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Wildfirev
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#1
Old 01-17-2009, 12:25 AM

This is a bit older story of mine... I was thinking of trying to make it into a novel, but lacked a truly good plotline.. so it got left as is. Which makes it a ok short story.

It's not the greatest, but I don't think it's the worst either. So if you read it and want to comment. Great. I'll even take flames on how bad it is... See I like fire, so flames are fun for me. ^_^

This is a seperate story from my drabbles. I forgot to mention that.

~~~~~~~~

The Fall of the Fifth Kingdom

The darkness of the night was shattered by the flames consuming the Kingdom of Light. The night, was to have been a night of celebration, the new Queen was to have been crowned, but alas, warring Kingdoms had ended that.The four warring Kingdom had attacked before Princess Lumna could be crowned and now the last remaining royalty of the Light Kingdom watched as her kingdom burned below her.

Lumna looked out at her kingdom from the balcony outside her room. The devastation she saw was horrible. The people of her kingdom were being slaughtered. Many had been killed as they slept, many more had been struck down as they tried to stop the warring soldiers, and some simply vanished under the assault of elemental magics.

The kingdom of Light was a peaceful kingdom, unfortunately it was surrounded by four other Kingdoms that were always at war. The fire-dwellers of the Northern Plains of Flame battled the Southern Kingdom of Gayia, while the Tornad Empire of the East warred with the Western Sovereignty of Springs. Being in the middle of all of these kingdoms meant that the Kingdom of Light was now suffering greatly due the the wars.

As the solitary Princess looked out at her devastated kingdom, she saw an intense glow come from the North, where the fiery people of Flame dwelt.

"The fire-dwellers? They hold the key to restoration?" Lumina quietly pondered as she gazed to the North again to confirm her suspicions. She then called out to a man outside her door. "Cisson! Come here. Tell me, what do you see from the North?"

Cisson, a muscular man with dirty blonde hair, clothed in glistening white armor approached the Princess and gazed to the North in an attempt to see what his oldest friend had seen.

"Lumna, the glow from the North is intense, but it is only the glow from all the magic the fire mages are using." Cisson spoke with a tone that spoke of his bravery. To contradict the last remaining member of the Light Royalty took courage as she could easily have him banished.

"Only part of the glow is from the magic of the fire mages. The magicians of Flame could never produce a glow that bright. Its seems as if it is day there, when night has long since fallen. No, part of that glow is the power of the chosen. She has sent her power back to protect her ancestors. I know this must be true." Lumna stated adamantly as she walked towards the doors that led to her room.

"Are you certain Lumna? Why would the chosen be from the fire Kingdom? That is the harshest and cruelest Kingdom. The chosen would be harsh and cruel, not kind and peaceful, like in your visions." Cisson argued as he tried to over come his shock. The Kingdom of Flame had always been known for it's fierce warriors and malevolent mages.

"I am." Lumna replied as she went to her wardrobe and pulled out a small silk scarf. "Cisson, I have an important task for you. You must go to the rulers of Flame and explain to them what is to come. I will remain here, with my people and do what I can."

"No! Lumna, I will not leave you to these beasts. They're already destroying the kingdom. I cannot let them destroy you as well." Cisson cried out in alarm even as Lumna wrote a brief message on a piece of parchment.

"You must go." Lumna said as she dried the ink, rolled and sealed the message with wax. "I will do...what needs to be done to save the kingdom. The spell I was forbidden to try."

"But.. That spell... It will kill you!" Cisson grabbed Lumna's shoulders. "You cannot! I won't let you! Lumna... please, I will do anything if you will not use that spell."

"I want you to deliver this message to the rulers of Flame, Cisson." Lumna said softly. "This is important to the later revival of the kingdom. I can only trust you with this. Please Cisson. Do this."

"I cannot talk you out of this, can I?" Cisson asked as he pulled Lumna into a hug to help hide the tears forming in his eyes.

"No, you can't. I will see you again Cisson. In the beyond. But please.. live for me, since I cannot live for myself." Lumna said as she pulled away from her friend, walking over to where the servants had placed her crown.

"I... will do my best, your majesty." Cisson bowed as the princess placed the crown on her head.

"That is all I can ask of you, my dearest friend. Now... go. Send a signal up when you have reached the outside walls. I will not cast the spell until then."

