12-19-2008, 12:48 AM
Most of you reading this are going to think that I'm just one of those people who never lost the overactive imagination of childhood. You would be half right. I never really grew up.
I turned eighteen last January. I should be too old to believe in the fae then right? Actually, age has nothing to do with it. It's all about conformity. As soon as we start elementary school they teach us that faeries and magic don't exist. I didn't rebel... I conformed too.
I was seen as a genius by the time I was four. I had invented my own language. Or so they thought. In truth, I didn't invent anything. My so-called imaginary friends had taught me their language. This was all fine until about the third grade. My teacher decided around that time that I had spent enough time talking to myself at recess. She gave me a few lectures on reality and I was made to state that my friends weren't real. I didn't see them again until midnight on my eighteenth birthday.
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Xander and I had gone up the ridge behind my home so that we could spend some time alone. Before you come to any conclusions Xander and I are just friends, with a few benefits on the side. Our parents never really thought anything about us going off alone so much. Why would you worry about two teenaged guys going off into the woods for a few hours? So, we went off around dark, sat on the ridge and watched the moon rise, talking nothing in particular. After we had sat there for a few hours, he leaned over and gave me a kiss, making it clear what he had intended to be my present.
We lay there afterward, his head on my chest, watching the stars. When I finally worked up enough courage, I asked him if he would be my boyfriend. He sat up and looked me in the eyes and said quite simply, "No." before turning away from me. Completely bewildered and on the verge of tears, I stood and asked him why not. The last thing I heard from him that night was, "Tor, I just can't see myself with you. It's not that I don't love you, God knows I do. I just can't see myself being with you." He never got a chance to finish, as I turned and ran. I stopped running after a while and sunk down onto my knees by a large tree to cry.
I heard someone coming up behind me, but I didn't turn around, because I didn't want to face Xander. I had spent the past three years of my life trying to get up the courage to ask him to be with me. We had been spending a lot of time together, and we had been physical, not as much as we had that night, but physical still. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and after a moment I heard a voice that was somewhat familiar. I was still too upset to realize that it wasn't Xander, and that they weren't speaking in English.
"Hitori, Ceudasi ena cyo.” Please don't cry. He was so gentle in saying it, and sounded so close to tears that I had to face him.
"Ga...Gaebrien?" I was struck speechless. All I could do was reach out and grasp the hem of his shirt and sob. He knelt down and pulled me to him and held me until my sobbing subsided. Only then did I look him in the eyes and ask the questions that had been running through my mind since I recognized him. "How.. How did you get here? It's not a solstice, and how did you find me? It's been so long Gaebrien, why now?" He smiled and lightly shook his head.
"Hitori, always so full of questions... I got here using magic. I'm a lot stronger than I used to be, but it still takes a lot to transport outside of the solstice intervals unless it's a holiday. As to how I found you, I always know where you are. Since we were small I have kept a scry on you." He gave me a quick, light hug and we started walking back towards my home. Along the way we happened across a small clearing that I had passed up in my haste to get away from Xander. It was the place where Gaebrien and I had played when we were small, and by the one solitary tree in the center stood a faerie, beautiful even through her cruelty.
Gaebrien stopped dead in his tracks and drew in a sharp breath. "Addina, what are you doing here?"
She slowly strolled over to us, smiling wickedly, "Why, to see our dear friend Hitori of course. You didn't think you were the only one that was worried about him did you?" At that he gave her a cold glare that she returned with a malicious grin. I hardly registered the animosity between them. I was simply stunned to see them again, and for a moment I couldn't understand what they were saying. My bewilderment was noticed first by Addina who started laughing, "Now my dear Hitori, don't tell me you have forgotten the language of the fae."
Gaebrien looked at me quiet puzzled, and came to my rescue, "He hasn't. He was just speaking to me a moment ago."
I turned and looked at each of them, and said, "But, I haven't used the fae language in years, I really don't remember it."
Addina smiled and gave Gaebrien a knowing look. "Well, well Gaebrien. It seems you've no luck after all. I guess I'll just take him with me then." Gaebrien moved in front of me and started concentrating on a shield spell that I remembered faintly from when we were very young. It was the same spell that we used to use when it would start to rain, a very weak one.
I placed a hand on his shoulder, "What are you doing? It's Addina!" Addina spread her hands in a gesture of innocence and smiled.
"That's right Gaebrien; it's only me, this time. I have to go for now, but Hitori dear, I would so like to see you again soon." With that she winked at me then turned a vicious glare at Gaebrien. "You had best beware the Drow dear old friend... You never know where they might be. Jinsonshi!" Then she just vanished into the night.
