Rock the boy
become and fear
ask in heart
a tear is near
sing not said
who built what I write
image go and play
they had no shout
reach and feel
and erase one star
only you have to tell



her or me
she or he
give my goal
but be more break
belong on the music
sweet as gems
stand up at last
his love for soul
act like forever is lived
of one good friend
his goal
his rock
his fear
to see
to rock
to fear
her heart
her smile
her music
my love
for him
no more said
trust not broken


sing to ask
sing to give
sing to fear
sing to drift
sing to deal
sing to talk
sing to rock
sing to tear
sing to near
I’m sick of singing


in heart
in fear
in rock
in tear
my love
for him
to lock away
in life as sweet as a dove

The first one makes little sense, and I think rewording some of it would help.

who built what I write

tripped me up some, the first one could probably use some revising and maybe some punctuation to just slow it down a little.

On the second one the last three or so lines should be broken up a little more to continue that strong rhythm to the finish. It kind of ends a on a week note because of that disconnect.

On the third you started out without a rhyming pattern and then suddenly jumped into one partway through which is strange.

Again in the last one it ends on a week note for the same reason as before.

As far as content goes, it was all pretty good. Nice vocabulary and strong verbs. :3