I've been trying to continue writing this for months already, but everytime I do I just freeze, experience writer's block. I think one of the reason is I'm not comfortable with the amount of research I have done for the story. It is supposed to have some depth of crime and syndicate movement, but I just can't interest myself on those topics...

Anyways, please, if you have time, please tell me your thoughts or critique. I'm not really concerned with destructive criticisms becaue they are actually more helpful than constructive praises like "GOod Jobz!" But since the rules have stated constructive criticsms are a must, fine, but please don't make the critiques shallow...

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PART I

“Anne,� he murmured, gently nudging the girl from her peaceful sleep. She rewarded him with mutters as faint as the wind, yet she still indulged her rest. “Anne,� he shook her once again as his mouth frowned. “Wake up.�

Carefully, her eyes peered under her lashes, still craving for more rest. “Ryan… what are you doing here…?� the girl’s voice rusty, “you should sleep… you’ll need it tomorrow.�

He hated tomorrow. The one he loved and protected would be no more tomorrow. After this night turned into a day, he would leave, gone to parents that he had always wished during his birthdays.
Alone, she’d be alone again, and Ryan didn’t like that. He was scolded for being a selfish, unruly brat, and never did he argue. But Anne saw her in a different view. She was the only person to see through him, collected all his pain and frustrations and eased them away. He promised not to make her cry, not even a single tear, and anyone who dared would taste his raw knuckles.
This night, with its cold wind and sparkling stars, was the last time he would see her face, the last time he could touch her, be with her. A coarse whisper of her name came out from his mouth, and he wondered when he would see her like this once again. His beautiful Anne, eased by the moon’s graceful lullaby. He would miss her like this. Gently, he ran his hand through her golden strands of beauty. So soft, so very soft and cool.

“Ryan…�
As he faintly smiled, he whispered her name once more. Tracing her cheek with his fingertips, he felt the cold yet soft skin. “Anne, wake up. I have to show you something.�

Finally, she weakly rose from the bed, rubbing her sleepy eyes. It was another chilly night, so she held the sheets and cocooned it around her body, warming herself as she looked unto his eyes. He was aware that she was twisting her head left and right, checking if any of the other sleeping girls on their beds noticed him, but her face held his gaze so tightly. Those blue orbs, they were the brightest and most beautiful gems he had seen. One look at them and you could feel the emotions pouring out, so compelling that you’d have no choice but to comfort her if she was sad, or laugh with her if she was happy, or fight for her if she was afraid. That had been what he had done for four years inside this orphanage, and he’d be damned dead first before he regretted it.

“What… is it?�

Little disappointment lowered Ryan’s brows. “You forgot?�

Intently, she still stared at his eyes as she shook her head. That disappointment vanished quickly into nothing. The smile exposed itself once more.
“Let’s go out from this room,� he turned his head left then right, then back. Even in the darkness, he knew he had to be careful. He was not safe. This was the girls’ quarters. If one would wake up and spot him, the trouble would be too scary to say. “Anne, let’s go outside for a while.�

“But we’re not allowed to go outside at this time. You’re not supposed to be here too. If they see us… we’ll be in big trouble.�

Ryan knew the consequences, knew it perfectly, but he did not care. This would be his last night in this orphanage, and after that, he wouldn’t be coming back for God knew how long. But Anne didn’t think of that. Patience, he thought, he needed it. No way would he snap at Anne. He’d kill himself first.
“Please,� he spoke vulnerably with a frown. Desperation was very powerful in a single word.

She looked at him sympathetically, and he saw her frown as well. He had really meant it. “I—yes, let’s go outside,� she finally agreed.

Before they could make their move, footsteps suddenly loomed closer and closer. Both of them knew what it meant, but he had a confident expression on his face while Anne was surprised. Quickly, he whispered to rest her head back to the pillow, to pretend she was asleep. After she nodded her head, he flawlessly slid beneath the bed.
The door slowly creaked as it opened, streaking a beam into the room, lighting the other beds. Ryan felt the danger, yet he was sure he was safe. He had studied this room a day ago and found out that the light wouldn’t be enough to reach Anne’s bed—he wouldn’t be seen. It was Sister Marybelle who was in-charge for room patrol this night, and that was great since Sister Marybelle only peaked through doors as her inspection.
When the nun was gone and had closed the door, soundlessly, he rolled on the floor until he was no longer hidden by the furniture. He ran his hand through Anne’s blond hair once more, and like a signal, she opened her eyes. He had always loved her golden hair, how soft and untangled it felt with a stroke. There was a time he spent a sleepless night with nothing in his mind but the texture of it.