"I was only trying to protect you" Gaebrien said apologetically.
"From Addina? Why would I need to be protected from her?" I asked with a half mocking laugh.
Gaebrien sighed, "She's changed Hitori... When you denounced the fae it broke her heart. She went to the Unseelie court and made a vow never to befriend a human again, and she swore to the Blood War because I asked her not to hate you for what you did." I stood frozen for a moment, taking in what he had just said. I remembered the stories my two friends and their guardians had told me of the horrors at the Unseelie court.
"She's still lower level, right? That's why you used that old spell right?"
"No, I'm too weak to use much magic, I had to jump using my scry to reach you, Addina just followed in my wake through the rift. She's not lower level by any means." Gaebrien sat at the base of the tree and motioned for me to join him. "She is the heiress. The rulers are about to join the Ancients, and she is the next in line to be queen." He looked at me, his eyes full of
emotions that he couldn't bring himself to release.
"The Seelie court will take care of it. She will be new to the throne, surely as long as they have been on the throne they will have enough power to take on a new queen and end the Blood War once and for all." I took his hand in mine for a moment and learned just how much it had cost him to find me, and to shield me.
His hand was icy, and he couldn't shield his mind from me. His thoughts and emotions overwhelmed me for a moment as our skin made contact. I felt his sadness, and heard his thoughts about the Seelie rulers. "They are dying too... I know they are your rulers and that all fae have a close bond to their rulers, but how can it hurt you so much when someone you don’t even know dies?"
He swallowed hard, holding back his tears and attempting to regain some semblance of composure, "Because, they are my parents. I never said anything about it to you before because I wanted to be your friend, not have you treat me like royalty the way everyone else does."
He couldn't hold back his tears any longer, so I looked away as he tilted his head back to silently cry. Once the hardest of his sobs died away I pulled him to me and held him tightly. "I'm sorry Gaebrien..."
He started to cry again, but smiled faintly. He trembled slightly as the chill of the night air began to get to him, as well as being weakened of power. "I've missed you so much" he whispered as he returned my hug.
"I've missed you too."
"Do you have a place to stay? If not, I'm sure my mom would let you stay with me for the night." I wanted him to stay with me. I hadn't realized how much I had missed him, and Addina until that night. I was afraid of Addina now that she had become the heir to the Unseelie court... when we had been children she had been so afraid of them.
"I came without making any preparations... No one will worry about me being gone though. I won't be strong enough to return home without a solstice or one of the old holidays for a few weeks, but Valentine's Day is soon... I should be strong enough to go home by then. I can access the emergency accounts held by the fae at the bank and use it to rent a room somewhere, but it's too late for that tonight."
We walked the rest of the way in silence. I had so many questions for him, but he was in no condition to answer them. He stumbled as we climbed the steps to the front door. As I caught him, my hand brushed against his arm and I was again overcome by his thoughts and emotions. The contact was brief, but it had a lasting effect. I decided not to mention what I had heard or felt until I had him warmed up and eating something.
I slipped off my shoes as we came in the door, and settled Gaebrien so that he was leaning almost casually against the wall. "Mom?"
"I'm in the den honey. Do you need something?"
I ducked in and gave her a hopeful smile, "Could my friend spend the night?"
She leaned out into the hall and eyed Gaebrien for a moment. "Hello dear, may I ask who you are? I don't believe I've seen you before. It's not often that I meet Hitori's friends."
Gaebrien bowed slightly, careful not to lose his balance, "I'm Gaebrien Medeora ma'am. I'm just in town on vacation for a few weeks. My family is staying with my grandmother just on the other side of the ridge back there." My mother smiled at him, pleased with his manners, and asked him if his parents would mind him staying with someone he's only just met.
I just stared at him. One of the first and most important lessons I learned about the fae is that they almost NEVER give anyone their full name. Knowing a faerie's full name gives you control over them. It allows you to summon them...and to command them. Using a faerie's full name in a command forces them to do what you tell them. The only time the fae give their full names is when they go into personal service of a ruler, pick a life mate, or truly trust someone. Yet here he was, standing in my front hall, telling my mother, who he had only just met, the name that, aside from his parents and I, only he had ever known.
"Well, Ms. Mitsukai, if you don't mind me using your phone, I could call and let them know where I am, and if my staying is too much trouble I'm sure someone would come pick me up."
"Oh, no, it's no trouble at all. The phone is in the den, if they don't mind you may stay, or we will take you home if you like." I couldn't help but smile, of course they weren't going to mind.
