hehehe I would be fine with half of what I have...

I'm not a looker either but something about me attracts young guys... hehehe, look at my Ex husband and his age and then look at my sweetie and his age...

I made a commitment to me though...

As long as Cliff is willing I will be with him... If he becomes unwilling it will break my heart but I will live...

Make up...

I freak some people out about it... No one ever taught me anything but I can do a persons make up and make them look like an entirely different person...

Back in 1986 when I was in my full charge bookkeeping classes... One day they had a cosmetologist come in and teach people how to do their make up in a way that is good for work..

I came in plain faced, I didn't use the ladies make up. I brought my own...

I waited to do each thing until she told us how to do it... I already did it far better than that... The make up lady was amazed because she could see that while I was listening to her instructions I was doing what ever I wanted to...

Eventually she came around to check each of us... And she used my makeup job as an example for how to do make up for work...

I know how to use eyeliner to open up my eyes. I know how to use mascara and a safety pin to open up my eyes a little bit more...

When I am doing make up for fun I use greens and they make my eyes stand up and dance...

For business and work I use browns and once in a while throw in a little purple..

When I am doing a good job... I use about 12 colors of eye shadow just blending them into each other until I get the right effect...

Someone will ask me how many colors I used and I will tell them and then the come over and really look at my eyes, if I did a hurried and lousy job they may see 3-4 colors

Under normal conditions it looks like I use 2 colors one on the eye lid and a light color just under my brow... hehehe...

Blush 4-6 colors usually... Eyeliner either green or dark brown, Mascara dark brown or light black...

Even face make up I use at least 2 or 3 colors...

You think very differently about your sweetie than I do about mine. I might be way too devastated if my guy left me... I really don't like thinking about even ^^''

Wow! That is a lot of detail with the eyes! I'm still wide-eyed at you saying 'safety pin' though O.o How do you use a safety pin to open your eyes? O.o I use white eyeliner if I can because they work better with oriental eyes ^^'' If not I would just go for the brown and draw one both my upper and lower lid, sometimes if its too heavy, I loo kind of gothic which is weird because I dress like sunshine sometimes and my eyes look morbid XD

12 colours! I only use 1 or 2 or sometimes none because I could never do a good enough blend. I usually use browns or pearl-ish colours because anything too bright makes me look like a Chinese opera singer as I am fair as hell and sometimes come out looking pale :P I just go for a look that is natural and sometimes it doesn't look like I am wearing any makeup but at least my face looks brighter.

I have bad skin so it takes me awhile to hide some of the scars on my face from all he pimples >.<''

Pa-pancake,

I have a very weird relationship right now... hehehe

June 23 will be 3 years for us. Officially he is not even my boyfriend... During the 2007 year I went around and actually called him "My Not Boyfriend." Yes to his face also...

Now I just call him my sweetie unless there are people around that he knows. Then I just Call him Cliff nothing more and nothing less...

None of my family cares, they all love him to pieces... They say I have never been happy before Cliff... (With a man in a relationship) They call him my sweetie, my boyfriend, my honey... They call him all kinds of things... hehehe...

The safety pin....

First you put on a really light coat of mascara, then you use the safety pin to separate your lashes so they aren't all clumped up... You do this three times total and each time you put on a little bit thicker layer of mascara... With your lashes separated and long with mascara it makes your eyes open up a bunch...

hehehe and yes I usually use a different kind of mascara for each of the three times... hehehe...

12 colors...

The first three are moist colors not powder... These 3 colors are pinks and browns no matter what color I am going to use to finish with... These three colors do not color the whole eye lid and under brow...

Pale pink goes from the corner of your eye closest to your nose and in a line up to your brow...

Brown goes in the crease at the upper edge of your eyelid it's self

Darker pink goes from the outer corner of your eyelid in a line up to the brow and out from the eye...

Then you wait a couple of minutes to let them dry and that is when you start using your powdered colors...

Let it dry for a couple of minutes before using your powder colors or you will have a crack line where your eye lid folds in...

When I use the brown/purple powders I come out looking natural... Some call it the clean look... hehehe...

Hehe, that sounds like a lot of work, Katty, to put on the makeup. I haven't used makeup in years, and even then I rarely used it. I have a lot of allergies to things, and even using makeup that was supposed to be non-allergen, like Almay, still irritated my eyes.

