Mitsu-kun- Oh there was no way in hell they were going to do ANYTHING to help me without renewing the contract. It was pulling teeth as it was to get them to give me a "free" phone that left me with two dollars to my name. :headdesk:

Lord Angle Newlife- It is a precarious place. I suppose the most literal meaning behind when I say that is that I have had suicidal ideations for years, but almost one year ago I actually had the will to go through with it if I had the means, a quick means at that, as there was a friend on dispatch ready to be at my place in five minutes. I took a Xacto knife and cut into my left forearm with 47+ unique strokes, "I DIED DEC 22 , 2008". Ever since then, I feel like life has been a 'bonus level'. However with the season changing and the anniversary of that date approaching, my mind has been on death alot. I wrote and revised my will of my meager possessions online twice, and I gave "the keys to the kingdom", all of my online passwords to a friend by SSHing into his linux box and hiding it in a home directory there. He's also employed as an anti-hacker hacker (Penetration test) person sometimes, so it's in one of the safest places. On October 30th I was expecting to be overwhelmed the following week, but I had things to look forward to on the 31st. That night I was the second-most suicidal I had been for a year and was even choosing which objects to adorn my body with before... leaving the physical world. A chance email to someone I consider to be a mentor, and his reply (and the dire news that like me he stood a chance of being homeless in two days as well) managed to stave it off. I am clinically depressed, on medication, etc, but I am also transitioning my medical affairs which is taxing to say the least on top of all of my other 'problems'.

My bank was in overdraft by 97 dollars. My meagar paycheck for a substitute teaching job brought me back into the black by 8 dollars.

An old friend from 6 years ago resurfaced, and one of my two current best friends, between the two of them it looks like they robbed ATMs for me and covered my 700 rent so I have a roof over my head for one more month.

You can read my 'fun' time trying to get a replacement phone as mine has been lost/stolen for the past two and a half weeks. Even with a manager override to give me a 'free' phone it still took ALL of my resources and had me considering my funeral once again as I drove home.

As I previously mentioned, this is but ONE of the meanings behind that phrase, but it is the most mundane and easily understood from an outside perspective.

[EDIT] TekTek was designed with Gaia in mind, however since both systems run off BBcode, many of their features work for Menewsha. For example, I use TekTek's random signature generator HERE, and not on Gaia. Gold is also the currency of both sites, so the questbar works in DarkFae-senpai's case.

DarkFae-senpai- Reading your anecdote concerning Verison caused me to grit my teeth. Thankfully (I think) I have not had to declare bankruptcy at age 24. I'm barely managing to keep my student loans at bay and well... still barely managing to survive. Ever since the carpet was pulled out from beneath my feet by the leaders of my teaching program... I have been a lost soul just trying to make end's meet... I've been doing so for three years now and let me assure you that it has grown quite tiresome while my conditions (physical and mental) have only increased in pain...

Hello everyone, for those who doesn't know, I am Mei's mule ^^

Crow: I see, god she seemed really pushy anyway it seems like the company are asswhole from what i can tell. Thats is after reading youre and Darkfea storie and some other comments ive heard from people? They may have been from you i dont know but Ive heard nothing but bad things about that company from on here.

Well it seems like you're having alot of trouble at the moment money wise. Here a tip if you have any debt repayment issues. If a company tries to take you to court and such let them do it. taking you to court will cost them more money, send annoying letters back to the company. they have to respond and by doing so that will cost the company money... The idea is to get to a point were is costing the company more to follow you up than it is to get the money from you. Most companys will just look at it and think there is no vaulue left it tracing you at the moment.

Also im not sure how it works in the State put in the UK there is a miniume ammount of money that debt firms legally have to accept. I know this from my brother working for a bank for 5 years on customer services. You can offer £1 a week and they have to accept that, basiclly that means I have no intention of ever paying the money back. If it works the same in the US just go to court and then appel saying you can only afford to pay back the minium amount per week. ^^ hay Im already doing my job as a debt adverisor lol,

Crow I can never say i have been in the same situation however, i have looked down the blade i plunged into me wondering why i couldn't end it. All i can say to you is to adrone to life and the possibility for the biltzful happiness that may peruse.