"Thank you," he said, and much to my amazement he slipped off his shoes and walked unhindered into the den and began dialing. "Hello, Mom? Can I stay with a friend? Yeah, I got lost in the wood and we ran into each other. His mom said it would be fine. Yes, I'll be home sometime tomorrow. Bye." He hung up the phone and turned a smile on my mother that made my heart skip a beat. "She said I can stay."
"It's settled then. Hitori, there is still some takeout on the table if you boys are hungry. I'm going to bed now. It was very nice meeting you Gaebrien."
He smiled and made another shallow bow, "It was very nice to meet you as well, Ms. Mitsukai." She was grinning ear to ear as she climbed the stairs to the bedrooms.
I went into the kitchen and grabbed the takeout boxes and some chopsticks. I handed a pair of boxes to Gaebrien and returned to the kitchen for some sodas before steering him up to my room. Closing the door with my foot, I pointed to
the table and told Gaebrien to help me. He took the boxes and placed them on the table and I putthe sodas down before grabbing a pair of throw pillows from the closet for us to sit on.
After opening all the boxes I asked Gaebrien what he liked better, chicken or beef. He peered into the boxes and said, "I'll take this one," and grabbed the beef and broccoli. "Umm, Hitori? Do I eat this with my hands?" I couldn't help but laugh at the idea of him scooping the rice and meat out with his fingers.
"Here use these." I tossed him a pair of chopsticks and grabbed a box of Pepper Steak. "The rice is under the meat, it's easier to eat when it's in one box."
He looked at me and started poking the meat and veggies around in his box until he found the rice, "I see." I started eating my own and noticed after a minute he was still poking at his.
"Are you not hungry? I can go find you something else if you don't like Chinese."
He blushed and looked away, "I don't really know how to eat with these," he said holding his chopsticks aloft.
"It's not that hard, here look." I took his sticks and positioned them in his hand, "Now try." He did, with no more success than the probing had done. I took another bite and watched him try for a while, then holding my sticks in my lips so I could chew my own food; I took his sticks again and scooped up some rice and beef for him. I held it out for him to eat and he looked at me confused for a moment. I moved it closer to him and he got the point. He carefully took the food into his mouth, keeping his eyes locked on mine to make sure he wasn't doing something wrong. As he chewed the food a smile came
to his face, and again my heart skipped.
I fed him a few more bites before putting down his sticks to let him try again. He picked them up and looked at me for help. I took mine from my mouth and positioned them in my hand and held them out for him to see. After a moment he had his right, and a few tries later he was able to feed himself. I placed my sticks down in my box to open my soda and get a drink. When I opened my eyes again he had my sticks in his hand and was offering me a piece of steak. I tried not to laugh as I humored him and took the steak in my teeth, but the look of excitement on his face as I did so left me all but giggling as I chewed.
This done I expected to be given my sticks back, but he continued to fish out peppers and onions from my box and offer them to me. I picked up his sticks and we made a game of it, each trying to feed the other without dropping anything. Once we had emptied the two boxes, and finished off our drinks, I turned on the CD player and put on a mixed CD I had made over the summer.
We lay back against the bed and listened for a while. Then my curiosity got the better of me. "You never told my why you came back. Is it because you are afraid to take the throne?" He sat up and looked at the floor, folding his hands in his lap.
"I said before that I have always kept a scry on you. I saw that you were upset when I walked by my crystal. I got worried so I came here to find you." He hid his face from me. Now it was my turn to feel awkward.
"You mean you used almost all your magic to come find me? Just because I was upset? Even though I denied the fae?" I couldn't understand why.
"I had to. Even if you had said you didn't believe in us, I knew you only said it because that woman made you. I have always thought of you as still being my friend Hitori, I had to come make sure you were going to be ok."There it was again, the look he had in his eyes back in the clearing when I had told him I was sorry about his parents, and when I had caught him on the steps. I had to ask him, I knew it was prying, but I had to know. "Umm, Gaebrien, when I caught you back on the steps earlier, I accidentally touched your arm and you were too weak to block me from reading you. While I was holding you up, I heard, err, felt, you say "Wadashi wah anada ie, Hitori." I remember some of that. It means "I ‘ie’ you, Hitori," but I don't know the word ie. You and the guardians never told me what it meant. Is it some formal way of thanking someone?" Addina used to say that same thing to me, but I felt it better to keep that to myself. Childhood crushes were a private thing.