I can't wear anything perfumed, I can't use perfumed soaps or shampoos or laundry detergent. It seems like all I have to do is smell the perfume and I break out in hives. I did not develop these allergies until I was 24 and I had this really bad sinus infection, so the doctor put me on penicillin. I was on the very last day, the tenth day of penicillin, and I went shopping with a friend of mine. We tried on a new perfume in the department store, and by that evening, I was covered in hives from my head down to my toes. I don't know if it was a combination of the perfume and the antibiotic or if it was simply the perfume, or maybe it was just the antibiotic, but I am allergic to most antibiotics now as well.

I never liked heavy perfumes either...they always gave me such a headache. My absolute favorite perfume to ever use was Hawaiian White Ginger by Avon...it was a nice lightly scented perfume, but Avon stopped making it, and I only had one small bottle left when they did, but found I could not even wear it without breaking out in hives after that incident.

hehehe back when I was younger I did it every day... It took about 20 minutes...

hehehe I did things differently than most people... hehehe...

When I got home for the night I would take my shower and do my hair and my makeup for work the next morning... hehehe, then I would go to bed... hehehe...
In the morning I would jump up throw on my skirt, stockings and heels and head out the door to work... When I got to work I ran in the bathroom for 2.2 second and put on my blouse...

I didn't used to move in my sleep so I could even curl my hair and do my make up before I went to bed then get up in the morning and I was almost all ready to go... hehehe...

It really startled some people... hehehe...

Omg, Katty, that's just something else. I move too much in my sleep, and I know I rub my eyes in my sleep because if I slept with any mascara on, it was smeared so badly by morning. Like I said, though, even the non-allergen makeup, like Almay, still irritated my eyes, so it's not surprising.

Just wow the walls of text I come back to....lol I love you guys. :D

@ Pan-Pan.. I have a similar way to Kat with my make up there are many colors and it takes a bit of time, but when it is all done it looks effortless..lol
I have those hazle eyes as well though they favor a bright grey green so in a way most people say I have eyes the color of a cat..lol

@ Kat.... wow you and I could have a field day with make up. I don't use a safty pin though I have a spare maskera brush that is only used to brush out the extra maskera and make my lashes separate.. it is a spider lash brush.. and I use paint brushed to do my eye shadow and everything else.. I am way to artsy I view putting on my makeup like I do a blank canvas for painting..lol

@ Fizi.. ahh I adore the hiku sent by avon.. though it is harder to vome by now and I am almost out of my last small bottle. :)

My quest thread is all updated and prettified now if you guys want to check it out. :)

hehehe back in those days I knew and used every short cut in the book...

Back in those days I weighed a sloppy 128 lbs and only had 38DD's then...

I was beautiful back in those days.. I never had any trouble finding a date... I literally had to chase men away from me...

I still do, lots of guys online want me for some reason..

There is this one guy who refuses to understand that I am not interested... I get at least one new email from him every day...

He wants me to forgive him and give him a chance... Color, age, and location aren't going to slow our love down and all kinds of junk like that...

Every day he tells me how great our relationship is going to be when I just quit being dumb and start loving him...

I told him look I am not interested in a relationship of any kind with you. You are not the man that I am looking for. You have no appeal to me at all. I don't yet know if he has it figured out this time... I doubt it though... This guy would be a stalker if he lived in the USA...

Wow that is crazy... Kat has an almost stalker. >.< And yeah I miss being thin... but I am okay with the wight because it is what is left from my three boys. :) So It was so worth it I take my boys over being thin anyday. :)

Okay I think I am alowed to do this for Kat.. I haven't posted here in way over 8 hours... so if this is not okay please deleat the post and let me know so I don't do it again. >.<

Hey Kat how was your day love?

The relationship is definitely unique. I have never really seem a relationship like that before. Probably on television but not in real life. It seems like everyone knows that you are together but just that he wants to keep it low profile trying to be macho? ^^''

It sounds amazingly hard to do honestly. I think putting a safety pin anywhere near my eyes sounds dangerous. I don't think I would be able to do that since the mascara wand in my hands is already dangerous enough! O.O I have short lashes so its hard to bring them out XD Come to think about it, I do not own a tube of mascara at all and only one eyeliner for now ^^'' I have to go shopping to get me some new makeup soon!

Oh, you use the moist ones? I only have the powdered kind and its kind of expensive for me to buy the moist ones since I have no job. And your technique sounds like it really is a lot of work. I really would not have the patience with that but maybe when I do go for job interviews and to work, I would try that!

