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Silver Storm
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#51
Old 08-31-2015, 10:09 PM

Yeah and she is always been one of those that loves to be in the spotlight no matter what. At our wedding she was telling everybody, "I got a daughter and I didn't even have to potty train her."

Moonlit Freedom
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#52
Old 08-31-2015, 10:09 PM

Woah!! Ugh!! I'm so sorry! That is just horrible going there thinking he'll be ok to find that out!! D: Grrr!

It could be that is how his mom is processing the fact that her son is gone?
Everyone grieves differently.
But I get where you're coming from too.

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#53
Old 08-31-2015, 10:10 PM


aw, even at y'alls wedding

Silver Storm
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#54
Old 08-31-2015, 10:11 PM

Yeah that could be. I don't know; she just seems the same way she always is. And it really feels like she is just soaking up the attention that comes with it.

---------- Post added 08-31-2015 at 05:12 PM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by marnie View Post

aw, even at y'alls wedding
Yes and she spent one afternoon once telling me all about Jacob's brother Jason's birth. MORE INFO than I EVER wanted to know about my brother-in-law.

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#55
Old 08-31-2015, 10:13 PM

is she lonely

Moonlit Freedom
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#56
Old 08-31-2015, 10:14 PM

Who really knows - I do know that different people handle grief in different ways.

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#57
Old 08-31-2015, 10:16 PM

that's ture
I clean

Silver Storm
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#58
Old 08-31-2015, 10:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by marnie View Post
is she lonely
I don't know. My first thought is no because she lives with her mother and Jacob's older brother Jason. Jason has never moved out and I think he is like 35.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moonlit Freedom View Post
Who really knows - I do know that different people handle grief in different ways.
Yes they do and I should probably try and talk to her. Its just hard when I barely have the energy. And some days it just hurts so much to talk about Jacob and here the stories.

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#59
Old 08-31-2015, 10:18 PM

I turn into myself and kind of become a shell.

Never really dealt with anything on this level, but I have dealt with some not so pretty things and the last time - the only thing kept me going was my daughter.


---------- Post added 08-31-2015 at 03:19 PM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by Silver Storm View Post
I don't know. My first thought is no because she lives with her mother and Jacob's older brother Jason. Jason has never moved out and I think he is like 35.

Yes they do and I should probably try and talk to her. Its just hard when I barely have the energy. And some days it just hurts so much to talk about Jacob and here the stories.
Don't push yourself, as everyone is different. That's understandable that it still hurts. It's all so fresh. If you can find the energy, maybe explain how you see things, framing it as I statements, so she understands where you're coming from, and that she's allowed to grieve in her own way, but letting her know how it's affecting you.

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#60
Old 08-31-2015, 10:20 PM

i'm afraid to open my mouth

when my nonno passes I saw his brother at the kitchen table
I went into a full run up the porch and around the house
jumped into his arms hugging him and squealin' NONNO
then I realized it was my Zio and not Nonno
I have never expressed grief since

LiviInLove
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#61
Old 08-31-2015, 10:24 PM

Grief? Losing someone dear and close! :( I know about that. What I will add in, is don't let anyone push you to go at the pace they see best. Set your own pace. Everyone grieves in their own time and at their own pace! I know how hard it can be to lose someone near and dear, to not feel whole without them. Never a day goes by that I don't miss Carlie.

In between my older brother, mom, dad, little sister and me - we all grieved differently. I dealt with it by boxing everything up of his, and even to this day, I can't get myself to go through those boxes without totally losing it. They're all in storage.

I rarely express my grief - except in private. I've gotten really good at putting up a happy front. Which cracks sometimes.

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#62
Old 08-31-2015, 10:25 PM

hiya, Livi

LiviInLove
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#63
Old 08-31-2015, 10:26 PM

Heya! I've found time to sneak on again! :D

Silver Storm
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#64
Old 08-31-2015, 10:26 PM

That is a good idea Moon.

I have a habit of, and even now am still doing it, of appearing strong and like I am doing okay, even though inside I am hurting and falling apart. Last night I was watching the video about Jacob from the memorial service and my mom came in and said, "You have had a good day today, don't make yourself cry." Just because I am not crying and outwardly appear okay, DOES NOT mean that I am doing okay. It just means, if nothing else, that I am keeping myself distracted and not processing my feelings.

Even when I am not crying, I still feel empty and alone and broken. And I still feel, like I have my whole life, that I need to be strong for everyone else. Jacob was the one person that I was always so open with. If I was feeling down he would see it. I never put on a strong facade around him. Besides if I did, he could see right through it.

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#65
Old 08-31-2015, 10:28 PM

and sometimes you just need to look at your loved one
if it was what you needed at the time I think it's good you were watching
I know everyone means well but one thing is not always good for another

LiviInLove
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#66
Old 08-31-2015, 10:30 PM

Oh going strong but falling apart inside - I can 100% relate to that. Oh I just about punched my brother when he said something similar - my response "SEAMUS... just because I'm not sobbing hysterically... doesn't mean that I'm in a million broken pieces inside and sobbing among those pieces so hard I can't breathe. He. WAS. MY. TWIN!" I know that it was your husband you lost, but both were losses of someone near and dear to our hearts. :(

It really is so hard losing someone who is so near and dear to your heart - that being without them is something that is painful.. :( So painful.

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#67
Old 08-31-2015, 10:34 PM

I really dislike how ugly family can be at the most important time to show LOVE
Quote:
Originally Posted by LiviInLove View Post
Oh going strong but falling apart inside - I can 100% relate to that. Oh I just about punched my brother when he said something similar - my response "SEAMUS... just because I'm not sobbing hysterically... doesn't mean that I'm in a million broken pieces inside and sobbing among those pieces so hard I can't breathe. He. WAS. MY. TWIN!" I know that it was your husband you lost, but both were losses of someone near and dear to our hearts. :(

It really is so hard losing someone who is so near and dear to your heart - that being without them is something that is painful.. :( So painful.

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#68
Old 08-31-2015, 10:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by marnie View Post
I really dislike how ugly family can be at the most important time to show LOVE
Yeah, but honestly, it was a really really tough time for all of us. So unexpected and something none of us really thought would happen. Yeah, it may not have been the right thing for Sea to say, but I know he meant well - even if I kind of blew up at him over it at the time.

We had to learn the hard way that everyone grieves differently.

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#69
Old 08-31-2015, 10:39 PM

Thanks guys. It just so hard. I miss him so much. He was my other half and knew me better than anyone in the world.

LiviInLove
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#70
Old 08-31-2015, 10:42 PM

That's how I saw my twin - he was my better half and there was no way I could ever get anything past him.

There's so much going on right now that I wish I could share with him. But he's not here. :(

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#71
Old 08-31-2015, 10:44 PM

I don't know how many times I have started to pull out my phone and call him to tell him something or ask his opinion on whatever decision I am being asked to make. Then I realize that I can't.

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#72
Old 08-31-2015, 10:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Silver Storm View Post
I don't know how many times I have started to pull out my phone and call him to tell him something or ask his opinion on whatever decision I am being asked to make. Then I realize that I can't.
Been there done that. :( It sucks.

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#73
Old 08-31-2015, 11:05 PM

*hugs you both*

Moonlit Freedom
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#74
Old 08-31-2015, 11:38 PM

*sets off a cannon full of happiness*

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#75
Old 08-31-2015, 11:55 PM

with glitter

 


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