All right so I suppose you could say my boyfriend and I have made a few stupid moves. I know quite a few of you will probably say I shouldn't be doing anything if I didn't bother to think about the consequences - but trust me I did. My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time at the beginning of the month. I have no regrets about it and I love him dearly however the thing that bothers me now is we didn't actually use a real source of protection. We've had sex several times since then, each time using the "pull out method," now I'm worried about the chance of pregnancy as we do both come from families with high fertility rates.

Help? =o

The pull out method is not a method to avoid pregnancy... Precum does contain small amounts of sperm as well so is not the best method to use at all. If you can't get on the pill at least use a condoms, they're easy to get at any drug/convenience store.

So there might be a high chance of being pregnant for you... if not I'd say you're lucky... Are you late on your period at all?

I'm not quite sure yet, as my period is a bit weird. Like sometimes I get it at the end of the month, and other times it'll be in the middle, or very beginning. It actually came on the 23rd last month but I'm waiting to see if shows up soon....

One of the unlucky ones for periods then. (I'm the same mostly) It's only the 23rd today so hopefully you'll get it by the end of the month.

Have you decided what you're going to do if you are pregnant?

Well my boyfriend and I are actually discussing it at this very moment. We would keep it, and if worse comes to worse, though I'd rather avoid it adoption is an option. The main issue at first would be telling my parents, (I'm only sixteen and will be seventeen in a few weeks, he'll be eighteen in October...) as I don't think his family would care too much. But at the same time I have no idea what I would do exactly and would probably figure it out after I found out for cetain. >.<

Ah, yeah parents will be an issue. Do you think they'll take it alright (to the best ability a parent can take to learning such a thing)?

I honestly have no idea. I mean, I can guarantee my biological father and step-father would both be pissed, and I have no idea how they'd react exactly. As for my mother, it could be anything she could either lose her temper about it (which is a rare thing anyway) or take it relatively well. I think if worse comes to worst, I'd probably tell her first and I was having an actual talk with her about it.

It's always the male figure that gets pissed, rather stereotypical but it's true. I hope they won't react too badly, since I'm certain you're already stressing over it enough and you don't know for sure yet. When knowing so and not knowing exactly what to do I'd imagine the stress would be worse. Hopefully your mom won't react badly and act as a 'soothing' factor.

Tell her first and hopefully after a long talk help you tell your father and step father and sort of clear the air.

It sounds like you've got what you would do if you were pregnant figured out so I'll focus on my advice if it turns out that you aren't pregnant.

Is it at all possible for you to get on birth control pills/have a birth control shot? You should talk to your mom about it, it doesn't sound like she'd be too unreasonable. I know it's awkward to talk about, but not as awkward as having to explain that you are pregnant because you wanted to have sex but were too embarrassed to use proper methods of birth control.

Another good advantage to birth control pills is that they regulate your period. Mine was all over the place too until I started taking the pill. Now I know when I'm supposed to get it and don't have to stress so much about whether or not I'm late.

The more methods of prevention, the better. Two that I use besides the pill are condoms (if your boyfriend really cares about your feelings, he will understand if the chance of pregnancy scared you and you want to use one) and not having sex on days 12-16 of the 28 day cycle (though you have to be on the pill to use that one unless you have regular periods).

I hope that I'm not coming across as too preachy or bossy, but I've seen some women and girls have babies when they really weren't ready and it can be really hard on both the parent and the child.

I would say get on some sort of birth control then. Planned Parenthood and such will give you the protection you're looking for, for free in most cases.

Does your state/country have the morning after pill?
I'm not saying it is a great thing, but having a baby at such a young age will alter all of your plans for the future. You can Google Planned Parenthood for more information on this pill.

Thanks everyone. Thankfully you're all much nicer than half the people who replied to my thread on Gaia. But anyway, we've actually decided not to do anything else until we're older whether I am or now, as it really isn't worth the risk. Originally I had planned to wait for marriage in any case.

And originally, after we had it the first time, we did decide we would until either I could get on the pill or he could get condoms but I guess that clearly didn't work out to well. >.< I thought about the morning after pill but until I tell my parents I have literally no way I could obtain it, and I'm pretty sure it would actually be ineffective by now. (It's been a week or so since the last time...)