He looked at me, completely horrified. "If you don't mind, I would rather not explain that just yet." I looked him in the eyes, and he looked away. I sighed and went to my dresser and pulled out a pair of boxers and a plain white tee."I'm going to take a shower. Do you want me to put the CD on repeat for you?" He nodded, still not looking at me, so I pushed the button and left for the bathroom. While I was getting dressed I thought I should offer Gaebrien a shower. I returned to my room, pulling my shirt over my head, to find Gaebrien staring at me, in utter fascination. "Clean up nice do I?" I said as a joke. He just nodded not taking his eyes off me. "Would you like to take a shower?" I asked. He nodded so I pulled out an extra pair of boxers and another tee. "Do you remember how to use the knobs?" He said he did, so I pointed him to the bathroom and waited for him to return.
He came walking back in about fifteen minutes later with a towel around his waist, carrying the clothes I had given him earlier. He had wrapped the towel loosely, and it hung down, dipping just below the peaks of his hip bones, leaving very little to the imagination. His light, honey colored skin, was gleaming where it was still wet, and his well toned stomach and chest tensed slightly as he held the clothes out to me. "The erm, boxers, are too loose." I could see why too. He had to be about 6'3, and had to be atleast twenty pounds lighter than myself. I swallowed hard, hoping he wouldn't notice.
"I have some safety pins. I could take them in for you." He agreed and while I was fishing in my desk for a pin he dropped the towel and pulled on the boxers. He had just gotten them up to where the towel had been before, when I turned around.
My hands trembled slightly as I kneeled to pin the boxers so they would fit his slight frame. I carefully pushed the pin into the material, but it scraped him anyway. He drew a sharp breath as the pin scratched his hip. I apologized and he said was okay, to finish pinning them so he could dry off. As I twisted my arm to close the pin, my elbow lightly brushed over the front of the soft cotton material. The reaction was instant, and surprised me so much that I poked my finger before managing to close the pin. I stood slowly, looking at the small drop of bloodwelling up on my fingertip, trying to get my mind off of what I had caused.
He reached out and took my hand in his, and pulled it to his lips, parting them just enough to allow the tip of his tongue to dart out and lick off the blood. He looked up to gauge my reaction. I was struck dumb. I couldn't move a muscle, but one moved on its own. He couldn't have been reading my thoughts, I wasn't capable of any, but I wasn't objecting to his next course of action. He took a step closer and slid the tip of my finger between his lips, and began to circle it with the tip of his tongue. He smiled, turning up the corners of his mouth, as he took a step closer. I could feel the heat from him now, and smell the soap and shampoo he had used only moments ago. My thoughts remained frozen until he placed a hand on my hip.
He gently massaged the length of my finger with his tongue, and to my horror I began to breathe in short, quick gasps. All I could think was "This isn't right... He's not like me." My mind busy with these thoughts my body reacted of its own accord. I could feel the heat of his body, and my own ached for more.
I backed away, still holding my finger straight, hand by my side, flexing the tip in the relative cold of the room. "Gaebrien, please stop. I can't... We can’t..." I managed to finally stammer. He looked crestfallen as he took his hand from my hip. He took a step back and looked away for a second, preparing himself for what he was about to say. I wanted to cry. I wanted him so badly, and I could tell by the look of hurt on his face he had only been trying to please me.
"Hitori..." he whispered softly, "Please don't be mad at me." He closed his eyes, looking for all the world like he was about to cry. "You think you love him don't you? That guy you are with all the time. He doesn't care for you the way I do. I'd do anything to take the hurt from you that he's caused... anything. I'd give my immortality to see you smile and be happy and, to have you love me." The last was so lightly whispered I barely heard it over the music.
He smiled ruefully at the CD player which was now on "The Reason". "..Found a reason for me, to change who I used to be, a reason to start over new, and the reason is you." he sang along, his fae accent tingeing the song, giving the words a haunting sound that no human could ever hope to. I looked down at the floor to hide the tears I couldn't hold back. He seemed to mean what he was saying, but then so had Xander. I reached behind me to flick off the music, but only made it louder. He turned his smile to me and continued to sing along. I started to shake, holding back the sobs I wanted so desperately to let out.
He crossed over to me, and pulled me to his chest, wrapping one arm around me and stroking my head with the other. I stopped holding back, letting my tears mingle with the drops of water still clinging to his skin. Once my crying died down, he stepped back, and kissed my forehead. When he picked me up and placed me on the bed, anyone watching would have never guessed he had hardly been capable of walking just a short time earlier.
