So I've been thinking about taking a gap year. I've applied to some colleges, but all of the applications I've submitted are still pending right now. I don't know if any of them will accept me (at this point I'm praying for a miracle. That's how bad and desperate this situation is )

To be honest, I don't think considering a gap year is that bad of a prospect, but the fact that so many other people are making a big deal out of college (including my family) makes me think that it isn't worth the time and investment to do. I've heard the "you need to go to college because..." speech so many times that if one more person starts their sentence with those seven words again I'm going to do this > I know they mean well and they want me to have a good future. But they are talking to a girl that doesn't even know what to wear for school most of the time. Clearly I don't know what to do with my future

If I think about me and my well-being, I would really need it. I need some time off from school to figure out what I really want to do with my life instead of slaving away at a degree that I will later regret (it seems to be a trend with a lot of things that I just jump into without a second though ) I would like to at least get an internship at some places and get an idea of what I would really like to do. I would like to travel as well, if the expenses permit me to do so. Anything other than this small town I live in would be refreshing.

Is a gap year such a bad idea? I really need some type of guidance on this issue. I'm also afraid of talking to my family about this (they are all accomplished people in their fields. Mainly doctors and professors.) So much has been going on right now, I've already gone through a bunch of mental breakdowns, I fear I'm on the verge of another one right now

I have mixed views about gap years. For some it's great, for others it's the road to a routine that keeps them from going back to school and into a situation they don't love (totally different if they're doing what they love without school).

On one hand, you're right. If you don't know what you want to go to school for it can be a waste of time and money. But going to school, especially if you're doing general studies, can give you a taste of many things. It's not just about getting a degree, school is about exploring things as well, including yourself.

Then there is what you would spend your gap year(s) doing. Would you be discovering yourself or would you fall into a routine? Would that routine be beneficial to you or hinder you? How hard would it be for you to go back to school?

You've mentioned that your family wants you to go to school. In my experience this means they may look down on you for taking a gap year. Working against such opposition can be harmful too. (From what little I understand) in countries where gap years are common, the family expects it and may help you out as you explore during your gap year. There wont be backlash for it, there wont be expectations that you find a full time job and support yourself. So there is that possible struggle in countries (or just families) where gap years are looked down on or aren't common.

So what it comes down to is do you have the support to take a year or two off? And is the backlash from your family worth the gap year to you? And if you do end up going, how do you plan to use that time? Since you're having breakdowns, where can you get help if you do a gap year and where can you get help if you go to school? Can you talk to academic advisers at the school about your concerns if you do get in? And where do you want to go with your gap year?

And as an alternative - is there non-college post-secondary that you would prefer? Are there any trades or apprenticeship programs that are more to your preference than a college education?

Making a pros and cons list for each can be helpful.
Then for each con see if you can find a solution.

Whole Milk: Thanks for the advice You're right about my family pushing me towards going for my secondary education. I was thinking of declaring an undecided major, but I talked to my mom about that and she threw a big fit about it.

My mom and I don't seem to see eye-to-eye on a lot of things. It's been starting to bug me a lot, but anyways.

I've been making a list of pros-cons of each decision and I've been finding that I might fall into too much of a routine if I do end up taking a gap year. Thank you so much for the advice again!

Hi, ii-AznGurlDream-ii. Are you an only child or the eldest child in your family?

If you are in the United States (because I am), it's perfectly fine not to know what you want to study. In fact, at most four-year colleges, you don't have to declare a major until the end of your sophomore year or later. And trust me, a lot of people (I'd say a majority) will change majors at least once during their educational career!

The thing about many (I'd say most) four-year colleges is that they have core classes that you have to take in order to graduate. For people who are undeclared in their major, it often makes sense to just take those core classes and get them out of the way during their freshman or sophomore year. So, there is no pressure to already know what to major in as a first-year student.

