Okay I participated in nanowrimo (if you don't know what is is, google it) last year however, sadly, I totally and completely failed. I would like a little bit of critique on the story so I'll post the opening to it and would appreciate if you could tell me if it would interest you.
:]
Thank you.
<333


Sorry if it's a bit long but it's just the opening, setting the scene and whatnot. Tell me what you think. :D


Prologue - Funerals


"Marley Marie Stevenson... What can I say? She was a strong-willed young girl and always stood up for what she believed in. She was kind, loving, funny, quirky.... She was amazing. I remember...- I remember when she was little, must've only been seven, she turned to me and said 'Granda? If you're famous, you can make a difference in the world, right?' And I smiled at her and said 'Well, yes, I guess you can.' and she replied saying 'Then that's what I'll be when I'm older... famous.'" And to this day I still believe she could have been everything and anything she wanted to be. She always had her heart set on being an actress. She was spectacularon stage, you could tell it was where she belonged. She used to get up there and, even from the back of the theatre, you could see her eyes glisten and her smile would light up the stage. She really could have been.... She could have been anything. She died too young."

R.I.P

Marley Marie Stevenson
August 1990-December 2007.

Loving daughter, grand-daughter, friend and sister.

Forever in our hearts, life without you will be as cold as the winter you left us.



Chapter 1 - The Path to Everywhere


An old man sat at a lone old wooden brown bench reading a newspaper peacefully. The man looked about seventy years old, he had a stereotypical cap on, an old, out of fashion vest jumper and sat smoking a pipe. Around him was green grass as far as the eye could see and one tree about a metre away from where he sat. The bench was placed on a long winding brick path leading straight over the hills and into unknown territory. The sun was shining as brightly as ever and the birds were singing as happily as ever. Lying on the path, barely a few feet away from the man, lay a young girl with a porclein face and silky brown hair. She looked as if she was in a deep peaceful sleep, without a care in the world, without a problem, without a worry. The girl stirred.
"Take your time." The old man mumbled without taking his eyes off of his paper. He didn't seem at all worried or even interested as to why a girl was lying on a path in the middle of, quite literally, nowhere. "It'll take a minute or two." The girl groaned as her eyes started to flutter and she suddenly came to life. She slowly managed to raise herself up to her knees and look straight at the man.
"What happened?" She groaned, looking around her. She placed a hand on the bench to try and keep her balance.
"Oh, not much. Nothing really happens here. Never did, never will." He still did not take his eyes off of the paper.
"What are you talking about?" She squinted at him. "Where am I?" She quickly asked then suddenly her eyes widened and the colour fell from her face.
"Oh, dear, you rememberin' know, eh?" He finally looked into her eyes.
"I was in a car crash." She muttered.
"Indeed you were." The man took a long draw from his pipe and then placed his paper on the bench beside him. He placed a hand on the kneeling girls shoulder for comfort. "Your mum survived and so did the driver of the other car."
"So... So where am I?" She looked up at him totally confused.
"You don't know do yi?" He gave her a sad look. He paused for a moment trying to find the right words for the young girl before deciding to tell her what he tells everyone. "You're dead."
"What?" She suddenly jumped to her feet. Those two words obviously gave her a shock. "Dead? Dead?!?! You've gotta be joking!?" The man simply shook his head.
"Sorry." He picked up his newspaper and started reading as if telling the girl she was dead was a common occurance. The girl fell back to her knees and flopped her head in her hands. She didn't know how long she sat there: Minutes? Hours? Days?
Finally she looked up at the old man. "So am I in Heaven or what?"
"Heaven?" The man chuckled. "Don't be silly, it's not that easy."
"Purgatory?" She tried again.
"Not quite." The man shot down her idea.
"....Hell?" She was really confused now.
He laughed. "No."
"Well I can't be nowhere, can I?" She was getting frustrated at the mans lack of care. She had just died, all she wanted was even a little bit of sympathy or even some information from someone who gave a damn.
"Actually, that's exactly where you are. You are Nowhere." He kept on reading his paper. The girl stood up and looked at him.
"You. You're off your nut! You're a psycho!" She waved her arms in the air, pacing back and forward. "You're crazy! Cuckoo! Wacko! Mental! Lost your marbles! Off your rocket! A lunatic!"
"Indeed." he muttered while eternally reading.
"See? You're crazy!" She crossed her arms and stopped abruptly. She couldn't win with this man. "So are you dead too?"
"You're a smart one aren't you?" He threw a sarcastic comment at her. "Old age got to me."
"Right." She thought for a moment. "So what do we do now?"
"I? I do nothing." He kept reading. "You on the other hand, would probably want to follow the path that you're standing on."
"Where does it go." She tilted her head.
"Nowhere." He took another long draw from his pipe. The man was infuriating her.
"I thought we already where Nowhere. How will following the path to Nowhere even help?" She shouted.
"It leads you to Everywhere." He looked up at her and smiled. "Goodbye and good luck."
"Fine! I'm leaving! Don't want to talk to a psychopath like you, anyway!" She started to walk away.
"What's your name?" He called to her.
She didn't look back. "Marley! Yours?"
"I forgot mine." And Marley kept on walking.



