02-13-2008, 10:59 PM
A soft ballad was played as fingers gently touched the piano keys.
The music was sombre,z but beautiful.z However,z it could not captivate
any listeners for the only person in the room was its owner.z The
place was weakly illumined by a few burning candles as the pianist
mentally embraced the fiery warmth.z It was the only warmth he had
now.z He slowly closed his eyes,z letting his fingers roam freely on
the black and white keys to play his song.z While pouring out his
emotions,z he let himself free.z Yet,z he didn't mind.
Because he was alone.
That feeling dragged on,z even till now.z It was something
that he wish to get rid of and knew he can not continue his life
like this…being alone and desperate.z It had been a while since he
had accepted anyone as a lover.z Sometimes,z the thought if he can
remember how to love someone disturbed him.z He had been alone for
too long,z but he still have hope.
For he do care about someone in particular.
z"Gackt,z you're still playingz?"
The music stopped abruptly as Gackt blankly stared at the
piano keys,z not bothering to see who it was.z Familiar footsteps
headed towards him as Gackt mentally counted how many steps.z He felt
the piano bench shifted slightly,z feeling another presence sitting
beside him.z Strong arms wrapped around his waist as he felt himself
being pulled close.z Gackt rested his head on his friend's shoulders
and closed his eyes.
z"It sounds depressing,z" Hyde whispered to his ear.z Gackt just
nodded and leaned against,z enjoying the body warmth.z Somehow,z he
didn't feel lonely anymore,z now feeling quite content being wrapped
in Hydes's arms.z "What are you thinking aboutz?" Hyde asked curiously.
Gackt parted his mouth to speak,z but immediately bit his bottom lip
before he said the exact same words he had in his mind.
I was thinking about you.
z"Just thinking how I can improve this song,z" Gackt answered
as he pressed down a random white key on the piano.z Strands of light
brown hair brushed his left cheek as Hyde softly pressed his lips on
his forehead.z Gackt's eyes fluttered open and looked up at the gesture of his friend.z Both of their faces were a few inches apart and suddenly
felt it was hard to breathe properly.z He felt his body stiffen,
resisting the urge to lean over and press his lips on the shorter
man.
z"Your dears are going to cry when they hear that song,z" Hyde
muttered as he unwrap his arms,z breaking the embrace.z Gackt felt
relieved,z but cold,z unable to rely on the embrace for warmth.z Hyde
stood up and smiled as he tugged his arm to stand up as well.z To
tired to argue,z he weakly smiled back and stood up,
letting Hyde guide him to his bed.
Within seconds,z he sat on top of the comforter,z leaning his back
against the wall.z He watched a few of the flames died off,z leaving
one candle still burning in the room.z The room became dimmer and it
was hard to see Hydez; only a silhouette looming above him.z He felt a
hand placed gently on his cheek,z a thumb caressing his smooth
skin.z "Don't think too much,z Gaku.z You have a big schedule
tomorrow,z" Hyde responded.
Gackt nodded as the hand slid off his cheek.z Hyde stood up straight
and headed towards the door.z Gackt stared at him intently,z wanting
to say something more before he left.z Before Hyde's hand touched the
doorknob,z he opened his mouth again to speak.z "Hyde-sanz?"
Hyde turned around and glanced at the figure leaning against the
wall.z "…Oyasumiz…" Gackt's voice was barely audible,z but he could
still manage to catch the whispered word.z Ah,z oyasumi,z" Hyde
answered and smiled.z He faced his attention back at the door and
twisted the doorknob.z He was about to pull the door open but Gackt
began to speak again.
z"You took fourteen steps tonight.z"
"…What stepsz?"
"To reach me.z"
"Soz?"
"….it usually takes you eighteen.z"
Hyde chuckled softly and opened the door,z letting a slit of light
enter the dark room.z Hyde turned around again and gave Gackt one last
smile.z Gackt now could see Hyde much clearer and smiled back.z He
watched silently as Hyde slid out his room and began to close the
door.
