I am new at this so I just started this a while back and didn't know what to do with it so i'm gonna write it out and see what people think. My dream is to become a writer and i would be i favor for soe criticism, my parents say that it's good but i'm not sure. Just read it and see what will some of it. This i only an excerpt, or what i've come up with so far. Warning: I might end up leaving this as it is to keep you coming. I know this sounds harsh but when i mean i need criticism i really need it.


It had been a long day and now it was raining. Another day gone bad and so far this had been the worst part of the month for Jade. Jade had been staying with a friend since her parents were on vacation, but apparently her parents had to decide which friend she went with and that started disaster. When she realized that they turned onto another avenue one block before going to her best friend's house she worried since Maria's house was on this corner. The worse was to come two days after she went to her house, right when scool started. Apparently Maria had been staying at her cousin's house and would not return until that Monday.
That Monday she had gone to school and the day seemed to feel less gloomy when her best friend, Catherine, was sitting next to her. She felt safe afterwards, but she knew instantly that when she goes back home with Maria her world was about to become very miserable. She had asked all of her friends what to do and they told her that maybe she oughta run away and stay with one of them instead of Maria, butince everyone knew that Maria ould try to find out and get her into trouble they decided against this.
"What am I going to do?" asks Jade," I can't stay at Maria's house she would rather kill me than see me off happy with the rest of you."
"The only reason you ought not to do this is because of her. This is the way things are with us. Remember what she almost succeded in doing?" Jade nodded slowly regretting where this was going," She nearly succeded in having the whole clan go against us, if she wasn't so power thirsty I wouldn't have needed to kick her out but she wouldn't stop. I know that the two of you were really, and I mean really, close friends but she wasn't going to give up the power so we forced it from her and then the clan was able to see what she was really up too."
"Yes, I regretted it and when she expected me to be there for her i couldn't be because of what she was doing. I tried expaining that to her but she drove me away as soon as the words came out of my mouth. I was crushed by her sudden act of rejection torwards me. I could never forget that day. Don't you ever wished that there would be a world where there was good and evil, but you were the strongest person and you just happened to be the most popular person in the world? I mean whtat if that world were to come true?"
What in the world was that? thought Jade.

you going to continue?

you should keep going

I should but I gotta think. I gotta make sure i will keep ya'll coming. :D so it's gonna be another one of the short sections.