The following may not be suited for the sane or easily offended.

The heroine seems to have had one too many poisonous mushroom to make much sense.

That said, I hope you will enjoy this little tale of mine :3! And no, the heroine do not have a name. Just because.[COLOR="Silver"]

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Day 1

Our story starts a few days ago in the quaint little village of Franklin Point, on the western tip of the Menewshan Island. Our heroine was on a Very Important Mission of finding some wild mushroom for her special potato and mushroom soup (sure to send even the sturdiest fellow into a nasty bout of food poisoning with just one spoonful!) when she set sight upon the largest and most poisonous-looking mushroom she had ever seen, precariously perched upon the cliff of a nearby bay.

“What do I spy? You look quite tasty, little one! Just stay here, I will rescue you!” our heroine cooed, rapidly approaching the unsuspecting spore with a spring in her steps.

Reaching down to grab the future centrepiece of what she hoped would be her next culinary masterpiece, she miscalculated her momentum and ended up falling down the cliff with her newest prize clutched in her hands. She soon lost grip of the spore and crashed painfully on a conveniently placed bush.

“Watch out! You'll fall down again!” She yelled as she spotted mushroom now stuck between two branch of a tree. “Stay here and I'll get you back to safety... again!” That said, she proceeded to get up, marched up to the tree and proceeded to climb it's trunk, rapidly reaching her companion.

Her mushroom secured, she suddenly heard something...

“What was that noise!?” She said, already climbing down her sanctuary to go investigate.

The noise happened to be smugglers arguing between themselves about what seemed to be menewshan black cows.

“That one looks really bad... and what kind of name is “Hocus-Pocus”, anyways? No, it shall be named... Witchy!”
“I think Hocus-Pocus is just fine! And I told you! You should probably bambozzle it.”
“What?”
“Bambozzle it! Put some bamboo on it to make it look better!”
“But it's not even a word you idiot! And...”

“OMG, is that a llama!” The heroine screamed in the highest falsetto she could manage. Taking profit from the ensuing chaos, she took the cows and ran out into the early morning light. Selling those cows in Menewsha would bring enough to buy millions of mushrooms, after all!

A few hours later, well away and enjoying her lunch consisting of nuts she managed to wrestle from some wild squirrel, she was startled by a great banging noise followed by a conflagration in the neighbouring forest. A moment later, a dragon swooped down on one of her cows and used it's talons to trap the cow, soon flying away.

“Oh well, I've got another one. Or a dozen. I wonder what happened to her husband,” the heroine said “I should probably find him and tell him about what happened... nah... bulls are too feisty for me.”

After asking for direction from a local, she managed to find a shelter for the night.

“We shall sojourn in this abandoned barn! I am sure nothing bad could possibly happen to us on this dark and moonless night!” She said, quickly preparing for was would surely be a perfectly calm night.

Day 2

After securing her cows with stakes and ropes she found in her newly appropriated barn, our heroine marched in the woods in search of mushrooms. After gathering a arbitrary amount of the things, she started making sporadic attempts to gather firewood, remembering that a fire would be nice, as it made spores tastier.

As she got deeper into the woods, our heroine stumbled upon a sleeping giant. Thinking that it's helm would do well for a cauldron, she took it and continued her journey.

Soon after, as he woke up, the giant noticed his predicament and started searching for his missing helm 'It was here a moment ago, I know it was!' he thought.

As she walked, she heard a great crash and what seemed to be a muffled 'Hmm, I appear to have gone blind...' Going back to investigate she made a startling discovery when she found a hole in the ground, so deep and strangely round looking that it resembled a well.

“WOAH! That was close!” She said, after nearly falling into it, “Where did that hole come from!” After a few moment of pondering, she deemed the matter irrelevant compared to her stash of mushrooms and got back to the barn. After lighting a fire with flints she found on her way back, she filled her helm with water and put it over the flames. Propping her gathered mushrooms in the makeshift cauldron, she added a few random berries and let it simmer.

All those with a working nose in a 10 miles radius soon remembered this night as the “Nausea Night”. The wolves who thought those cows would make a good dinner had it even worse, promptly passing out near the barn's doors.

After a good meal and a nap, our heroine pushed the wolves out of the way, took her cows and headed east, remembered that there would be more cownapping dragons there, thought about what that would mean for her future stash of mushroom and headed east anyways.

As she reached a road, she was accosted my a giraffe with a feather on it's head.

"Excuse me, could you tell me where I could find a pig, please?" it said, “My name is Rose and I mucked something in my spell so I need to find the regents again to fix it!”
“Do you have mushrooms? I will help you if you give me mushrooms!” Said our heroine, sensing profit to be made from the situation.
“Hm... yes? I will give you as many mushroom as you want if you help me!” The giraffe said, shifting guiltily on it's legs and avoiding eye contact.
“Alright! Follow me!” the heroine said, heading to the nearest farm.

A few mischief and a couple of “borrowing” later, the duo added the final touch for the counter-spell. A moment after completion, the giraffe glowed like a beacon, her elongated limbs shrinking and in their place soon stood a little girl. After the light-show stopped, the young child beamed at the heroine and said; “Thank you so much for your help! Here is your reward!” Stuffing a bundle in her savior's hands, the child ran away as fast as her leg could carry her, soon disappearing in the woods.

Inspecting her spoils, our heroine soon found that the bundle in question was a rice ball made of the local red rice. “Hey! That's not a mushroom! But it does have a nice, porous feel to it...” Taking a bite, she soon realized her mistake: it was filled with custard! She was allergic to sugar!

Soon, she felt strangely weightless and fell, unconscious.

Groggily awakening a few hours later, she felt that she should abandon her dodgy ways and live a logical and industrious life. Taking the cows she stole the day prior, she set out for the nearest village to start her life as a honest merchant.

As nightfall approached, our heroine came back from her seizure and promptly took strangely substantial and precious wares, got back her cows and set her sight to go to Menewsha to sell all the things she could get her hand on for mushrooms. She didn't like when she had her allergic fits!

She really had to be careful of what she ate from now on, too, as she learned that textures could be deceiving.