If only Hyde knewz…
The door was closed shut as the last burning candle flickered into
darkness.
z…that the person I love is you.
z***********************************************
“Tadaimaz!” Hyde spoke while entering his apartment.z He kicked the door closed,z hearing a firm click from behind.z He placed a few grocery bags on the floor and carried a couple over to the kitchen.z He softly grunted as he placed them on top of the counter,z feeling his hand starting to get numb from carrying too many things at once.z He was about to turn around and head back to the front door when he saw Kyo carrying the rest of the grocery bags into the kitchen.
z“Thanks Kyo,z just place them next to the other stuff over there,z” Hyde instructed,z smiling at the other man gratefully.
z“No problem,z Kyo chirped,z smiling as he placed the rest of the bags on the counter.z Hyde began to rummage through a random bag,z taking out specific items and putting them in the drawer.z “Never knew it was raining that hard,z” Kyo commented while he helped Hyde putting away the food.z Hyde paused for a moment and sighed.z His clothes were soaked and the fabrics sticking against his skin was starting to feel uncomfortable.z His long black hair was messy and damp.z He could feel droplets of water trickling down from his hair down to his neck.z Damn,z he felt miserable.
z“I don’t know what’s up with the weather.z First it was all bright and sunny when I entered the grocery store,z and then it was suddenly raining when I came back out,z” Hyde replied grimly and shoved a few bottles of water into the fridge.z He would make a mental note to himself that even though the store was just a few blocks away from his apartment,z he would still bring a spare umbrella with him.z Or he could take the car,z which was obviously better.
He was about to grab a bottle of orange juice when Kyo snatched it away and put it in the freezer himself.z “Don’t worry,z I can handle the rest.z you should get yourself changed,z” the guitarist spoke and grinned.z Seeing Hyde’s suspicious look,z Kyo laughed and shook his head,z “No,z I won’t take anything and yes,z I know where to put them,z” he assured.z He seemed to have convinced the other man because Hyde smiled back and started to head out of the kitchen.
z“Oh,z while you’re at it,z Hyde should check out on Gackt too,z” Kyo added,z which made Hyde halt to a stop and turn around to face him.z “Is there something wrong with himz?” he asked,z but watch Kyo simply shrug in response.z “He locked himself in his room right after you left,z mentioning something about not disturbing him,z” he replied before continuing his task in putting all the groceries away.z ‘He’s probably fine,z’ Hyde thought to himself as he walked out of the kitchen,z ‘Maybe he’s writing a new songz…’
But he did not hear any sounds coming from Gackt’s roomz; the whole apartment was silent.z If he was playing on the piano or the guitar,z he can hear it from the living room.z He would definitely check up on Gackt…once he grab himself a towel and change his clothing.z He grimaced as he walked across the living room and headed towards the bathroom.
To his dismay,z his plans were disrupted as he promptly tripped on a black cord,z lying on the floor.
Hyde yelped and waved his arms wildly,z wanting to hold on to anything that would keep his balance but only managed to grab thin air.z He crashed on the floor flat on his face and his body lay limply.z He then heard footsteps running up towards him and instantly knew who the person was when he spoke up.
z“Hydez! Are you alrigh---OH MY GODz!”Miyavi shrieked.z He skipped over Hyde’s body and dashed up to the television while he twitched in pain.z Hyde groaned and began to push himself up as the also black haired one was clinging onto the flat screen television.z “M-my precious scorez! It’s gonez! Gonez!” Miyavi wailed and stared in disbelief at the wordsz ‘Game Overz’ plastered on the screen.
z“Myv,z you could’ve warned me,z” Hyde paused as he glared at the playstationz 2z lying on the floor,z”…and why is the tv set onz ‘mutez’?” Refusing to let go on the screen,z Miyavi slowly turned his head to face him.z He suddenly felt nervous at staring at the Gacktz’s dear friend face expression that mixed between being scared and gloomy.z “..Gackt warned me if I make any noise while he’s sleeping,z he’ll ban me from playing video games..,z” Miyavi solemnly replied.z you dont need to worry.z Why is Gackt sleeping during the early evening when he usually sleeps for three to four hours early in the morningz? Before Hyde could worry any further,z two hands grabbed both his shoulders as Miyavi began to shake him violently.z “I’ve been sitting around for the past frickinz’ two hours and did Hyde know how close I was in beating Gackt’s scorez?” Hyde wisely did not say anything to the angry dark haired one and only shook his head a little in reply.z “One.z Point.z AWAY,z” Miyavi emphasized his words by slamming Hyde’s shoulder’s against the ground.
