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ThyFaerieQueen
Chase the Morning, Yeild for Not...
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#1
Old 02-07-2010, 02:49 AM

Beforehand Notes: Hey Everyone, it's Princess Cupcake here. So next month, there's going to be a Fan-fiction contest at my library. And I thought, "Hey, I can do pretty good writing! Let's see what I can do!" So I started writing this. I'll probably post it on fan-fiction once I'm done with it, but for right now, the parts will be updated here on Menewsha. Please critique, that's what keeps me alive with my writing. Don't be gentle. Anyway, this it it. Enjoy!


Tea And Love- It's Complicated
A Dramione Fanfiction

Ding. Dong.

The baritone chime of the bell rang its song four times before falling to silent sleep again. Hermione Granger looked up from her leather-bound volume of secret lore to check the time on grandfather clock that stood in the farthest corner of the musty library. “4 o’clock already?” The fifth year student asked herself, before shrugging her shoulders and accumulating her belongings from the mahogany table.

Time passed so quickly these days between advanced classes, studying and DA meetings with Ron, Harry, and the rest of the army. But not right now. Right now, little white specks of powdered sugar danced in hushed whispering winds from the grey clouds above. Right now, the normal schedule was wiped away, leaving gaping hours of blissful nothingness. Right now, it was Christmas break, and Hermione had the hallowed halls of Hogwarts all to herself.

Perhaps not all to herself for a few minutes later as the beauteous brunette walked down the hallway, nose her book once again, she didn’t notice where she was going. Because of her absent-mindedness, the fiery Gryffindor princess didn’t see the ice prince of Slytherin as he strolled down the hallway in deep thought. As fate would have it, this was the day when everything would change for these two students from entirely different worlds.

OOF!

The collision set the two stumbling back, text and papers flying everywhere. Hermione dropped her book as she looked into the silver grey eyes of Draco Malfoy, Slytherin’s beloved Quidditch Seeker and top student. He seemed surprised, his manner demeaning, but only for a split second as he quickly turned to his more natural behavior of arrogance and all-mighty pompousness.

“Watch where you’re going, you filthy mudblood!” The sharp words which arose from the young aristocrat’s mouth left a foul taste in the air. All these years the pattern remained the same; it started with a slight moment that could have been ignored, only to have spiteful comments thrown back and forth. When mixed with knowledge dangerous and devious hexes, the two intelligent students would resort to the old-fashioned way of dueling, and soon got pulled apart by their professors.

Nothing had changed much in the past five years, or so it seemed to Hermione. She was a different girl- no, young woman- from the former years. Gone was the frizzy and fizzy hair of when we were first introduced to this young Einstein; the once oaken bird nest was now a silken sea of chestnut curls. Her teeth were perfectly proportioned, a sparkling white. The once small child was slowly growing into an hourglass figure that already had hormones going with the older boys on the campus. And her eyes; Hermione’s eyes seemed to have slightly enlarged, making the whole look of her face more innocent, more naïve. Those liquid amber orbs could hypnotize and render a grown man tongue-tied, if only their owner knew how to practice that sort of magic.

“You stupid twat! Look at what you’ve done now.” Hermione bent down to gather all her chattels that had been carelessly scattered onto the cold stone floor of the hallway. She muttered to herself as the feathered quills and rolls of parchment were religiously restored into the black messenger bag.

“I hope Professor Snape doesn’t take points off for cleanliness,” Hermione fretted as she extended her slender arm to pick up her book, only to have it given by Malfoy, who was also on his hands and knees in the ocean of stationary supplies.

“If you use a revamping charm, it will look as good as new.” Said Malfoy, his voice not holding the traditional aloofness that seemed to infiltrate his aura.

Hermione’s mouth gaped open slightly, her eyes widening. She didn’t understand this boy’s abnormal demeanor; it wasn’t the way he held himself. She didn’t know how to respond to it, so she did not respond at all. The two silently cleaned up the disarray they caused. Once the floor was freed of their litter, Malfoy stood up, Hermione following like a shadow.

“I’m sorry,” was the strange reply that flew off Malfoy’s tongue. What could Hermione say to that? Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger were so different, like east from west and night from day. How could the tables turn so quickly to show a face of the Slytherin Prince that she hadn’t seen before? “Could I make it up to you with a cup of tea in the Great Hall?” He asked, totally sincere in his question.

“I-I,” Hermione stammered uncertainly. Did she really want to go with the blonde boy? Malfoy was viperous and vile; his reputation proving that he was acting nice, and then it was only for his fair-weathered purpose. Could he intend to lure her to a secluded spot and do unmentionable acts or even worse, hand her over to the Dark Lord? Hermione’s mind then asked a question that was obscure; was her fear inhibiting her from jumping at an opportunity to get to know Malfoy better?

Hermione knew she was going to pay for this later as she accepted Draco Malfoy’s offer for afternoon tea.

~~~

x_cannibalisticcows
Just call me Hachiko...
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#2
Old 02-07-2010, 11:35 PM

I adore it. :]

At points, it seems like your explanation of things can drag on too long - though it's not too bad, and nowhere near unbearable. But when describing things, if you want to do it in detail pick out things you think the reader will want to hear about, or are more significant to the story - not just random ramblings about the snow, or all the crevasses in the cracked spine of the old, worn leather bound spell book. Get my point?

I don’t know your plans for future chapters, but it would be great to see Draco’s side of view during this whole incident – to see why he suddenly became Mr. Nice Draco.

Keep up the good work – and wish you luck in the fan-fiction contest!

Mehrana
Lack of Fashion Sense
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#3
Old 04-12-2010, 10:35 PM

This is great- it's not very often I find a Draco/Hermione fic that's worth reading. I like it- keep it up! :D

Mizayo
The Embodiment of Geekiness
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#4
Old 04-17-2010, 12:27 AM

I like it too. Please keep working on it. I'd love to see what hapens next. Sorry, I don't know how I could help you to make it better. I don't see anything wrong with it. ;)

ThyFaerieQueen
Chase the Morning, Yeild for Not...
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#5
Old 04-17-2010, 12:32 AM

OhMyGawd, people like it!! T.T That's so great. I haven't done anymore than this. I could go back to working on it once summer starts... We'll see...

 


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