I Think Now I Loved You

Months past,
We both know our friendships long gone
But there's something deep down
that's not letting me move on
These feelings of regret,
emotions still too strong
We said best friends till the end
But I think we had it wrong

So long after,
These feelings still remaining
But I'm understanding a little better
I'm not missing my best friend,
I'm not missing just another boy
I'm missing the man who turned my world around
These feelings of regret,
emotions still too strong
We said best friends till the end
But I think we had it wrong.

Scary to realize,
Between us was nothing physical
But seemingly innocent hugs
If more had ever happened
My feelings now
My emotions then
Would have become unbearable
These feelings of regret,
emotions still too strong.
We said best friends till the end
But I think we had it wrong.

No explanation,
We weren't an item to breakup
No one ever said goodbye
We were perfect, we fit
You left with no reason why
These feelings of regret,
emotions still too strong.
We said best friends till the end
But I think we had it wrong

I'm tired of this fight,
'Cause I've learned I'm fighting with myself
The confusion, the denial
What's left now but to admit
No more lies, no more tricks
'Cause I'm feeling and I'm knowing
It's the absence,
the familiarity I'm missing
We said best friends till the end
But I think we had it wrong
Our friendship wouldn't last,
Because our love was just too strong.

And you feared that.

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((Well Now it is "Poems" not "A Poem."))

Interpretation

Shaking on sturdy ground,
bare movement.
A voice cuts through dampened air,
silent, with no sound.

But what do I know?
No secrets have not,
but promised lies.
Our own truths burn false,
in another's eyes.

All dreams are nightmares,
for they are not real.
Each success a mistake,
a mocking test.

But what do I know?
No secrets have not,
but promised lies.
Our own truths burn false,
In another's eyes.

----------

Murdered

And so she killed the boy
Her identity reeks murder
Slain down
With his pulse deep inside of her
Dark morning skies
Stars are but the path
Of the deep lies she’s told
To bring upon this day
His body in front of her
Chest pacing with each heart beat
His broken heart leaks tears
Becoming frozen in time
Against rough skin
No weapon but ones heart
Fights the defence of another’s
When one gives all defence up
Nothing left to counter
And so she killed the boy.

----------

There’s a Reason

There’s a reason for how things played out,
There’s a purpose to why I’m here
There’s understanding greater than ourselves,
There’s wisdom to gain through the years.

Things won’t always make sense,
No explanation clearly stated
It’s in these moments we must find,
An acceptance, the truth being overrated

A time when you feel you stand alone
No security to keep you grounded
The world should stop,
the world should cry
But it tends to carry on all too blind

There’s a reason for how things played out,
There’s a purpose to why I’m here
There’s understanding greater than ourselves,
There’s wisdom to gain through the years.

Joy in a moment you wish to hold forever
The bliss tampered and in time forgotten
Have will to hold strong to life’s smiles
For it’s in those reasons there’s always hope

Stepping forward is an adventure half foretold
What must be done, when to move on
when to back down or to hold strong
A step in which a prints already made
Following is what keeps us able

There’s a reason for how things played out,
There’s a purpose to why I’m here
There’s understanding greater than ourselves,
There’s wisdom to gain through the years.