I have to apologize to everyone here because I'm clearly biased, but it always seems to me that orphans are treated less than... like they're not even worth anything. When people place a greater worth on someone else--especially for the reasons cited in this thread--it always has a habit of making me sick to my stomach.

I disagree Cheya, that adopted kids are treated worse.
My friend found out recently, at 17 (a bit late in her life, IMO) that she was adopted.
She has two younger brothers and one little sister, who are all born by her parents.

She said she never noticed any difference in their up bringing...

But then again, I suppose it all depends on the parent.
For example, my aunt had Jonathan, my cousin when she was 21.
His father left.
About 8 or 9 years later, she got married , and had a child to her husband...
Jono's 19 now, and his brother is 6, and is treated waaay better than Jono ever was.
It's not like Jonathan was even that old when his mum got married :-/

So honestly, I think it depends. I'd love to adopt, but if everyone were to adopt as opposed to having children themselves, there wouldn't be any kids to adopt.

If there was a balance, I guess it would be better. Somewhere in the middle, so that kids aren't growing up in social care.
I'd love to adopt one day, I'm glad that there is that opportunity. It just takes a very long time, and it's a stressful process for those depending on it.

But until they're adopted, what kind of place are these kids living in and what kind of people are taking care of them....?

As a child who was adopted I'm a very big advocate on adoption. I hear the arguments that people want bloodrelated children to "carry on the family genes" but it doesn't matter if you have the genes or not. It should be "carry on the family ideals." Genes can go either way. You have your own child and they could be the rudest, most horrible kid on the block. Bet you wish you adopted then?

But seriously - being adopted gives a kid a new chance at life. Even if you want to have kids of your own - have a kid or two and then adopt another. It's a good balance.

I was lucky enough to be adopted at a young age and I didn't have to go through much pain. However i hate doing things like cultural heritage project and family histories. I don't know mine because I'm adopted. and I would tell that to teachers and they would tell me to "make something up instead" and I would be like "that's just not fair!"

But that doesn't come close to some of the kids I've seen. My brothers, who are also adopted, had it worse off then me. My one brother's parents stole money, skipped town, and abused him and his siblings. He STILL has nightmares. He's turning 18 in a few weeks and he STILL has nightmares about when he was 4 years old. He comes screaming into my room at night because it was such a traumitizing situation for him. But he had a new chance with my mother who treated him much better. Over the years the nightmares have lessoned.

Kah, rather in a care home than on the street?
Or with parents who can't afford to care for them?

I agree with you Maria, as to carrying on family genes. Who really cares? What difference will it make? Everyone's different anyway!

But I'd love to have my own baby someday and experience pregnancy.
It's just so I can say that I created someone with love.

But I do want to adopt. I firmly believe that you can feel a mothering bond with a child you didn't give birth too.

I would tell that to teachers and they would tell me to "make something up instead"

Srsly. Fuck that.
That's rather rude.

I can only go as far back as my grandad, 'cause he was an orphan.
If I was told to make something up I'd be pretty pissed!

Originally Posted by Heavens_Blade

If we can't take care of the children in this world already, why make more?

My opinion is that we should adopt, before making more kids. What are your thoughts?

My thoughts are that people should take care of their own kids so someone else doesn't have to. But killing everyone else's unborn children for the sake of the ones that lived would be pretty messed up.

Of course that would require people to stop acting like animals (who can just procreate and then abandon their young), so that they don't have to do either (abandon or think it's okay to kill them), which is probably not going to happen as long as there are selfish people living in this world.

People shouldn't be forced to adopt since some of them doesn't feel comfortable by taking care of other kids. Sometimes it's prefer they stay in a nice play as orphans then in a place that is unwanted by the mother or father. It always depends who doesn't like the unwanted child.

I wouldn't mind to adopt a baby. Later I will think more of that when I plan to have children but I will always want a child that comes from my belly xD The genes of me and my future husband.

But theres who adopts like more then five kids and then they can't take care of them.. That is too much as well. The intention is wonderful but then they need to get help to feed the kids. I don't like when it turns that way. So if you think there would be a rule for that. Then every citizen should be able to at least adopt one kid and have a kid or two ( depending on their wish of having big families) of their own blood. Instead of having four of their own blood and then kids waiting to to be adopted.

Sounds nice to you? Every couple that has conditions and wants more then one kid could adopt one kid. :]
I'm thinking in doing that. Having two of my own and then another two adopted xD But will depend on the father. One can't decide that.

Originally Posted by Kultura

I disagree Cheya, that adopted kids are treated worse.

I'm not talking about that.

It's the whole idea that one child is worth more because of their origins. One child is worth more because they're related to you. One child is worth more just because they have you and your spouses DNA (come to think of it, I wonder if they'd still love the kid if it ended up horrendously ugly because of their DNA)... that's what makes me sick.

Parents are always gonna love their child.
Whether adopted or born by them.
Even if they're "ugly". That's not gonna stop parents from loving their child.
No one child is worth more than the other.

No one child is worth more than the other.

That made me laugh so hard, but then I felt bad for laughing because I know it's only true in some wonderful Care Bear fantasy land.