After he placed me on the bed, he went to stand by the wall. "Gaebrien, please, lie here with me." I moved over to make room and he came slowly, and unsurely to lie down. I reached out and brushed his hair back with my fingertips, "Gaebrien, I want to believe you, but I don't know if I can trust anyone. So many years of..." He took my hand from his hair and kissed my fingertips.
"Shh... Just listen to me for a minute..." He began singing a fae song I remembered faintly from when we were small. Addina had sung it several times when she thought no one was listening.
I stopped trying to listen and just let the sound fill me, and in doing so, began to understand the words for the first time. "Words can only express so much, the sight of your smile fills my heart with light as warm as the sun. To say I love you would only be to betray the truth of what I feel by showing it for less than it is. To touch you would be to dim the light of the heavens with the soot of the human world. You are my life, my meaning, my soul." I fell asleep in his embrace, listening to the rise and fall of his fae-laced tenor melody.
I woke up and looked at the clock. It showed noon, and only just then did I realize Gaebrien wasn't with me. I got up to find a note beautifully penned in black ink:
"Hitori, I went to find a bank and withdraw some money from the fae account.
I'll come back this afternoon after renting an apartment. If you like, and
your mother agrees, you can stay with my 'family' tonight.
Gaebrien"
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I went downstairs to find Mom and found her on the sofa munching some
cucumber slices. "Mom, Gaebrien left early this morning, but he left a note
saying he'd check with his parent's, and if it was ok with you I could stay
with them tonight. So, can I?"
"Honey, you're eighteen now... You could set your hair on fire and I
couldn't legally stop you. If you want to go you can. Besides, if the rest of
his family is that well mannered, it would be crazy of me not to give it a
chance to rub off on you!" She smiled and I took one of her slices and bit it
in half with a satisfied grin.
Gaebrien called around five and apologized for not being able to come and
escort me to his new place, but gave me directions and promised it would be
worth the walk. I told mom I was going and packed a change of clothes and some
CDS along with my portable player and started down the street. I had all but
made it into town when I ran into Addina. "Hello Hitori. It’s a nice day for
a walk, hm?" She walked up and ran her hand along my cheek, her palm was cool
and smooth as silk. "I've missed you..." She guided me back against a tree and
leaned in to kiss me, and pulled back at the last moment to giggle at me.
"Don't be so surprised, I'm sure you know I've always had a crush on you." She
leaned in again and kissed me gently at first, but then she pried my lips open
with hers and put more passion into the kiss than I had ever felt in Xander's.
To my surprise, I was enjoying it. My hands were stroking her hair, from her
shoulders to her back. I was completely melting into her. Then, she pulled out
of the kiss and grinned wickedly at me. All I could do was stand there,
panting, longing for more. She daintily caught my left earlobe between her
lips and nipped the edge of it with her teeth, sending a shock of pain and
pleasure coursing down my spine. I trembled as she gently suckled it, flicking
the edge with the tip of her tongue, and nipping at it.
Something in my mind was screaming, "More...more," as I felt her hand
sliding down my side and onto my thigh. She ran her nails across the top of my
jeans, using just enough pressure to tickle. A method I had used several times
on Xander to drive him wild. As she got to the inside of my thigh I understood
why it had always worked. I began to pant with the carnal hunger that was
burning the one word in my mind "...more..."
She had just started moving her fingertips up the inside of my leg when I
heard a voice that was both familiar, and completely alien in what it was
saying. "I said to stop it Addina!" I opened my eyes, which I had only just
noticed were closed. Gaebrien was standing behind her, fists clenched and
glowing. Anger and confusion contorted his face to look almost grotesque.
I shook my head to clear it of the last of my thoughts, and the heavy fuzzy
feeling that was with them. Then it all came back to me; the kiss, my ear, her
hands, my... "Oh my God...” I dropped to the ground and held my face in my
hands. It had been a girl. I had wanted the person touching me so badly I
would have done almost anything to have them ravage my body, and it had been a
girl.
She turned a vicious look on Gaebrien and spoke through clenched teeth.
"Fine, Seelie Prince, I leave him in your care... for now.” An overwhelming
smell of cherry blossom filled the area, lingering on the air after she
vanished.
Gaebrien took my bag, "Can you walk a little farther?" I nodded and stood.
He guided me the rest of the way to his apartment in silence. The whole way
all I could think about was how badly I had wanted her. I kept asking myself
why. I'm gay; no girl has ever so much as gotten a small amount of interest
from me before. It was just too much.