Mule of Mei- Greetings. If you have any bitter feelings towards Verizon or any other cell/mobile service provider, feel free to chime in. Back in high school it was Cingular that treated me horribly... then a separate AT&T got bought out by them... when I lost that phone was when I switched service.... it's really funny because later a DIFFERENT branch of AT&T bought out cingular -_-

Mitsu-kun- I received charity assistance for the $2,000 hospital bill (after the insurance picked up most of it) and my dad helped with the miscellaneous smaller bills. I have two student loans, a $15,000 that I've deferred for three years now due to being too broke to pay it back, however this is the final year they will allow an "economic hardship" deferment. I have a smaller loan ($2,100) that is demanding to be paid at approximately 40 dollars/month. When I do pay I put more than the minimum to eat at the capital, and make the interest smaller... but some months I simply can't pay period... I do have it knocked down to about $1,900 by now... considering how broke I am it's amazing I've been able to reduce it by that much. I haven't spare money laying around. I haven't even been able to see my own birthmother for about three years now. :headdesk:

Crow: I see, well the student loans work quite nicely here in the way they will never try to reclaim any of the money unless you have been earning so much a month for atleast 6 months. Even when they do start taking repayments on the loan its only at £5 a month and had very, very, very little intrest that is out along side it. Means that they are out of the way.

Like I said with you're company that wants the money out of you every month look if there is a legal miniume that they have to take from you no matter what. Hopefully that can reduced some of the costs there. I just though if I was at the place im going for an interview at later it would be my job to convince you to repay off you're loans by taking out a bigger loan from us lol. Personally i think the idea of repaying youre loans with a loan is kind of stupied but still.

Hello Meis mule sorry i missed youre entrance ^^ how are you today anyway?

Crow: I don't really know if I have any specific hate... most of the mobile/cell services here suck... there's not really any difference... I hear "3" sucks more than the others though...

Mits: Trying to find some arguments for my assignment but it seems my mind went completely blank

Lord Angle Newlife- It is not uncommon for our generation to at least consider suicide at some point, as it is on the news and such. One of the first songs/music videos that I learned to get out my 'feelings' towards was Pearl Jam's "Jeremy", in which the kid kills himself in front of the class at the end. I was six years old and telling myself "Wow, this fits me perfectly!" It is also that we come from a generation of multiple divorces and broken homes. Without the stability and support of previous generations, much more of the weight falls on us.

Mitsu-kun- Taking a loan to pay off a loan is as stupid as signing up for a new credit card to pay off your other credit card bills. My final year of high school before University we had a presenter come to our Economics class and warn us how they tempt students with free items, money for signing up fellow students, etc, and that some young people have spread out their bills then comitted suicide over the harassment. It was at that point I vowed to never get a credit card. Thankfully with my debit card I can't buy what I don't have money for. A "Debt Based Economy" _is_ going to fail eventually. Somebody once told me a disturbing statistic that in the US only one out of every 8 to 10 dollars or so are 'real', the rest is imaginary-debt-money. Once upon a time a dollar was based off an amount of real silver, as once was the British Pound (hence Pound Sterling, literally a pound of silver!)... Unfortunately with our resources getting more trashed this 'fake' economy is going to collapse all around us... so many houses being foreclosed on... including the very one I'm sitting in as I type this post. When the owner got sent to prison there was no hope of him paying and our rent right now goes to utilities and to pay off lawyers to put off the auctioning of the house. Having to pack up and move (especially when you're disabled) is a wreck... brings on much anxiety and depression and physical pain even if I get friends to do most of the work.

Mule of Mei- It's like trying to choose from the lesser of evils, isn't it?