Ivvy:But I am sure it took a lot of effort right? And hearing that you all have natural coloured eyes makes me a teensy bit jealous ^^'' We have to use coloured contacts to get that effect.

And I'll drop by your quest thread today to check on it!

Thank you both very much for trying to keep my thread on the first page... It helps, I hope... hehehe

About my sweetie,

It is not the way I want it. I would much rather be his acknowledged girlfriend but he is so afraid of getting hurt again he won't go there.

Officially he has had one girlfriend. She hurt him bad. He has had one girl/lover... Now he has me...

Yes you are reading correctly Pa_pancake...

I am totally head over heals in love with this man.

Three years ago when we first started seeing each other we agreed to be friends only.

He is American Indian and he lives on a reservation. They are so prejudiced out there that him going out with a white woman makes people think he is a turncoat or something... They will talk him down and junk like that...

Then there is our age difference... There is a huge difference between us in age with me being the older person...

The thing is, it has been almost 3 years. (June 23rd will be 3 years) Everyone in his family has met me for one reason or another except his Mom and Stepdad... (All of his relatives that live around here, I mean.)

When they see us together we don't act like we are anything but friends... The thing is it has been 3 years now and people aren't stupid... He is not now nor ever was a touching person... He is a hand holding person, he isn't the type that will pat you on his way by at a party... No kissing in public.

The thing is he isn't just my friend... He just bought me a $6000 truck, that isn't something you do for your friends. He bought this trailer that I live in for $1000. You don't do that for just a friend. He paid for 1/2 of my car and it is a pretty nice car.. (that cost him $1500)

He bought me a new bed when I still lived in my house... He had it shipped over from the east coast. It has a 20 year warranty on it. He paid to have it delivered to my door... It is a Tempura pedic... Their cheap beds are on $2000. You don't do something like this for just a friend.

He paid $1000 so my Granddaughter and I could fly up to Alaska and say good bye to my sister before she died... You don't do something like this for just a friend.

Our first Christmas he gave me a generator so I would be able to save my food and keep warm if we had another 38 hour power outage... It was a used generator but well maintained... It works like a dream... You don't do something like this for just a friend.

Oct 07 he took a week off of work to come and take care of me while I recovered from 5 different procedures in one operation with 2 different Dr's. I mean he took care of me, I wasn't allowed to do anything...

Sep 08 He took 2 days off to take care of my for another surgery...

Aug 08 he took two days off from work to take care of me while I had a colonoscopy.

8 weeks ago he took two days off of work to take me to the dentist that is an hour and a half away so that he could drive me home because I didn't think I was going to be ok driving for an hour and a half after having 6 teeth pulled... Using pain medication because it was a lot of trauma having that many teeth pulled... All with zilocaine I didn't get knocked out like a lot of people do...

You tell me Pa_pancake, is he just my friend?

Makeup:

Well honey you put the first thin coat of mascara on, you set the wand down then you pick up the safety pin to separate your lashes...

The first layer is just a nice based mascara... The second layer of mascara you use a kind that is for making your lashes look longer... The third layer of mascara you use a mascara to make your lashes thicker looking...

I have a fairly large nose... once I have my face make up/foundation one then I grab an eye shadow brush and brown eye shadow... I make thin light lines down my nose right where it starts to curve down from being the top of my nose to being the side of my nose... I make thin light lights down my face just barely under my cheek bones... And again under my chin because it is so fat...

Oh yes I do that same thing with a pale white, cream, or pearl color under and around my eyes where any shadow may be seen... (This is powdered eye shadow)

The next step is face powder and blush... First I use a liquid /creme kind of blush... Let it dry for a couple of minutes and then start with the 3 colors of powder...

After that I use face powder and gently pat around any place on my face that looks like it has shadows...

Then you look up into a mirror and your face is all light. and bright. and beautiful with all of the flaws covered and or hidden...

Ivvy,

I really like my quest thread but I really like your set up for your thread... It is pretty cool... It seems more like an Alice in wonderland kind of thing but that way that you did it just looks really good together...