z“But Myv-chan,z it was just a game.z”
Miyavi let out another wail,z “Hyde-san only thinks it was just a gamez! Hyde don’t care about me.z” Hyde felt relieved when the dark haired one finally let go of him and watched as Miyavi was now running frantically around the living room in circles.z “My only chance of beating Gackt is gonez! Gone,z I tell Hyde,z goz—“ Myv stopped his actions when he heard a door creaked open.z Both turned their attention to Gackt,z who was leaning against the door frame with one hand placed on the doorknob.
z“Why is it so loud out herez…,z”Gackt muttered in frustration and rubbed his eyes.z Hyde thought he looked extremely stress,z but still was presentable.z His black shirt was a bit ruffled and wore a loose pair of jeans.z However,z his usual pale cheeks were slightly flushed.z “Gackt,z Hyde-san ruined my score and I was so close in beating you..,z” Miyavi whined and clinged onto Gackt’s sleeve..z “But Myv-chan,z you know that I’m unbeatable,z” Gackt responded with a smirk.z At that moment,z one of the many visiting friends came in the living room,z smiled briefly at Gackt and dragged a gloomy Miyavi to the kitchen to leave the two alone.z Gackt took a glimpse of Hyde and then hurried into the bathroom.
After a few seconds,z Gackt came out with a white towel and hand it over to Hyde.z He took it gratefully and began to dry his hair.z “What happened to youz?” Gackt asked but Hyde simply pointed to the nearest window.z The vocalist tilted his head and watched the rain pour heavily outside.z “Mmz? Guess I didn’t notice that when I’m sleeping,z” he said and grinned sheepishly.
z“I should be asking what happened to you,z” Hyde stated and slung the towel over his shoulder.z “You don’t usually sleep this early in the evening and Hyde’re stressed out than ever,z” Hyde paused and placed one hand against Gackt’s forehead.z Gackt flinched at the touch and stared back at Hyde,z feeling his cheeks getting hot.z “you’re burning up...,z” Hyde commented.
z“No,z I’m not,z” Gackt snapped and immediately brushed off the shorter man’s hand.z “I-I was just feeling a bit tired,z that’s all,z” he stammered and stared at the floor,z avoiding Hyde’s steady gaze.z Hyde simply sighed and stood up.z “I’m going to my bedroom and find you some medicine,z whether you are burning up or not,z” Hyde replied.z Gackt looked up and suspiciously stared at him.z “you’re not going to give me that small brown bottle,z are youz?” he questioned.
z“Yes.z”
“..Hyde-san,z that stuff’s disgustingz!”
“Soz? It’s the best way to get better.z”
“But Hyde-sanz…”
“Oiz!”
Both of them blinked and focused their attention to Kyo.z “We need a lift back home.z Gackt,z could you drive usz?” Kyo asked.z “Sure,z” Gackt chirped and disappeared into his room to get his car keys.z “Kyo,z where’s Miyaviz?” Hyde asked warily,z seeing no sign of the dark haired one.z “Oh,z Myv? He’s sitting at the front door,z” Kyo paused to jerk his head once at the main hallway.z “He’s mumbling something about some game.z”
Hyde only grinned as Gackt entered the living room again,z holding his car keys in one hand.z “Bye Hyde.z See you tomorrow at lunch,z” Kyo said cheerfully,z waving at him before heading to the front door.z Gackt followed suit as Hyde called out,z “When you get back,z I’ll make sure you take that medicine.z” Gackt spun around and stuck his tongue out playfully,z then hurriedly followed the others out of his apartment.
When he heard a firm click coming from the front door,z knowing that Gackt had locked it before leaving,z he walked into his room.z He opened one of his drawers and rummaged through his medicine box.z He took out a small bottle and popped the lid open.z ‘That’s odd,z it’s empty,z” Hyde thought to himself,z but shrugged as he swung the bottle over his shoulder to his bed.z ‘That’s alright.z I was smart enough to buy a extra one…What thez?!’ He took out his spare bottle and popped the lid off only to be found empty.z Frowning,z he turned it upside down and shook it a little.z Not a single drop.
Just then,z the doorbell rang as he looked up curiously.z He went over to his bed and swiftly picked up a bottle before throwing both of them to a nearby trash can.z The door rang again and he jogged out of his room to the main hallway.z ‘Maybe they left something...z’ He didn’t bother looking at the peephole while he was unlocking the front door and swung it open.z He stared in awe,z realizing the person standing in front of him was not one of his band members or Gackt.
z“Masaz?!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Gackt was a clever man.
