stir things up. “Yes, Family Pantry is a wonderful grocery store that also does catering out of their cooked foods department.�



The Evans nodded appreciatively. “You’ll have to tell us where it is,� Mr. Evans commented. “It’s really delicious.�



“Thanks,� Mrs. Hoffa laughed. “And you make excellent hamburgers.�



Jay nodded in agreement. “These are great,� he added around a mouthful of food.



Krista had to agree. Her father was a master griller. She picked up her burger, laden with onions and cheese and BBQ sauce just as she liked it. She glanced around at everyone else munching contentedly. She hated eating in front of people (and it didn’t help that one of those people was someone she was attracted to) and her burger was going to be mess. She turned it around in her hands, trying to think of a good angle from which to tackle it.



She found a spot that seemed to offer the least amount of mess and took a cautious nibble. It was good, but she essentially got all meat and sauce, without the cheese or onion. Man, if I were alone…She started to make another attempt and stopped, feeling as if she were being watched. She looked up and met two pairs of eyes, crinkled in amusement. She returned the gazes with a questioning one of her own. Jay opened his mouth wide and took a giant bite of his burger, chewing with his mouth open and a large smile on his face.



“Oh Jay,� Mrs. Hoffa chided. She glanced nervously at the Evans, but they had little time to react before Taryn followed suit, BBQ sauce dripping down her chin as she struggled to chew her enormous mouthful. Krista started to laugh so hard that she almost dropped her burger. Here were these two people, these really cool people, the kind of people who wouldn’t have given her the time of day at her old school, and they were going out of their way to make her feel comfortable. They actually cared about her comfort. The thought brought her great comfort and she took a bite, a real bite, out of her burger. This time she got all the flavors at once.

The sun was beginning to set on the little gathering. The large citronella candles that the Hoffas kept in their backyard to ward off mosquitoes were lit, and the crew sat once again their lounge chairs, noticeably more relaxed than before their meal. They sat all six in a loose circle, with the adults chatting amicably at one end of the circle, and the young people chatting at the other. Jay and Taryn were regaling Krista with stories about their classmates, with a few tips and pointers here and there about surviving at Alexander High. Their parents were sharing stories of their children's misadventures, and swapping theories about how they keep their offspring out of trouble.



“There's so much out there these days that kids can get into,� Mrs. Evans was lamenting. “I mean, without some sort of constructive outlet, they just find the wrong ways to express themselves or deal with…everything.�



“Hobbies are really helpful,� Mrs. Hoffa added. “It was really important to me that Jay and Taryn develop some sort of hobby, something to keep them busy.�



“Music's a good one,� Mr. Evans said. “I was excited when Krista showed an interest in learning an instrument.�



“How long has she been playing?�



“Since she was 13. She has a natural talent for it.�



“She gets it from her father,� Mrs. Evans said, giving her husband an admiring look. “He plays the piano.�



“Oh, a musical family.� Mrs. Hoffa smiled.



“I'm afraid the musical genes are strictly from his side of the gene pool. I think I might be officially tone deaf,� Mrs. Evans admitted. “But, you must be proud to have two talented musicians in your family.�



“I don't know where they get it from,� Mrs. Hoffa said. “Neither me nor my husband were very musical. But Taryn's been singing since she was a kid, and Jay has always been into music too. I wasn't the least bit surprised when they told me they were forming a band together. I'd figured it was only a matter of time.�



“I'm excited to hear them all play together,� Mr. Evans said. “I almost wish your basement wasn't soundproofed, just so I can listen in on rehearsals. I'm dying of curiosity.�



“Hmm, you might be the only neighbors who feel that way. Before I got the basement done, the only thing people were dying of around here was annoyance. I was afraid I was going to be forced to move.�



“So, how long have they been a band?� Mrs. Evans questioned.



“Umm…Taryn,� Mrs. Hoffa called for her daughter's attention, momentarily stalling their children's conversation. “How long have you guys been playing as a band?�



“A little over a year, I guess. Why?�



“We were just curious,� Mrs. Evans explained. “We're excited to hear you guys play. Do you usually perform a lot?�



“Yeah, from time to time,� Taryn said. Krista stiffened, fearing the direction the conversation seemed to be going in. Taryn glanced at her as if reading her thoughts.



“Oh good. Do you play at school functions?� Mrs. Evans asked, oblivious to the looks the teenagers were sharing.



“Yeah,� she answered.



“Krista said you were recording a demo at some point,� Mr. Evans pointed out.



“Yeah, we are,� Jay answered. “The clubs we’re trying to play at want one. And it’s not a bad idea to keep it updated anyway.�





“Clubs,� Mrs. Evans repeated. “Like bars?�



“Um, sort’ve..but not…really?� Jay glanced uncertainly at Taryn, sensing that maybe he had just tread on bad ground.



Mr. Evans looked from Jay to Taryn in confusion. “Times must have really changed since I was in high school. Last I checked they didn’t let underage kids into bars.� He peered at them closely. “Unless you’re not really teenagers,� he added, his tone suggesting that he might not be entirely joking.



Taryn laughed and stepped up to the plate. “No, actually, we just lucked out. Our old bassist knew some people, and he was able to get us some gigs in local clubs. And they were willing to have us because they knew him and most importantly,� here she glanced at her mother and smiled cheekily, “our mommy brings us.�



Seeing the Evans’ confused looks, Mrs. Hoffa jumped in. “I just decided that if this was something they were really into doing, and they were willing to put as much time and energy into as they were, I could support them in this way. Y’know, it’s really a great way to build a fan base, to get noticed, to get the attention of someone important…� She trailed off.



Krista’s parents glanced at each other. It was hard to tell what they were thinking, and Krista tensed slightly. She would die of embarrassment if her parents made a scene. Her father surprised her by turning to Jay and Taryn and asking, “So, you’re really serious about music? Is this a career path for you then?� They both answered quickly in the affirmative. He smiled. “I remember wanting to be a professional jazz pianist when I was young.�



“Unfortunately for Bill, he had an ear for music, but not necessarily the talent,� Mrs. Evans interjected. She gave her husband an amused smile, which he returned. It was clearly a long-running joke between them.



“Yeah, thank God I got my degree, ‘Just in case.’ Although the computer business these days seems about as risky as trying to be a rock star.�



“Oh, you do computers?� Jay asked.



“Yes. I’m opening a repair and retail shop downtown. Just signed the lease on the building this week.�



“Cool. That’s what I’m going to college for as my back-up. In case it takes a while to get famous,� Jay added jokingly.



“Really? What area of computers are you considering?�



“I’m really digging my programming class this year so far, so that’s my first choice. I like that better than hardware stuff.�



“Townsend offers programming classes?� Mr. Evans asked, his eyes widening. He looked at Krista. “Dale didn’t have that, did they? You should make sure to take at least one while you have a chance and it’s free.� He turned back to Jay and began to query him on the course material. To Krista’s surprise, Jay seemed to be enjoy talking with him about it.



Mrs. Evans recognized that her husband had gone off on a subject that he could talk about for hours, so she turned to the older Hoffa sibling and asked, “How about you, Taryn? You’re a…�



“Senior,� Taryn supplied.



“Right. What happens for you after graduation? College?�



“No. I’m not really sure what’s going to happen. Probably just work for a while.�



Mrs. Evans simply nodded and said, “Hmm. It’s good to know what you really want before investing the time and money college requires.�



Krista and Taryn looked at Mrs. Evans in surprise. Neither had expected that reaction from her. Krista had yet to really talk with her parents about college- she had two years to go after all, and she didn’t know how she felt about it one way or the other- but she had been under the impression that they expected her to go. It had never occurred to her that they might be willing to consider alternatives.



“Wow. Will you be my new mommy?� Taryn joked, shooting a look at her mother.



“Refills on drinks, anyone?� Mrs. Hoffa asked, starting to stand.



Taryn put her hand out to stop her. “I got it.� She rose quickly and retrieved the drink tray from the picnic table. She made a quick circuit of the small gathering, taking the proffered glasses, and disappeared into the house.



Mrs. Hoffa turned to Krista’s mother and asked, “So, how much of Alexander have you gotten to see? And have you taken an opportunity to explore Phoenix?� She began to regale them with information on sightseeing in the area, giving them the names and locations of several must-see landmarks. Soon both of Krista’s parents were engrossed, asking question after question, and Krista could see how she was going to be spending the next few weekends. Taryn and Jay cast her sympathetic glances, and then dived in alongside their mother, offering up their own suggestions while sending devilish looks Krista’s way. When they cheerily suggested to her parents that they check out the Museum of Natural Science, she vowed revenge.

The last to exit the gate, Mrs. Evans turned to thank their hostess once more. “Thank you again for a lovely dinner.� She extended her hand, intending to shake Mrs. Hoffa’s hand, just as Mrs. Hoffa stepped forward, intending to initiate a less formal embrace. What resulted was an awkward combination of a handshake and a hug, both women clasping each other’s hand and leaning just enough for their shoulders to touch. The uncomfortable exchange was repeated with Mr. Evans. Krista bit back a laugh as Taryn and Jay smacked their foreheads in exaggerated exasperation behind the adults’ backs, ad surprised herself by gamely stepping forward and embracing Mrs. Hoffa when her turn came. “Bye,� she said simply to Jay and Taryn, who replied in kind.



“I’ll be sure to get you that info about the park tomorrow,� Mrs. Hoffa assured Krista’s parents as they turned and headed for the sidewalk.