Crow: Yes more or less it is ^^' my service is one of the least bad, but it doesn't take a lot to be that

Crow: Yeah i know what you mean it is rather stupied. I am lucky because i have a debit card and i have no overdraft so i cant ever spend more than whats in my bank account. I have only ever been over drawn once in my life and that really wasnt my fault in all honest. I know i had a bill going out of my account so i left more than enough to cover it in. Something i had paid for on my card 2 weeks before, as as far as i knew it had been paid for. Then another repayment was taken out just before it, than put me in the red by 28p.

I was basicly in the red for a day if that, since i got my student loan right afterwards. The payment was taken on a friday and my student money was paid either the Saturday or the monday after when the banking system reopened. This for that 28p my bank charged me a massive £30 in handling fees. It was a bit of a joke really compared to the amount.

sorry my posts are few and far between folks, imma half way dozing while playing snake.... gotta get the highest score

Mule of Mei- Which service is it that you have that you consider to be one of the 'least evil'?

Mitsu-kun- It is usually poor timing on my part, as was this last case. My automatic first of the month bills hit my account but due to the postal forwarding of my paycheck/paycheque, I didn't receive my money until a bit later.

Also, DO NOT GET ME STARTED on bank overdraft fees. Right when Washington Mutual (my bank) was bought out by Chase, I had overdrafted my account. I went to pay the overdraft amount, and I had sufficent money to cover it yet there was a $33 dollar fee that was keeping my account in the red! I pleaded with them to remove the fee as that was all that was keeping my account negative. I even returned to the specific branch/location, the very building where I opened my account. I had a nice go at it with the teller who was simply being by the book. Right before I snapped, I said, "I'm going to go cry over there in the corner now so you can help the next customer" as I embarassingly had an anxiety attack. A poor could-be-twelve-year-old in a a trenchcoat crying and mucusing uncontrollably for about 15 minutes. Eventually a bank manager came over to me and offered water (I asked for tissue as well)... she talked with me and explained that they could do it easily before but since being bought out the rules had change and at jeaporady to herself she was going to try to take off the charge. Turns out even the manager was unable to but at least she TRIED. I hate getting anxiety attacks in public, it is extremely embarassing as I try to hold myself with dignity and intelligence.

hm... more arguements, more arguements... DX

Crow: It's called TDC Mobile... it's a Danish mobile service

The adult world is a cruel, greedy, cold, self-serving, automated place that does not give a rat's ass about your feelings or personal circumstances. I have been learning this the difficult way over the past 3 years (Since graduating University).

Pity your recommendation isn't available to me. :headdesk:

Originally Posted by Dark Queen Erika

hm... more arguements, more arguements... DX

Originally Posted by The_Crow

The adult world is a cruel, greedy, cold, self-serving, automated place that does not give a rat's ass about your feelings or personal circumstances. I have been learning this the difficult way over the past 3 years (Since graduating University).

Pity your recommendation isn't available to me. :headdesk:

But if I don't hand in a finished assignment they will fail me and I won't be able to graduate next summer, and I don't wanna stay in that school forever DX

I actually fared very well and was quite sucessful in a school environment. Ever since I was three years old I loved school, and I feel rather lost without it. I actually miss the structure, and the rewards for doing well. I have literally countless trophies, certificates, plaques, medals, etc for my academic achievements.

Originally Posted by Dark Queen Erika

But if I don't hand in a finished assignment they will fail me and I won't be able to graduate next summer, and I don't wanna stay in that school forever DX

Crow: Yeah i hate bad timing, atleast i can say thats the only time i have owed money and it was sorted right away. I could have reclaimed the £30 maybe but i didnt see a point. It would have had to go to court and such and i couldnt be assed with that.

Hay Crow youre smart got any job interview tips i can use for later on today. I have 45 mins before i have to head out to this place. Its going to be intresting ~blush~ this is the first job interview i have had since i was 15. That was like ages ago. I have no idea how to be perpard for this lol.