Lol Alice in Wonderland always creeps into my stuff.. its because I love it so much..lol Its unavoidable.. So I just run with it.. like I said if you think of anything you might want on yours just let me know I actually need to send you a couple of images I got just for you..lol >.<

Katty,

About Cliff:
Ah, I really didn't mean for it to sound like I was misunderstanding it in a bad way really. I know you guys have a great relationship and he really does sound like a man who cares for you a great deal. The one thing that makes me happy to hear that he is treating you great is that he even cares for the members of your family. He sounds like a very nice man who cares for your wellbeing, your happiness, your family. Generally, he sounds like a dream come true really! Men like these are very hard to come by and if you can hold on to him, you hold on to him! I do not understand how people around are racist though about him being an American Indian. I know racism still exists but really some people are just too much. So what if he is of a different race... It kind of sounds like the old ages. I feel like as long as two people are happy and love each other, they really should just be together.

What i meant by different is that it is just a relationship that I have never really seen before ^^'' There are relationships like these I know but I have never met anyone who practices it in real life :) I'm sorry if I have offended you in any way.

About makeup:

Haha, I don't really own a bottle of mascara so i'll really have to go buy one and try it out ^^'' Or 3 kinds? O.o

Well, I am fair and my skin is rather sensitive to heavy makeup and I kind of have a lot of pimple on my face and some scars >.<'' So my process is first the moisturizer which prevents pimples as well which i use a tonne of to just slab it all across the face especially the cheek area where i break out a lot. Then I mix some of my face powder with liquid foundation to make sure that the shade matches my skin and I just concentrate with this on my cheeks again and under my eyes, if my hair does not cover my forehead, I would just put some there too. Then its just blusher which I have to use a more brownish red shade because pink sticks out like mad on my skin making me look like a chinese opera singer... Just above my cheekbones because I can hardly see my cheekbones :P and I add colourless gloss to my lips and line my eyes with a brown pencil. No eyeshadow nowadays since my boyfriend says I look fine without it and I trust his judgment. He said that after I dyed my hair, I need less makeup because he said the colour made my eyes look bigger O.o

Ivvy: Alice in Wonderland? O.o Well, um I like the avantgarde fashions they create with Alice in wonderland? haha... Random I know but I like these creepy mysterious things :P

I don't think I am able to top Katty's long post O.o I can imagine if they didn't cap our gold at 20G perpost, she might have just earned 100G from that post alone!

Pa_prawn sweetie,

In no way was I offended by your remarks... questions or comments. I did want to tell you about him though... He is nice and he is strange... hehehe all at the same time...

Prejudiced, it is the people out on the rez that are American Indian that are against white folk... hehehe

What not one of them understands because I am glow in the dark white... hehehe... Well I am 1/16 American Indian. I am Oglala Sioux.. From the Black Hills area... hehehe...

I really do wish that he would ask me to be his girlfriend but I just don't think it is going to happen... The other weekend I had a "pipedream" that he was going to ask me that weekend... I know better and need to quit thinking about it...

The last time he talked to me was early Friday evening... He has been on-line but hasn't even said hi...

I have a feeling that what we have is on the way out... I think that he is starting to like someone elsewhere...

If so it is going to be hard for me, really hard for me... I do love him...

Oh Katty, I hope that you are wrong. I mean, it was only what, a week ago that he popped up unexpectedly and spent a lot of adult time with you. It is odd, however, that he hasn't spoken to you since, and I just wonder if it isn't because he's realized just how attached he has become to you and it's scaring him, and he's probably taking some time to think about what he wants from the relationship or something along those lines. I hope, anyways.

Of course, you know him better than any of us, so who knows. He may just surprise you. You know, also, he may start to stray elsewhere in an attempt to prove to himself he does not really care about you as much as he does, but he may end up just proving the opposite, lol. I say just give him the space he needs and he'll come around, hun. ;)

*Huggles and squishes and luffles on*

Ahh Kat.. I agree with Fizi.. I hope you are wrong! And that he comes around.. Branny was having an issue like this last night and things worked out and everything is better than it was before.. I hope the same for you.

Oh that's cool about Branny, Ivvy. I didn't know he was having an issue like this, but I knew he was feeling down lately. I'm glad things worked out for him! :)

I'm glad that you took the time to reply to me. The post was definitely took a great deal of effort to write out. No man is perfect so everyone has flaws. But him being strange could make him a little more endearing?

So its a two-way prejudiced thing? We still have racism here but I wished people would be more open minded to this. My own grandfather is pretty racist when it comes to marrying someone outside oriental blood. He thinks it would tarnish our blood line ^^'' And he's one that we have to follow really. It really hurts not to be acknowledged by our grandfather. It happened when my cousin, his favourite grand daughter married a Malay man...