“Thank you,� Mr. Evans called back.



They gave a final wave before starting the short trek around the corner and back to their own home. Her father finally broke the silence as they rounded the corner by commenting, “Well, that was fun.�



Her mother nodded in agreement. “Yes. Cheryl seems like a very nice person. It’s a shame about her husband, but she seems to be doing really well. Although,� she added, her voice lowering, “there seemed to be some tension about the college thing.� She looked at her daughter encouragingly.



Krista almost laughed out loud. Her mother was such a gossip. “I don’t know anything about it, mom. That’s the first I’d heard of it.�



“Oh,� her mother said, disappointed. Not to be derailed for too long, she turned back to her husband and continued discussing the evening. Krista listened on in anticipation as they chatted about the food and the Hoffas. She was waiting for her parents to get to it, to go ahead and shoot down any hopes she had had about being able to perform with Q. She was still waiting for them to broach the subject when they reached their front door. She stood just inside the doorway, watching them move about the living room. Her father was checking the voicemail, jotting down messages; her mother was turning on lights and straightening cushions. This is it, she thought, and sat in a nearby chair.



“You wanna see if there’s a good movie on tonight?� her mother asked her father, picking up the tv guide.



“Maybe,� he answered, shrugging.



Krista stared open-mouthed at her parents, her face a mask of confusion and disbelief. At this point it seemed unlikely that they were doing anything other than trying to torture her, making her wait it out. Against her better judgment (play it cool, Krista), her mouth opened of its own volition. “What are you guys doing?�



They turned to her in surprise. “What do you mean?� her father returned.



She rolled her eyes and stood, her arms flying out at her sides in frustration. “When are we going to talk about…“ She trailed off, her survival instinct still fighting to keep her from diving into the topic like a kamikaze teen, but she couldn’t fight it. She braced herself and continued. “Look, I know you were there for the conversation, and I know you didn’t mysteriously block out all reference to clubs, so…�



“So, what?� her father asked, seeming genuinely confused.



“So what do you think?!� Krista asked, her voice almost at a yell. The suspense was killing her, and she was swimming in unfamiliar waters. It wasn’t like her parents to beat around the bush.



Her parents looked at each other in astonishment, “Are you serious?� her mother asked.



“Yeah,� Krista replied, her voice quieter now. A feeling had started- an unpleasant, hopeless feeling. She suddenly understood why they hadn’t bothered to bring it up, and her mother’s next words confirmed her thought.



“Krista, there’s absolutely no way we’re going to allow our 16 year-old daughter to play in a bar.� Her mother spoke the words as if she were talking to a slow-witted five-year-old, and although Krista felt very small at that moment, she wasn’t about to give up just yet.



“Come on,� she argued, struggling to keep a whine out of her voice, “didn’t you hear a word they said? Cheryl goes along with them. It’s not like it’s unsupervised or something.�



“We did hear that,� Janice said in that same infuriating tone, “and that may be fine and well for Mrs. Hoffa,� here she gave Krista a pointed look, “and it may be the way she chooses to raise her children, and I’m not one to criticize another’s parenting, but… it’s not the way we do things around here.�



“You mean, you’re just dismissing the idea without any discussion. It’s a done deal,� Krista stated, her voice pitched high in disbelief.



Bill cocked his head to one side, regarding his daughter. “We didn’t think we needed to discuss anything. I can’t believe that you’d think we’d actually consider it.�



“What am I going to tell them?!� Her parents stared at her blankly. She decided to try one more tactic. “It’s not even that many gigs. It’s like one or two a year or something.�



“All the more reason that it shouldn’t be a big deal if you can’t play those one or two a year.� She stared open-mouthed at her father, her disappointment etched into her face. Of all people---He was a musician; he’d played in clubs at her age, so she had thought that he would at least be somewhat understanding.



In a show of parental telepathy he added, “I know I played out a little when I was younger, but times are different, and I have to approach this as a parent, not a musician.�



“You could’ve at least been sensitive about it,� she said, not looking at him.



He winced. “I’m sorry, Button.�



“You’re 16, Kris. There’s really no question,� her mother said firmly, putting the final nail in the coffin.



She gazed at her parents for a moment before sighing and heading up to her room. She fumed as she headed down the hall, resisting the strong urge to stomp her feet, and once inside her room, to slam the door. Instead she shut it quietly and sat on her bed, looking at the poster of the band Sapphire that her friends had gotten her for her birthday last year. As she stared at it, tracing the lines of the photograph, she made up her mind. She was not going to tell the others about this setback. They had said it was only a couple of shows, if they even got those. So, she would wait. If they didn’t get the gigs, great. If they did…she would find a way.

Taryn dropped the overflowing laundry basket with a huff and hurried to the hall table. Throwing a murderous glare at the study door behind which her mother was immersed in work, she picked up the receiver and answered with an impatient “Hello?�



“Hi, is Taryn there?�



“Speaking.�



“Hey, it’s Marshall.�



Her face darkened as she prepared to unleash a torrent of verbal abuse on him. Calling to ask her to work for him today would be the last straw of her already unpleasant morning. She was on laundry duty for the third week in a row, she had a pile of homework to do that she had put off all weekend long, her mother was refusing to answer any of the calls that had been streaming in that morning despite the fact that they had all been for her, and now this. “There is no way I’m coming in! I have way---“



“Whoa there, Angry Smurf,� he interrupted. “I’m not calling to ask you to work. Jeez.�



“Well…what do you want?� she asked, her voice taking a slightly lighter tone but losing none of its impatience.



He laughed. “I just wanted to know if you could give me Krista’s phone number.�



Taryn blinked in surprise. “Krista’s number? Why?� she asked before she could stop herself. She rushed to cover. “I just don’t know if I feel comfortable handing out her number. You know?�



“Oh yeah, that’s cool. Well, could you give her my number then? Like, soon? As in this morning?�



“Alright, I’ll see if she’s home. Are you asking her out or something?� she teased.



“I was maybe gonna see if she wanted to get together later, see a movie or something,� he answered noncommittally.



“Um, TJ and I are gonna watch a movie a little later, around four or so. If you wanted to come and bring her, that would be cool.� She frowned as the words left her mouth, her forehead creasing in her confusion. Had she just invited Marshall to bring Krista to her house…on a date? She was supposed to spend a romantic afternoon of snuggling on the couch with TJ, and she was certain that he would not be all that thrilled about the unexpected company, but the idea of Krista going out alone with Marshall didn’t sit well with her. How well do we know him, anyway? No sooner than she had thought the question, she kicked back into sanity and realized that she was over-reacting. Krista was certainly capable of handling her own social life. “Actually, maybe it would be bett---“



“That could be cool,� he answered. She thought she heard a hint of laughter in his voice. “But have her call me, ‘kay? You’ve got the number?�



“Yeah, it’s on my schedule. I’ll give it to her.� He thanked her and they said their good-byes. She stood in the hall for a moment, thinking about the situation she had created. TJ was going to be angry, but once she explained she was sure he’d understand. Marshall and Krista were going to join them for their movie- on a date. She had no idea what Krista’s past romantic experiences had been, as Marshall had pointed out, but she had a suspicion that Krista was more novice than pro. It would therefore only be fitting if Taryn were there to help her through this and give her a little back-up. Her rationale in place, she hoisted the laundry basket into her arms and headed up the stairs to put it away before she went over to Krista’s.

The mid-morning sun beat down on the back of Krista’s neck, beginning a slow attack unfettered by sunscreen. She had not yet gotten accustomed to the idea of needing sunscreen in the middle of September. She shifted her neck to loosen the kinks that had formed from sitting in the same position for so long. She had been there for a little over an hour doing her English assignment, which was to read the first three chapters of Lord of the Flies. She was already on chapter five and knew she needed to start on her science reading, but she was too engrossed in the story.



The crick in her neck grew until it demanded her full attention, and she threw her head back with a grimace and rolled her head around on her shoulders, her eyes closed. She returned her head to the upright position, opened her eyes, and almost fell out of her seat. Taryn was standing in front of her, watching her.



Taryn covered her mouth in a useless attempt to hide her laughter at Krista’s flustered flailing. “Sorry,� she choked out from behind her hand. “I didn’t mean to scare you. Your dad let me in.�



“S’okay,� Krista muttered, an embarrassed flush crawling up her neck. She tried to regain her composure, and looked up at Taryn. The other girl was silhouetted by the sun and Krista stood to see her better. It was then that it hit her: Taryn was standing in her backyard for some reason. Why was Taryn in her backyard? “What’s up?� she asked, attempting a nonchalant tone.



“Not much. Just came over to relay a message. Marshall wanted me to give you his phone number.� She handed over a folded slip of paper.



The act struck Krista as a little grade-school, but she took the slip of paper. “Okay.�



“I think he wants to ask you out,� Taryn volunteered. She shoved her hands into her back pockets and began to rock back and forth on the balls of her feet. “Um, I invited him to come over and watch a movie with me and TJ later. With you too. Just so you know.�



“Okay,� Krista repeated, more slowly this time. A date. With Marshall. Now where’d she get that idea, she wondered. Is that what he said? “Thanks for bringing it over.� She smiled.



“Sure,� Taryn said with a shrug. “No problem.� They stared at each other, unsure of what to say next. Taryn swung a limp hand in the direction of the book that was laying facedown in the grass next to Krista’s lawn chair. “Whatcha readin’?�



“Lord of the Flies.�



“Oh yeah. I remember that. Good book.�



“Yeah. I’m liking it a lot.�



“You’re so good to be working. I’ve got a pile of homework that I need to do,� Taryn lamented, rolling her eyes. “I was kinda hoping senior year would cut me a little slack, but…� She shrugged again. “Good thing I’m not going to college.�



“Yeah,� Krista said lamely, not quite sure how to respond.



