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Lilith W
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#1
Old 05-27-2007, 08:04 PM

I saw a lot of these so I decided to try to do it to. I would love to be critiqued. If I use improper grammer or spell something wrong please tell me. I would love to make my stuff better.

List
1. Life
2. Death
3. cat
4. dog- (6th post)
5. cards
6. wings
7. snow- (5th post)
8. moonlight
9. butterfly
10. gown
11. rain
12. tears
13. friendship
14. earth
15. fire
16. wind
17. water
18. ice
19. sun
20. moon
21. black
22. white
23. blue
24. metal
25. forest
26. flowers
27. summer
28. winter
29. dreams- (2nd post)
30. nightmares
31. bright eyes
32. fight
33. dance
34. battle
35. past
36. present
37. future
38. halloween
39. chirstmas
40. hello
41. good-bye
42. hair
43. fool
44. queen
45. witch
46. book
47. computer
48. wish
49. hope
50. despair
51. king
52. princess
53. gift
54. magic
55. Crown
56. Beast
57. dragon
58. promises
59. lies
60. Gloves
61. purse
62. healing
63. beauty- (7th post)
64. betrayal
65. Innocence
66. Lips
67. separation
68. Illusion
69. Photograph
70. sand
71. Pebbles
72. glass
73. glasses
74. horse
75. faith
76. sword
77. bow and arrow
78. paint
79. wolf
80. shape shift
81. nurse
82. teacher
83. rose
84. belt
85. kitten
86. harp
87. ocean
88. pool
89. Stalk
90. window
91. Song
92. sunset
93. sunrise
94. Love
95. vampire
96. demon- (8th post)
97. castle
98. broken dreams
99. broken trust
100. lightning

Lilith W
bookworm
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#2
Old 05-27-2007, 10:16 PM

29. dreams

Miu looked up at the pale blue sky dreaming about flying. She always wondered what it would be like to fly like the birds. She knew it was stupid to envy birds. They were just stupid animals, but they got the joy of flying. And to top it off many looked like living jewels. Bright blues and reds or even multi colored. Miu looked like a drab sparrow. But even they got to fly. She wished she had feathers like her name said. She had always thought her name was a cruel joke, her name meant beautiful feather.

She looked up at the sky and said longingly "I wish I could fly." Suddenly there was a pain in her back and she heard her clothes ripping. She looked over her shoulder and saw deep blue feathers. She had wings of midnight blue. She thought to herself that she was only dreaming but for a little bit it was enough to simply soar in the sky and to forget about the waking world.

Lemoni
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#3
Old 05-27-2007, 10:19 PM

cool! I love your style already!

Lilith W
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#4
Old 05-27-2007, 10:24 PM

thank you very much

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#5
Old 05-27-2007, 11:14 PM

7. snow

Eira looked at herself in the mirror. She saw an extremely pale girl looking back at her. Her eyes were blue, which was her favorite color, but in what appeared to be a joke they were a watered down blue. A blue that, many told her, made her look cold. Her hair seemed to want nothing to do with the rest of her as it was the darkest color possible, black. Her black hair made everything else even paler, making her look already dead.

She hated how she looked. Everyone else was tan and blond. The guys at school didn't want a girlfriend that had to wear sunhats to games or be as red as a lobster. She was ugly and she hated herself.

She turned away from the mirror and went downstairs. She walked thru the kitchen and grabed an apple to eat on the way to school. Then stepped outside... into a winter wonderland. There was snow and the ground and it was still snowing. Eira smiled up into the sky. She loved the snow. It's delicate look but biting power. She looked at the snow and realized that, like her name implied, she was snow. She wasn't ugly she was just a different season from the rest of her friends. That didn't make her ugly, just beautiful in a different way.

Lilith W
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#6
Old 05-28-2007, 04:06 PM

4. dog

Elizabeth and her mother, Edie, ran their dog to vet. His poor paw was swollen.

"We think he stepped on a bee."

The vet looked him over and finally handed over some pain pills. It was just a sprain. They took poor Ditto home. They petted him and said nice things to him. They gave him treats and kissed him.

Elizabeth sat on the coach with him. They gave him his pain pill and babied him some more.

Suddenly Patch growled from her bundle of blankets. She rolled over to bite Ditto, the one that was hogging all the attention and trying to take her blankets. She rolled over, growled, started to bite, then fell off the coach.

Elizabeth grabbed her and put her back on the coach. Patchy crawled back under the covers with her ears down in completey humiliation.

"Poor doggies."

Lilith W
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#7
Old 05-28-2007, 04:24 PM

63. beauty

The most beautiful girl at school looked at her classmates from behind her book. She sat all alone. She could hear people whispering about her. They acted like she was deaf. She put down her books and the talk about her stopped.

She silently sighed and picked her book back up. She noticed a new boy five seats from her. He whispered to Derek "Who's she, the one reading?"

"Her name's Amanda. Don't get any ideas Nick. She's untouchable."

"Why's that?"

"She thinks she's better than everyone else," Derek's girlfriend whispered.

At this Amanda stood up and walked outside. Why was it that in movies, books, and tv beautiful people got everything while I lose everthing. She went over to her favorite tree, grabbed the lowest branch, and swung up. She straightened her uniform then leaned back to take a nap.

"What are you doing up there?" It was Nick. She ignored him and waited for him to leave. Suddenly he was climbing the tree.

