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Lily_bug
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#1
Old 01-28-2009, 07:43 PM

I had writen this poem awhile back and i was wondering what you all thought??
I would like it if you could help me make it better..

As Summer Ends

As summer truns into fall
The leaves on the old oak trees
Look as if they had been in gold

A woman of wisdom comes to the trees
The golden leaves fall around her
As she looks up at the oldest of the oaks

She sees the writing of a time in the past
A note left to her by her love
Writen on the bark of the old oak


:) Tell me what you think and what i can change to make it better!!:)

Mellie_AngelRose
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#2
Old 02-02-2009, 03:21 AM

I think it is adorable.
I love the love of the old.
It amazes me the sheer volume of their love.
How one person could be with another person for so long.
Keep writing I really like it.

 


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