View Poll Results: Do You Like My Poem?
It's Amazing! 1 33.33%
It's ok, but I have some suggestions... 1 33.33%
I don't really like it. 1 33.33%
You could do better. 0 0%
Voters: 3. You may not vote on this poll

 
 
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ghostPastry
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#1
Old 04-23-2009, 06:53 AM

“I got so used to it.”
“What?”
“You.”

---

I became addicted to your warmth,
The feeling of your heartbeat,
The sound of your voice.

---

I don’t believe you have a heart anymore,
And the thought scares me,
But at the same time, it doesn’t surprise me.

Not one bit.

---

“I thought we were made for each other.”
“Don’t be silly,” you replied coldly.
“Happily ever-after only happens in fairy tales.”
“Couldn’t I be a fairy tale princess?” I asked, hopefully.
“Sure. You could be the little mermaid.”
“But... she never gets the prince.”
“I know.”

---

And you walked away
Leaving me to believe I could never find the sun,
Not through all the clouds.

And I was one of the clouds.

So, if anyone has any critiques, comments, etc., please post them! Thank you! :D

Last edited by Melody; 04-23-2009 at 11:39 AM.. Reason: double post

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#2
Old 04-23-2009, 11:40 AM

I've merged your posts. Poetry is a slow-ish forum, so it may be a while before you get any feedback on your poem, but so long as it's on the first page, you should get a response. (:

It's interesting, I don't really get the last bit though. *shot*

ghostPastry
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#3
Old 04-24-2009, 12:12 AM

Thank you ^_^
I didn't mean to double post :sweat:

Well, the end basically meant that she was the one standing in the way of it being a good relationship. That she was the problem.
Sort of a... metaphor, I guess, for my low self esteem.

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#4
Old 04-25-2009, 04:05 AM

I don't really get them. Are they free verse by the way cause I can't seem to find the rhyming scheme. :?

ghostPastry
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#5
Old 04-25-2009, 04:47 AM

Yeah, it's free verse. All of my poetry is that way. Sorry you don't like it...

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#6
Old 04-25-2009, 08:39 PM

It's a pretty good poem. ^^
Although I'm not normally one to like free verse, this one is okay.
However, it's sort of sad. T^T
Poor peoples.
Kidalanna does like it, though.
Good work~ :3

ghostPastry
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#7
Old 04-25-2009, 08:43 PM

^_^
Thank you!
My poetry will do that... Be sad, that is.
I try to write happier poetry, though xD
It's weird that it's so hard for me, too, because I have a great boyfriend right now. Haha.

 


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