Sooo tell me some jokes and I will choose my favorites, probably ten or so, and the winners will receive a random item.. :)
Basically I'm giving away my inventory, do not request any items, I choose.
:)
Funniest jokes win!!
GO!

Ps. stay & chat <3

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Jokes:
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10.


Honorable mentions:
None yet!

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Or don't? lol no one wants free items? D:

Here are some jokes. :D!

Q: Who would Soulja Boy sue?

A: Yoooouuuuuu!!!!

"How much is an Eminem?"
"50 Cent."
"What? That's Ludacris!"

If you know rap music or urban music in general, then you might get the jokes. :) Sorry I don't have any funnier/more general ones. :(

Edit: I am first to post! YAY!

HOW DOES LADY GAGA LIKE HER STEAK?

RAW RAW RAW AH AHHH

Haha, I'm not into celebrity jokes.

Oh well, I am out of funny jokes then. :P The rest of my jokes aren't PG-13. ^_^; They're more Bernie Mac-ish, Chris Rock Styled, and Wanda Sykes like in Manner. :P

I have one that's really corny. (I know this because the only one to crack up at it is my boyfriend's step-dad.)

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him, "Why the long face?"

Originally Posted by The Liztress

I have one that's really corny. (I know this because the only one to crack up at it is my boyfriend's step-dad.)

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him, "Why the long face?"

This one actually made me smile. :)
I'll keep it in mind.

I'm glad that it made you smile. I'll have to see if I can think up some more.

sorry for the length....

Some of you will recall that on July 8, 1947, a little over 60 years ago, witnesses claim that an unidentified flying object (UFO) with five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep and mule ranch just outside Roswell , New Mexico . This is a well known incident that many say has long been covered up by the U.S. . Air Force and other federal agencies and organizations.



However, what you may NOT know is that in the month of April 1948, nine months after that historic day, the following people were born:



Albert A. Gore, Jr.

Hillary Rodham

John F. Kerry

William J. Clinton

Howard Dean

Nancy Pelosi

Dianne Feinstein

Charles E. Schumer

Barbara Boxer



See what happens when aliens breed with sheep and jackasses? I certainly hope this bit of information clears up a lot of things for you. It did for me

and not sure this one counts as a joke but it's funny

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

This is my favorite joke even though its such a bad joke.

Why are there fences around the graveyard?

because people are dieing to get in!

One day in the forest, 3 guys were just hiking along a trail when all of a sudden, a huge pack of cannibals attaked them and knocked them out.

When they woke up, they were at the leader of the tribe's throne.

The chief then said "All of your lives may be spared if you can find ten of one fruit and bring them back to me."

So after a while the first man returned with 10 apples. The cheif then ordered him to stick all ten of them up his butt without making any expression at all on his face. He had a little bit of trouble with the first one and started crying while trying to put the next one in. He was soon killed.

Later, the next guy came in with 10 grapes. The cheif soon ordered him to do the same as the first guy. After to the 9th grape, the man started laughing so hard for no apperant reason, and was killed.

The first two guys soon met in heaven and the first guy ask the second, "Why did you start laughing? You only needed one more grape and you'd have gotten away!"

The second guy answered while still laughing, "I couldn't help it. I saw the third guy walking in with pineapples."

This one always cracks me up.

here's a real simple one...

333, half evil
[xD]

Haha, cute idea! :) I love it. xD;

Alright, I'ma give it a go!

What is brown and sticky?

...

A STICK!

Lol, gets people every time. xD

And, a science-nerd joke that I love, but no one ever gets...:

What happened to the bear that fell in the lake?

...

He melted!!

(*when there's no respone, you continue with the second half*)

Do you want to know why he melted?

...

Because he was a POLAR BEAR!!

Hehe, well, it was worth a shot. :)

Three blonds walked into a forest.
The first blond said "Hey look rabbit tracks."
The second blond said "No you're stupid those aren't rabbit tracks those are deer tracks."
The third blond said "No you are both wrong, those aren't rabbit tracks or deer tracks... Their bear tracks."
The next day the headline of the newspaper said, "Three blonds walked into a forest, they got hit by a speeding train."

Hahahahaha I'm blond and all but I love this joke :P

The friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought this was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that: Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

That is one of my favorite puns of all time!

What happened to the bear that fell in the lake?

...

He melted!!

(*when there's no respone, you continue with the second half*)

Do you want to know why he melted?

...

Because he was a POLAR BEAR!!

Hah, I actually got that. *Ginormous geek here*

Well, my favorite joke when I was little was this:

What's the difference between a teacher and a train?

One says "choo, choo" and the other says "Spit out your gum!"

Terrible, I know. But pretty funny.

what cackles, is half made of bread and blows away in the wind?

A sand witch.



Ohhh so baaad xDD

i did make that up just now though... :<

Here's a classic:
Why did the chicken cross the road??

To prove to squirrels it could be done. ..lol..

Do you like animal Jokes?

What do you feed a blue elephant for breakfast?

blue elephant toasties.

What do you feed a pink elephant for breakfast?

you tell the pink elephant to hold it's breath until it turns blue then you feed it blue elephant toasties.

i can't think of any jokes right now, but i loved "wings of writing"'s first one... darn i laughed hard :)

Since this thread was made back in October and the thread creator hasn't posted in it since then, I'm going to lock this up as it's no longer active. Katlyn, if you come back and would like your contest reopened, just PM an online moderator with a link to this thread. :)