Originally Posted by The_Crow

I actually fared very well and was quite sucessful in a school environment. Ever since I was three years old I loved school, and I feel rather lost without it. I actually miss the structure, and the rewards for doing well. I have literally countless trophies, certificates, plaques, medals, etc for my academic achievements.

But I still wanna move on to University... at least there's a chance I can find someone else, than stuck up pop girlz and pretty boys DX.

I mean they have an IQ of.... not a lot... in my class, they don't even know something as basic as the reason for the Danish holidays or other special occasions... DX They didn't even know why we eat duck every 10th of November >_> and with the name of the day, it's a wonder they never asked.... sometimes I am afraid that the lack of common knowledge is countagious....

Mitsu-kun- Tips, eh? Anything I could probably say would be obvious but:

+ Dress Sharp
+ Take time for 'thoughtful silence' instead of muttering 'uhm' 'uhh' or any other casual filler noises.
+ It has paid for me to be creative with my interviews. I have never said "I don't know" to a question, even if I cannot answer exactly, I think of a parallel 'cousin' situation and use that as an example.
+ During one interview they thought I 'talked too much'. It was because they never stopped me or indicated my answer was good enough. If you begin to feel lke you are going on and on 'fishing' for the answer they want to hear, perhaps you can ask them in return if that is an adequate response instead of continuing to ramble further.
+ Seem enthusiastic. Thankfully for me I have been sincerely enthusiastic about my jobs in the past, so it was not feigned for me. But perhaps something as simple as sitting on the edge of your seat and sitting up instead of leaning back and relaxing can make you appear attentive and sharp.

... was this of any use to you?

Crow, ok Thats some good advice. I have no idea what type of questions they are going to ask me so i have no idea what i can talk about. God I hate the idea of an interview, it reminds me of going on a first date with someone you have never met and have no idea what they will be like.

Anyway i should stop watching anime now. Watching anime for two hours maybe isnt the best way to perpar for something like this. Still i just wish it was over and i can get back to being normal. On a side note a got a letter for a bookies saying my application has been unsuccesful -.-' I would have rather had the bookies job than this.

I'm glad my advice was of some use to you. Perhaps listen to songs that make you feel confident as well, beforehand. Listen to the CD in your car or on your iPod on the Underground or however you are getting to the interview.

Oh, also do not be late, be early if possible. I think that is more engrained into the English people than Americans, though.

At your mention of my being "smart", I mused a bit. I have taken many online IQ tests, from ten questions to ten PAGES covering multiple sectors.

My average result is an IQ of 135 which generally translated as "Highly Gifted, the most Gifted and Above Average you can be without being a card-carrying Genius". I do believe the "Low Level Genius" mark starts at about 140. Of course, you must take into consideration these are ONLINE tests. However, it is amusing that they have pretty much ALL given me the same result.

Mei is freezing, it's freaking cold here >_>

Crow: last time i did any type of IQ test it came out about 120-ish... so not that bad but not that great either that being said however it was three years ago so i would have expected that to go up slightly in that amount of time. I just suck at job interviews since i have only ever done one. Its a mircal i have manged to get this far to be honest.

Most of the employers i apply to either dont hear back from or send me a rejection e-mail or letter. Currently this is the best i have done by a long mile. going to give it another 20 minutes or so then head out to get the bus upto this place. then have the horrors of this interview. Not really looking forward to it.

~cuddles~ Mei, aww why are you cold?

Mits: Because Denmark is having a cold weather, and our house is like a freezer DX

Mule of Mei- Space Heaters are win. I have one pointed at me right now. I am so frail, my extremities (ankles, feet, hands, nose) all turn into ice cubes even during relatively moderate weather.

Mitsu-kun- Put some confidence music on your iPod! It will help you feel better subconsciously, if not consciously. You may even find yourself looking forward to it if you are sucessful enough with this little 'brain trick'.