“So,� Taryn said, changing the subject, “How did things go with your folks when you got home? They bitch you out?�



“No, um, everything’s cool.� She didn’t meet Taryn’s eyes as she told the bold lie.



“Cool. Good.� Taryn stood nodding her head, and glanced around the yard.



Krista watched her neighbor, a little baffled by her behavior. She never would have taken Taryn for a twitchy-type, but she seemed ill-at-ease. She’s probably got stuff to do. TJ’s probably there already and she wants to get going. “Um, I’d better go call Marshall,� she said, giving the slip of paper a quick wave.



“Oh. Yeah. Okay. I’m gonna go try to get some homework done. You’ve inspired me,� she joked, gesturing towards Krista’s book. They shared a small, uncomfortable laugh and started back towards the house. She walked Taryn to the front door where they said quick goodbyes. “Maybe I’ll see you later,� Taryn added before she left.



“Okay,� Krista replied, not at all sure that she would.



Once she had closed the door behind Taryn, she stood for a moment contemplating the scrap of paper upon which Taryn had scribbled Marshall’s phone number. She hadn’t expected him to try and get in touch with her, but she wasn’t unhappy about it. He seemed cool enough, definitely fun, and if he wanted to be friends she didn’t see the harm in it. In fact, she realized as her mind got into the idea, it would be nice to have a friend in Alexander that she could be honest with, the way she had been with Diana. That thought in mind, she hurried over to the phone and dialed the number. Marshall picked up on the third ring, and after brief “hellos� and “how are yous� they discussed the plan for the evening. Marshall was in favor of joining Taryn and TJ for a movie, which surprised Krista, and disappointed her a little. She wasn’t sure she was ready for another night of watching them interact. They weren’t that bad, her inner voice contradicted. I’m just jealous.



“Well, if you really want to…� she said.



“It’ll be fun. And it’s a good excuse to get an invite to Taryn’s.�



“Aw, I see. You’re using this as a means of gaining access to Taryn’s social circle.�



“Don’t be like that,� he cajoled. “Come on. I’ll meet you there at four.�



“Fine. I’ll see you at four. Should be a blast,� she said, her voice laced with sarcasm. She hung up and stood for a moment thinking about the coming afternoon. It was far from perfect. Another event where she could watch Taryn and TJ doing their couple thing. Big fun. And God knew what sort of interaction she and Taryn would have. Sometimes they went together so naturally. Others, like this afternoon, with Taryn clearly not wanting to be there…



“Kris?�



She turned around at the sudden voice behind her to find her father standing at the foot of the stairs, watching her. “Hey dad.�



“Hey.� He stepped off the last stair and approached her. “Who was that?� he asked, attempting a casual tone.



“Just a friend. I’ve been invited to Taryn’s to watch a movie later.�



“Um…who’s the friend?�



Krista held back a sigh as she avoided her father’s eyes. The path of the conversation was clear, and it was one that she wasn’t fond of. “Yes, it was a boy, his name is Marshall, no, he’s not my boyfriend.�



“Oh. Okay. Cause if you were seeing someone---“



“You’d be the third to know,� she said, cutting him off. “I’m gonna go read some more.� With that she disappeared through the door and out into the backyard.

Taryn flipped from channel to channel, the remote dangling limply in her hand as she lay in the crook of TJ’s arm. TJ stroked her hair as she exhaled and rolled her eyes in frustration as she passed yet another court show.



“This shit is awful. I don’t see how people watch it,� she complained.



“Why don’t we just put the movie in… or we could turn the TV off altogether?� TJ suggested as his hand lingered at the base of her neck. He brushed the fine hairs there, his other hand coming up to caress her face. Taryn favored him with an impish smile and was moving closer to accept his coming kiss when the doorbell rang.



“Oops, one sec,� she said as she jumped up from the couch, ignoring his puzzled glance, and hurried to open the front door.



“Hey, you came after all,� she exclaimed, ushering Marshall and Krista inside.



“Yeah,� Krista said.



“Come on,� Taryn said, slapping Marshall lightly on the arm to divert his attention. He looked as though he might break his neck as he looked every which way like a greedy child in a toy store. She led the way through the hall and back into the living room, where a confused TJ slowly stood to his feet.



“What’s up, man?� Marshall greeted as he made his way to the sofa and plopped down on one end.



“Uh, hey.� TJ responded to Marshall, but he kept his gaze on Taryn, his expression puzzled.



“You remember Krista, right?� Taryn asked, waving a hand at the girl.



“Yeah. Hey.� He continued to stare at Taryn, clearly awaiting an answer to his unspoken question. Taryn continued to ignore him and set about making her guests comfortable.



“Anyone need anything? Drink, food…�



“Yeah, you got Coke or something?� Marshall asked.



“Yeah. Krista?�



“Whatever. Juice, if you have it,� she answered. She hadn’t moved from her position in the doorway.



“We have different kinds of juice. You wanna come pick one out?� Taryn offered.



“That’s okay. Whatever you bring’ll be fine.� Taryn shrugged and started for the kitchen.



“I’ll come with you,� TJ offered, and followed her.



Marshall gestured towards an armchair. “Have a seat,� he offered, smiling.



Krista moved to the indicated chair and perched on its edge. “I don’t think TJ wants us to be here,� she whispered to him. “Did you see the way he looked at us?�



“Nah, he’s just weird.� Marshall seemed unconcerned as he grabbed the remote from the floor and began to flip channels. “This TV is huge!�



Krista looked at him incredulously; how could he be so oblivious to the vibes TJ was giving off? She wished she could hear the conversation she was sure was being carried on in the kitchen. As she imagined it her body started to lean in that direction, and she sat back guiltily as TJ and Taryn returned, drinks in hand.



“Here ya’ go,� Taryn announced, playing cheery hostess as she handed drinks to Marshall and Krista. She plopped down on the couch next to Marshall and grabbed the remote from him. TJ stood looking at Marshall for a long moment before the other got the hint and moved off the couch. “Sorry man,� he said as he repositioned himself on the floor at the foot of Krista’s chair. She lowered herself into the chair proper, resigned to what appeared to be an awkward situation- whether or not Marshall saw it. TJ reclaimed his former position, throwing his arm around Taryn and pulling her in close to him.



“This is a TJ pick, so don’t blame me if it’s bad,� she announced before pointing the remote at the TV and pushing the play button.



“As long as it’s not some gushy romance,� Marshall said.



An hour later it was clear that gushy romance was the last thing on anyone’s mind as pain-filled shrieks poured from the system’s speakers in realistic stereo surround sound. Krista was covering her eyes with her hands, recoiling in horror at the scenes of gratuitous violence in the B-grade horror flick they were watching. Marshall and TJ were both craning as close as they could to the set, as if they hoped to get some of the blood actually spattered on them. She glanced at the couch where Taryn was apparently attempting to bury herself inside of TJ’s shirt. Guess she’s not a fan either.



Krista returned her attention to the screen just in time to see someone’s head pop off. She couldn’t contain the squeak that emitted from her throat, and sunk lower into the armchair, attempting to hide from the bloodbath. She caught movement out of the corner of her eye and looked up to see Taryn coming to kneel next to her.



“Come on,� Taryn whispered, and grabbed Krista’s elbow to help her out of the chair. Krista accepted the contact and followed. Although she was confused by the sudden move, she was smiling inside as well. It was the second time in as many days that she had been led away by Taryn without warning. It’s like she knows I won’t say no.



“Where’re you going?� TJ asked, annoyed.



“Girl stuff,� was Taryn’s short reply. Krista didn’t dare look at Marshall; she was sure his expression would blow her cool, and she felt it very important at that moment to be cool. She let herself be propelled to the stairs, where Taryn paused. “I thought we’d just hang out in my room till the movie was over. You didn’t look like you were too into it.�



“Horror’s not really my thing,� Krista admitted.



“Didn’t think so,� Taryn commented as she turned and headed up the stairs. Krista followed, fighting to hide her grin. She was about to enter the sacred chamber again. This was quite possibly the best weekend of her life. “TJ knows I don’t dig that kind of thing either. God knows what he was thinking when he rented it.�



“Probably thinking that you would do exactly what you were doing.� The words shot out of Krista’s mouth before her censor could catch them. What the hell?! Her eyes widened in surprise at her audacity. She didn’t know TJ or Taryn well enough to make statements like that. She watched Taryn’s back as they continued up the stairs, waiting for her reaction- she hoped that her tone hadn’t betrayed the bitterness she had felt, watching them- but all Taryn did was laugh.



“I was thinking the same thing.�



They reached the top of the stairs and Taryn gestured towards her door. “Go on ahead. Gotta potty,� she said before ducking into the bathroom and shutting the door behind her. Krista stood uncertainly for a moment before moving. She opened the door to Taryn’s bedroom with care, as if expecting a monster to jump out from behind it. She walked inside and headed towards the corner with the overstuffed armchair. Textbooks were stacked in the seat, and she placed them on the floor next to the chair before sitting. She clasped her hands primly in front of her and sat straight up in the chair. She was unsure of what to do with herself as she waited. She contemplated skimming through one of the textbooks, but that would make her look nerdy. There was a bookshelf to her right that had non-school books, but would it be nosy to peruse those? She studied her nails for a second before deciding that it made her look nervy, and settled for gazing at a poster of tattoo art on the opposite wall, which was how Taryn found her when she returned.



