I've been thinking about throwing myself into the dating world lately, and as such I've also been thinking about my "deal breakers." The things I'd dump a person on spot for, or not date them at all if I knew in advance.

One of my more...interesting...deal breakers, is that it would have to be a cold day in hell for me to date someone who is either a) allergic to cats, or b) doesn't like them (at least to the point they'd tell me I couldn't have one or make me feel bad for having one). I love my pet cat and I don't ever want to live without one.

A big deal breaker for me is also smoking of any kind. I can't stand the smell, and I won't put up with a person who does it. This even extends into my friendships...:sweat:

So, Mene, what are your deal breakers? Relationship wise, dating wise, friendship wise? And why?

Ooh, this is an interesting question! :)

I couldn't date a man that used fake tan. I don't use fake tan and I personally think that it's pointless (I live in Scotland, no-one should be tanned), so there is absolutely no way I could take a guy that does fake tan seriously.

I'm not really entirely sure what else would be a deal breaker for me, so I'll be back with more later. :ninja:

^agreed Bucket. I live in Canada, so the only excuse for tans are being at the lake all summer, or going away. Fake tans are gross.

They really are! :gonk: One night when I was out this guy came up to me and his pick up line was actually "Hey, I go to Indigo Sun each week to get my tan topped up, you like?" :roll:

I've only seen one fake tan that looked good, but that's probably cuz the girl used a gradual self tanner that gave her sorta sunny glow and looked well... definitely not orange! *ahem* I've actually been thinking about this for a while, I guess one big deal breaker for me is that when it comes to people and like being my friend or my partner you gotta be able to spend time with me and devote an hour a week (at minimum) of seeing my face to face... or at the very least, for the rare few I allow, see me at least for one day a month! >_<

So chyeah. :u

I can't really think of anymore besides the standard cheater etc etc ones.

Bucket;; LMAO. Not even I, who lives in Texas (we can get tans year round!) would fall for that. That's soo weird and gross. xD

I was having trouble thinking of things too. Though I also really don't like muscly manly men, but that's more aesthetic rather than personality quirks. Slim builds are :drool:

Haha it was honestly one of the worst attempts to get my attention I'd ever seen! :lol:

If they're a man. I don't date men. I also don't date anyone that's going to lie to me or has another partner. I won't even touch that. I also don't go near anyone who's known for abuse. They hit me and I'm leaving no questions. They abuse me verbally, I'm out. I don't need that kind of drama and no one should ever do that to anyone they love.

Smoking is a major deal breaker for me... I refuse to date anybody who smokes! It's just a major turn-off!!!!

Another deal breaker is any guy who is the one to jump to the topic of sex :/ If I do it's fine, but since guys are typically bigger horndogs than females, it's kinda a turnoff when they bring it up with me before I'm ready

deal barkers for me are men/woman who joke about harming animals even if they say its just a joke. had a boyfriend ones that did that. after I dropped him like a hot potato I found out he had been dating my BF behind my back saying we had not been together for some time. then they got married and he was a complete jerk. he cut her off from all her friends telling them when they called she was not there, even when she was just in the other room or one time next to him.

number two... if you cant respect what I want to do with my life I will hang up on you. ex, same one as up above, asked me what I wanted to do with my life after high school and I said go to art school. his response was "so they can teach you to finger paint?" the phone went click and when he called back I said I was through with his behavior. laid it all out what he had done wrong then said goodbye. best thing I ever could have done.

---------- Post added 07-05-2012 at 02:17 PM ----------

@ Nyvok I agree with you on the sex thing, if I want to sure but dont go asking me after our second date and then pushing for it every hour or so.

also agree with the smoking.

I had to hold myself back from posting a list a mile long of deal breakers when I did my original post. XP BUT, those things are pretty standard, so I'm not as much of a picky bitch as that makes me sound like. Just, ya know...cheater, notorious womanizer, etc.

I agree with Nyvok, too. Don't ask me about sex. Unless you've been dating me for somewhere around a month and a half, I don't want to hear the word. Also, being asked if I'm a virgin. Had that one a couple of times and it's creepier than f#$@. I just don't think those are things that you need to know about someone till you're sure you want to try and make a relationship with them.

I agree with you, too, Lunna. If someone makes fun of your chosen career/passions...they're just db's. Doesn't matter who they are.

Also, may I add...a serious pet peeve of mine I've learned to avoid. Men who cuddle with their friends. Especially their female friends. Goes the same for women who cuddle with their guy friends. It just ain't kosher, and it throws off waaaay too many red flags for me anymore. Mebbe I'm the only one who had a weird ass boyfriend who thought cuddling with his female friends didn't mean anything....

My boyfriend is a very huggable, lovable boy. He hugs all his guy friends (especially when they're squeamish about "man love") and he does hug his chick friends. I'm cool with that because I'm also always all huggy, feely touchy with my friends too. Me and him are just reallly feely touchy people, so really, we don't mind it when the other hugs and cuddles another of the opposite sex. I guess it's because we have such good communication that we don't need to worry about that. (Lucky us!)

Agree with Lunna on both of what she mentioned. Ah, also controlling. I don't care how hot you are, how nice you are, how awesome you are, if you're controlling or manipulative I'm dumping your ass. I had an ex who did not allow me to cuss around him at all. And well, I cuss worse than a sailor. I was raised hearing excessive cussing, and I can't help but to mimic that. His reason behind that was that he felt like I was calling him bitch or telling him to fuck off when really it had nothing to do with him and was usually because I accidentally hurt myself. I'm a klutz. Of course I'm going to call that chair leg a bitch! >.<

Oh a deal breaker for me is if you refuse to meet my parents or try to avoid it, I definitely don't want to date someone like that, and I'd prefer to not be friends with those types of people because, well, I'll be honest... my dad is one cool dad. He's got all kindsa cool stories from when he did stuff! o:

really really fucked up teeth are a deal breaker for me.
So is dishonesty and even a hint of manipulation. I also haaaaaaaaaaate stupid ppl so dating/being around someone with a low intelligence level is nearly impossible for me without like exploding on the person.
Another deal breaker is cheating, I do not date cheaters like at all....they're just too likely to do it again.
And finally my worst deal breaker of all is super duper hetero guys....idk it's just the mentality sickens me.

