One week to prove to you that I can take care of Yan? I only need a day. What are these other people doing, feeding him once in the whole week? Maybe not, but can you know that? Here I'm going to show you how I can make just one day extra magical and fun for a Baby Yan. Imagine how a whole week could be with me as as his caregiver! I'm not providing you with a whole week, though, because I'm making a statement!

All pictures are in the next post two posts, so no index is necessary, but I can add one if you like.

Day One: The Only Day

My Baby Yan showed up today! I knew how much he liked flowery shorts, so before I took his picture I offered to make him a pair. He had a lot of creative input on them.
"What about some nice pastels on a faded background? Very pastoral. Retro," I suggested.
"MAEK THEM BLUU AND PURPLE! :D" Yan commanded, and so I did. He then later dictated that they have tiny yellow stars.
"Alright, Yan. I think these are as tacky as they can get."
"ON BLAK BACKROWN!"
"Okay, now they're as tacky as they can get."
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"WUTS FOR DINAR?" Yan asked. Nevermind the fact that it was still quite early - much too early for dinner. But my mother had just cut up some meat for dinner, so I let him have a look at that. (Don't worry, there's saran wrap over it! He's not touching raw meat under my watch!)
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As I put up the meat, I was explaining to him how I'm vegetarian, but that I respect that he isn't and he can eat something other than what I do. But as I turned back around I found that while I had been doing that, he had been a bit naughty and gotten into my ice cream...
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Don't worry, though. It's actually frozen yogurt, so it's not that bad for him (just don't tell him that!)


After that, it was time to play Elephants and Dinosaurs! The dinosaur won, of course.
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"I DUN WANT 2 BRAG BUT I AM A REELY GOOD NEENJA," Yan then said.
"Oh really?"
"YA, U COUNT I GO HIED!"
I then found Yan stripped down to better blend in with my shelf of white things. How clever of him. See? He's getting smart already.
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But don't think that Yan's stay with me would be all food and games! I also plan to introduce Yan to lots of culture (in small doses so he doesn't get bored). To start off, we took a few moments to admire my Vincent Van Gogh print. He made a comment about the size of the women's butts, so I'm gonna go ahead and count that as art appreciation.
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Apparently all the culture made Yan a little restless though...
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Yan! Get out of there!


Well, apparently he's got a bit of masculine energy he needs to burn off, so I set him up with the two most violent video games I own, James Bond and Silent Hill. He was quite happy with that.
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Yes, that's a spinny-chair. :cool:


"I WAN BE NEENJA AGAIN!" Yan said.
"We already did that! Don't you want to do something else?" I asked.
"NO. JAMS BUND TEECH ME THINGS. I BE GOOD HIDER NAO," Yan said. So I decided to humor him... Turns out he did learn a thing or two. He decided to try out disguises and hiding in plain sight.
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I can't say that it was very effective, though.


Next up? Potty training! Yeah, we mastered this in an hour. I'm that good.
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(He insisted on the sunglasses)


Next Yan wanted to sign up for a Facebook account like "all the other cool kids."
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Unfortunately, he didn't meet the age restrictions. I'll let him play Mafia Wars on my account.


Too much internet will make your brain rot! So I thought coloring would be a good way to work on Yan's hand-eye coordination while still being fun.
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He decided to draw Charlie Brown and Linus as punks.


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He begged to...
(I forgot to include my username in that one, but you can see my dresser in previous shots. How many other people have teal dressers?)


Next it was time to put Yan down for a nap. All that playing in my panty drawer really tuckered the little guy out. So I read him my favorite children's story from when I was little and soon he was sleeping like... well, like a baby.
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Once he woke up, he was well-rested but a little groggy, so I got him a cup of coffee. He particularly liked this mug for the doggie on it.
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Then Yan wanted to help my mother cook her dinner. He was quite helpful!
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Buuut after a while he got bored with cooking. So we went to go watch a movie instead. I thought he'd like For a Few Dollars More since Clint Eastwood's such a BAMF. And I was right, Baby Yan loved it.
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Finally, dinner was done! Yan wanted to try my "veggamarion" food, so I let him have a serving of my dish. He loved it! Ate every bite.
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But would you believe that after that he was still hungry? The meal my mother made was still in the kitchen, so I offered him a little of that. I knew he was looking forward to having that ham. I offered him a fork, but he preferred to eat with the serving spoon, straight from the pan.
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I waited an hour after this to give him a dessert, because I didn't want to overfeed the little guy. But by then he was begging for a treat. He had already had some ice cream earlier in the day, so I thought he might like to have a bit of chocolate. Whoa, whoa, not that much, Yan!
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After all that food, not even the coffee was enough to keep Yan awake. He was ready for bed, so I offered to read him a story. He agreed on the condition that I not read him any "keedie" books anymore. So I picked my favorite grown up book. Yeah, Baby Yan got some Orwell.
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Yan drifted off to dreamland as I told him of doublethink, newspeak and five minutes hate. Sleep tight, little guy!
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Day Two: The Second Only Day

