Shallow. So guys, I want to know your definitions of the word 'shallow'. There are definitely people out there that put up one person though it isn't who they are at all. That, I understand, but it really depends on you yourself right?

Personally, I think shallow is more about someone who tells you something and does something totally different.

I'm in highschool, and honestly I don't believe that I'll be with the same guy from highschool all my life. It could happen, but what are the chances of that, right? Every guy that I have gone out with...after seeing what their personalities are like to the people they 'love', I was offset, it was a major pet peeve to me. My first boyfriend flung out the words 'I love you' like they were nothing and obselete. I broke up with him after I found out he tried to cheat on me...yeah, so smart to try and cheat on me with one of my closest friends, right? That relationship lasted less than a month. My second, and most recent, I broke up with him because his attitude about life and everything around really bugged me. How he took his studies to account, how he really didn't care, and how he was so close and so bummed and so awkward after the relationship started. He was more awkward when we were together than we were before. So I break it with him about one month into it. Bummed. Sure. I guess he would be bummed? He said, "I'm bummed, but I suppose it's because we have nothing in common." I've stated before I revised this post that I don't take relationships on things people have in common. Differences are probably what make a relationship the best compared to similarities. Though, I wouldn't base my relationship on that at all. A relationship is about comfort, trust, and happiness.

Onto another problem, there are people that have been labeled 'shallow' when they go through too many guys in a certain amount of time. xD Now, once again, I get it, this is highschool and I shouldn't be worried too much. Though being worried is what is part of the fun. Or at least that's what I think. So it's either worry about this or just worry about studies. I think I'll choose both.

Thanks guys for all the replies though, here's some updates.

(Again, this information will be repeatitive. Also, I know more about B than I do J. As I've known B longer and he's my age.)
Guy 1 will now be called J and guy 2 is B.
J is somewhat dramatic with a funny, but odd sense of humor. Sometimes, he doesn't speak to me at all, but when he does, he speaks to me all day. He's a year older than I am, and is always asking me questions about my last boyfriend. He always moves seats to sit next to me, but he usually just moves to any empty seat in the room anyhow.

B is nicer than J. -chuckle- I've been taking more interest in him lately. It hasn't been too long since he broke up with his girlfriend though. A few weeks after I broke up with my boyfriend, I find out he broke up with his girlfriend. At that point, we spoke a lot, and sat next to each other in class. He's hilarious and always understanding. Sometimes, he actually likes touching me. Like, small intimate touches, but touches. He'll come to sit with me sometimes, and he'll even tell me to move over so we can share a seat. Though, he usually does that with other guys. Sometimes I catch him looking in my general direction, then he'll look away. There's another girl that sits in my general direction also, so I don't know...but he never speaks to her. Games. They seem like games the more I think about it. For instance, he would call my name, but there's also a girl in my class with the same name, and he would smile when we both look over.
He's also somewhat cryptic, being a writer and a perfectionist. Love, the way I think might contradict his. Although his basic belief IS happiness, he also believes that a relationship is built because one friend is trying to better another friend. This affection goes to a point where you'll sacrifice yourself to make them better. It is until you find affection stronger than that that you move on. Or, one feels inferior or superior to their partner. Sometimes though, I feel so left in the dust...

I think I'm more inclined to B. I now talk to J like it's no problem in the world, like he's just another friend. It's harder for be the think when I talk to B, but it's alright. The small intimate touches have gotten a bit more constant.

Edit: I really think that I'm starting to fall for B. But, J seems to be interacting with me and dropping subtle hints. Speaking to me first, flirting, and even saying that he might be curious about my relationship history because he's interested. I think he's too late.

You're definitely not shallow in my book. As for the boy situation, that is a bit trickier. Go with your gut on this one, it never steers you wrong. Even if it's just a little bit, you should be more attracted to one of them and that is your best choice. Take as much time as you want, there's no hurry to confess to whomever you decide on.

Ummm....i have a question. If you like more than one guy at a time are you a whore. i have not even kissed a guy yet but i feel bad for liking like ten different guys v.v i am 16.