Don't want to scare you here, but have you considered the fact that if you are pregnant and have to tell your parents, then your boyfriend is highly likely to end up being arrested for statutory rape.

If it's been a week since the last time you had sex then go get a pregnancy test! don't sit around waiting for your period to appear, and while you're buying the test, get some condoms!

I'm not being nasty here, but if you feel you're adult enough to be having sex, then you have to prove that responsibility by being mature enough to use contraception.

Yeah, if it's been a week the morning after pill isn't going to do any good. You're supposed to take it asap, but 48 hours is the max I think.

I'm glad you've figured out what you're going to do afterward. If the no sex thing ends up not working out again (I know it can be really tempting in the heat of the moment), it's better to acknowledge that you will probably end up having sex again and stock up on condoms and get on birth control just in case. Again, I only mean if you end up having sex again.

Edit: She's 16 and he's 17, I don't think he'll be arrested. In Illinois anyway, the law says over 18, not 17. Also, I think they give a bit of leeway when it's something like 17 and 18 or 17 and 19 (but I'm not 100% positive about that).

A pregnancy test is a good idea though. Is there any way you can get to a store? (If you and your boyfriend don't drive, maybe a friend?) Most dollar stores around here have them (though sometimes they keep them behind the counter).

Using the "withdrawal method" is much better than nothing at all, but it still puts you at a considerable risk. On average, a woman who uses the withdrawal method will have an 18.4% change of becoming pregnant within a year. Still, since you KNOW that you are both particularly fertile, you should recognize that you're playing a much riskier game!

If you want my opinion, here's what you should do:

1) Acquire condoms (many family planning offices will carry them for free, but you may need to buy them) and keep them with you or in a drawer/container near your bed (or wherever you typically have sex). Make sure you know how to use them properly, and INSIST that he use one every time. INSIST that he put on a new one if it slips or breaks. You are well within your rights to insist that he take your reproductive safety seriously!

2) Find a way to get to a Planned Parenthood or other family planning facility so you can discuss your contraceptive options. If used correctly and consistently, condoms are very effective at preventing pregnancy, but what happens when you run out unexpectedly? What if they break? Most other forms of contraception interfere with sex less and are more effective at preventing pregnancy, so they're definitely something every woman should look into.

EDIT: By the way, you can take the morning-after pill (also known as Plan B or Emergency Contraception) up to five days after sex. Here's some more information.

To add to Doomy's post, plan B is available over the counter in the States (yes, without a prescription). Most pharmacy's will carry it, although I am not sure about Walmart. They are all kinds of preachy about "family planning" but will sell guns to anyone. Gotta love it. You can also call and talk to a pharmacist for ideas on what you should do/can do...and you should probably invest in a pregnancy test at this point, as you don't have a reliable period to go by anyway.

@ Daria - That's true, but it's only available over-the-counter to adults 18 or over. The FDA's announced plans to approve it for 17-year-olds, but it won't technically be available to them OTC until an official request is submitted by the pharmaceutical company.

Gossip Girl's only 16, so unfortunately she'll have to get a prescription.

Hmm, I wonder if her guy can get it for her, he is over 18....

Yep, he'll be able to buy it when he turns 18.

I definitely recommend shopping around for it - Planned Parenthood or another family planning facility will probably charge the least. I've heard that Planned Parenthood operates on a sliding scale for income (meaning that if you've got a low income or no income at all, you pay very little).

At my campus clinic (where I go for my regular birth control and emergency contraception), it costs $25. I've heard of people being charged as much as $50-60 elsewhere.

If you can get a hold of it for a good price, I recommend "stocking up." Buy a few doses. It lasts up to four years from the date of manufacture, so you can keep it around just in case. Just make sure you always check the expiration date before using it.

I was charged an arm and a leg the one time I went to get Plan B at Planned Parenthood. I don't know if they give discounts to some people, but they never asked me any questions that seemed like they would determine whether I should get a discount or not. I think it was around $80. It was worth it to me at the time though.

Edit: Also, taking Plan B made me extremely sick to my stomach. It definitely should only be used as it's name implies...as a backup plan. It's not fun to pay for or take.

@ Juniper - Really? That sucks. o.o;; I would be mad as hell if I were charged that much for something I desperately needed like that!

When I took it, I didn't have any side effects at all, but I know that nausea is a common one.