He knew he wasn’t feeling well this afternoon and had a feeling that Hyde would pester him in taking one if his awful medicines.z So before he went to take a nap,z he snuck into Hyde’s room and rummaged through his stuff,z making sure that whatever he’d touch was back in place.z When he finally found his roommatesz’ medicine box hidden in one of his drawers,z he snatched two bottles,z anticipating that Hyde would give him those,z and dumped all the contents into the bathroom sink.z Of course,z he had put them back to the same place where he got them and went to his room before one of his band members become suspicious.z After taking one of his medicine,z which was probably not as strong as the one Hyde has but at least knew that it was safe to take,z he went to sleep.
Yep,z Gackt was a clever man.
He stepped out of the elevator and smiled proudly while twirling his keys with one hand.z However,z his smile faltered when the door to his apartment was opened ajar.z ‘Weird,z I swear I locked it before I left…and Hyde should always make sure the door’s locked and closed.z’ He clutched his keys tightly in his fist and hesitantly walked closer.z ‘Nobody would dare break into our apartment…or would theyz?’ he thought nervously.z He slowly pushed the door open so that he wouldn’t make much noise.z He walked inside cautiously and glanced around,z relieved to see that nothing was tampered with or stolen at least.
z“Hyde…please help me..z”
A voice,z barely audible,z almost made him jump.z He heard something rustled coming from Hyde’s bedroom and slowly walked over there.z His heart beat started to throb painfully fast in his chest as he reached out for the doorknob.z “..I need you..,z” the same voice whispered inside and he swore he heard this voice before.z He slowly twisted the doorknob all the way before gingerly pushing the door open.z He gaped in horror and felt his heart skipped a beat.
Masa,z the former member of Gackt Job,z was sitting next to Hyde,z kissing him.
A sound of keys clattering on the floor startled all three of them.z Masa looked at Gackt and gasped while Hyde’s expression closely matched with hisz’.z The two of them immediately separated themselves apart and Hyde seemed to be the first one to find back his voice.z “..G-Gackt,z” Hyde stammered but was starring at the ground,z avoiding his gaze.z Gackt couldn’t utter and sound and bent down to pick up his keys.z Before Hyde could approach him,z he hastily broke into a run.
He ran out of the apartment and jabbed continuously on the elevator button.z “Gacktz! Waitz!” Hyde,z still in the apartment,z called out and ran out of the apartment as well.z Frustrated that the elevator was taking too long,z he immediately headed to the stairway.z Slamming the door open,z he dashed down the stairs,z passing down floor by floor.z Their apartment was just the eighth floor,z he could still make it in time to the parking lot.z “Gacktz!” Hyde’s voice wavered somehere above but he continued to run down the stairs,z sometimes jumping over a few.
When he finally reached to the bottom floor,z he ran over to where his car was and unlocked it.z He hastily swung the driver door open and closed it when he was settled in.z He then shoved the keys in the ignition slot and twisted them to start the car.z He had to get out of this place and fast.z Not bothering to check if his doors were locked,z he hit the gas pedal and began to drove the car out of the parking lot.z He could see Hyde exiting the staircase from his rear mirror but his figure disappeared when the car left the parking lot.
Gackt slowly let out a breath,z relieved he was driving away from the apartment building.z Driving around the city always helped him clear his mind or let him think in peace.z He turned right to one of the streets and started off in a steady pace.z He felt foolish just running away from them.z Besides,z Hyde was never his lover to begin with,z only a roommate.
z‘But,z it hurts so muchz…’ Tears were starting to form but he blinked them away,z not wanting to cry even though he was alone.z He was unconsciously speeding up as the rain heavily beat against the windows.z He kept on driving forward and was unaware where he was.z After a while,z his vision began to blur and he gripped tightly on the driving wheel.z He brushed one hand against his forehead,z feeling that he was burning up again.z He cursed slightly,z regretting that he poured all the medicine in the sink that Hyde could’ve given him.
When his vision began to clear,z he stared in horror at the person standing in the middle of the street.z He hastily turned the wheel stiffly as the car skid to make a u-turn.z Probably missing the person by few inches,z he slammed on the brakes as the car halt to a stop.z Both his head and heart throbbed wildly and leaned against the driver seat,z breathing heavily.z A knock from the driver’s window sounded distantly faint even though it was just next to him.z As he hesitantly reached out to pull the door open so he could confront the person,z his vision blurred and turned black.
