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Shtona
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#1
Old 07-29-2009, 03:07 AM

This is really just a writing exercise I put myself through. Multiple views of a single event. Enjoy:

The Sniper

One peek and you're floored. Shot in the head, a perfect circle appears out of nowhere, a small stream of blood rolling out of it. You don't feel anything at first. In the next second your heart is beating faster and faster, pounding in the chest you can't really feel. You're lungs choke tight, every breath you take like sucking gravel down your throat. Then you fall back, riding on the air around you until your lifeless body slams into the blood-spattered ground behind you. You don't feel it soak into your clothes. You don't see your friend's eyes widen as they finally realize what's happened. You don't see the smoke drift out of that hole in your forehead, lazily drifting up on the wind only it can feel. You simply lay lifeless, a pool of your own blood creating a dark red halo around your head.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


It all happened in just a few seconds. He just looked over the wall and before we even heard the shot, a small hole had appeared in his forehead. That's how sudden it was. A .50 calibur round, fired from 1500 meters, traveling faster than the speed of sound. Just like lightning. You see it before you hear it. I watched his body fall, the very last charges firing in what was left of his brain. The ground behind him was painted with his blood and chunks of brain and bone. And that is what he fell onto. His own weapon, thrown off as his arms flailed and slackened. The thud of his body is a sound I will never forget as long as i live. It was the sound of a book hitting the ground. Of a box that slipped out of your hands. Not a body. My brain just couldn't mix the two together. A lifeless sound with a living sight. We kept still and quiet. It was what we were trained to do.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The flash of a blond hair and the pull of a trigger. That's all that it was for me. When I look back on it I can only imagine what that action meant to the others that were with him. One of their friends falling lifeless to the ground. The only sign of what had killed him being a smoking hole in his forehead. The chance for revenge: none. The ability to move: none. The ability to mourn: none. All of the actions they wanted to carry out for that man I shot were stifled by their training. I imagine it must've driven them mad. I remember waiting for a few seconds. Wondering if any of his comrades would be dumb enough to expose themselves out of anger. Then I moved. Slowly and quietly. Almost as if I hadn't just ended a persons life. Almost as if nothing had happened at all.

ThyFaerieQueen
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#2
Old 07-29-2009, 11:25 PM

Tona, wow! That is amazing. Can I be stupid and ask if it's in a war? It seems like it is...

It's just amazing. Great detail and similies.

5 Stars!!

Shtona
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#3
Old 07-30-2009, 12:24 AM

Thank you ^_^ I usually just get a 'nice job.' haha

Yes, I had it based in Vietnam in my head, but I guess it could be any war really. At least any war in the past 70 years...

Red Panda
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#4
Old 07-30-2009, 09:42 PM

That was the most amazing thing i ever read!!

Shtona
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#5
Old 07-30-2009, 09:49 PM

Thanks! ^_^ I doubt it was really the MOST amazing, but I appreciate the compliment :)

Goblin Maiden
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#6
Old 07-31-2009, 03:03 AM

Oooh. I like it. The imagery is really good. =D

Shtona
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#7
Old 07-31-2009, 11:04 PM

Thanks ^_^ Since everyone seems to like it I may consider expanding on it then...

ThyFaerieQueen
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#8
Old 08-02-2009, 10:37 PM

I really think you could be able to expand on it. That could be like a prolouge for it. It's really good anyways.

 


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