I agree with Snowberry's statement. That part threw me off as well in the first poem.
I like Side Glance, and Nearly perfect.
Second Stanza in Side Glance:
You could probably put the you on the first line, and it wouldn't mess with anything, just make that part easier to read without having to move the eyes down a line for one word. Also, not every stanza has 4 lines, so it wouldn't mess that up either making it ( 4, 3, 4, 2, 5) Which to me has a nice flow to it.
Quote:
Nearly Perfect
You were my first kiss, but it wasn't true
If I was a different girl I could have loved you
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Sounds great to me
Quote:
You had everything I would say I wanted
kind and polite, with those hazel eyes.
If I had been another girl I would have loved you.
I swear I would have.
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If it were me, the flow sounds better when you move the lines around slightly. Switching line "kind and polite" with line "if i had been" possibly leaving off "if I"
Quote:
You're still not over me, my cruel play.
I thought if I tried hard enough I could overcome that empty heart.
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I really like this one, but there's something about the flow that's throwing me off in the bolded part. I'd almost say just keep it as 'you' to match the flow of the other stanzas
Quote:
You were perfect for me,
but obviously I wasn't for you.
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no comments here.
Quote:
You loved animals, you loved to sing.
You had your problems, but who doesn't?
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-brake sound- Uhhh.. I have no idea what to say about this one. No advice is popping to mind to help with it, but again the bolded part seems to not quite fit the flow.
Quote:
I should have loved you,
but I can't control my heart.
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Again, doesn't quite fit the flow of the piece.
Overall, it's a fascinating poem, and I believe well on its way to becoming a masterpiece. Sorry if you didn't want the poem dissected like that. I probably shouldn't have taken AP English. ^^;; I love writing poetry myself, and this is the kind of critiques I personally like receiving so that I can improve on my work. Hope it at least helps instead of sounding mean. It's just what I personally see, and might change had I written it.