Gackt slowly woke up and found himself lying on a comfortable bed.z One of his hands unconsciously tugged the soft bed sheets underneath and stared dazedly at its colour.z /White…this isn’t my roomz…/z The room was dark and the lights were turned off,z making it hard for him to figure out where he was.z He groaned and tried to push himself up into a sitting position,z only to sink back against the mattress when someone gently pushed him down.
z“Don’t,z you should be resting.z”
He immediately jerked away from the touch,z taken by surprise that someone else was in the room besides him.z Although the voice sounded familiar,z he couldn’t register in his mind who the person was.z Gackt began to panic and shifted on one side of the bed away from the stranger,z regardless how weak he felt.z However,z an arm wrapped around his waist and pulled him back to his previous position as he was about to open his mouth to weakly protest.z “I’m sorry.z Did I started youz?” the stranger apologized.z Gackt tilted his head up,staring at the shadowed figure looming above and saw familiar strands of blck hair.
He blinked,z knowing only one person well who had long black hair at the moment.z “..Hyde-Sanz?” he breathed out and slowly relaxed.z He cursed silently,z wishing the lights were on so he could see the other’s face much clearly.z Gackt heard a sigh and watched confusedly asz ‘Hydez’ shook his head.z A hand was placed on his forehead and Gackt closed his eyes,z too tired to even give eye contact.z The other man released him and walked away for a moment,z distantly hearing the door clicked shut.
He burrowed his face into the pillow.z Memories of driving away from his apartment with a broken heart and events that took place afterwards seeped into his head.z Did Hyde really did find him in the end and brought him back homez? A voice from the back of his head kept denying that,z reasoning with him that it wouldn’t make sense.z But,z if Hyde didn’t bring him here,z who wouldz?
A sound of the door breaking open interrupted his musings and opened his eyes tiredly to watch the shadowy figure approaching him.z He felt something cold pressed against his lips and a hand gently stroking his hair.z “Drink this.z It’ll make you feel better,z” ‘Hydez’ advised.z Gackt obliged and parted his lips as the content was slowly tipped upward.z The fluid tasted like bitter cherry,z strong but bearable than the previous medicines Hyde used to give him.z He thought about taking another glance at the other’s face,z but gave up,z knowing that he should get well first and save his worries later.z When he finished drinking,z Gackt grabbed the other man’s arm weakly before he could leave.z “…Arigatou...,z”Gackt whispered and loosened his grip while he fell into deep slumber.
z* * * * * * * * * * * * *
Hyde hung up the phone and glanced at the clock hung up on the wall.z It was past midnight and he sighed,z knowing well that Gackt had been missing for already a day.z He walked into his bedroom and slumped into his bed,z thinking of places where he possibly haven’t search yet.z But his mind kept on wandering back to memories of what happened on the previous nightz…
The doorbell rang as Hyde looked up curiously.z He went over to his bed and swiftly picked up a bottle before throwing both of them to a nearby trash can.z The door rang again and he jogged out of his room to the main hallway.z ‘Maybe they left something...z’ He didn’t bother looking at the peephole while he was unlocking the front door and swung it open.z He stared in awe,z realizing the person standing in front of him was not one of his band members or Gackt.
z“Myv?!”
“Ah,z it’s been a while,z Hyde,z hasn’t itz?” Miyavi greeted and smiled briefly.z His smile,z however,z faltered as he paused for a moment and simply stared at You,z making him feel uneasy.z “..What happened to youz? You’re soaked,z” he finally questioned,z raising an eyebrow.z Hyde silently compared with his soaked self and Miyavi’s presentable and dry state,z laughing softly to himself.z “I don’t feel like talking about it.z Come in,z” Hyde replied and pushed the door wider.z Miyavi stepped inside and glanced around,z placing his umbrella beside the door.
z“Help yourself with anything,z there’s drinks in the fridge.z I’m going to get change,z” Hyde added and brushed past Miyavi,z unaware that he forgot to shut the door properly and headed towards his room.z “Sure…Ano,z Where’s Gacktz?” Myv asked as he sat down on a sofa.z “He just left to drive Kyo and his friend,z right before you came here,z” Hyde answered,z hearing the other softly murmuredz ‘Sou kaz…’ before closing his bedroom door.
