Originally Posted by The Wandering Poet

I see. So you're hoping they got it all out of their system and are maybe ready to pursue a relationship now?

Late!reply is late, sorry!

I'm hoping so :) I went over to theirs on a random impulse, and there seemed to be indications they were interested in just having a snuggle, rather than adult fun times. I did turn them down, not realising that a snuggle was all they wanted at the time ^^; I guess I was used to their usual ways ^^; But yeah, I'm really, really hoping that they might be ready for a proper relationship. I guess time will tell, and that's why I'm in all sorts of knots right now.

No such thing Evi ^^ (I can't remember what shortened name I used to use D:)

Well, if they wanted to snuggle instead, it sounds like they are making a little progress
Best thing I can recommend though is lots of communication. If you only want to snuggle, maybe put that out there before you get there.

Hello everyone, how are you all going?

Originally Posted by The Wandering Poet

No such thing Evi ^^ (I can't remember what shortened name I used to use D:)

Well, if they wanted to snuggle instead, it sounds like they are making a little progress
Best thing I can recommend though is lots of communication. If you only want to snuggle, maybe put that out there before you get there.

Haha, Evi works just fine. Or you could call me Kat :D Most people generally do these days anyway :)

See, I didn't know at the time, but it was a nice gesture. Communication is key, though. I think that's where I went wrong when I cut things off the first time around. I guess I was scared of how they'd react if I told them that I wanted to cool things off, so I didn't say anything. I don't think he took it too well, though, 'cause he was very snarky towards me for a few weeks. It got to be rather uncomfortable, and I did get angry, mainly because I thought he was being a straight up asshole. But then I realised that I hadn't been fair, so then I started feeling bad, because I knew I hadn't been fair to him, and he was using snark to communicate his, well, disappointment, I guess, for lack of a better word.

And then I realised that I wanted to give him another chance, and I missed being friends with him. So I started warming back up to him, and it was a big plus when he began responding in kind :) So I think we're back to being good friends at least. If he is perhaps willing to look at a proper relationship, I'm all for it, though I would understand if he was a bit cautious this time around. I guess time will tell :)

It's so cool that you let the kids go1st.😉😉😉

Haha - your sarcasm is noted... normally it's not both at once. And I am indeed getting sick.

Originally Posted by LiviInLove

Haha - your sarcasm is noted... normally it's not both at once. And I am indeed getting sick.

Love your Avis background work.

Sounds like things are working out well for now Evi ^^
Just make sure that you maintain that communication. Especially since you had a different type of relationship, if you pursue a romantic relationship you will need to set the boundaries for sure to avoid confusion.

Livi - that avi gives me mixed feelings... happily depressed is what comes to mind...

happily depressed.....hmmm

Happily depressed, sounds like happy to be depressed. I have to do dishes eventually, but can't be bothered. I have little to no energy lately.

Originally Posted by The Wandering Poet

Sounds like things are working out well for now Evi ^^
Just make sure that you maintain that communication. Especially since you had a different type of relationship, if you pursue a romantic relationship you will need to set the boundaries for sure to avoid confusion.

Oh I plan to. Like I said, nothing's been said per se, so I'm not really sure what's going to happen next, but I'm happy to take it however it comes. If he wants to pursue a proper relationship, well and good, but if not, I won't be too terribly fussed. Well, maybe a little ^^; But I guess time will tell. It's all really in his corner. He did tell me about the time he was seeing someone else, and she kinda freaked out, according to him. So in his mind, I did the same, so he's not sure, and I don't blame him. I didn't cover myself with glory, so if he's being cautious, well, so be it.

Ah, if it's been a recurring thing that might be why he's afraid to pursue a relationship with strings attached
I hope it all ends well in your favor

Happily Depressed isn't what I was going for - I just wanted a background that'd make the rainbow pop. And black was the only background I had that worked... I have minimal items and not a lot of time to figure out other items to work because most of the time - I'm posting a few times and getting pulled off. :/

I repeat. Great job.

Well Livi either way it looks lovely

It looks beautiful Liv; it really does.