@Nissa: Thank you for your reply :D There is one that I seem to have more attraction to one of them. Though...he's more cryptic about feelings. When he thinks of relationships he can go into a whole monologue about them, one that seems to be an outlook that people just use each other to benefit themselves. If that's not the case, they get into relationships to better the other person.

@KH4Life: Ah man, that makes me feel so bad. xD It doesn't make you a whore. A whore is someone who does sexual things with every one of them. Honestly, don't worry, boys do things like that all the time also. Since it's proven that guys and girls both feel the same things and generally react to the same things(not in the same ways), it's only natural. Now if you were having sex with all of them that would be another problem.

@ Phantom Pocky - I'm not sure how any of this is supposed to come off as shallow. Really, it just seems like high school as usual. You meet a lot of people, you have a bunch of little crushes (some more intense than others), and you usually end up somewhere on the social food chain, only to ultimately realize that none of it matters all that much in the long run.

"Guy Two" sounds like a better all-around pick to me, but his view on relationships obviously differs from yours, so you might not want to let yourself get too attached. But really, it's you're life. You're probably not going to end up with a boy from high school in the end, just enjoy the ride.

@ KH4Life - Liking lots of boys and having crushes on multiple people is normal in adolescence. There's no point beating yourself up over it, pretty much everyone else feels the same way at that age.

"Whore" is not a label girls should be projecting on each other, in my opinion. The number of people you choose to be with is your business and nobody else's.

Haha, so true about not ending up with one of these guys later in life. Guy two does seem like more of a better pick. He's smarter and funnier, but there's also the more laid back nature of guy one. If I'm going to enjoy highschool, I'd like to have times that I can look back and smile on. I think a relationship that only lasts a month might be a bit short?

As for being shallow. I guess it's just what people label other people. What do you think in shallow Doomfishy? I mean there's the connotation of if nowadays that people seem to take as just indecisiveness.

A person who is shallow is most likely an attention-seeker, but when you get into a conversation with such a person, you find there's just not a lot of depth there. The things they desire are entirely superficial - they want to look the best and have all the best things, but not for their practical purpose; they just want to be envied and desired.

Now, everyone wants to be desired and loved - those aren't bad feelings. But when that's all you have - you don't have any deeper desire for self-actualization, or to perfect a trade, or help others (in other words, you really have no passion other than popularity) - that would be a trait I would consider "shallow."

All that said, I think a lot of "shallow" people are hiding behind feelings of inadequacy or severe familial/peer pressure. There's a reason people turn out the way they do.

I see what you mean now. Just looking around the school, or society even we all see a desire by other people to "fit in" with others. Someone who doesn't really have basis to their personalities. From what I see then, being "shallow" has it's own levels. There are groups of people who are popular, but those seem to be only the ones that hang and cling to an original theory. For instance, at this time, at highschool I noticed that the popular ones normally keep to themselves and only step out of their world when they need something from others. Is it that kind of popularity that you're talking about? Because these groups always walk in the same circles to the same places. Normally, like you said, for the things that will further classify them into a category of popularity(i.e. clothes).

There have also been times that I would be talking to a friend, and someone would be classified as shallow if they constantly contradict themselves in order to change their words to fit that of what someone else would say. Like, a girl is in love with a guy. The girl suddenly wants to break up with him only because her friends disapprove because he's a tennis geek. They haven't even met him. The same girl also wants to break a friendship with her "best friend" because her other friends keep asking her if she's lesbian because her "best friend" has that type of skin-ship with her and is comfortable with it.

You seem to be getting great advice thus far, so you probably don't need much from me. I just want to say it sounds more like it was your friends who got you and your ex together more than you two wanted to be together. Let me guess, "you looked so cute together"? I rest my case.

About the current two guys, just don't get your hopes up on either or. You may or may not end up with one, or even both, of them. I can tell you right now, guy number 1 (the one who's the same age as you) sounds like a good friend and if anything I'd aim towards that instead of trying to jump his bones just because you think because you get along you'll make great boyfriend/girlfriends. If someone else told you that he liked you, don't trust that. Gossip is gossip and you shouldn't base any kind of overall opinion of an unknown matter on it.