I, like Fiz and Ivvy do hope that you are wrong believing that. Whatever you had typed before has given me hints that he is someone truly special and cares a whole lot for you and its vice versa in your feelings for him. I feel that he may just have trouble expressing himself and shows his love for you in a different way. Maybe you should try to say 'hi' to him instead whenever he is online? It might show your sincerity of wanting to stay together?

-Helps thred along-
Hello there :)

@katty
I'm jumping on the bandwagon with the other girls. I hope with all of of my heart that your fears that Cliff is slipping away, are unfounded.
-huggles you tightly-

Pa_pancake honey,

I love him. I have for a long time now. No man has ever treated me as well as he treats me.

But he is a man and just like all men have man issues, times, and or days... This is very true...

Never worry about me being offended when you ask me a question...

I am very open, honest, and upfront! I don't care what other people think of me... I only care what my family and friends think. You are my friend and I like you!

If there is something that you want to know you have only to ask me... I will answer you as straight forwardly as I can.

The prejudice thing in this area is only from American Indians to whites. But then there is also the age thing between him and I. I am not sure if you missed that or not from the other post.


He finally said something to me last night it had been between 48 and 50 hours since I had heard a word from him.

He told me that he wasn't giving me a normal payment this week because of the wedding trip and 2 days in a hotel next weekend.

Normally every one of his pay days he does a $100 bank to bank transfer to my bank account.

Another case of him treating me like a queen...

The post was not an effort to write out at all it was mostly a post to you so that you could/would understand what I am talking about...

Both Fizi and Tiger have known me for a long time and so they know of Cliff but you know almost nothing and Ivvy knows a little more but almost nothing so your question/comments helped her to understand also.

Most of the time if he doesn't say hello in about 8 hours I talk to him...

This time I did it different because of what he said about the 2 girls and helping them and teaching them how to play his game... It was the way he said it that got my "Hackles up."

He said it in a way that wasn't the normal way he usually talks about other girls. Mostly I am not a jealous person but once in a while when you hear something different in their voices...

Fizi,

hehehe space is what I am giving him by waiting until he is ready to talk to me.

Ivvy,

Stuff like this comes up every once in a while between him and I. It is because of the no formal commitment of any kind. (Tiger, Fizzi what about 3 times a year? hehehe)

It does cause me to feel insecure occasionally... When I feel unsecured with him that is when I have this kinds of troubles..

I have been cheated on by every man that I have ever had a relationship with. The thing is I don't think Cliff is going to cheat on me... so why do I have these insecurity issues???

I believe that Cliff will tell me that he wants to move on before he is "with" another woman...

Tiger,

Thank you sweetie, I love you too! (Well that is what I heard you saying... hehehe!) I hope that my fears are unfounded also!

I wonder if anyone in the world knows that you really can fall in love via the internet... hehehe

I have fallen in love with several special friends here online through my game sites... I do mean special, and I do mean that I care, about all of you!!!

Twilight Star,

Thank you for the help. You are welcome to come and chat with us if you desire. It is nice to meet you, my name is Kat, Kath, Kathy, or Katty...

We do have a nice quiet ladies chat here late at night and fairly often...

You do feel better now Pa_pancake, right? The reason I told you so much is because you asked and you needed to have the background info before the rest of it would make a lot of sense...

But don't ever be afraid to ask me something that you would like to know the answer to.... I will try my best to give you a simple and true explanation.

Smiles and Hugs to all of my special friends!

-huggles katty-
Of course I love you and care about you, my dearest of friends.

Alright -makes self comfortable-
G'd evening Katty XD

Katty: Thank you again for answering my questions. And no, I didn't miss the age thing in your last post. I know society has a negative view on things like that and yeah, it can get to some couples. I'm not really sure where I myself stand on it either. I know I would never practice it but I do not look down on people who do. I'm a very closed minded dater for myself but pretty open minded if other people practice what I do not. The age thing was not what got me worked up actually which is why I didn't mention it, racism on the other hand is something I really hate with a passion =.=''

I am actually really glad that he already spoke to you. its good that you are finally able to hear from him. I do hope however, that you are wrong and he is still very much in love with you and cares for you. But whatever it is, I believe you are a very strong woman and you can definitely work things out and stand on your own two feet!

I may have pried deeper than I should whilst talking about your relationship and I do sincerely apologize for such behaviour. Really... even if you said, I don't have to be sorry, I think I do. I have a curious nature and sometimes it goes out of control ^^''

And here's to big huggles for everyone in this thread :)