Originally Posted by The Wandering Poet

Ah, if it's been a recurring thing that might be why he's afraid to pursue a relationship with strings attached
I hope it all ends well in your favor

And I can totally understand why he wanted to keep things casual the first time around. I guess at the time I wasn't feeling quite myself (and to a degree I'm still not, but that's another story for another time ^^; ), and so I felt that it just wasn't enough for me. But I'm definitely willing to stick it out this time around, and if he wants to keep things "casual" again, I'm all for it. No strings attached is okay by me, because if someone else comes along who totally sweeps me off my feet, all well and good, and there aren't any hurt feelings this time around. Put it this way, if I do decide down the track that I want to back off, this time I'll actually TALK to him and let him know, rather than breaking it off without a word. At least he's got no hard feelings, so I can take comfort in that :D And it's nice to see him back to his usual teasing best :D

Thank you! Sorry for the delay - I'm quite sick at the moment and really lacking energy to post right now.

EvilPagemistress: I say let him go at the pace that he feels comfortable with, and keep all lines of communication open. Which is what should have been done in the first place, if you did break it off with no word before - no wonder he's hesitant now.

Originally Posted by LiviInLove

EvilPagemistress: I say let him go at the pace that he feels comfortable with, and keep all lines of communication open. Which is what should have been done in the first place, if you did break it off with no word before - no wonder he's hesitant now.

Oh I plan to. Communication is good I don't plan on making the same mistake twice ^^;

Originally Posted by EvilPagemistress

Oh I plan to. Communication is good I don't plan on making the same mistake twice ^^;

why would you just cut him off and leave without any word in the first place? I know my husband would be pissed if I ever did that to him - not that I ever would... :/

---------- Post added 07-29-2015 at 07:56 AM ----------

I may need to try to get some more sleep - so if I take awhile to respond, I'm probably asleep. (I'm taking advantage of the girls not being here so I can actually sleep uninterrupted.)

You enjoy that sleep Livi

Evi - I hope you'll keep us up to date

I hope you have a wonderful sleep liv.

Originally Posted by LiviInLove

why would you just cut him off and leave without any word in the first place? I know my husband would be pissed if I ever did that to him - not that I ever would... :/

I spent 4 years of my life tiptoeing around my ex-fiance - anything could piss him off at any time, and I soon learned to watch my Ps and Qs around him, just in case he bit my head off (which he did on a very frequent basis in any case, so it really didn't matter).

So that's why when this situation came up with J, I wasn't sure how he'd react if I told him I wanted to break things off. For all I knew, he was going to be like my ex-fiance. I just didn't know how he was going to react, and I was worried he might've gone and bitten my head off. Of course, now I know better, but at the time, I didn't. And I am WELL aware that I did the wrong thing. I've already acknowledged it, and I plan on NOT making the same mistake a second time. (And I'm sorry if I sound a bit snappish, but honestly, I've already acknowledged that I did the wrong thing. I would now like to please move past my bad behaviour and focus on the future, thank you).

@The Wandering Poet - Thanks! He was being his usual flirty self last night, and I got a damn good giggle out of it, so all is good :) If it changes, I shall be sure to update :D

Ah the giggle. A cure all :D

Exs are an interesting experience in life. Even when they are gone it's amazing how much of our future they ended up shaping. I learned that after getting divorced.

Giggles make the world go around :D And cuddles. Cuddles are always a feel good thing *nods* I like my cuddles very much!

Yeah, my ex was, for lack of a better word, a borderline psychotic sonofabitch. And that's putting it kindly. As I mentioned in my post above yours, anything could set him off, and he would go off his NUT when he got angry. It scared me like nobody's business whenever he blew his stack, because I could never be sure just where that anger would be directed next. And to make matters worse, before long, he'd be back to normal, as if nothing had happened. Not to mention the fact he also didn't seem to like all my little quirks, and before long, I found myself having to stifle them so I wouldn't "annoy" him or set him off. Someone pointed out to me a little while ago that he forced me to stifle myself because he was jealous some other guy would find my quirks attractive, and looking back, that kinda makes sense.

But I've kinda gone a bit off track here ^^; He lived with me for more than 4 years, and during that time, I was put through some serious emotional abuse. To this day I'm still wary of guys to an extent, but nowhere near as bad as I was when I finally kicked the ex out almost 2 years ago. And that's the reason why I broke it off with J without saying anything, because I had no idea if he was going to take it calmly, or if he was going to blow his stack like the ex did. I know now that I had no reason to be worried, because J doesn't strike me as that type of person, but I didn't know it at the time. I guess you could call it a self-defence mechanism ^^;