There isn't any need to be rude or sarcastic :-/
At all.
It's entirely besides the point and my opinion.
you shouldn't be so mean when I'm just giving things how I see it.

I'm sorry you feel so differently Dx

Who's being rude? :|

Originally Posted by Cheya

That made me laugh so hard, but then I felt bad for laughing because I know it's only true in some wonderful Care Bear fantasy land.

As the saying goes, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

Originally Posted by Kultura

As the saying goes, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

Only because you don't agree with what's being said. I stand by what I say: the world isn't a pleasant fruity place of all goodliness and not every child has the same worth as illustrated in this thread thousands of times over.

Now, I will get rude if I'm provoked properly.

No - rudeness is not necessary or welcome at all . . provocation or not.


Please keep this civil or this will be locked.

Originally Posted by siaasgn

No - rudeness is not necessary or welcome at all . . provocation or not.


Please keep this civil or this will be locked.

I'm just hoping that she realizes I had NO intention of being "rude"--whatever the hell defines rude--that I was merely poking fun at a naive statement.

Which was kind of rude being that she was being serious and you transformed it into a naive joke o.ô

*ahem*

In my opinion, if a parent is decided to love their children, they will wether it turns out to be a Quasimodo or an alien-like being. Not all children have the luck of being born in a loving family that has plans for his/her life, though.

Love is something you develop, not something that comes with a package or hits you in the face. If you decide to take care of a child that is not yours, even if when you adopt him/her it turns out to be the devil incarnated, you'll be so decided you'll eventually transform that kid into a desirable person. Only reason not to "love enough" an adopted child is if you had doubts or didn't put enough effort in the kid's raising.

Originally Posted by Cheya

I'm just hoping that she realizes I had NO intention of being "rude"--whatever the hell defines rude--that I was merely poking fun at a naive statement.

Can I just say, generally people do not like to have other people "poking fun" at them.

Originally Posted by Cheya

Only because you don't agree with what's being said. I stand by what I say: the world isn't a pleasant fruity place of all goodliness and not every child has the same worth as illustrated in this thread thousands of times over.

This "pleasant fruity place of goodliness" applies to MAJORITY of cases with children. Of course sometimes things are different. But that's only few cases.
What about the many millions of children who are all happy and are treated equally? Do they not exist or something?

I wouldn't describe the world as a "pleasant fruity place of goodliness" for ANYONE, adopted or not, and I certainly wouldn't say the majority of children live in such a universe.
No, life sucks for pretty much everyone; even a child who is loved endlessly and given the world can be miserable. I don't know anyone who would say that the world is a wonderful, lovely place of joy and butterflies.

Straying to a different topic:
And I can kind of understand the fear that you wouldn't love children that aren't your own. Normally after pregnancy and birth you become attached to the child on some level, and that maternal instinct kicks in. With adoption, you don't have that. I read that many adoptive mothers go through quite a bit of struggle in the beginning, so it kind of is a valid fear.

Originally Posted by Cheya

I'm not talking about that.

It's the whole idea that one child is worth more because of their origins. One child is worth more because they're related to you. One child is worth more just because they have you and your spouses DNA (come to think of it, I wonder if they'd still love the kid if it ended up horrendously ugly because of their DNA)... that's what makes me sick.

They will still love the id being ugly or not xD If you look attentively *(?!) you will see that to their eyes the child is always beautiful :o

* with attention ( dunno if the word is correct right now o.< )

Originally Posted by Cheya

Only because you don't agree with what's being said. I stand by what I say: the world isn't a pleasant fruity place of all goodliness and not every child has the same worth as illustrated in this thread thousands of times over.

You might not seeing the world in complete. Earth is not a fruit of cake but is not exactly a hell as it looks. What we can see is ignorant people being egoistic and not see what they could do to help a child or anything else.

Millions of people are fighting to help others. Don't be blind about it and say that the world is an awful place... It will only turn worse if you keep thinking like that sugar o.<

Fabby, it's as pleasant as you want it to be. The world is what you make of it.

I find it hard to find the world a pleasant place when the suffering of billions is taken into account.
Then again, I'm a pessimist.

Originally Posted by Kultura

Can I just say, generally people do not like to have other people "poking fun" at them.

You =/= your statement

Therefore, me showing the nativity of a statement (NOT yourself) is NOT hurting you. You are hurting yourself by taking offense. It's THAT simple.

Originally Posted by Kultura

This "pleasant fruity place of goodliness" applies to MAJORITY of cases with children. Of course sometimes things are different. But that's only few cases.

Here we have it: because a majority of children are happy, we can toss aside the FEW that aren't. That's a great sentiment to have right there.

Originally Posted by Kultura

What about the many millions of children who are all happy and are treated equally? Do they not exist or something?

I assure you I acknowledge their existence and that I would focus on them save for the fact that someone's there for them and that they're happy. Hence NO cause for concern to them if they're being loved and cared for.

no kidding, it keeps getting harder and harder to adopt a child, but there are so many children out there who need a home.

I was just thinking....Overall its the argument of Carry on genetics Vs. Take care of children that already exist and need love. Why can't you do both? If I ever have children I would like to first adopt a child... And later maybe have a biological child.