To answer the question in your thread title, it is NOT a bad thing to take a gap year. I know many people who took a gap year before college to travel the world, focus on things they enjoyed, and refresh themselves before embarking on their four-year undergraduate adventure. Then, they started college a year later, sure, but they still hit the ball out of the park with their grades and are getting excellent job offers. Plus, they are slightly more mature than the rest of the grade.

The only thing is -- what would you do during this gap year? My friends who took gap years had specific ideas in mind -- and it didn't have to be related to their field of study at all! Sure, one person went and did an international internship, but most of them just traveled and enjoyed a year without studying. If you know that you want or need to chill for a year, go for it.

I would say: don't take a gap year if you only want to figure out what to major in. The core curriculum will expose you to all kinds of classes, and having upperclassmen and other peers mentoring you in a college environment can help you figure out what you want to do.

But if it's for your well-being, as you have mentioned, then I say go for it.

But no need to decide yet! Think about it, ask for all different opinions from family and friends and teachers, and get accepted into a college first. :) That way, you can figure things out once the stress of not having a college to attend goes away.

Please let us know of any questions you may have regarding college and such, if that will help!

I am actually the eldest in the family, and I am the first generation of kids from an immigrant family (my parents came from Bangladesh). I'm going to be the first person in the whole family to graduate from the US, so I guess that special circumstance makes it a lot harder for me to approach my family.

I don't have a problem taking a gap year; the real problem lies in dealing with my mom's reaction. My mom is rather... dramatic when she reacts. Even if it's the little things. To add to that, her health hasn't been the greatest either, so I don't want to shock her too much with my decision.

I'm so burned out. I don't want to deal with school right now; I always look forward to breaks and days off from school and every which way I can worm out of a certain assignment without affecting my grade. I have come to the conclusion over the past year that I was only using school as a means to get to where I want to go, not as an ends. That's why my grades haven't been the best that they should have been and all the applications that I sent in to colleges have been pending these past couple months.

I've been told that it isn't a problem if I don't know what my major is right now, and I honestly agree. How am I supposed to know exactly what I want to do for the rest of my life? But my mom is very adamant that her way of going to college is correct and she wouldn't listen to me. And now my relationship with her is a lot more distant than it already was. (Sorry, getting too personal...) I guess the biggest question that I have is how I can approach this at a different angle.

Is studying part-time an option? What I mean is, starting college without the gap year, but taking fewer credits and classes than a full-time student? That might be a compromise between what you and your parents want.

Studying part-time would certainly help with managing stress and maintaining good grades. However, you would graduate later unless you take classes during breaks. Additionally, you might not be eligible for certain kinds of financial aid...although if your parents are wealthy, you might not receive all that much financial aid in the first place.

I'm not really thinking about doing college part-time. I like the idea of going to school part time, but I wouldn't want to extend my college education more than I want to My uncle actually told me about the financial aid while we were discussing college, actually. He literally told me what you said; since my parents are both doctors and such, that I wouldn't be getting a whole lot of financial aid in the first place. I was hoping that I would be eligible for at least some kind of financial aid (I'm trying to stay away from federal loans like FAFSA and such; student debt doesn't sound at all appealing)

That option I might consider more, if I am willing to plug my college breaks in with extra classes. But I don't know if I'm up for that, I kind of like my breaks I'm thinking of going to smaller schools instead of large bustling universities if I do end up going to college full time, just so I can keep my head on my shoulders and not the other way around

Some schools give credit for online courses, if that helps :) Best of luck with your decision-making! I'll keep an eye on this thread for any updates and/or further questions you may have.

Another question. If you already applied to a school and haven't finished their application yet, and planning to take a gap year, do you have to tell them that you are planning to take a gap year (indicating that you want to take classes in fall of '16 instead of fall '15, perhaps?) So that they might not think that I am some sort of random person trying to get into their college

I personally think some people actually do need that gap year

ii-AznGurlDream-ii, this link may be helpful to you:

Universities in Support of Gap Years | Universities with Gap Year Deferral Policies &laquo American Gap Association

It includes some of the gap year policies for schools in the United States. Not sure how updated this is, but you can always double-check with the colleges themselves. Good luck!