Marley had been following the road for an eternity. Her legs where sore, her hair was a mess and her bones where aching but she kept in mind that she must be in good shape for being in a car crash and pretty much dead. Was it even really possible to be dead? What happened to all those religions? Is God about here somewhere?
Marley was getting annoyed. She had been walking forever and her surrounding were the exact same: Grass, sun and a long long long long path. The only thing that had changed was that the tree, the bench and the wretched old man were far behind her. On the other hand though the birds were keeping her from depression, their twittering tune soothed her. The only thing that weirded Marley out was the fact that every bird was small, like a robin, and totally blue. She had never seen any bird like them before. They were nice though, pretty to look at. Marley just kept on walking.
Marley was begining to lose hope. Nothing was happening, this path was. quiet literally taking her Nowhere. If she just gave in now, and fell down, would she die? Could she die twice? Would it jsut lead her back to the stupid old man? Then she a silhouette appeared on the horizon of the path. It was small but it was something. She started running.
"Hello!?" She screamed waving one arm at the silhouette. "Hello! Over here!" She was getting clsoer and the shadow was beging to take form. It was an odd looking person, small, sort of fat, weird hair, a long neck- It was a peacock.
Marley finally reached the peacock and sat down cross-legged in front of it. It looked her straight in the eye. "Brilliant. Just brilliant! I've been walking for a lifetime, surrounded by little blue birds and the first thing I come across is a big colourful bird. Amazing! Brilliant! Wonderful!" Marley wasn't amused.
"I'm not a Peacock!"
Marley looked at this bird. "Did you just.... talk?" She froze, partly from horror but from interest, as well.
"I did!" The bird's looked up at Marley, looking ever so angry at the lsot and confused girl. "And I'm a Peahen, not peacock! Female!"
"You- You can talk?" Marley was still in a state of shock.
"Didn't I just prove that?" The Peahen said. "I will, however, ignore your ignorance and stupidity and be polite. Are you lost?"
"Well, not so much as lost. I mean, you need to go where you are going, when you are lost, right?" Marley made a very interesting point that she never had really thought of until she had said it herself.
"That old man! he sent you down here, didn't he?" The Peahen exclaimed. "Well, I'll guide you. I'll take you to Everywhere, if I must."
"Really?" Marley smiled for the first time since she arrived in this awful place.
"Of course. I'm a bird of my word! Despite your rudeness, I've taken a liking to you." The Peahen almost smiled. "You can call me Hershie."
"That's a pretty name. I'm Marley. Oh! And thank you so much! I needed some guidance." She smiled at Hershie.
"Come along, come along. Chop chop, no time to lose!" And Hershie started trotting her way along the path already. Marley hopped over to her and walked beside her. Hershie was a beautfiul Peahen and was every colour ever thought of, it was beautiful.
"I don't mean to be rude but can I ask something personal?" Marley looked to Hershie.
"Can you?" Hershie sounded very much like one of Marley's high school teachers... Former high school teachers.
"Sorry. May I?" She asked.
"You may."
"Are you... Dead?" Marley flinched, thinking that Hershie was going to be offended. The Peahen chortled.
"Everyone is dead here." She kept trotting at a brisk pace.
"So were you a Peahen or a human when you were alive?" Marley questioned. She was curious as to why an animal was talking to her.
"Oh, dearie, well that's a toughie." Hershie finally didn't have an answer to one of Marleys questions. "I was a human. Or so I am told. I don't remember. My grand-daughter tells me I am human, as that is what she was. She remembers her life much better than I. She tells me that I was a lovely old lady. Human lady. I prefer being a Peahen though. my grand daughter says it suits me."
Marley was still confused. "How is that possible? To become an animal, I mean"
"How should I know?" Hearshie instantly replied. "I have a piece of advice for you. Don't ask too many questions because you will never be satisfied with the answers you get in Everywhere. It is a strange palce, with strange people and even stranger traditions. They're nice, don't get me wrong, but they are strange. You learn to live with not knowing. You'll cope."
"What do you mean 'I'll cope'?" Marley questioned. "I don't want to stay here! I want to leave. Get out. Go wherever I am supposed to go..."
"And where might that be?" Hershie stopped abruptly. "Heaven? Hell? Do they exist?" Marley didn't say a word. She didn't have the answers. "No. Didn't think so. You don't know much either so how can you possibly know this isn't where we are supposed to go? This might be where we are supposed to end up. Why are you striving for something more?"
"I-... I don't know." Marley avoided Hershies gaze.
"Then don't go meddling with things. Okay? It doesn't get you anywhere. I should know." Hershie started walking again without another word. Marley followed, a step behind.