We got to the apartment, and I found out why he hadn't been able to come get
me. He had fully furnished the place, and made dinner as well. He sat my stuff
by the door and I automatically kicked off my shoes. He guided me over to the
couch and went to make sure dinner was ready. Joining me on the sofa, he
placed a hand on my shoulder. "Hitori, what's wrong? Please let me help you."
I gaped at him for a moment, and then stammered "But... Addina's a girl." He
nodded, "Yes, and?" On the verge of tears I blurted out, "She's a girl. I'm
gay. Why did I want her? Why couldn't I make her stop? Why did I want a girl?
Why, Gaebrien? Why? I'm so confused." His expression went from worried to
relief. He coughed to clear his throat, and to keep from laughing.
"Is that all that's bothering you? I told you, she's got a lot of power. She
used a mesmer on you just in case you would try to flee in fear. Any
heterosexual human male, and some lower level faeries would have fallen for
her instantly." He started to laugh. "I don't think... she knows... you're
gay," he managed to say through his laughter.
I looked at him in amazed relief, "You mean it was all fake? I didn't really
want her?" He sobered up some from his fit of laughter and gave me one of his
heartstopping smiles.
"Hitori, as strong as that mesmer was, if even the tiniest part of you had
been even a bit interested in her you wouldn't have been able to hold back the
way you did." He reached out and took my hand in his. "For a minute I thought
you had wanted her. Then I felt her magic. I would have felt it a long time
before I saw the two of you, but I was too worried about you, and too angry
with whoever had frightened you to notice." He kissed my hand and led me to
the dinner table.
After dinner, he showed me where the bathroom and bedroom were. I
settled down on the couch again and flipped through a few channels. "Hitori,
I'm going to go take a shower. If you need me, you know where I am." I nodded
and flipped again. He'd only been gone for a few minutes when nature called.
I knocked on the bathroom door, "Umm... Gaebrien, I need to take a leak, is
it ok for me to come in?"
"Yeah, it’s fine go ahead."
I certainly wasn't prepared for what I walked into. I opened the door to
find Gaebrien still taking his shower behind a clear plastic curtain. Every
inch of him was fluid muscle, perfectly toned and well controlled in its
movement. I couldn't help but watch as the warm water ran over his smooth
skin, and his own hands caressed his body leaving thin films of soap bubbles.
As he began to turn, I quickly went about what I had come for.
"Hitori would you hand me one of the towels? They're in the cabinet by the
sink." I washed my hands and grabbed a towel, holding it out behind me as I
backed toward the shower. He reached out from behind the curtain to get the
towel, "What are you doing?" Startled, I jumped and tried to turn around;
slipping on the shirt he had discarded earlier. He reached out and caught me
just before I hit the side of the bathtub. Smiling down at me he said, "Ah,
ah, ah... We can't have you going home sporting welts and bruises." I didn't
dare look up. I held his towel up to him and he laughed at me, "Hitori, I've
got nothing you haven't seen before."
He gently pulled me up, and I turned my head and continued to look at the
floor, feeling my cheeks start to flush, and hoping he couldn't read my
thoughts. He gently tilted my face up to his and smiled, his eyes twinkling
with contained laughter. He leaned down, and gave me a soft kiss. It was
perfection. Intoxicated, I stepped over the side of the bathtub, to be closer,
lightly pressing my lips into his. As we kissed my clothes quickly became
drenched with water, but I couldn't have cared less.
Reluctantly, I let him pull out of the kiss and help me off with my shirt,
his long, thin fingers tracing lightly over my skin, moving smoothly, ever
downward to unfasten my jeans. Once out of them, I worked my way out of my
socks. The only thing standing between us now was two inches of air and one
very thin layer of fabric. As he leaned in for another kiss, I leaned back,
panting slightly. "Are you...using majik on me too?"
Taken slightly aback, Gaebrien reached up and brushed the hair from my face,
taking me by the shoulders and looking me in the eyes. "I would never do that to you, or anyone else. Ever. I love you Hitori, and I would never force you to do something you didn't want to do." He pulled me closer and kissed my
forehead. I took step closer and wrapped my arms around his neck lightly,
letting my head rest against the expanse of waterslicked skin that was his
chest. I listened to his steady heartbeat as the water hissed around us.
Gaebrien had spoken sincerely to me. That was a rare thing for people to do
with me. They always wanted something or were attempting to hide something.
"Thank you." I whispered and continued to rest against him until he turned
off the water and bent to pick up the forgotten towel from the floor. He dried
himself a bit before stepping out of the tub and getting a towel from the
cabinet for me. I dried myself as well as I could, wrapping the towel around
my waist as stepping out of my wet boxers, wincing slightly at the wet smack
as they hit the floor at my feet. Without looking at Gaebrien I made my way
out of the room and down the hall to the bedroom to get my bag.