“Ryan, Sister Marybelle—she’ll find out. She’ll check your room. What if she doesn’t see you?�

Ryan raised an eyebrow. “She wouldn’t. Trust me. The boys’ quarters are always checked first.� He searched for her hand, and when he found it, the warmth skipped his heart faster. The delicate fingers and baby-smooth texture of her palm was silk over his rough skin. God, was there anything he wasn’t crazy about her?
“Let’s go,� he dragged her out of bed.

Anne wasn’t willing as they sneaked and tiptoed during their temporary escape, yet as time moved on she felt more relaxed and determined. She mentioned to him that this was like a spy movie. Ryan gave her a chuckle for that. Innocence was always shy and innocent Anne, from meeting new orphans to talking with the nuns. But Ryan knew Anne for years already and he noticed she had also the blood for thrills.
They passed hall after hall, with their feet silent on the floor. The door would be locked, so he led her to a row of windows with one without glass. When they were already outside, they trailed on grass and fallen leaves, each step created faint rustles. This orphanage, as Ryan always saw, was like next to a mini forest.
And then, they reached their destination—the lake. At the sight of it, Anne looked breathless. Ryan noticed her reaction and he had, very much, guessed of it. No, he wished for it. The scenery in front of them was too beautiful, delicate and romantic that even the meanest bully would turn soft.

Calmly observed by trees, the river, bluer than blue, stretched and unsoiled, caught the moon’s scattered reflections, creating speckles that shined like precious jewels. Glowing fireflies hazed near the grown grasses, freely floating and flying. Shadows streaked deep and dark, and the moon watched beneath attentively.

Anne, still struck with wonder, stood there with opened mouth until Ryan fondled for her hand and stared deep, very deep into her eyes. The sweet moment, the warmth of her touch, and the beautiful lake, were all so overwhelming. His body moaned more of that warmth and he could think of nothing but to find the only medicine that had always sunk inside his skull. Her lips, he needed them, needed them as he needed air. His head drifted, closer and closer, until he could feel her warm breaths. And then, with closed eyes, their lips pressed together, shyly, awkwardly. It was a dream came true, a dream that had always itched him whenever he’d take sight of Anne’s perfect face.
It was his first kiss. And he knew it was Anne’s first kiss also.
Their lips parted, yet the magic was still there, burning like hot embers. Ryan still felt the knee-weakening shivers inside, and by looking at Anne’s marvelous blue eyes, he knew she felt the same.

“Anne,� he whispered, caught himself touching her hair again. “I’ll miss you.�

“I’ll miss you too,� her voice was low, broken. Ryan didn’t like that. He didn’t want her to feel that way.

He moved his hands to her cheeks, sliding his fingers until he cupped her face. “I promise; we’ll see each other. I’ll find a way to come back. Just trust me.�

Hesitantly, she nodded. They then sat on the grass, gazed at the fireflies dancing next to the lake. The wind was cold.

“Where will you live?� she asked as her eyes fastened at the mesmerizing lake.

“Las Vegas. That guy who will be my father seems nice.�

“Oh.�

Ryan frowned. “I’ll visit this orphanage, Anne. Las Vegas isn’t that far away from Oklahoma.� He wasn’t actually sure, but he didn’t want her sad when he was already gone.

“What will you do there?�

“I don’t know… I think I won’t be going to High School. I’m already seventeen.�

“Oh.�

Silence soon lingered. The fireflies were undisturbed, mirrored by the river. The wind blew once more and it was still freezing.
“Anne,� finally, he spoke after a while had passed, breaking the awkward quietness. “I have to tell this to you...� His heart pounded so loud it rang inside his ears. He cleared the lump on his throat. “Anne, I love you...�

She looked at him, face surprised. Ryan felt like passing out. But at the sight of her smile, a bright not sad smile, he felt the courage to be still breathing. �I love you too.�

He swore the land must have twisted into knots, but it didn’t. Then her voice hummed inside her brain.
She loved him. Yes, she loved him! God, he was so happy! He wanted to scream it to this lake that Anne loved him, scream until he panted. His smile was so wide it cracked his face. This love he felt would never change and he was sure of that. His hand searched for hers, missing the feeling of her contact, and when he found it, she locked her fingers tightly around his. Her eyes as blue as this lake were gleaming.
Unable to resist, he kissed her lips again. It could be his new addiction. He wanted it to be.