He hastily stripped out of his garments and took out a black shirt and a pair of jeans from his wardrobe.z He dressed himself,z took out his keys from his soaked jeans,z and threw the damp clothes onto the bathroom floor,z giving a mental note to do the laundry later.z When he walked back out of the living room,z Miyavi was still sitting at the exact same spot,z his eyes stared distantly at the tall window in front.z The violinist smiled and walked over to the kitchen,z grabbing two bottles of beer from the fridge.z As he entered the living room,z he approached the other from behind and waved one bottle in front of Myv’s face.z He blinked and nodded once,z taking the drink and twisted the lid open.
z“You haven’t changed much,z” Miyavi commented and watched Hyde sitting on a sofa opposite from his.z “Same with you.z You’re still pondering about your own thoughts,z” Hyde spoke and paused,z mimicking the same action that Miyavi did with his bottle and took a sip.z “So what brings you herez?” the violinist asked,z earning a grin from the other.z “Our band dropped by here for a visit,z so I decided to see how things were going with you and the others,z” Myv answered and took a few sips from his beer.z “Krito was planning to come with me,z but he couldn’t come because he had to run a few important errands,z” he added.
Both of them exchanged news about the previous and upcoming events about their band for a while.z Half an hour passed and Hyde wrapped up the latest events of Gackt.z “…then we just finished thez ‘Jougen no Tsuki Tourz’ a few weeks ago and we’re given Gackt some time to think what to do next,z” Hyde finished and gingerly placed the empty beer on the glass table in front.z “I heard the tour was a success.z I’m sure Gackt will come up with something interesting to do in the band,z “Miyavi beamed,z who was idly playing with his empty beer.
Hyde smiled and shook his head,z “I’m sure he will too,z but everytime he does something,z he’ll stress everyone out,z especially himself.z Sometimes,z I would worry about his healthz…”Hyde responded and glanced at the clock.z “…and he should be heading home by now,z” he added and averted his gaze back at Miyavi.z He saw some expression crossed Myv’s face,z maybe fear,z and watched silently as the other placed his empty beer next to his.z “Then I should be going...it was nice seeing you again,z though I would like to see the others next time around,z” Miyavi spoke and stood up abruptly.
He was about to say a brief goodbye when Hyde asked,z “You didn’t just come here…to talk about our band…rightz?” Miyavi lowered his head and stared at the floor,z not wanting to look straight at You.z “..If something’s bothering you,z it’s alright to tell...,z” Hyde replied and stood up as well,z “ Myv—“
“I…I just want to see Gackt one more time,z” Miyavi finally confessed,z looking up at Hyde before he continued,z “I want to see how he was doing before I head back to New York.z”
Hyde felt a pain of guilt,z knowing well that Gackt and Miyavi used to be…lovers.z He didn’t like it in the beginning,z though he never mentioned it to neither of themz; something he kept as a secret.z But both of them had an unsteady relationship.z Sometimes they would be affectionate for a while,z and then would quarrel in the next.z He would always end up as the middle person,z consulting privately with one of them,z usually Miyavi,z that it’ll turn out fine in the end.z Eventually,z they broke up,z not because they can’t stand it anymore,z but Gackt said he didn’t like having a close relationship with band members,z scared that it might ruin the band.z Maybe this is one of the reasons Myv wanted to leave Gackt.z Not only had he wanted to start his own solo works,z but also to get away from Gackt,z or from the past.z Yet,z Hyde was sure that Gackt’s reason was a lie,z hiding the real reason why he broke up with Miyavi,z even from him.
z“I know I shouldn’t of come here,z” Miyavi’s voice interrupted his thoughts as he paid back attention while he continued,z “…but I find it difficult to forget the person you use to love.z” Hyde bit his lower lip,z knowing that Miyavi was beginning to sound desperate.z He was used to these situations.z But this time,z all he wanted was to solve his own,z not others for Miyavi was right.
It is difficult to forget the person he loves.
z“No,z Miyavi,z it’s fine that you came.z It’s not a problem if you wanted to see or talk to him,z” Hyde assured,z feeling something throbbing in his head.z Damn,z he was having a headache and he felt like taking medicine.z He headed over to his bedroom and didn’t notice that he followed behind him.z “No,z it is a problem.z There will be times when I would think back and it’s painful when you can’t meet the person you want to see.z I wish I could just forget,z” Miyavi spoke and sighed in defeat,z sitting down at the edge of Hyde’s bed.