“You into tattoos?� she asked.



“Um, not really. It’s interesting though.� She shrugged. “Are you?�



Taryn approached her and started to pull her shirt up. Krista’s mouth went dry, and for a wild moment she thought she was about to experience a fantasy come true. She snapped back to reality when the shirt stopped just above Taryn’s stomach, and she turned around to show Krista her back. Krista took a second to regain her composure and focused on the spot Taryn was pointing to. There a small, beautifully drawn black and white tattoo of a dragonfly, positioned slightly to the left of the small dent at the base of her spine. She leaned forward to better see it, till her face was mere inches from Taryn’s skin. Her hand lifted of its own accord, and at the last minute she stopped herself from touching the spot she was studying. If it had been anyone else maybe she would not have stopped, but it was Taryn. Her feelings were far too volatile to allow for that kind of intimacy. “That’s really cool,� she managed to say, leaning away from her.



“Thanks.� Taryn pulled down her shirt and turned back to face Krista. She lifted her leg and put her foot on the chair next to Krista’s leg, pulling her pant-leg up to reveal another tattoo, this one of a butterfly on her ankle.



“You’ve got a thing for flying animals,� Krista joked.



“Yeah, kinda.� Taryn pulled her pant-leg back down, and walked over to the bed. She flopped down onto her back, arms spread. “My ex-boyfriend did them.�



“Your ex-boyfriend was a tattooist?�



“That one was.� At Krista’s confused look, Taryn clarified, “I have a few ex-boyfriends.� Krista nodded. She was searching for an appropriate response when Taryn spoke again and saved her the trouble. “What about you?�



“What about me?�



“Did you leave any broken hearts in Staughton? I mean, you told me all about your friends and stuff, but you never mentioned any boyfriends.�



Krista looked away, suddenly engrossed by an errant thread in the arm of the chair. “No. No boyfriends.�



Taryn shook her head. “That’s amazing.�



Krista slunk a little lower in her chair thinking bitterly, Of course you think it’s amazing. How amazing that a girl could actually be interested in something besides boys.



“It’s just as well,� Taryn added, causing Krista to look up. “You’ve got so many opportunities knocking on your door here.�



“What do you mean?�



“Well, Marshall and Jay to name two.�



“Marshall,� Krista parroted, her eyes wide.



“Yeah.�



“Marshall and I aren’t- there- there’s no- why would you think that?�



“You guys seemed to hit it off at the record store and, duh,� she gestured at the floor, indicating downstairs, “he called looking for you, so I figured he’s interested.�



Krista made a snorting noise. “He’s definitely not interested, nothing going on there.�



“How can you be so sure?�



“Trust me. Marshall and I are just friends. Nothing going on there.�



Taryn gave her a disbelieving look. “Alright then,� she said, changing tracks, “there’s Jay. You can’t tell me he doesn’t like you. The question is…�



“I can’t talk to you about that,� Krista protested. “He’s your brother.�



“And there’s my answer.�



“No, I mean…� Krista paused, searching for a way to say what she wanted to without offending Taryn. “Jay’s cool, and everything, but…I’m not really into dating right now.�



Taryn leaned over, looking Krista in the eyes. “Seriously? That’s not some secret code that means ‘I think your brother’s a tool’, is it?�



Krista sat back a little, overwhelmed by the intensity she was inflecting behind her question. She didn’t know what had given Taryn the impression that it was a line, but she wasn’t sure she would have told her the truth at that point even if it had been. “Seriously. I mean, I like Jay, but not like that. I just…don’t date. I know, I’m a freak,� she said despairingly, wishing, not for the first time since she had arrived in Alexander, for the simple life back in Staughton, where she had already done her coming out to her friends. There was no Taryn -hell, there was nobody- but at least my friends knew who I was.



“No, you’re not,� Taryn rushed to assure her, leaning over to touch Krista’s knee for a moment. “I totally respect that. It’s probably a lifestyle I should adopt for awhile.�



“Why do you say that?� Krista asked, attempting to stay in the conversation although her mind was imagining that she could still feel the imprint of Taryn’s hand from that brief contact.



Taryn shook her head and leaned back again. “Like I said, I have a few exes.�



“But you have TJ now,� Krista reminded her. Her throat tried to close up and block the words. We’re being friends, and this is what friends do, she reminded herself, and vowed to keep her personal feelings out of it. She had a feeling that Taryn was about to open a rarely accessed door; she was honored, albeit a tad uncomfortable with the subject.



“I do. I do have TJ now, but…it’s not enough. It won’t last. There’s nothing there.� At Krista’s encouraging look, she continued. “There’s comfort, and stuff like that, but there’s no…emotional stuff. He doesn’t make my palms sweat or anything like that. Even sex isn’t that great. I mean…I kinda thought there was more to it, y’know?� Krista flushed and struggled to answer. Taryn watched her for a second before slapping herself on the forehead and exclaiming, “Oh! Sorry. You’re probably- and here I am, totally turning you off boys forever.�



It took an incredible act of willpower for Krista to not burst into gales of laughter. Oh, this is going to be good to tell Diana. “It’s okay. Really.�



“No, I mean, it’s not that way for everyone. You’ll probably meet some heartthrob-like guy and it’ll be all ‘hair blowing in the wind, throbbing manhood and gasping in pleasure’ stuff.� Krista gawked at her. “Sorry. Graphic. Anyway, I guess I mean that I’m pretty much the freak.�



“It’s okay,� Krista said. “Not that you’re a freak, cause you’re not. At all. I meant okay on the graphic. But again, you’re not a freak. TJ doesn’t do it for you. The other guys didn’t either. Maybe you just haven’t found the right guy.� She stopped, aware that she was leaning forward in her chair, she was trying so hard to convince Taryn. Look at me with the putting my feelings aside to be a friend, she enthused. But how weird. Here I am trying to convince the gorgeous, popular, straight girl that she’s not a freak. Me.



“You sound like my mom.�



“You’re lucky I like your mom or I might not have taken that well.� They laughed, the weight of their conversation dissipating as they did.



“Sorry for the serious conversation,� Taryn apologized. “That’s so not usually me. And why were we talking about me, anyway? I was totally trying to get the goods on you, Oh Mysterious One. I never talk like that…to anyone.�



“I don’t mind.�



“Well, as a reward for living through it, I will let you pick a musical selection,� Taryn announced, jumping off the bed and heading towards a trunk situated at the foot of her stereo. Krista stood slowly, trying to adjust to the rapid change of mood and conversation. She moved to where Taryn stood, and gaped when she opened the lid of the trunk and revealed two jam-packed rows of 45s.



“Wow. What kind of stuff is this?�



“Everything. Classic rock, jazz, blues, country even. My dad wasn’t a musician like yours is or anything, but he and mom did appreciate music, and working at the record store has its moments.� Krista settled on the floor by the trunk and reverently began to pull out album after album. She picked one, an out-of-print Rodney Hill album, and handed it to Taryn, who slid it onto the record player. “What track?�



“Any,� Krista answered, her eyes shining with excitement. Taryn set the needle down on the record, and settled next to Krista to listen, both girls leaning against the foot of the bed.



No more words passed between them as they listened to record after record. When one would end, either Taryn or Krista would reach for another and put it on, with no need for discussion. They sat in easy companionship, lulled into a zone of comfort by the music, and each taking an opportunity to be inside their heads- occupied with their thoughts, but still enjoying the company of the other.



The music continued, and neither girl had any idea how much time had passed until there was a quiet knock, followed by the door opening and TJ’s head peaking through the crack. “Am I interrupting girl stuff?�



Taryn got up from the floor slowly, and turned off the stereo, a slight frown on her face as she looked at him. “No,� she said without conviction. She flashed a small smile at Krista, and then, as if by magic, she performed another whirlwind transition and was suddenly public Taryn again- at least, that’s how Krista thought of it. “We’re done talking about you guys,� she added with a smirk, walked over to TJ to plant a loud kiss on his lips.



Krista stood awkwardly, unsure of her role in this new scenario. She saw Marshall standing behind TJ and caught his eye. He grinned at her, waggling his eyebrows lewdly. Yeah, definitely no worries that he’s interested in me. She started edging towards the door; the kissing between TJ and Taryn had increased. She couldn’t help but think of what Taryn had told her earlier, and wondered at her actions now.



She stopped moving when Taryn broke the kiss and caught her in her gaze. “Hey, where’re you going?�



“Um, I figured we were probably done here,� she said, indicating the tight grasp she and TJ had each other in.



“Well, you don’t have to go. We could do something else.� TJ cleared his throat meaningfully, and Taryn glanced at him in consternation.



“It’s cool,� Krista offered. “I’ve gotta get home anyway. Thanks for having me over.�



“Yeah, it was a ball,� Marshall piped in from the hall.



“Okay, well…See you tomorrow,� Taryn said apologetically, casting Krista a look of regret that left her confused. If she didn’t know better, she would have thought that Taryn really didn’t want her to leave. Her eyes focused again on Taryn’s arms clasped firmly around TJ’s neck, and she fell back to reality.



“Yeah. Bye,� she said.



“Later,� TJ added.



