This is a poem I wrote for the book "Lovely Bones" by Alice Sebold


First he took her innocence
And then he took her life
She was already dead inside
Before she saw the knife

He made her say "I love you"
And she did so without hope
She knew by now that she had
Reached the end of her rope

She was a lovely visitor
When he took her to his house
Hacked up little dead girls
Do not often grouse

He disposed of the body
When the time was right
No one would ever know
What went down that night

They only found an elbow
The rest was all long gone
They could not find it as they
Searched from dusk to dawn

Who knew an icicle could cause
This murderer such strife?
A falling mass of pendent ice
Ended Mr. Harvey's life

i dont think this is your special talent. i do think you like it and thats great. but i dont think your very good at it. i am not trying to discoarage you but I dont think you have the talent for writting poems. if you like it enough keep writting but if your just doing this to see if your good at poetry. I would suggest not. i write poetry my-self.

Originally Posted by kiarakiara

i dont think this is your special talent. i do think you like it and thats great. but i dont think your very good at it. i am not trying to discoarage you but I dont think you have the talent for writting poems. if you like it enough keep writting but if your just doing this to see if your good at poetry. I would suggest not. i write poetry my-self.

Actually, I'm very good at poetry. Maybe you'll change your opinion when I tell you that I made this in ten-fifteen minutes at six in the morning, the day it was due. It was an assignment for my Foundations class. You should see my other poems, the ones that I had complete control over. Everyone in my class was stunned when I read this to them, and it shocked me because this is not the best I've written, not even close. So maybe next time before you tell me that I'm not talented in this area, you should stop to consider that maybe I was just throwing out poetry to earn gold and not putting out my best stuff, which is saved for those who care and are privileged enough to read it. So yes, I will continue writing poetry. I'm a lot better at writing stories and novels, but I don't suck at poetry. Thank you and goodbye.

that's disturbing but amusing as well

I think that was really good. And entertaining.
Don't let kiarakiara's comment put you down because, 2 people and yourself think it was great. Besides, she has quite a few spelling and grammar errors so I'm kinda doubtful of her..yeah..

Could I read some of your other poems? I'm quite a fan of morbid poetry. I wrote one myself too for school. It's not the best, but it freaked my friends out, so I'm proud of it in anyway x']

Originally Posted by trinxie

I think that was really good. And entertaining.
Don't let kiarakiara's comment put you down because, 2 people and yourself think it was great. Besides, she has quite a few spelling and grammar errors so I'm kinda doubtful of her..yeah..

Could I read some of your other poems? I'm quite a fan of morbid poetry. I wrote one myself too for school. It's not the best, but it freaked my friends out, so I'm proud of it in anyway x']

^.^ Sure! I posted one of my other poems, She Whispered Sweet Lies, which is kinda morbid and cool. But in case you don't want to go searching for that, I'll post it in here.

She Whispers Sweet Lies

She whispers sweet lies
Into his ear
And he listens closely,
On the verge of sleep
"I wish you a night's peace,"
She whispers so sweet,
Her voice like that of an Angel's

The man nods his head
So snug in his bed
And listens without a doubt,
For his sweet Angel's words
Seemed to always ring true
And never were they of deceit

She brought him a cup,
With water so pure
As pure as she, he thought.
"Close your eyes," she whispered again,
"And I will protect you, my dear."

She whispers sweet lies,
Into his ear
And he listens closely,
So sure of her words

She drops a pill into the cup,
"Your medicine, my dear."
She brings the cup up to his lips,
Whispering once more.

"I promise you, my sweet husband,
Your medicine-it helps.
Drink it down, and rest your head,
Sleep shall soon come."

She smiles sweetly,
After whispering her sweet lies
"And I promise you,
My sweet husband,
You shall not wake
From any bad dreams."

And for once, this woman
This Angel of Deceit,
Whispered something true.
For the man would not wake
From bad dreams, no,
He would not wake at all.

But before the man fell
Into an eternity of sleep,
She whispered one last sweet lie
The grandest, sweetest lie of her life,
"I love you, my dear husband,
And I always will."

Originally Posted by kiarakiara

i dont think this is your special talent. i do think you like it and thats great. but i dont think your very good at it. i am not trying to discoarage you but I dont think you have the talent for writting poems. if you like it enough keep writting but if your just doing this to see if your good at poetry. I would suggest not. i write poetry my-self.

That's funny coming from someone who refuses to learn how to spell or use proper grammar. Maybe you should read the Lovely Bones before you judge this poem. I have read it. I also understand she wrote this poem for a class in school. It makes perfect sense and it's also pretty good when you take the book into context.

@Notsilveraura - I like your poem. I also like the fact that it almost reads like a plot summary for those who haven't read the book. ^^