“Remember my promise, Anne. I will never forget it.�

She nodded.

The night drifted in its normal pace, yet so elusive in its perfunctory act. But before it wasted away to nothing, face to face with eyes holding both of their hopes and sorrows, they vowed near in that enchanted lake that their paths would cross again, would intersect together with their love unharmed and untainted. The vow sealed by guiltless smiles.
Soon, they returned to the orphanage, and said their goodbyes. Anne knew it would be the last.
She returned to her room, dropped her weight on the bed. She didn’t sleep, and couldn’t sleep. When the sun finally arrived, Anne could not think of anything but the boy who gave her first kiss.
She knew Ryan already left.

PART II

“Boss,� the burly beast said with a husky voice as he scratched his bald head, “what’s the plan?�

Ryan looked at the hefty gangster, then to the other thugs inside the chaotic room. They all were worn in jackets or torn shirts, making them look more suspicious than they already were. If jailers caught them, their asses would be pretty bruised. Ryan wouldn’t be included, of course. He was dressed in a casual shirt and denim. “You go to business, carry the money and leave. Simple as that,� he replied with a finality tone. “Business has been moved to next week.�

“Sounds good,� this time the thinnest thug had spoken, exposing his yellowish, crooked teeth. “But I hear the cops are on to you.�

The calm eyes suddenly shifted into angered slits. That slip up that happened few weeks ago nearly sent him to jail. There was no sign that the cops knew of the drug exchange until pistols were fired, but he was damn lucky enough to escape. He knew the police had already interrogated his men, milking answers that would lead to him. According to a discrete source, there was already a growing bridge. Ryan was now sure another mistake would confirm his suspicion.
“If you have nothing useful to say then shut the hell up.� With that, the room became silent.

A composed voice broke it,�just to be sure, Ry, do we have plan B if the police finds out about the meeting?�

A one-sided smirk appeared on Ryan’s face. Zack Whittaker, probably the only guy inside in this room he considered decent in appearance. And the only guy he could call a friend. Zack’s T-shirt and jeans looked clean, unlike these goons with bandanas and biker costumes. “Robert will not give me more men for this arrangement. He has his own deals. If the cops find out, then Plan B is to spit as many bullets our guns can take.� It wasn’t the best plan, but it was better than nothing.

“That isn’t exactly a safe one. I’m sure you have something that won’t be a trouble.�

Ryan’s eyebrow arched. He was annoyed. “I’m the boss here and when I say that’s what Plan B is, then that is Plan B!� There was no reply, and the slick newbie was muted. Good. “Anymore stupid questions?�
There was none.
“Good. Now get your asses out of here.�

“Wasn’t a good plan,� Zack spoke out sternly as the thugs exited the room, full of metal parts and pieces. Zack’s nose was red, Ryan observed, he was probably allergic to dust. This abandoned warehouse had dust like snow. “I’m sure you could have thought of something better.�

Ryan was feeling that annoyance climb up again but he pounded it down. “You don’t give up, don’t you?�

“When I know it’s a failure, I don’t.�

He snickered. “Just shut it. I know what I’m doing.� He trod away and he knew the newbie would follow him. And so Zack did. Their footsteps echoed as they continued walking. His strides hurried and Zack had to keep up.
Ryan was unexpectedly excited. And happy. He rarely was happy.
Finally, after years and years of waiting, he could finally do his promise to someone who never failed to twitch his heart.
He would finally see his beautiful Anne again. The small picture inside his pocket suddenly screamed attention.

Once they were outside the abandoned warehouse, Ryan turned around and faced Zack. “Hey, I want you to take care of those thugs when I’m gone.� The title should have been given to someone who already spent years cracking this business, but as far trustworthiness had gone, this Zack Whittaker was the only one who looked decent enough.

“Where are you going exactly?� Zack replied, his gray eyes flickered curiosity. He was struggling with another sneeze.

“Oklahoma,� he said with a big grin. Ryan saw a black eyebrow rise.