Krista was barely out the door before it closed behind her with a resounding thud, quickly followed by the sound of giggling. Krista and Marshall shared a look before heading down the stairs, Krista grimacing in disgust. “That was such a bad movie display of teenage hormones,� she commented bitterly. Marshall simply laughed, and she glared at him.



“What?� he asked in mock innocence.



“Don’t laugh. It’s not funny.�



“Sorry,� he said. They reached the front door and exited the Hoffa house. They stood on the lawn, not having made a plan for the next step. “So, can I come over to your place?�



Krista looked at him with suspicion. “You don’t ‘like me’ like me, do you?�



He looked at her, eyes wide. “Um, no offense, I mean you’re a cutie and all, but…no.�



“Good.� She gave a decisive nod, took his arm, and led him to her house.

Taryn and TJ were well on their way towards disrobing themselves entirely when there was a knock at her door. TJ groaned as Taryn tore her lips from his. “It could be my mom,� she explained before calling out, “Yeah?�



“It’s me.�



She rolled her eyes and waved her hand dismissively at the door. “Go away, Jay. I’m busy,� she called, more than a small hint in her tone. It apparently wasn’t as much of a hint as she had thought, as her door swung open and Jay barged into the room. He stopped short when he saw his sister laying on the bed with a disgruntled-looking TJ half on top of her.



“Oh, man, sorry,� Jay sputtered, his face flush with embarrassment.



“What the hell did you think ‘Go away’ meant?� Taryn asked.



“Sorry,� he said again. “I just…well, I saw Marshall and Krista leaving.� He waited, clearly wanting an explanation.



She looked at him in confusion. “They were watching a movie with us.�



He shook his head and frowned at her, stepping further into the room. It seemed he had forgotten about the awkwardness of the situation. “Why didn’t I know about this?�



“You were on a trip with your friends maybe? Why does it matter?� She raised herself to a full sitting position, throwing TJ off of her in the process. She sensed that this wasn’t going to be a quick in and out conversation. TJ sighed, buttoning his shirt as he moved to recline against the wall.



“It matters because I ask you to help me out with Krista and you tell me you don’t want to interfere, but you sure seem to be helping Marshall out a whole lot.�



Her eyes widened in surprise. “I’m not helping Marshall out. I didn’t even know---he just called and they came over,� she defended, aware that she wasn’t being entirely truthful. Her mind excused her slight skewing of events by pointing out that he was being way too concerned about the whole thing anyway. “Why are you being so obsessive about this?�



“I just don’t get it. I mean, you know I like her, and if it’s really weird for you to hook us up, then fine, but it feels like you’re not only not helping me, you’re trying to sabotage me.� Taryn snorted and looked at TJ, her expression saying, Can you believe this? TJ shrugged. “Seriously. It’s like you’re making it a point to not include me in stuff. But you have Marshall over here.�



“I wouldn’t worry about him man,� TJ interjected. “I was more on a date with Marshall than Krista was. She spent more time up here with T than anything else.�



Taryn flushed and shot TJ an angry look. “What’s that supposed to mean?�



“Nothing.� He held his hands up in defense. “Calm down. It was a joke.�



“Well, it’s not funny.� She turned back to Jay, deciding to end the conversation right then and there. “This is getting out of hand. Krista doesn’t like you. I mean, she likes you fine, but she’s just not interested.� Jay started to protest. “No, she told me. When we were up here talking, she told me. And she’s not interested in Marshall either. So the best thing for both of you to do would be to lay off. Obssessing about her isn’t going to get you anywhere. There’re plenty of other girls for you to date. Move on.�



The words escaped in a rush. As soon as the outburst had started, she had wished she could stop, but her mouth was unwilling to listen to her brain, and insisted on staying open for the whole thing. The words spent, she was now faced with the consequences, and her heart clenched as she watched Jay’s expression turn from defiance to confusion to hurt. She knew there was nothing more she could say right then that would fix things, and remained silent as he turned and walked out of the room.



She breathed a deep sigh and turned back to TJ with a disbelieving look. “I can’t believe that conversation just happened.�



“So, why doesn’t she like him? He’s a good kid.�



“Good kid has nothing to do with it. Either the chemistry’s there…or it’s not,� she finished slowly.



He shrugged. “Alright. Still feel bad for him though.� He took her hand and began to massage her knuckles. She sighed and leaned back against him. The afternoon had been so strange, and part of her wished she could be alone to think about it all, but the other part of her was glad for the company and comfort TJ provided…until she felt the tip of his tongue caress her earlobe. In a move worthy of a varsity wrestler, she slipped out of his grasp and out of the bed.



“I’m not in the mood anymore,� she said, and sat on the edge of the bed. He sputtered in protest and stared at her, confused. She felt a twinge of guilt, but didn’t change her mind. She hadn’t really felt like getting heavy with TJ before, and it was even more true now. Her previous statement about chemistry came back to her, and she felt her heart sink.

“It wasn’t that bad, was it?� Marshall questioned from his position on the floor. He was sitting on a pillow, Krista’s bass held against his chest as he pretended to play. “I would look so hot on stage with this.� He regarded her for a moment. “I bet you look pretty hot too, since you actually know how to play it.�



Krista shrugged. “It’s an instrument, not a makeover. And just why did you want to go to Taryn’s so badly anyway? That was a disaster.�



“You’re being dramatic. I bet you didn’t mind the alone time in her room so much.�



Krista glanced nervously at the open door to her bedroom. Her parents had only agreed to allow Marshall to visit in her room so long as the door was open. They were both downstairs, but she couldn’t shake the worry that one of them would come sneaking up and lurk around her door. They’d been torn between being delighted that she had a boy calling on her and leery about that same fact at the same time.



Marshall caught her look and ducked his head sheepishly. “Sorry, I forget.�



“S’okay.�



“So, your parents really don’t know? I mean, they haven’t caught on to anything, like no teen heartthrob posters, no dating?� he asked, his voice lower.



“No,� she admitted. “I don’t think the thought ever crossed their mind. They probably just think I’m a slow developer.�



“If only they knew.� He flashed a lecherous smile that she returned. “So, what did you and Ms. Hottie talk about up there? Or did you talk?�



“Of course we talked,� she laughed, rolling her eyes. “I mean, we’re just getting to know each other. Trying to be friends, y’know?�



“Hmph. It’s a start,� he said.



Krista looked at him closely. “A start to what?�



“My many years of experience have taught me a very important thing, which is: Nothing ventured, nothing gained.�



“You’re not trying to pass that off as your own thought, are you? I’m not stupid.�



“I didn’t think you were, or else I wouldn’t waste my time with you.�



“Thanks. I’m honored.�



“See, I don’t think that anyone is strictly one way or the other. So, Taryn’s dating a boy? Big deal. Doesn’t mean she can’t be interested in girls. Maybe she just hasn’t met the right girl yet. I thought if maybe we crashed her date, put you right under her nose for a comparison, who knows…� He shrugged.



Krista stared at him in disbelief. Of all the… “I’m a bad enough wishful thinker all on my own. I don’t need you adding fuel to the fire.� He averted his gaze sheepishly. “Besides, if that were the case, we already had the experiment and it failed, remember? Spoken word?�



“I guess so,� he admitted.



“Why are you so concerned about my personal life anyway? Did Diana call you? Is she paying you?� They laughed at the idea. In the time that they’d been in her room Krista had managed to brief him on her life before Alexander. It was nice to tell someone all about her friends and her life, as opposed to the censored version she had given Taryn.



“Someone’s gotta be,� he retorted. “And, in Diana’s absence, I’m taking it upon myself to take up her mantle.�



“I’ll be sure to tell her that. She’ll be thrilled.�



“I just think it’s a shame. You’re 16 and never been kissed. If this doesn’t change, before you know it you’ll be writing country songs.�



Krista opened her mouth to reply when her father appeared in the doorway. “Hey, sorry to interrupt Button, but it’s dinnertime.�



“Oh…okay.� Krista glanced nervously at Marshall, wondering how much her father had overheard.



“Marshall, you’re welcome to join us, if your parents say it’s okay. We made enough,� her father offered.



“No thanks, Mr. Evans,� Marshall demurred, getting to his feet and setting the bass back in its stand. “I’d better get home myself. My cats are probably mad at me.�



Mr. Evans nodded, glancing at him uncertainly before shooting Krista a “hurry it up� look. She got the hint and motioned for Marshall to follow as she set off behind her dad.



“I wonder how old they think I am?� he whispered from behind her.



She stopped in her tracks and turned to face him. “How old are you?� He flashed his hands, holding up all ten fingers and then nine. “Great,� she muttered, resuming their walk to the front door. Knowing her parents, his age would be an issue. Nothing’s ever simple.



They stopped by the entrance to the dining room to allow Marshall to say good-bye to her parents. Once in the foyer, Marshall turned around to say good-bye to Krista. He surprised her by pulling her into a hug. “Your folks are funny,� he whispered into her ear. “They’re waiting to see if I smooch you goodbye.�



Krista exhaled in exasperation. “I get the feeling,� she said ruefully, “that you’re going to complicate my life with your maleness.�



He nodded firmly. “Probably. And if I hug you any longer your mom’ll be knitting booties before you know it.� He released her, grasped the doorknob and with a “see ya’� slipped out the door.



Krista squared her shoulders and resolutely turned to join her parents in the dining room. She sat at her place at the table, waiting for the deluge of questions. She wasn’t disappointed.



“So,� her mother began, “Marshall is it? He seems nice. How do you know him?�



“He works at the record store with Taryn.� Krista scooped a spoonful of food into her mouth; she couldn’t talk too much if she was eating.