Deciding that it would be best to comfort his friend first and fetch the medicine later,z Hyde sat down and hugged Miyavi.z “I’m so screwed upz…” Myv whispered and wrapped his arms around You,z trying his best not to cry.z Hyde didn’t know what to say,z too lost in his own thoughts and his situation that was very similar to Masasz’.z “Help me,z Hyde,z” Miyavi pleaded as he pulled slightly away to look at Hyde’s face.z You began to hesitate when the smaller man’s face was just a few inches away from his.z “…I need youz…,z” he whispered and pressed his soft lips against his.
Hyde suppressed a shudder and his eyes widen in shock.z He felt confused and thought that Miyavi had affections for Gackt,z not him.z However,z he let himself relaxed and kissed back,z not wanting to think anymore.z Miyavi only wanted to seek comfort,z and he’ll give it if this will make him feel better…even if it felt so wrong.
Their kiss was interrupted when they heard the sound of keys clattering on the floor.z Both of them jerked away from each other and turned to face an astonished Gackt standing at the doorway.z Hyde felt that his heart had stopped and could only stare back at Gackt,z horrified.z “G-Gacktz…” Hyde stuttered,z amazed that he didn’t lose his voice.z He just remembered that he forgot to shut the front door properly and mentally cursed at his careless.z He didn’t have a chance to explain when Gackt hastily turned around and ran out of the apartment.
z“Gacktz! Waitz!” Hyde shouted and shoved Miyavi away,z quickly getting up to his feet and tried to catch up with the other man.z As he ran out of the apartment,z he saw the door to the stairway was about to shut by itself.z Given the hint that Gackt took the staircase instead of the elevator,z he slammed the stairway door open and ran down the stairs.z “Gacktz! Please listen,z Gacktz!” Hyde shouted and tried to run faster.z However,z he started to lose his balance and slipped on one of the steps.z Instantly,z he held onto the railing so he won’t collapsed and roll down the stairs,z wincing as felt something twisted at his left ankle.z He then continued to run down the stairway,z trying his best to ignore the fact that he just twisted his ankle.
When he finally reached to the bottom floor,z he swung the door open and caught glimpse of a familiar car driving out of the parking out.z He silently cursed and bent down to touch his ankle,z panting to catch his breath.z He stayed in that position for a while until he heard the door being swung open again,z turning around to see Miyavi.z “You alrightz?” He asked and was about to bent down to examine his ankle when You shook his head.z “Don’t worry about it.z I’m going to try and catch up to Gackt.z Just stay at my apartment and keep guard,z okayz?” Hyde asked,z glad that he had his car keys with him.z “Alright,z but phone me when you need help,z” Miyavi responded.z Hyde didn’t bother saying anything else as he bolted towards where his car parked and hastily got in.z After turning the engine on,z he hit the gas pedal and drove out of the parking lot in search of Gackt.
But in the end,z he couldn’t find him.
Hyde stared dazedly at the ceiling before getting up from his bed and reaching out from his car keys.z He walked out of his bedroom and glanced at the clock again.z Sighing,z he headed towards the front door,z putting his shoes on and giving another try to just drive around the city.z Maybe he would find him tonight.z He placed his hand on the doorknob and leaned forward to rest his forehead against the door,z thinking of places where he should goz….
/z Gackt,z where are youz? /
z* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Gackt woke up again in the middle of the night.z He was glad the lamp sitting on a nearby desk was turned on,z which helped him see things clearer.z After lying on the bed idly for a while,z he pushed himself up and was happy that he finally had the strength the do so.z He was sitting on an unfamiliar bed and nothing he saw in the room seemed to look familiar.z He paled at the sight,z knowing well that You didn’t bring him herez; he was in another person’s house.