“Oklahoma? Oh.� Zack grinned back. “You mean to fetch her.�

Damn yes, he would, Ryan said to himself.
Yes, he wanted to see Anne again, to see those gorgeous big eyes once more, to feel her velvety blond crown of glory. Just the thought of it made his heart thump faster. Every dream was filled of Anne next to him, with her soft hands locked with his, and her desirable mouth curved into a breathtaking smile. He loved her to death and he would shout it to the world if she wanted to.
Ryan pushed a hand inside his jeans’s pocket, feeling something inside.

“I want to meet this Miss Cooperling. If you always babble how beautiful she is, then she must be. You better not give me disappointment.�

Ryan laughed. “If you want to steal her, I’m going to make sure you’ll die with my hands.�

“What if I don’t listen?�

“You think I’m not serious?� Ryan’s brows shot up.

“You’re dead serious.�

“That’s the answer.� Ryan lowered his head and glanced at his golden wristwatch. He still had to buy a ticket to Oklahoma and a gift. The ideal gift that spun inside his brain weakened his knees and crooked his mouth. “Hey, newbie. Don’t have a ride?�

“I have. My motorcycle is just there.�

“Then I’m ditching you.�

“Bye then. Good luck with wooing Miss Beautiful Anne.�

“I don’t need your luck,� Ryan said. “And be a good a drug lord for me.�

***

She had viewed this handy picture of a smiling Ryan Kinsly for the thirty-second time for this week, but even now she hadn’t grown tired. Ever since he mailed them with a new letter, Anne had no ability to forget, in fact she sneaked it inside the pocket of her apron whenever she attended her work in Cal’s diner. The picture showed a gorgeous man donned in snow-sprinkled winter wear and the most handsome grin she had seen in her entire life. She remembered when they were still youngsters Ryan rarely showed that kind of grin to anyone but her. She also remembered in that breathtaking lake, when she was still sixteen, he showed a deeper kind of grin that caught the rare glints in his dark blue eyes. She missed seeing the real one.

Communication through mails wasn’t enough, but Anne dared not to intrude Ryan’s life now that it was burgeoning very near to happiness. He deserved it. He had had told her of his painful past, and she understood every sad detail. Though, life was unfair, and it made her wonder when would time give her the same treatment.

Tired but still well, Anne looked at the boxes and other supplies that occupied insufficiently the storage room. Inventory needed replenishment, and Cal was outside attending the matter. After this, she would go to the counter then attend to her daily routine in this diner, as the one in-charge of the orders.

“Anne,� a weary voice emerged behind her. When Anne turned around it was Corrine, the younger sister of this diner’s owner. Corrine stood near the opened door with arms folded together and impatiently straightened lips. Corrine was worn in simple white shirt and faded jeans. Her sandals tapped the floor repeatedly as she looked at Anne. “Sorry, but I really need help. People are still piling up.�

Agreeing, Anne nodded. Even after the afternoon rush hour, hungry people and commonly, truckers, would flock in this diner for the obvious reason. Anne also noted that even though Corrine was a nice woman she was usually silent and had limited patience. Anne hadn’t bonded with Corinne ever since she got the job but she could tell.
“Um, I’m sorry,� Anne followed Corrine as she proceeded away from the room. “I was checking the inventory.�

“That’s okay. Listen, let’s just finish this up. I have to meet David, shop for groceries and fetch Adrianne from school.�

As Anne faced Corrine she could tell Corrine was an exhausted wife. Corrine’s ebon eyes had no luster with dark bags hanging below them. Her brown hair lacked gloss, and she stood with a flimsy posture. Anne felt somewhat sympathy for her. “I understand.� Anne then continued on her work.
There were still a number of hungry customers, and more and more were coming in. She busied herself until someone called out her name.

“Anne,� a bearded man said. It was Cal, walking in while desperately balancing at least a dozen of boxes in his arms. Cal was like a male version of Corrine. “Could you please help me out with this a little bit? There’s still more outside.�

She accepted a few of the boxes, and together with Cal they placed them in the storage room. “I have to tell you something, Anne. Would it be okay if I move your paycheck for this week into next week? My mom has been hospitalized because of heart attack, and the money will be used for the bill.�

Anne pushed her disappointment away. “Of course. I hope she is all right.�

Cal was silenced for seconds and frowned. “You should get back to the counter. Corrine’s having a bad day.�

“Okay,� walking away, Anne muttered, then sighed. For this week, she had no money. She hoped Mrs. Timbleton could still understand her situation and not driver her away from the modest apartment. Mrs. Timbleton was a nice woman and Anne was sure of the woman’s consideration. As for the food expenses, well, she should probably skip meals. It wasn’t like she hadn’t done it a few times before.