“How old is he?� her father asked.



She was tempted to lie, but decided against it. It would only makes things more difficult in the long run. “19.� She bowed her head over her plate, giving her food her full attention.



In the silence that followed she watched from beneath her eyelashes as her parents struggled to find a response. She almost laughed aloud at the looks they were giving each other; some things were just too complicated for that silent parent communication. She had an idea of what they were thinking though. On the one hand they’re probably excited that I’m finally showing interest in a boy. But, the boy’s much older than me. What to do? What to do?



“Too bad he couldn’t stay for dinner,� her mother finally said. Krista shoved another spoonful of food into her mouth to keep from laughing out loud. They were so funny sometimes, the way they tried to act cool. She knew it was killing them not to just come out and ask if she was dating Marshall, but she wasn’t about to make it easy for them. They attempted to subtly grill her about Marshall for a little longer before they gave up and silence settled in.

The next few weeks grew busier for Krista, with every day seeming to bring a new event or activity. With the development of her father’s computer store quickly progressing, she found herself helping him out for a few hours every weekend; she was even at the store on some weeknights depending on her homework load. Any complaints she had had about the level of music the jazz band was playing went out the window as Mr. Brannigan informed them that now that they had gotten their stride, “baby jazz� was over, and they began to tackle more challenging pieces. Q’s rehearsals were also intensifying as Krista waded her way through old songs and tried to learn the new ones that kept coming in a never-ending stream of creativity. It was just as well she didn’t yet have the courage to bring any of her music to them; at this rate, there would be no room for it.



She had also finally begun to make friends and create a social circle of sorts for herself. She was pleased to find that there were quite a few genuinely nice, interesting people in many of her classes, and she began to spend time with some of them outside of school. Marshall remained a fixture in her social life as well, continuing to give her parents false hope. She didn’t know which was worse: having them constantly checking in to see if she was dating anyone at all, or having them interrogate her about how things were going with a particular boy. She bounced between being amused, annoyed, and relieved that they would never think to question her about the person she was ultimately spending the most time with.



It may have been the intense conversation that they had shared the night of the movie, or just that enough time had passed for them to get used to each other, but she and Taryn were spending more and more time together, embarking on what was without a doubt a friendship. In the beginning there were a few more outings like the Spoken Word event wherein Krista would tag along with Taryn and TJ, feeling very much like a third wheel. They had also gone on outings with their parents; Cheryl, true to her word, had provided the Evans with maps and brochures for things to do in and around the city, and whenever Krista found herself dragged off to a museum, she made sure to rope Taryn and Jay in too.



As the weeks passed and September bled into October, Taryn began asking her to accompany her places or do things with her that didn’t involve anyone else but her; no TJ, no Jay, no parents. It had taken Krista by surprise at first; she could not fathom why the other girl had taken a sudden interest in hanging out with her, but she was not about to question it or pass it up. She was strong in her resolve; she would work her way through her crush on Taryn, and be a good friend. It worked with Diana, it could work with her.



It started slowly, with Taryn inviting her out to have coffee, or go to a movie, and the outings grew into full-day events: the Sportsplex to watch the skaters going at it on the half-pikes and ramps; walking trails at the Desert Wind Park, and visiting their bird habitat and botanical garden; driving out to Tempe to hang out at the lake.



And the dairy farm, Krista thought, shaking her head in bemusement at their latest adventure as she washed her hands with the antibacterial soap provided at the row of sinks.



“What are you shaking your head about?� Taryn queried from her side, rubbing the clear liquid into her own hands and scrubbing.



“I’m thinking about how you’ve got me at a dairy farm. Who randomly takes trips to dairy farms? Who milks cows for fun?�



Taryn looked pointedly over her shoulder at the mob of people gathered around the pen containing the calf they had just milked, vying for an opportunity to try it themselves. Krista laughed and shook her head again. The crowd at the farm was made up of two types of people: little children and their parents. Of the few teenagers there, she and Taryn were the only ones who did not look as if they had been dragged there kicking and screaming.



“I can’t believe I touched an udder,� she said, looking at her hands and shuddering at the remembrance.



“And I got it on film,� Taryn smiled wickedly, patting the pocket of her jeans that held the small digital camera. “I’m thinking about writing a guest piece for the school paper. What do you think?� She jumped back as Krista flung water on her.



“So, we’ve petted pigs and goats, milked cows, learned about the process of dairy farming…what’s next?�



Taryn glanced at her watch. “Oooh, hay ride. We’d better get going if we wanna get seats.�



“Hay ride.�



“You’re not in New England anymore,� Taryn teased.



“Hey, we have hay rides in Massachusetts. We farm,� Krista retorted in mock indignation as she followed Taryn. It had been a weird idea for a trip, further affirming her opinion that Taryn was a weird girl. It had taken Krista a second to even understand what Taryn had been proposing when she asked her if she wanted to go, but it had never occurred to her to turn her down. If Taryn invited her somewhere, she was going to go. No question. And as usual, she had wound up having a great time. Now they were off for a hay ride, something she had not particularly enjoyed the one time she had tried it, but in the exciting, mystical world she lived in when she was with Taryn, the prospect of being itchy and sticky did not faze her at all.

“So, after we IM’d last night, guess who came over?�



“Who? We didn’t sign off till like, 11.�



“Swallow,� Diana demanded. Krista laughed and swallowed the mouthful of peanut butter cookie she had speaking around. “Now guess.�



“I don’t know. Who?�



“Ryan.�



Krista sat up straight in her window seat, narrowly missing knocking over the glass of milk and plate of peanut butter cookies balanced on the cushion. “And did you let him in?�



“Of course I did. He’s not a vampire,� she joked.



“So, what happened? What’d you guys do? Did he stay long?� The barrage of questions flew from Krista’s mouth as fast as her brain could produce them. She had little doubt of what Ryan coming over to Diana’s so late meant, especially with Diana’s parents out of town.



“We talked, watched a little tv,� Diana said, her tone coy. Krista groaned at the lack of details, causing Diana to laugh again. She knew how hard it was for Krista to be patient about anything. “Alright, so we…fooled around a little.�



“Oh, I knew it!� Krista exclaimed. “Tell me everything! What was it like?�



There was silence as Diana thought about it. “Well, it was kinda weird. Kinda awkward at first. But after a little bit, we got used to it and it got better. It got fun.� Krista could almost hear the grin in her voice.



“Wow,� she said again, her voice tinged with jealousy. Diana was the first to do everything. She had been the first to develop breasts, the first to try cigarettes, the first to curse; it was to be expected that she would be the first to make out with a boy. Not that that meant anything to Krista technically. Still, she wondered when it would be her turn to experience…anything. Something.



“Yeah. It was pretty wow till his hands got a little too adventurous. I wasn’t ready for that. I mean, my body sure seemed like it was,� she admitted sheepishly, “but I know I really wasn’t. I mean, it’d be just my luck for something bad to happen, right?�



“Yeah.�



“You’re lucky you’re a lesbian,� she continued. “If you decide you wanna have sex, that’s it. You can just have sex. You don’t have to worry about getting pregnant or something.�



Krista sputtered and coughed, spraying cookie crumbs all over her shirt. Regaining her breath she said, over Diana’s laughter, “Funny, I don’t remember reading that in any of my books. Lucky, huh?�



“Oh come on, think about it.�



“Yeah,� Krista said, her voice heavy with sarcasm. “I’m thinking about how if you decide that you’re interested in someone, all you have to do is make sure your parents are away and hey, all bets are off. If I decided I like someone, I have to figure out if they’re even playing for the same team as me before I even get to worry about whether or not they like me back. I get a whole extra step compared to you.�



“Well, you’d have more practice with the whole process if you weren’t wasting your time hanging out with non-romantic prospects,� Diana pointed out. “Seriously, you hang out with boys, which are of no romantic interest to you, and a straight girl that you have a crush on, and her boyfriend. It's so ridiculous, my sympathy is waning fast.�



Krista sighed. As much as she hated hearing it, part of her knew Diana was right. She had thought at some point that spending time with Taryn as a friend would eventually do away with her romantic feelings. On the contrary, her crush was not only still alive and kicking, but had gotten stronger. She would not admit it to Diana for fear of being mocked, or worse, pitied, but the truth was that her crush had metamorphosed into something a bit more. She hesitated to call it love; she was a sophomore in high school. What did she know abut love? She was intuitive enough however to recognize that it was not as simple as a crush anymore either. No matter what, she did not think she could really stop hanging out with Taryn unless Taryn herself demanded it.



Conversation was at a temporary standstill as Diana waited for Krista to comment, and Krista pondered her situation. She turned and gazed outside, her eyes honing in on Taryn’s window with the ease of many nights of practice. She was lucky that Taryn had not caught her mooning at her window; that would be difficult to explain.



As if called by her thoughts, Taryn suddenly appeared in front of her window. Krista ducked and rolled off the window seat, landing on the floor with a loud thud.



“What was that?� Diana asked, concern in her voice. Krista shook her head and hurried over to her desk and sat down; one or both of her parents would be up soon to see what the noise was about. She glanced back out the window; no one was there. She exhaled in relief. Maybe she needed to brick up her window.