"What do you want?" She asked him while she thought about how much everyone else was going to chew him out.

"Just thought I would sit."

"Why?"

"Everyone needs a friend no matter what they look like."

She looked away as a single tear flowed down her cheek. "Thank you."

Lilith W
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#8
Old 05-31-2007, 12:28 AM

96. demon

She looked across the table at the young man sitting there. He had black long hair to her short brown. His eyes were a brown that was almost black while her eyes were an icy cold blue. He was deeply tan from being outside and she was white like she had never been outside. As she looked at him she laughifling thought that he was much prettier than her. She was handsome. He had a nice smile and she only had a polite look. The people around them thought he was the nice one but she knew they were wrong. He was a demon.

She got up and walked outside knowing he would follow.

He slowly got up and paid for them both as she seemed to forget the bill. He walked outside knowing what was to come.

"Hi Emm, its been awhile hasn't it?" he said smiling the whole time.

"This isn't fun and games Dise. You know what has to happen."

"Yes I do. Thanks for letting me have this break." He started to grow taller and taller. His eyes turned red but he did not move.

She unsheathed her sword and attacked knowing that she would be no match for him if she waited. He still did not move. She was right on top of him and swung, hesitating only slightly. And he still did not move.

After she was past him and he laid bleeding in the dirt she realized he had never moved. He had wanted to die.

"Why?" she whispered as tears came.

"You know I once loved you. You were not the first. In fact you were the eighty-fifth. They all found out what I was and I ran. I didn't want to kill what I loved. Some left me alone but many didn't. I killed fifty-eight of my lovers. I decided it was enought."

She fell to her knees by her dying demon prince and cried for all that had happened to them.

Lilith W
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#9
Old 05-31-2007, 05:43 PM

34. battle

They stood facing each other ready for the slightest move. One dodged forword for the prize only to be stopped by the other. They rolled on the ground trying to get an advatage.

Suddenly one jumped up and back out of the fight, dodged for the prize and ran. He ran full out then slide to a stop when he realized there was no where to go. He turned and ran back towards her.

She ran towards him ready to do battle again but he zoomed past her going fast as lightning. She turned and ran after him. They ran back to were the fight had started.

He ran ahead but suddenly dropped the prize. It slide over to another.

"Thanks Ditto." The person threw it back the way they had just ran. They both turned and ran after it.

The girl looked at her mother and laughed. The puppies sure were hyper today.

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#10
Old 06-02-2007, 10:15 PM

23. blue

Miu was once again dreaming. She was looking at the sky wishing for the thing that she knew she could never get when her wings pushed their way out of her back.

For the first time ever instead of instantly jumping into the blue sky she looked at her wings. They were always the same size. Her wing span was two of her arm spans when she had her arms out. They went over her head about a foot. They were always the same color. They were blue. The deepest blue of night but up close there were other blues. There were hints of sky blue, green-blues, and even a little whitish blue.

She realized that she loved her wings not only for the joy of flight but also for the sheer beauty of them. She jumped up into the air and flew.

When she woke up she knew that she could not let her wings stay in her dreams. She got up and started painting. She painted thru the day intill she had her wings in her waking time. She had painted her wings and could now enjoy them anytime. She knew she would never fly like she wanted to but at least she would have her blue wings.

Lilith W
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#11
Old 06-02-2007, 10:51 PM

8. moonlight

Sileny went outside and looked around. The sun had set and the moon was up. She loved moonlight. It made everything look good. It looked like she was in a fairy kingdom.

She walked away from the electric lights. She hated the sick looking light they cast. It always looked horrible compaired to the moon's light. She walked till she could not see the lights of the house anymore and sat down. The silvery light always made her feel better. It wasn't harsh like the sun. The sun's light only burned her and showed all of her imperfections.

The moon flowed over her lovingly and hid anything that was bad and made everything else even more beautiful. Sileny supposed it made since that the moon would be kind to her. Her hair was dark like the sky at night. Her eyes sparkled like blue stars. Her skin was as pale as the very moon and her name even meant moonlight.

She had been blessed for the moon but it looked like at least on this moon light night she would not be with Matt.

Lilith W
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#12
Old 06-02-2007, 11:28 PM

9. butterfly

The butterfly lazily flew across the yard. Slowly rising and falling. It went around and around in a beautiful dance.

Kimimela watched the butterfly's dance. The little girl's eyes worshipingly followed the butterfly everywhere. Kimimela imagined a dancer as the butterfly.

The dancer changed constantly as she could not pick her favorite. At first it was a beautiful chinese girl in a kimono of yellow and black. Then a fair princess from her story books. The vision changed untill finally she decided that the butterfly was the most beautiful dancer of all.

Kimimela watched the butterfly slowly dance away.

Kitmew
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#13
Old 06-03-2007, 01:42 PM

Some things that were spelled wrong-Lazily, constantly, story, until, in #9 Butterfly.

Comments: OMG Your style is so cute-bland at times but I love it. Moonlight one is my favorite. It has so much beautiful details in it, >< Good luck finishing them all! I also love the blue one, I want wings too! The wing's colors were so deliously described, I felt like I could eat them all up! Great Job and Keep the 100 drabble's going, Lilith W!~

Lilith W
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#14
Old 06-03-2007, 02:31 PM

Thanks for all the help. I stink at spelling and didn't feel like checking it on word. Thanks for all the nice comments. I'll keep up the good work.

 


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