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Ursus.Veritas
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#1
Old 01-13-2009, 03:13 AM

Well, I found this in my binder and I thought that I'd share it with everyone.

Side Effects to Breathing
Betrayl, anyone?
A sliver platter to serve it on, as well?
My dear, say yes, say yes!
I would love to bring it to you,
Along with heartbreak
And suffering.


Drabble at best, but it made me smile when I read it. I like it and I wish for some constructive criticism, so... reply away, dearies.

Kumajii
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#2
Old 01-18-2009, 09:46 AM

Hmm that's the kind of poem that would go well with a small doodle in a scrapbook or something.

Ursus.Veritas
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#3
Old 01-24-2009, 09:05 PM

Well, I can't draw really, so little drabbles are my doodles. Any constructive crit?

Mellie_AngelRose
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#4
Old 02-02-2009, 03:45 AM

I like the poem but I don't get the the title.
Explain to me?

lillita
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#5
Old 02-15-2009, 11:20 PM

What a great poem, you fit a lot into very few lines!

 


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