“Nothing,� she explained, realizing that Diana was still waiting for an answer. “I just fell.�



“Alright, I’m done lecturing. Just think about it. Please?� Diana said. She added, in a softer voice, “I just don’t want to see you get hurt. You’re my best friend.�



“I know.� There was another silence. Krista heard the sound of footsteps ascending the stairs and laughed. “Here come my parents to see what broke.�



“Hide your drugs,� Diana joked, breaking the sober cloud that had descended upon their conversation. Krista was grateful for the reprieve and joined in her laughter.



The expected knock came a moment later. “Everything okay in there?� her mother asked through the door.



“Yeah mom…I just tripped.�



“Okay.� She waited for the footsteps to recede before giggling into the phone and returning to light banter with Diana, happy to forget for the moment her friend's words of concern. Happy to pretend that she didn’t know that Diana was right.

Taryn absently thumbed through the magazine, her eyes skimming over the pictures. Band practice was over and she was due to go out later that evening with TJ and Krista- the usual Saturday night plans- and was passing the time in between. She contemplated going over to Krista’s and seeing what she was up to. Her homework was done and she was just plain bored. She had just decided to motivate and head over when there was a knock at her door. Without glancing up she said, “Come in.�



She heard the door open and footsteps announced someone entering. “What’s up?� she asked, still skimming her magazine. She expected it to be Jay, but when she finally looked up in annoyance at her visitor’s continued silence it was TJ who stood in the doorway, hands thrust in his pockets, watching her.



“Hey,� she said in greeting, surprised. “I didn’t expect you till later. What are you doing here so early?� She asked the question even though she thought could guess why he would show up earlier than necessary. He had been much more interested in sex over the past month than usual, and had taken to making advances toward her every time they were alone together.



He surprised her by saying, “We need to talk.� His tone unnerved her, and as she gazed at him more carefully she noted the determined set of his mouth, and the sadness in his eyes. She laid her magazine aside. This wasn’t going to be a conversation of the good variety.



Sitting up she moved to the edge of the bed and waited. Taking his cue he stepped into the room and made his way over to her. He sat on the bed next to her, and she noticed that he did not touch her as he usually would have. She swallowed, her heart beginning to beat fast.



“I don’t really know how to do this,� he began. “You and me…I think we’ve gone pretty much as far as we’re going to go. I’m…I’m moving into the city, try and really get into my art thing.�



Taryn stared at him for a moment before she managed to sputter, “Are you breaking up with me?�



“Basically…yeah.�



She shook her head as if trying to force understanding into her brain. “Wait a minute…why?�



TJ lifted his hands palms up and shrugged, his expression suggesting that there were too many reasons to name. “Seriously, T, be honest with yourself. Why would we continue? Things have changed so much between us. I mean, I know you were never big into the physical stuff, but you’ve never all-out avoided it like you have been lately. You make me feel like I disgust you. And you never want to spend time alone with me anymore.�



“What do you mean? I---“



“When was the last time we went out without Krista?� he challenged. Taryn’s mouth clamped shut as she thought back through the past few weeks. She had taken to inviting Krista along with them a lot, but what was wrong with that? So she wanted her friends to like each other and get along; why was that wrong? What was wrong with trying to give Krista some support in the dating category? As soon as the thoughts crossed her mind, she had to admit that they sounded lame. They sounded like excuses.



“So this is about sex?� she asked, deciding that for the moment it was the easiest point to stick to.



He sighed. “No, and you know that. It’s not not about sex, though. What guy wants to feel like his girlfriend doesn’t enjoy sex with him?� He paused and looked at her. She knew that he wanted her to interject and tell him that she did enjoy sex with him, but she wasn’t about to lie. This time was very much about honesty, so she met his eyes with a steady gaze. He looked away with another sigh, this one sad and final.



“So…that’s it. I don’t know what you’re into, but it’s clearly not me.� He stood and she held out a hand to restrain him.



“Wait a minute,� she protested. “That’s it? I mean, what, are we never going to see each other again? We’re not going to be friends? We’re just going to pretend like we never knew each other?�



TJ shook his head in disbelief. “I was falling in love with you,� he explained. “It’d be really hard for me to just be friends with you right now.� He turned away from her and stepped towards the door. Taryn watched him go, her mind feverishly processing everything that was happening. He hesitated and shook his head as if fighting off an urge to turn back, but he did not. “Bye T.� With that he was gone.



Taryn didn’t know how long she sat motionless on her bed, staring at the closed door and replaying their conversation. She struggled to get a grasp on the horde of emotions raging through her. She knew she hadn’t been in love with him, but where were the tears, the outpouring of grief and remorse; where was the hurt? She had just been dumped for the first time. Not for the first time she wondered if she was missing something internally, the kind of something that would have sent a normal teenage girl into fits of weeping.



She roused herself and glanced at the clock. Krista would be on her way over soon, unaware that the evening’s plans had changed. Taryn considered calling, but the idea of getting out of the house and out of her head was appealing. She also, she realized, really wanted to see Krista at that moment, and why not? That’s what friends were for. Maybe she would be good to talk to.



Taryn rose and slipped into her Tevas. She started down the stairs and towards her front door, replaying the scene of her dumping in bemusement. She didn’t notice her mother standing in the doorway to the kitchen watching her until she stepped in front of her and startled her out of her reverie. “Honey?� she questioned, laying a light hand on Taryn’s forearm. “Are you okay?�



“Oh, yeah. Sorry. I totally didn’t see you.�



“Is everything alright? I saw TJ leave not long ago and…he seemed sort’ve upset,� Cheryl ventured.



“Yeah. We um…sorta broke up.�



“Oh.� They stared at each other for a moment. Her mother’s eyes searched her face, looking for a hint of what was going on in her head.



She shuffled her feet, uncomfortable under the scrutiny, and looked away. “I’m going to go over to Krista’s, let her know we’re not going out tonight.�



“Okay,� her mother said nodding her head, and Taryn slipped past her and out of the house.

Krista’s parents were surprised when Taryn showed up at their front door. The increasing amount of time that their daughter had been spending with the older girl had not escaped their attention, but the Hoffa residence was not the girls’ preferred setting. Taryn had only been inside their home on one occassion, and that visit had not seen her go any further than the living room. Even still, they welcomed her warmly enough and pointed the way to Krista’s room.



Taryn wandered up the stairs, past an open door that revealed a tidily made king-sized bed. She glanced in out of curiosity before continuing down the hall and stopping in front of a closed door. Strains of bass emanated from the room, and she stood listening for a long time before she shook herself out of her daze, realizing that she was in effect spying on her friend. She knocked on the door and the playing stopped immediately, followed by Krista’s voice calling out: “Come in.�



Krista didn’t move from her position on the floor in front of her make-shift recording studio; the thought that it could be anyone other than one of her parents never crossed her mind, and she planned to continue what she was doing as soon as they were done with whatever parental duty was on the docket for the day. Needless to say, when Taryn peeked around her door, Krista was more than a little shocked.



“Hey!� she greeted with a quick glance at the clock. Nope, she still had another half an hour or so before she was due at Taryn’s house.



“Sorry. Am I interrupting?� Taryn asked as she stepped further into the room.



“No, no.� Krista stood hastily and put her bass back in its stand. “Come on in.�



Taryn stepped into the room, taking in Krista’s room. Krista realized that this was the first time Taryn had been in her room, and her eyes scanned her bed and floor for sign of anything that might be embarrassing; a stray pair of underwear, a loose tampon…one of her lesbian romance novels. Relieved that all incriminating items seemed to be hidden away, she returned her attention to her guest.



“So, um, what’s up?� she asked, trying to modulate her voice so that the question did not sound as if she were unwelcome.



“I wanted to let you know that the party’s cancelled. At least, I’m not going, and TJ’s not going…� Taryn trailed off.



“Oh.� Krista sat on her bed. She wasn’t sure if she was disappointed or not. She had never been certain that she even wanted to go to the party in the first place, but as always: any excuse to hang out with Taryn. Taryn, who happened to seem a little unlike her usual self. “Are you okay?�



“Yeah.� Taryn sighed and helped herself to a seat on the floor. “TJ and I broke up.� The statement came out as more of a question.



“Oh.� Krista cursed her lack of command of the English language. Taryn’s presence always reduced her to monosyllables for what felt like forever before her raging hormones allowed her to settle into a normal interaction. She hoped like hell that it would get easier with time.



Taryn laughed out loud at her friend’s reaction. “‘Oh?’� Krista blushed at her understatement. “That’s what my mom said too.�



“Do you wanna…do you wanna talk about it?�



Taryn shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s stupid.� She leaned back on her hands and gazed at the floor.



“Might help.� Krista stood and took the few steps necessary to bring her within arms length of the door. Leaning over she extended her arm and sent the door swinging shut with one light shove. She returned to her seat on the bed and with a brave flourish that she did not feel said, “Okay, spill it!�



“You want the long or short?�



“If we’re not going to the party anyway, might as well make it long.�



“Well, I kinda lied earlier. We didn’t break up as much as TJ…dumped me.� She looked down at the floor again with a small shake of her head. “He said we weren’t spending enough time together anymore.�



Krista digested this information, nodding her head in sympathy, although in truth, she was a little confused. After their heart-to-heart in Taryn’s bedroom, Krista had expected Taryn to break up with him long ago, and had watched in disappointment and puzzlement as the relationship had continued. They had never spoken of it again, and she had never gotten up the nerve to ask. Krista felt a little guilty that she was thinking those things, not to mention feeling some small glee that it was over. I guess I won’t be feeling like a third wheel any more. As soon as the thought had crossed her mind she made the connection between TJ’s words and the reality of the past month. She had been spending a lot of time with Taryn…and TJ. Could she be the reason…?



