I am in what appears to be my bedroom, yet it does not match any room I have ever been in. The room is shaped like a dome. The walls do have my thinspo quotes and posters on them yet they circle around and it appears no one else can see them. There is a bag hanging from the wardrobe filled with pasta! Spaghetti at that. The spaghetti moves at times creating numbers. My fiance and I are playing on my computer and the walls begin to leak this really sweet red goo. I feel my scale fall near the door and go to take my pills to distract myself. As I grab my pills the spaghetti adds an extra medication I do not know.

Well even in my dream there must be food. My fiance and I are eating a homemade muffin with a side of yogurt and glass of milk. I eat slowly but feel the affect of this new medication right away. After the meal I have to run to the loo, I know not what is going on. I feel like I am going to sick so I pull my hair back, and then all the thinspo, the bags of food, and the red goo surround the walls of the bathroom. I hear laughter and then it begins. I am sick but it is chunks of flesh, blood and little yellow piles of what looks like pure fat. When I am done being sick the scale appears again, the laughter is worse then ever, and I cannot avoid stepping on the scale. I do not look, I do not have to! I hear the scale join in the laughter, although it is very strained. It finally spits out "fatty, you have gained weight you horrible bitch!"

I run back to my room crying and my fiance is there again, she is smiling very nicely until she sees a bit of blood around my lips. She goes to get a tissue to wipe it off and grabs the mysterious medicine again. She wipes my lips and gives me a small kiss, saying the first nice thing I have heard all day "you are so beautiful, I hope one day you can also be strong." She opens the medication, this time it is a liquid, she serves up 3tbs of it and then I am right back in the bathroom. This continues for a while and finally I am done. After being sick I check my reflection, the girl in the mirror is ghastly, you can tell she is slim but there are rolls of fat that seem to grow as I look.

Hi ana-loli:! I'm going to move this over to the main forum of Literature Spot, for it doesn't seem like you're asking for help with your story. :)

Okay, thank you. I was kinda but no one seemed to even be reading it

ana-loli that nightmare motivates me to start exercising and go on a diet :) nice and gory.

Just be careful if you do, even good things in excess can be dangerous. This nightmare was actually brought on by an excess.

Oh yes i will be careful, though i will try to pay more attention towards exercising, after all it is my new years resolution
Happy writing to you

Thank you, take care :)

O_O It seems like some diet and excersise now. haha.

The nightmares actually continue. Every time I eat the laughter refuses to go away, the quotes screaming and echoing in my head. Sometimes the pressure is too much I cannot stand, sometimes it knocks me out completely. The fat is still bubbling, now in a more disgusting, distasteful way. I can see my bones, well most of them but the fat is bubbling in a way to not cover the hip bones, the side ribs, spine or collar bones. No, the fat is growing in the middle of my stomach in three little lumps (so as not to create even a decent looking tummy). It breaths inside me, multiplies, growls and feeds. IT ALWAYS FEEDS. There is no escape from the fat. I take the medicine still and the effects are getting worse, the flesh is escaping my any means possible. The blood loss is causing issues. I feel like I am going to die, I know the fat is going to win!

This is terrifying for so many reasons. The idea that something you enjoy, with someone you enjoy, is turned into a forceful and unpleasant experience would really churn some deeper feelings, but then you add an almost time-loop effect where you continue to suffer and know that it will continue, until you are nearly a ghost emanating things that horrify you even after all you've done to eliminate them, overall this dream has a strong feeling of depth and terror in ways that I have never considered. I'm glad to have read this post from you, thank you for sharing and I hope you have more pleasant dreams moving forward.

Thank you

As someone with an eating disorder, I can sympathize a lot with this. Personal relationships with food and exercise can be really, really scary, whether it's in excess or not enough. Finding a balance can be difficult, as can molding a healthy attitude about it all. I'm sorry that you had experience something like that, even in a nightmare!