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Okkuu
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#1
Old 10-09-2008, 06:26 PM

Trapped in a glass box
watching you walk away
not caring where i am
or even what i am doing
you fade away
as i stay there taped crying
i love you
i thought you loved me
but all you did was walk
leaving me on the floor
as the pain consumes me

i do have more poems and i would love to hear some comments to make my poems better. other then the fact that my spelling isn't right because i know that already.

Last edited by Melody; 10-15-2008 at 02:21 PM.. Reason: double post

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#2
Old 10-10-2008, 06:28 PM

come on people i want to know what you think pleeaaaaasssssssseeeeeeeeee read please *gets on hands and knees* pleas *puppy dog look* i just want to know

Last edited by Melody; 10-15-2008 at 02:22 PM..

Melody
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#3
Old 10-15-2008, 02:23 PM

I've merged your first two posts and deleted the spam in your third. Please if you want people to see your topic, add something in the title like "looking for critique' or post on topic "hey can someone give me some critique on this" don't post random nonsense. Thanks (:

 



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