“It has nothing to do with you,� Taryn assured her, reading her expression. “I mean, yeah, we’ve been having a lot of group activities lately but…really, it wasn’t working out anyway. Long before tonight, but you know that.�



Krista nodded in acknowledgement; she did know that. It was clearly the reason Taryn could sit there, talking with her so in such a calm and emotionless way about it. Man, if I’d just gotten dumped I’d be miserable.



“Can I tell you something?�



Krista nodded and leaned forward. Taryn’s tone indicated that they were about to have another deep conversation, and her heart surged. Even if they were talking about Taryn’s relationships, she cherished the fact that she was being taken into her confidence, trusted.



“I’m so fucked up. I don’t even know how to feel about it. It’s like, on the one hand, I kinda feel a little relieved, y’know, cause we were more friends than anything else, and not being ‘together’ takes the pressure off, y’know? But then I feel bad because he was so…sad. And I think I must be this awful person to feel relieved when he feels so bad. And so I feel bad, but for the wrong reason, y’know? And what really sucks about this is that I lose the boyfriend, which I’m not upset about, but I also lose my friend, which is pretty shitty. I must not be human.�



The two girls sat in silence in the wake of Taryn’s words. Krista started to say something several times, but nothing came out. How did you respond to something like that? There was nothing she could say that would not sound inane or trite. She decided that the best thing she could do under the circumstances was to just be there.



Seconds passed that felt like minutes before Taryn looked up from the floor and seemed to come back to herself. She smiled gamely at Krista. “Sorry about that. Thanks for listening.�



“No problem.� Krista watched her, seeking to take a cue from her behavior.



“But, enough about me and my romantic problems,� Taryn said, reaching over and tapping Krista’s bass. “What were you playing when I came in?�



Krista did a double-take at the abrupt change in conversation. “Nothin’ much. Just fooling around.�



“Nothin’ much? It sounded really good.� Krista watched as Taryn looked again at the bass again, and this time her eyes lingered on the shelf behind the bass stand. Krista watched helplessly as she pushed herself up onto her knees to get a better look. She’s going to see the digital recorder and then she’s going to ask---



“Do you record? Do you write your own stuff?� Taryn was now standing, fingering the rudimentary equipment. “Were you playing your own stuff?�



Krista stood and moved protectively to her equipment. “I fool around some.�



Taryn turned to look at her. “Can I hear some?�



Krista’s mouth opened and closed. She did not know how to avert the direction this was going in, or how to get Taryn off the trail. She had never shared her music with anyone, and she had not gone into the evening expecting to be doing it tonight.



When Krista finally started to produce sound, Taryn cut her off, her face showing her amusement at her predicament. “Come on, you gotta share with me. You hear my music all the time.�



“That’s different,� Krista retorted. “You want me to hear your music.�



“What’re you afraid of?� Taryn reached over and hit the rewind button. Krista looked at her in indignation, indignation which faded in the light of her cute smile. Ah hell.



“It’s not very good.� She began making her disclaimers as she watched the counter roll back. “It’s still in the beginning stages, y’know, I’m still working out the kinks.� The snapping sound of the counter reaching its end sounded louder than ever before, and she glanced nervously at Taryn once more before pushing the play button. Taryn sat back down on the floor with a satisfied thump, leaning back on her hands again and letting her head loll to one side as she listened. Krista fidgeted by the machine, and as the first notes started to emanate from the speakers she could not stop her mind from critiquing her song as only creators can. She winced at every perceived missed note, and passages that she had thought of as creative and fluid sounded stiff and typical to her ears, causing her to groan out loud in embarrassment.



Taryn sighed and reached over to grab her hand. Her sudden firm grip took Krista by surprise, and she gasped as she found herself being propelled towards the floor. She came to the ground with a light oomph, Taryn’s other hand gripping her waist and helping to slow her descent so that she landed unharmed. “Cut it out,� Taryn admonished. “You’re interfering with my listening.� She withdrew her hands from Krista’s person and leaned back again, cocking an eyebrow in warning against any further comments.



Krista sat quietly; her wrist tingled where Taryn had touched her, and she was sure that if she lifted her shirt, her skin would bear an imprint of Taryn’s fingers where she had held her so briefly. At that moment she wanted very much to be alone, to be allowed to contemplate and bask in that feeling. She was forced instead to sit in double-agony: Taryn’s fingers on her skin wreaking havoc on her emotions, and the sound of her music putting her on edge.



Finally, mercifully, the last note of the song faded away, and Krista moved to turn off the machine before the next one began. She turned to find Taryn shaking her head, looking at her in disappointment.



“That was fantastic,� she complimented. “I’d love to hear more.� Krista demurred, shrugging her shoulders. “Is it really that hard?� Krista shrugged again, drawing a sigh from Taryn. “Alright. I’m not gonna force you.�



Krista bowed her head. In truth she wanted Taryn to hear her music. She wanted to get the other girl’s opinion about it. She of course thought it was wonderful, way deep inside, but she was realistic about her talent and knew she could very well be full of it. Rolling her eyes, she jabbed the Play button again and sat down.



Ten minutes later she jumped up again to press the Stop button, and turned with anxious eyes to Taryn, who had been silent the entire time. Taryn met her eyes, a slow smile spreading. “Wow,� she breathed. “You’ve got some awesome ideas. Why haven’t you ever brought this stuff to rehearsal?�



“I didn’t know if you guys would like it or not,� she explained. The excuse, which had served her well in her head, now sounded lame when uttered aloud.



“Well, I’m pretty sure we’ll like it,� Taryn sad with conviction. “And I’m pretty sure I’m mentioning this at our next rehearsal.� Krista sighed. She had expected nothing less. “So…can I work on lyrics for this? Is that okay?�



Krista balked. She did not want to be the center of attention, but she also was not about to give up creative control of her music. “Um, actually…I kinda have lyrics already.�



Taryn closed her eyes for a second, a small sound coming from her mouth. “You write too?� Krista nodded humbly. The revelations were dropping by the minute. “Can I read them?� She looked around, trying to search out a notebook or pad of paper that looked a likely suspect.



Krista colored, thinking of how very gender specific her songs were. “Actually--I mean – I haven’t really ever shown them to anyone…� Taryn gave her a pleading look. “It’s not really a big deal,� Krista said weakly.



Taryn’s sigh was deep and dramatic. She got to her feet with exaggerated slowness. “Figures. You don’t think you’re a big deal, and I think I’m too much of a big deal,� she mumbled. Krista barely heard it, but she caught enough to confuse her. What in the world does that mean, she wondered. Before she had time to contemplate it too much, Taryn had stepped closer to her, reaching out to grab her hands and looking intently into her eyes.



“You’re a part of the band, Krista. What you think, what you do –it matters. And even if you weren’t in the band, you’re my friend, so still, what you think and do matters.� She said all of this slowly, intent on getting her point across. “So, will you show me?�



Krista dropped her eyes, unable to hold the gaze that was making her heart flutter. She fought against a sudden desire to sit, to simply let her legs fold beneath her; she was sure that this had to be the most intense feeling she had ever had, and she couldn’t take it. Her words…the smooth, soft skin of Taryn’s hands pressed against her own, which she was sure had to be clammy. Could Taryn feel the rapid beating of her pulse in her hands? Could she tell the reaction she was causing? Oh God…



Taryn dropped the other girl’s hands and chuckled. “Now that I’m dying of curiosity? Friends don’t let friends die.� Krista almost choked at the sudden loss of intimacy, her throat convulsing as if she had just been robbed of air.



“Sure,� she mumbled, and made a quick decision. She hurried over to where her bass awaited her. Safe. Hold it together, Kris, hold it together. God, what is she doing to me? She picked the bass up, slinging the strap over her head, and turned on switches with expert flicks of her hand. She tested the tuning and when satisfied, joined Taryn on the bed – being sure not to sit too close.



“I get a live performance?� Krista shrugged. If Taryn was not going to let it go, then playing her songs for her seemed like the lesser of two evils. She could not let her just read them.



Taryn peered at her suspiciously. “You sing too?�



“I dabble a little---“



“God! All this time…Is there anything else?�



Actually, there’s this little matter…“No,� she said out loud. She plucked a few notes and breathed, clearing her thoughts and gathering her courage. She had only performed solo in front of a few people; Diana once, and her father. The personal nature of her lyrics made her self-conscious – not to mention that the song she was about to sing was written for and about Taryn. She doesn’t know that, she has no way of knowing, Krista reassured herself before taking a final deep breath and plunging into the song. She started off, her playing slow and faltering, aware of Taryn’s eyes on her. The sensation was strange; singing lyrics from her heart about the person she was singing to. It was like a scene from a bad movie. As she continued to play, however, her fingers found their route. They knew these songs by heart, and her playing smoothed out and began to flow. Her voice, which had started small and low, gained strength from the confidence of her fingers, and by the second chorus she played as if she were alone.



The song ended, and Taryn poked Krista, nodding her head at her to indicate that she should play some more. Seeing Taryn’s appreciative smile, Krista stamped down her lingering nervousness and played another song, which became another, and another. She did not need to ask if Taryn was enjoying it; her face spoke volumes, and by the next song she had started to join in on the choruses, harmonizing. Their voices blended together well, Krista’s higher soprano melding with Taryn’s alto. They did not notice the change from exhibition to collaboration as they began to work together on the songs, Taryn making suggestions and adding her touch to Krista’s work, nor did they notice the time pass.