You didn't really think that was it, did you? Ha, fooled you!

The heat and rain had kept me and Yan cooped up indoors for the first day. It showered a bit today, but Yan was just dying to go out and explore my backyard. And, well, the rain had made it significantly cooler, if damper. So I outfitted him with a custom made rain coat (and his sunglasses, of course!) so he wouldn't get all soggy and out we went!

First we went out to my garden where Yan got to sniff some trumpet lillies. If you've never smelled these before, let me tell you they're quite fragrant!
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Next Yan spied some my dangly vines. He asked if he could climb them "LIEK TARZAN," but I said no. He might break the vines, fall, or worse, pull the pot down on him! It's a heavy pot, that would really hurt! But did Baby Yan listen? No, of course not.
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But don't worry, nothing bad happened. He had quite a bit of fun swinging around like a little white monkey.


Next I took Yan over to look at the dense groundcover in a different garden. Although it's pretty short, only Yan's eyes could peek out from up top!
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Hidey-ho, neighbor!


Earlier today Yan had been looking out my window and noticed all the wildlife in my backyard. That was what had spurred his interest in going outside in the first place! I had to explain to him that wild animals are afraid of people because they don't know we won't hurt them. But Yan noticed a few bunnies still lounging in the back of the yard and he wanted to go meet them. I told him we wouldn't be able to get close enough to touch them, but if we were really slow and careful, we could get pretty close. Yan was very well behaved and kept quiet and sloooowwly crept towards the bunny with me.
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Can you tell how close we are?


After that, Yan was giddy. He wanted to meet the "tree kittanz" he kept seeing out the window. I told him those were squirrels, but I would have to go inside if he wanted to meet those.
"Can you be really still?" I asked him.
"YA!" He said.
"Really really still?"
"YA!!!!!"
So I set Yan down by the base of the squirrels favorite tree and went inside. I stood just inside the door and was watching carefully. If anything happened, all I'd have to do is open the door and any animals would run off. Yan was safe!
He sat at the trunk for a while before a squirrel came carefully edging down the tree. The squirrels were a little scared of him, but quickly got used to him and soon they were eating right next to him! I put my camera on 12x zoom and was able to take a bunch of shots. Here's the best one!
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It's a little blurry and faded because of the high zoom, but it was the only option.


After a while the squirrels left so I went out to get Yan.
"Did you have fun with the squirrelies?" I asked.
"TREE KITTANZ!" Yan said, bouncing up and down. He was quite happy to have met those squirrels! Next I showed him this neat moonflower seedpod. It looks alien, doesn't it?
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Yan thought it was really cool. He named it Herbert for some reason.


"Hey, Yan! Come check these out!" I said, beckoning Yan up to the patio to look at the herb garden. "These plants smell really nice!" Yan sniffed the basil and he sniffed the rosemary. He thought they smelled so nice, and he wanted to know where he could get a cologne that smelled like that.
"I don't think they make colognes like that, Yan," I said. "But if you touch them, you'll smell like them a little bit!" No sooner had the words left my mouth, Yan was climbing up into the herb garden and rustling around in the plants. I must admit, he smells quite good now.
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After this, Yan discovered some "outside carpet" in the form of some shaggy moss. He had a lot of fun petting it.
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He played by our little pond...
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Climbed on our wagon wheel...
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Discovered my bike... (That's not how you ride a bike, Yan!)
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... and dangled from the windchimes.
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"DINGEE DINGEE DINGEE!!"

I think he had a lot of fun exploring the backyard!

YAN SUCCESSFULLY ADOPTED!