I dressed quickly in the colder air of the bedroom, wondering why I felt so
strangely today. After pulling on my pjs and some socks I made my way back to
the living room to see Gaebrien adjusting the thermostat with a look on his
face of confusion and frustration. Shaking my head softly I went over and
adjusted the temperature to a comfortable 76 degrees. That done, I went over to the sofa to curl up in one corner of it, tucking my arms between my legs and body, and pulling my feet under me. The show I had been watching earlier was over by this time, and I couldn’t remember where I'd left the remote, not that it really mattered, I wasn't really interested in the TV at the moment, I was lost in thoughts about what all had happened in the past two days. I had loved and lost, and regain a long lost friend, found out he was royalty, that his sister was a danger to all living things, and had him profess love to me.
"Gaebrien... Isn't it kind of sudden to saying you love me? We've not seen
each other in years." I looked down at the floor, I felt stupid for having
asked him that, but I found it kind of startling to have him saying he loved
me after not seeing him for years. I also wondered how it was that I had known
who he was that night. I had hardly been able to see his face, and we had both
grown a lot over the years. We were no longer little kids, and still somehow I
had known it was him. I told myself it was just the accent that had given him
away, but it was more than that. I had felt, more than known that it was
Gaebrien there with me that night, even if I hadn't been able to know.
He started to say something and cut himself off; his head was shaking slowly
as he moved to the bedroom and returned with a blanket. He wrapped it around
me and sat on the other end of the sofa, turning to face me. "I suppose it is
rather sudden, but it doesn't make it any less true. I've watched you as we
grew, spent hours talking to your image in my scrying crystal, and I've had
these feelings for years." He looked down, studying the fabric of the blanket
as he spoke. "My parents tried to arrange for me to be with several
prospective young fae nobles, but I just couldn't make myself feel for them
even a fraction of what I have felt for you."
I winced, thinking of the dates my mother had arrange for me over the past
few years. Complete disasters, each of them. My mother wasn't exactly the best
at picking up my hints about being gay, and I wasn't feeling quite brave
enough just yet to tell her that she wasn't going to have any grandchildren.
I'd had to explain to the girls about the mix up, and several had been
disappointed, most however remained friendly with me. We had just told my
mother that we made better friends than a couple.
"You'll have to have a fae queen, will you not? The royal bloodline will
have to be carried on, and you'll have to have an heir. Why would you want to
have a fling with a human boy? You’ll stop aging soon, even if we were
together, you would outlive me by centuries." I wanted to put his thoughts of
me to rest, yet at the same time, it felt nice to be loved by someone. I
figured I could battle it out with logic, but logic is almost always useless
in matters of the heart or in cases that involve majik.
"Yes and no. I would need an heir, but the fae have never really had many
limitations on sexuality like the humans do. I was born in the conventional way, but others have had children without having to be in a heterosexual relationship. It's uncommon, and in most cases not looked kindly upon for the royals, but it's not forbidden. My 'queen' wouldn't have to be a female, but for me to get an heir, they would have to be a fae."
He looked away sharply, before looking back with a troubled smile. "As for a
'fling with a human boy' I wouldn't want a 'fling' with you Hitori, I would
want you to be my only lover, but can we talk about this some other time?
It’s very complicated to explain right now, and I want to get the whole of
it said right the first time, with no mistakes or confusion, perhaps tomorrow,
or later on. I’ve not been here for so long, and I have only a few weeks to be
here. I’d like to enjoy it.”
I nodded, and lifted the blanket to let him in. "It'll be warmer with us
both under here." I watched as, smiling, he moved closer and closed the
blanket around behind him. He reached up and brushed a few rebellious strands
of my hair from my face and lay against the sofa, watching me tiredly. "You're
still weak aren't you?" He responded with a soft nod, and I readjusted,
pulling him to lay against me more, and wrapping an arm over him.
“Would you like to go on to bed? I won’t mind if you go.” He shook his
head quietly, seeming content to lay there against me for the time being.
Unthinkingly I began to run my fingers through his hair, reciting a Jack
Prelutsky poem I'd read in school years ago, and that hadn’t
crossed my mind for ages. It made me think of Addina in a way.
“In the darkest part of the forests heart,
in the bowels of a stunted tree,
dwells the fairy fair with fiery hair
who bears the name of She.
She is rare of face, with an airy grace,
but evil fills her breast,
by day she sleeps, by night she creeps,
and the forest knows no rest.