@ sal - Thank you for the link! I've looked over it, but I think I have to call for some of the other schools because they don't really have a clear gap year policy on their FAQ sections

I find that a lot of people are too judgmental about the whole gap year decision. Everybody has a different path in life and if that means taking a year or two off school, then they should feel free to do so. Its your decision, not theirs.

Sounds good, ii-AznGurlDream-ii :) best of luck to you

So I have another dilemma (it seems to be the main topic these days...)

I have given two interviews for the college that I want to go to and long story short, I don't think they are going to accept me right now. To be honest, I saw this coming; it was only a matter of time that my mistakes were going to come back to haunt me anyways. I have applied to a small community college and I'm about to apply to a local university as well. The thing is, the deadline for the freshman applications for the local university has ended already, and I think my future is looking pretty bleak right now, to be very frank and honest with you.

So... I think as of now, I'm going to go to this community college, get my grades up and then get to where I need to go. I need to clean up my act; the immaturity that I have shown throughout high school isn't going to fly anymore.

I need all the advice I can get right now...

What type of schools did you apply to. Maybe you should try community college first if you're not sure what you want to do. I would suggest not taking a year off, many of my friends did so and ended up not going back. If college might be important to you in the future then just go to a community college first. A year might not seem like much, but you'd be surprised what all you can forget. I haven't taken a math class in four years and I'm about to graduate. My last class is math and I'm not completely sure I'll be able to pass it. College isn't for every one, but if you want to do something more that will require a degree you should go.

Originally Posted by River Song

What type of schools did you apply to. Maybe you should try community college first if you're not sure what you want to do. I would suggest not taking a year off, many of my friends did so and ended up not going back. If college might be important to you in the future then just go to a community college first. A year might not seem like much, but you'd be surprised what all you can forget. I haven't taken a math class in four years and I'm about to graduate. My last class is math and I'm not completely sure I'll be able to pass it. College isn't for every one, but if you want to do something more that will require a degree you should go.

I applied to a community college that is only about 2 years long (the highest degree you can get there is an associate's degree) and the other one I applied to is a four year local university. What I'm trying to do is get my grades up to an acceptable level, then transfer the credits to another in-state university.

Aimless.Wanderer, would you like to practice interviewing? As busy as I am in real life, I am happy to take time out to help people with their college applications and interview process.

Community college for one or two years can definitely work. I have a friend who transferred to a private university after 1.5 years at a public school. He is doing super well and got to save lots of money on tuition for those first 1.5 years.

Do what's right for you! It sounds cheesey, but it's true.

Taking a year off can be good for saving money, maybe doing some volunteering to gain experience and that way you'd have something that a lot of the other college applicants don't.
You could also change your mind and maybe apply to something else. What I've learned through my college experience is that programs with placements or internships are great. Sometimes the agency will even offer you a job when you graduate.

It's hard because, if you're like me, you want stability but you also don't want to hate your job. Gotta find that balance.

Sometimes taking a year off is tricky because the person is unmotivated to go back. This might be why some people think taking a break is a bad thing.

All in all, don't feel so bad. I thought college kids had their lives together, but they don't. Apparently adults don't even know what they're doing, so take comfort in knowing that hundreds and hundreds of people are as lost as you.
Hope that helps! :)

I think it just depends on you and what you are going through right now. I tried to go to college right after high school and didn't do very well. Four years later I tried again and the lowest grade I've gotten is a C. (College Algebra is hard if your teacher isn't very good) I'm graduating in May with my Associates then will be on way to get my Bachelor's.

If you feel like you need that time to grow and mature as a person, then I say take the gap year. Sometimes we need time off to find out who we are and what we want in life.

Good luck!

I didn't go to college, want to go but yeah... Life got in the way, but my brother took a gap year. He used it to get a job that he loves, and is still working even after a few degrees.

It works for some not so much for others, though I will say if you do the gap, it will be a little harder to get back into the routine.