He heard the sound of the doorknob being twisted open and averted his gaze at the door.z He nervously clutched at the bed sheets,z about to find out who brought him here.z The door swung open and the stranger walked in as he looked at Gackt with an unreadable expression.z Gackt gawked for the stranger was a person he least expected to see.z “You’re finally awakez?” The other man asked as he closed the bedroom door.z Gackt took a deep breath before answering back.
z“..Ah,z haiz….Hyde-san.z” He smiled leaning down to kiss his lips softly.z "T..t..the kiss with Miyavi was nothing.z It was nothing at all i promise you that.z My heart my dearest Gackt is yoursz" Gackt looks up from his pillow in to the soft loving eyes of Hyde and softly speaks"Y..y..you brought me herez?" He softly grins and lightly strokes his cheekz "Yes,z yes i did i would do it again too one million times over if i had toz" Gackt leans up and softly but deeply kisses him and falls back on the pillows Hyde comes down too because hes lightly lip locked with Gackt.z He pulls away still unsure and asks"The kiss,z the kiss meant nothing at all to both of you or just you and not himz?" Gackt looks into the eyes again and speaks the deepest words of love in Japanese to Hyde and watches the reaction as he keeps speaking.z His little body rolls off Gackt's and sits there with a stream of soft tears falling from his eyes for even thinking that his Gackt did not love him and care for him as much as he did.z Hyde looks at Gackt and whispersz "Diasku desu,z diasku desu my Gacktz" He sits up a bit and wipes the tiny ones eyes speaking in a way only he could"Do not cry my little one do not cryz" He reaches out for him to be in his arms and waits.z Hyde after a bit wipes his face and lays his head on Gackt's chest softly sighingz" Sometimes i still act like a jealous and spoiled little school boy,z how do you deal with me Gackt samaz?" He smiles being called that and places a soft kiss on the top of his head"Hyde sama you know its not a matter of how do i deal with you.z It is all a matter of how careful i am with your heart I think Miya chan sees how careful i have to be with you sometimes I think Kyo san sees it too I think everyone who steps foot in here or for that matter all of us that live here see and know what you mean to me but sometimes i dont think you do my little onez" he takes a hand through his loves long black hair laying his head on it and softly smiles think of what to say next or waits for the reply that he knows is coming.z Hyde gets a most sad look in his eyes and softly cries a gain"I am a fool,z i am a fool or not even seeing how much i am to you,z how much i mean to you how i am your everything yet i do so little lately these days and yet you still love mez" He once again wipes his eyesz "This is no time for tears this is time for talking or not talking which ever you decidez" A knock at the door distracts Gackt's train of thought as he calls to the door of his place and wonders who in the hell is showing up at this hour and what do they want.z "helloz?...z" The one at the door does not speak but a box loudly makes a thud out side the door making both men jump.z Hyde looks at Gackt like i will get that if you would like then we both can see what it is.z He smiles as in its okay go get it and come back here with it so the surprise can be known.z He hops off the bed and quickly walks to the other side of the room to see what or who left the box and is mostly wondering what is inside this box that the giver did not want to be seen.z Hyde picks up the box after opening the door recognizing the writing as Miyavi's but the seal on the notes envelope being Mana's and runs back to the room holding up the box but pocketing the not to be read later.z "Its not really heavy but its not light either.z" He smiles having a guess it might be a clothing gift from Mana or Miyavi's returning things,z he hands over the box to its owner who with out thought rips it open and grins brightly at what is inside and speaks"It...it..its a gift from Mana sama its a costume like what i wore back when he and I were in Malice Mizer.z I dont know how he found such a beautiful peice.z Hes a wonderful friend,z Hyde this came with no notez?" He blushes for having been caught red handed like a little child who has taken an extra cookie from the plate and nods"There is a note it was Myv's writing on the envelope though and Mana samas seal on it.z I found it odd so i pocketed it in case it was a not from Miyavi and not Mana but as i can see the boxes content it is most deffinately a gift from Mana just dropped off i guessing by Miyavi.z" He lays his head on Gack's leg with a soft smile and tralis his finger up the soft curves of his hip bone and sides with a sweet smirk.z He is noticed and Gackt smiles at him.z "No i have not forgotten you are here.z I am just amazed at the beauty of this gift.z Part of me wants to keep it and part of me wants to return it knowing a gift like this i should not be accepting even if it is a gestur of friendshipz" He looks in Gackt's eyes unsure of what to say and softly speaksz "Keept it for a few days realize who gave it to you and such and if you still dont want it kindly return it and thank him deeply for the kind gesturez" He leans up and softly kisses Gackt's cheek in a deeply loving manor and in a way only he could that would cause him to shiver ever so lightly...
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I am girl who loves gifts!
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