Marley felt she had been walking with Hershie forever; It must have at least been five hours and yet the sun was still high in the sky, the birds were still twittering and the path was as long ever. Her feet weren't particularly sore as the path was relatively straight, give or take a few hills, nor was she hungry or even tired... She was just bored.
"So if you're a bird... And you can talk." She finally broke the silence between herself and Hershie. "Why can't the other birds talk? They just perpetually twitter."
"Marley," It was the first time Hershie had used Marley's name, she paused for a moment as if she was trying it out and wasn't sure if she liked it or not. "Didn't I tell you about asking too many questions? You just have to accept things for what they are."
"I guess..." Marley was not satisfied with Hershie's answer. "But doesn't that mean-"
'Shhhh!" The peahen froze. "We're just about here."
"Really? We're at Everywhere?" But before Hershie could reply Marley started running towards the hill that blocked Everywhere from her view. She didn't really know what to expect, it was one of the questions that was lingering in the back of her mind; 'What is Everywhere?'
She climbed to the top of the hill with Hershie trying to keep up and finally Marley got to the top and looked below. She was Everywhere.


A small note to make about Marley is that she was always a very curious. As a child she would always ask her Mum or Dad questions that they couldn't necessarily answer and when they finally did come up with something that they thought would satisfy her, Marley would always come up with another question to the great annoyance of her parents. Due to this, Marley became a very inquisitive, talkative and open young lady and there was rarely an event, place, person or answer which would leave Marley lost for words. However, upon seeing Everywhere, Marley didn't breathe a word...


Everywhere was a city. Or was it a town? Or even a village? It was hard to explain. When Marley looked at it, it seemed both very large and very small at the same time, somewhat like an optical illusion. The buildings were far enough apart for the whole place to look spacious but there were enough of them to make the place looked cramped. All of the buldings looked very mis-matched both in shape and size. Some building towered above the others like a giant standing amongst munchkins, others were peculiar shapes, like pyramids or spheres. Moreover, what made Everywhere so bizarre was the colour- Or the lack of it. Both the streets and buildings were totally white, like a blank canvas that hadn't been touched by a painter. The only colours came from trees, plants, whatever was inside the windows and the people she could see walking around. The streets weren't exactly crowded but they were certainly not quiest either. The only way Marley could describe Everywhere was one very big paradox. The place was bizarre.