When the black bats fly through the cold night sky
she leaves her bed of ferns,
and softly moves on cloven hooves,
as the earth beneath her burns.
When the fairy folk, those wisps of smoke
who flit about the flowers,
sit in the shade of a green grass glade,
they whisper of her powers.
They sit and tell of the evil spell
that turned her soul to stone,
and drove their queen of the fairy green
to the deep dark woods alone.
Now evermore on forest floor
the starcrossed fairy flows,
her fiery eyes slay butterflies
and still the fragrant rose.
Do not go near this forest drear
where lives no bird or bee,
beware! beware! of the fairy fair
who bears the name of She.”
I looked down at Gaebrien as I finished, and from the look on his face I
could tell it had him thinking of her as well. He sighed softly and spoke,
“She’s changed a lot. She wasn’t there to see why you renounced us, and
took it as a personal rejection. She had told our parents that when she grew
up she wanted to marry you and bring you to the faerie realms. They laughed of
course, and told her that she would outlive you by far, and that it was
nonsense to pick her life partner so early on. Mother tried to console her by
telling her that when she finished her growing she could have her pick of any
of the young fae in the kingdoms.” He sighed again, closing his eyes and
shaking his head gently. “She still has a few years before she stops
growing. I’ll start aging more slowlyas soon as the spring arrives. It seems
to have taken forever to reach twenty years, but I’m told it seems like the
blink of an eye compared to the rest our lives.”
He reached up and stroked my cheek softly with his fingertips. “Can you
imagine looking to be twenty for the next two hundred years or so? Living so
long seems so horrible during this ongoing war. If we could end it, maybe
everyone would be happier.” I smiled softly, and tightened my arm around
him.
“You’ll be the one to end it, I’m sure of it. Addina was your friend,
and I’m sure when it comes down to it, she’ll realize she’s made a
mistake by taking the opposing side of a battle that she hated for so long.
She will give in.” He looked up at me and laughed softly. He shook his head
and sighed, sitting up a bit.
“My sister is very stubborn. If it had only been a friendship,
she might have forgiven it, but as she sees it, her brother has sided with the
one who broke her heart, and that is unforgivable. Not only has the one she
loved denounced her, but her own family has sided against her. I’m afraid
this war will only end in death, and likely it will stalemate once again. Both
kingdoms were even in power with two rulers before, and now they will each
have only one.”
My mouth twitched as I prepared to speak. “Then you should marry early,
take a queen, and bring the Seelie throne to full power once again while she
is still on her own, you can overthrow her and end the war with less bloodshed
than before.” He looked at me, and I felt torn. I could tell he could see
the sense in the plan, but also that some part of him wanted to find a way to
make it unfeasible. He thought for a moment and then let his shoulder droop in
defeat.
“It would possibly work, but a marriage is an unbreakable contract. It
wouldn’t be right to enter into something so sacred with someone I felt
nothing for, and be unfaithful to them in my heart.” He shook his head.
“It would end the war, I suppose, but it would destroy me. You see, fae who
made their pledges untruly waste away until they simply cease to exist. The
kingdoms would be in even more turmoil with no royal blood on the throne than
they would with the war. I have to beat her one on one for she cannot love,
and I cannot change my love for you.”
I sat then, thinking over what he’d said. “Would it be possible for me
to visit the fae realm with you when you return, just until the next holiday?
I would like to see how things are there, and then maybe I can help you come
up with some sort of plan.” He blinked, watching me quietly for a moment to
see if I were serious. He counted up the days and did a bit of more magical
math to figure out what all would be involved in making it work.
“Few humans have ever been allowed to see our realms, and most were deemed
insane upon their return. You would have to keep your whereabouts a secret,
and be careful while you were there to abide our laws and rules. The soonest you
could return would be on the Leprechaun’s celebrations day in March, over a
month from when we would be leaving. You’d best talk to your mother about a
sort of ‘vacation’ first.”
“As soon as I get back home I’ll start asking her. I’ll tell her I’m
going to go back with your family to stay for a while and see your home. Maybe
even tell her you’re from another country, and that is why you have the
accent, and that your family has offered to pay for the airfare. Where should
I say you’re from, Romania, maybe?”
I must have fallen asleep while we were discussing the necessities of the
trip, because I awoke in Gaebrien’s bed, and found him in the living room,
sleeping on the sofa. Happy, for what reason I could only pin down being that
I was going to see the fae homeland, I made my way into the kitchen, made some
breakfast.
Last edited by Aerimyth; 01-19-2009 at 11:31 PM..
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