“Anne,� called Corrine, her usual weary expression different. “Straighten yourself. The health inspector is here.�

“Huh…?�

“Look there,� Corrine pointed with her surprised dark eyes. Anne turned around and saw the flashy red car clearly standing out from the delivery trucks. Never had that type of car parked outside the diner so Corrine might have been right.
The car door opened, revealing a man bespectacled with shades. He was worn in a denim jacket with matching jeans, and his styled blond hair burned golden beneath the sun.
Health inspectors had regular uniforms, didn’t they?

“This one must be good-looking,� smirking, Corrine said.
Anne was aloof. She did not know why Corrine proclaimed that but Anne didn’t find the showoff good-looking. There was only one good-looking man in her life, and it would never change. That someone was the gorgeous Ryan Kinsly.

As the bell jingled when the stranger pushed the diner’s door, the customers looked in unison, obviously troubled by the aura entering the room. The aura was money. Anne was also troubled. Never had she seen a rich one enter this diner and she had worked here months already. Anne didn’t know if the ‘health inspector’ looked at her or not beneath the shades but she was sure he grinned at her direction. His teeth were very straight, very white and very clean.
He walked closer, his polished black leather boots creating this sound filled of tension.

�May I order, miss?� he asked with his grin still in place. Suddenly, Anne’s blue eyes grew so wide she didn’t know if she could still close them.
That voice…. That voice—

“Of course. What is your order, sir?� Corrine answered.

“One Anne Cooperling.�

“Ryan!�

its really good please keep writing :D
i love ryan's character.

Don't love him too much! XP
He'll die sooner... >_> He's not the real lead male in the story. The real lead male is actually just standing nearby him. *hint hint*. I know it's cruel and perhaps dangerous--I'm going to kill a lovable character which might cause the readers to lose their interest of the story--but this story is experimental. I'm planning on pulling out the deepest emotions from both the reader and the characters.

That's why Ryan has to meet his demise. =[

But thanks Miss belleia for loving the story. =] I really appreciate. I just felt suddenly inspired. Okay, I will continue writing.

Thanks again, my lady.

NOOOOO!!!!!!!!! omgosh i dont want ryan to die. why why???.lol he was areally good character but i kinda get why you are killing him off. Keep writing. i hope that anne can get along with him dying but knowing her she probally can. Will she be able to handle that ryan is a drug dealer now? or will he hide himself and pretend to be something he's not? i think these kinda lead up to killing him off.but i think it would still be good even if you did kill him off.

Ryan has to die. =[ I know, it sucks.

Actually, Anne will not know Ryan is a drug dealer until he'd die. And, no, she will not be able to handle it. Ryan's death will devestate her.

That's where Judd comes in. When he finally returns back to Las Vegas with guilt, he sees Anne. And she is miserable, pitiful. He will try to--

XD SPOILER ALERT! Lol. He-he.
I should learn to cover my mouth...

Anyways, this isn't Chapter III, but it's better than nothing. This is the story synopsis. Tell me what you think. ^_^

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They were meant for each other.

In front of a shimmering lake and beneath a graceful moon, two orphaned teenagers promised their love to be forever and withstanding, even if hundreds of miles would separate them. He vowed he would return to get her back and she trusted him completely. Years passed, finally he did, bringing with him his persistent dreams. But he was already a criminal. It didn’t matter, he convinced himself. When he saw her indelible face, everything was right. He would ask her to marry him.

But he was killed.

Judd Ross Dalton returned back to the city where his nightmares lived—the city where he had killed a criminal. It should have been right; he should have felt heroic after ending a drug lord. But he didn’t. He shouldn’t be guilty—it was part of being a cop. But when Judd encountered her familiar face smudged in eternal sorrow, he thought he’d burned in hell. Anne Cooperling, Ryan Kinsly’s lover. The criminal’s lover.
Judd would atone for his sins: he’d give Anne the life he had cut from her.
But he never expected it would turn more than atonement.

I like it kinda confused me why judd was happy he killed a drug lord but then i got it. it's really good and can you please keep me informed on how its going.thanks