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attackat
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Old 08-15-2008, 11:24 PM

I'm migrating a few things from my gaia journal, because I decided to make my journal private after I began putting more personal things in it. I'm both attackatt, and The_Violet_Hour_Damyata on there. I sign my work Kitty LeFay Hawkins. Some things may also have been posted on flashbunny.net earlier this year. Just to make sure I don't get accused of stealing :sweat: I wasn't getting any critique over there, or any plain old comments for that matter...
Anyway, for some fresh critique, here goes:

Sometimes I wonder...


My hands could not be colder,
Were I death himself in drag.
And the snow is matched in color,
By my knuckles clenched so tight.
Drops of blood never smelled so sweet,
Before my life was just a dream.
And it hung from the many strings,
Of Satan's fishing lines.

-Kitty LeFay Hawkins

Roses Passe?

A red rose for love,
A black rose for death.
If I had a red rose,
Would I give it to you?
If the rose would turn black,
Then you'd love me too.

I can't help but court death.
Tall, dark, and handsome,
The way we all like,
And an excellent dancer,
From centuries past.

You gave me a red rose,
Once white slick with blood,
I would give you a black rose,
If you promised to love.

I've never been bested by a rose's thorns,
But I've never been tested by human scorn.
So could you teach me, Darling?

I don't understand why it is all dark,
Why my eyes are so heavy, the approaching dark.

Goodbye friends, I go to join my love.

-Kitty LeFay Hawkins

Earlier than usual
There is an early nightfall,
Brought on by rainclouds,
Darkening the skies.
They are rulers,
Dark faced weepers.
Spreading ink from ground to sky.
And causing my morning to slowly die.

-Kitty LeFay Hawkins


Thanks for reading! Critique is greatly appreciated, the newest is at the bottom. <3

Last edited by attackat; 08-17-2008 at 03:19 AM..

 


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