Guy number two sounds like he's got a great case of A.D.D. :lol: personally, I'd avoid any kind of emotional attachment to him. You know what else ADD stands for? Another Dating Disaster. He's probably really funny, so don't cut him out completely. Maybe if you know him when you're older you and some friends plus him could have some intense adventures in the middle of the night at some park or in some neighborhood or whatever.

Anyway, my biggest advice that you're totally not going to follow: Don't Date Anyone In Your School (when in highschool or below)! Why? It always ends sooner rather than later, and it always ends in drama or at least leads to drama very shortly after. And I mean ALWAYS. I can almost guarantee you won't be the exception. You said you gossip? That makes it almost 100% likely to happen. But hey, drama adds flavor to boring highschool, so knock your socks off.

=) good luck.

Oh wow, a not so optimistic reply xD That's refreshing. Anyway, both guys are older than I am. Guy 2 is actually my grade level. Guy 1 is a year older than I am. Though it doesn't really matter now does it. :D Anyhow, my sister's relationship with her boyfriend has continued for more than half a year, which as a commitment in highschool is very very long. It just made me wonder how I never ended up getting even close to that.

Relationships with others is what highschool is about, lol. It adds drama and interest.

I think I'll edit up my post for some more advice :3

Duuude, friend. You gotta calm down. Not like he's going anywhere. I think B is a better choice...but since I hear he likes someone else, ehhh. Not that I came to your house to use your computer and chastise you here.
Ummm...B is more organized, smarter, and he's cute. J is cute too though. ;D They're both funny, but B is more logical. J cusses too much, and doesn't know what he's saying. The way he writes is amazing. But knowing you, you're scared, huh? Everyone is, but you have issues.

B also touches you a lot, especially your hair or your sides. He always lingers. I wonder about him sometimes. The other girl, most likely not her? If you hear that he likes someone else, it most likely isn't her, you still have a chance?

You can't trust guys after guy one huh? The one that cheated on you is an ass. I don't like people who cheat. Guy two is also an ass for not seeing how insecure you were with him and instead passing it off as a "no common ground" type thing.

What do you guys think now? I've edited some of the information. I've given you a bit of my love-life history through the years. I started dating a couple of years ago, so I don't have that much.

I know this is highschool, and I shouldn't be worried too much since it is. But this is now, and that's why I'm worried. :3 Thanks for all your replies so far guys.

Everyone is right - you're not shallow. If anything, my definition of 'shallow' clearly doesn't match up with yours.

And you broke up with your previous boyfriends for good reasons: One was moving too fast and then attempted to cheat; the other just made you feel really bummed out on how he carries himself and everything else around him. Just don't be too hard on yourself - you're not a shallow person just because you've gone through a lot of guys. A shallow person (from how I see it), only dates another individual just because of their looks and other traits that anyone would want to benefit from (wealth, popularity, etc). Shallow people merely use others for their own benefits - they are stuck up and self-centered, and I do believe you are far from it.

As for your boy problem - I'd pursue a relationship with Boy B. From your post alone, it's pretty clear that you have stronger feelings for him than Boy J. You've know B longer and seem to interact with him more. With J though, it sounds like you two are merely just friends.

@pinkii: I like to believe that I broke up with both for very good reasons as well. If anything, the simplest one was the fact that I didn't feel happy. No longer did I feel, safe and trusted. Or at least, I felt that I couldn't tell him all that I should have, for he didn't tell me all that he should have either.

I think I will test the waters a bit with B. Thanks for the advice!

Well, shallow isn't saying something and doing something different. They're being contradictory or hypocritical. I have found thus far that many guys tend to be contradictory or hypocritical. My fiance will say that he agrees with one thing and then ten minutes later or even less time later, he'll say that he agrees with the complete opposite of what he said he believed in the first place.

Being shallow is when someone judges someone strictly on looks, their social status, or their material posessions instead of on their personality. I know a lot of guys can be shallow and only date girls for their looks tough.

You've gotten enough advice so I'm just going to wish you the best of luck because I think everyone deserves a shot of happiness. Life can be a bit too somber so we all deserve every opportunity at joy. :3

Good luck!