"As you wish, my lady... my love." Cisson said, then hurried out the door and down the hallway. He couldn't stay to see Lumna's reaction. He couldn't give himself that luxury. She was destined for greater things now.

Cisson battled his way through the kingdom and to the outer-walls, just before dawn. He sent up a flare, then hurried out of the kingdom and to the path that would take him to Flame's capitol. He only stopped when he heard the loud crash of magic behind him. Turning, he gave a small cry of pain as he looked upon he former home. It was encased it bright magic. The small walled city around the castle was now sealed off from everyone and everything. No live would remain within those walls until the chosen set loose the seals.

Turning away from the dead city, the knight continued on his way to Ignigh, Flame's capitol. For his love, he would carry on. For his love he would try to live even though his heart now felt as dead as his home. He would deliver this message, and.. the Almightly Light willing. He would join his love and not have to worry about this darkened world again. And that would be alright by him.

Last edited by Wildfirev; 01-17-2009 at 02:56 AM.. Reason: clearing something up.

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#2
Old 01-17-2009, 09:01 PM

Wow! I say continue the book, you could have something not happen to the princess and she ends up surviving but captured and then you could say how he got the message and the knight delivered it and he finds out before he kills himself that she still lives and hope rekindles. Something like that. Do you get where I'm going?

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#3
Old 01-18-2009, 03:11 AM

Actually, when I was first writing this. The knight was going to be tricked into drinking an potion that would keep him alive until the chosen had done their job. And the princess was actually the wards/seal that kept the Kingdom of Light sealed off from the rest of the world.

The City would be a ghost town, but everything would remain as some sort of macabre effigy to the former kingdom. And eventually they knight and princess would be reunited.

The part that keeps sticking me.. .the chosen was going to be a loud-mouth, somewhat lazy, hot-headed Princess of Flame. I get to writing her and .. Poof! Nothing wants to come out.

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#4
Old 01-18-2009, 03:33 AM

I like this very much, I'm interested in what would happen next. I don't always like fantasy stories but I do like this one.

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#5
Old 01-18-2009, 03:48 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeanie View Post
I like this very much, I'm interested in what would happen next. I don't always like fantasy stories but I do like this one.

Oh.. wow. Thanks Jeanie. ^_^

I really appreciate you reading my story.
If I can ask, what do you like about it? I honestly have always had a bit of a problem with this story. I get an idea, go to write and it's like someone decided to throw in a block right at the beginning. Writer blocks are annoying. ^_^

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#6
Old 01-18-2009, 04:00 AM

I'm not really sure to be honest. I am interested in the characters and how they will develop sort of thing. (sorry it's 4am, my mind doesn't want to be coherent) I don't know, I just find that I wan to know what happens next. I think I've turned all girlie because I want to know if/when they get reunited and how their relationship works out.

I found it easy to read and I didn't get distracted from it which I often do with stories, especially at this time of night and with my music on as well.

Sorry I can't really shed much light on why I like it, but if it comes to me I'll let you know. :sweat:

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#7
Old 01-18-2009, 04:03 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeanie View Post
I'm not really sure to be honest. I am interested in the characters and how they will develop sort of thing. (sorry it's 4am, my mind doesn't want to be coherent) I don't know, I just find that I wan to know what happens next. I think I've turned all girlie because I want to know if/when they get reunited and how their relationship works out.

I found it easy to read and I didn't get distracted from it which I often do with stories, especially at this time of night and with my music on as well.

Sorry I can't really shed much light on why I like it, but if it comes to me I'll let you know. :sweat:

Cool, I know how that can feel. Brain fog is never much fun.. especially if you don't have anyone there to think up stupid things that you'll laugh at then wonder why the next morning. It's like being drunk without the hang-over.

Well I'm glad you liked it. And I'll see what I can do about writing more for it.
And if anything comes to mind as sticking out. I've love to hear it. ^_^

Thanks again for reading.

 


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