Originally Posted by Ana_M

Oh a deal breaker for me is if you refuse to meet my parents or try to avoid it, I definitely don't want to date someone like that, and I'd prefer to not be friends with those types of people because, well, I'll be honest... my dad is one cool dad. He's got all kindsa cool stories from when he did stuff! o:

Been there, done that, so I pretty much agree.

I do have to throw out some leniency for people who have really shitty/nutty parents, though. My parents are a tad odd, so I hold off on bringing home serious prospects for a little bit till I think both parties can handle each other.

I don't mind if he hugs his female friends. What I have problems with is full on lying on the couch watching a movie cuddling like they're your significant other. That's reserved for me, boy. :talk2hand:

Oh yeah... another one of my automatic deal breakers is this: If I ask why you like me and the first answer is ANYTHING that has to do with my body, it usually doesn't end up pretty. I am strict about being with somebody who thinks about my personality before looking at me... I guess that's why I like meeting guys online first ^^"

^--I like becoming good/best friends with a guy first for the same reason. :)

Excessive makeup, the inability to "go out" without makeup, all dressed up, and the like. I'm a simpleton I needed someone who was the same way, functional style, laid back, and rather introverted. Neither my girlfriend or I have much in the way of other friends so we've grown to really need each other, be each other's confidants, etc. We're each others best friends and that has become a vital part of our relationship. We're the couple who literally just lazes about, doesn't go out too often, and prefers just to sit around. I can also be a rather selfish clingy person, but she can too so it works out x3. She also has to be intelligent, insightful, logical, and now that my brain's starting to think about it this could be a book.

I'm not sure whether much of these "deal breakers" existed before I started dating the current person I'm with (I have little, little, tiny, immature [until now] dating history) or have come about because of her. I think it's more the later, because what I've started to list are parts of her that I've basically fallen for and are important parts of our relationship.

To be fair, I tried my best to avoid meeting my boyfriend's mother last year, so I don't hold that against someone.

Ha, I couldn't date a guy who didn't like cats either. I mean, he wouldn't have to absolutely love cats, but if he hated them, we'd have no future. :lol:

Religious and political views that differed greatly from my own would also be an issue. It's not that I can't like someone with a different opinion, but I'm in for the long haul, and I couldn't spend the rest of my life deeply tied to someone who I disagreed with on things that were very important to me. But I really have to stress that I mean big differences on opinion here, not that they have to agree with me on every single thing. I just couldn't date a homophobe, you know? :lol:

Poor hygiene would be another deal breaker. I'm not getting near you if you haven't showered in days! :lol:

Uhh... lack of a sense of humor, generally being a jerk in one way or another, significant age gap, drinker, into drugs, smoker... I'm picky, I guess. :lol: It doesn't really matter, though. I'm lucky enough to have found a guy who's darn near perfect. I've been with him 6 years and I don't plan on letting him go! :lol:

That's with relationships, though. Friends? I'm not picky at all. :lol: As long as the person is nice and reasonably intelligent, we'll get along just fine. Any issues I'd have with a potential friend all fall under "not being nice" or "not being really really intolerably stupid," so... yeah, those are the only qualifications. :lol:

Oh, I forgot all about hygiene, which is a huge one for me too!

Yeah! My dad doesn't brush his teeth. Ever. I'm like "mom, how could you stand to kiss him?!" :lol: I'm so glad Boyfriend is a generally clean person.

That sounds like my friend! One day we were going out for lunch, and since he works in an outdoor job so is usually disgusting, I gave him an hour to shower and change. He was fifteen minutes late and -still- in his work clothes. :gonk: His ex-girlfriend actually had to force him into showers.

I'm immediately turned off when guys who aren't my boyfriend call me babe or baby. Ridiculous douchebaggery. For some reason it doesn't bother me as much with girls, but I still don't like it.

People who don't read or like video games (this one sounds lame, but... well, I hate it).

Slobs.

Hyper-religious people.

@Mischka: I agree. I don't like being called pet names by anyone who doesn't know me well.

Uggh, a deal breaker is when I hear so and so asked for my number .... and not asking me, but my friends. That's automatically a no-go. I'm all, "Well if you see him again, you can tell me to fucking ask me or say it to my face." It's annoying when I hear stuff like that, or like a guy checking me out but not saying anything. -_-'''' If you like how I look, compliment me! I love being center of attention and getting compliments.
....
Mini rant over.

And yes, hygiene. Boyfriend is a hygiene fanatic. At first he refused to kiss me when I would surprise him when I went over really early. :I I shower, just not everyday. Twice a week unless I'm not really expecting anything or anyone then once a week. (Internet takes up time, makes me forgetful... List goes on~)

I agree, hyper religious people and I don't work out. I actually had this girl one time tell me, "Let's pretend I never heard that and you never said that," when I told her that I was athiest. (At the time I was athiest, hah. xP) I dropped her as a possible friend right then. Now that I think about it, I nearly socked her right then. If only I did...

If they make any sort of joke/inappropriate comment about rape and aren't sorry for it. That subject's one of the few things that upsets me.

Other than that, I can't think of any. :C