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Codette
The One and Only

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#1
Old 08-07-2009, 07:27 PM

I was wondering if anyone could give me constructive criticism?

One Last Word

Hold me tight before you go;

I hide the tears I’ll never show;

Whether we’re lovers or not;

Together we’ll breeze through life’s lot;

Guide me through the murky sea;

You carry a copy of my key;

My heart will cry and call;

Please catch me if I fall;

Even if you don’t love me;

In my heart forever you’ll be.





Library of Memories

Enticing whispers,

Forgotten books,

Crumpled letters,

Guilty looks.

Look around,

Depression hits,

Diaries gone,

Crying fits.

Pictures hanging,

Faces fade,

Colours blend,

Canvas frayed.

Old lovers,

New friends,

Lost ones,

Never ends.

Love-notes here,

Burned there,

Try remembering,

Don’t care.

Torn pages,

Scattered round,

Cobwebs hanging,

No sound.

Shattered dreams,

Grasping hooks,

Enticing whispers,

Forgotten books.



Toy Store

I look in a crowd, no dolls I see there

Humans look around, we return their stare

We're porcelain girls in masquerade

Tired of being left out on parade.

We wish for little girls, who'll dress us up

Take us out, have parties with tea cups

Show us off, with laughs and smiles

Without the threat of toils and trials.

Dresses of lace, satin, and embroidery fair

Compliment our most angelic hair

Pink tint lips and rosy cheeks

From rigid eyes no tears shall leak.

A little girl shyly walks by

Quiet and still we all lie

She smiles and picks up a girl

And gives her hair a little curl.

Freed she waves a silent goodbye

A sign of hope for those on shelf up high

But now she has a new focus in mind

A little girl and her fate are intertwined.

Codette
The One and Only

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767.32
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#2
Old 09-29-2009, 05:01 AM

I wrote this today in class... Kind of a scribble, but I actually like it. Kind of a poem/song thingy... Criticism please!

Beside me

Devil's on my back,
God's laughing off his ass,
The Angels are shuffling cards,
Demons placing bets,
Look at my hand,
I can't win
But I'm not going anywhere

As long as your here beside me
Your hands on my shoulder
Your light surrounds me
I feel so warm inside
You save me
When hope is lost
You stand by me

Angels float by lazily,
Demons pretending to care,
Try to get into my head
I just need to know that you're there,
In my corner
On my side
Give me hope
Be my guide

I stand here,
Open to the world,
My soul in my eyes,
My heart on my sleeve,
I've lost my mind
But you found it again
You found it again
You found me again.


Codette
The One and Only

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767.32
Codette is offline
 
#3
Old 09-29-2009, 01:56 PM

Woke up this morning and this was in my head.. Must write...type, it down..

Untitled (for now)

Paint splattered clothes
Wind ruffled hair
I'm not much
to look at baby
but your still here.

We stand in the rain
With slicked back hair
A kiss under the stars
The secrets we share.

I'm with you
You're with me
We have eachother
thats all we need
One more dance
One more song
One more kiss
before nights gone.

Who can imagine
What tomorrow will bring
Soft skies of blue
Or lightning that rings.

Whatever happens
I just know
We'll be there
to make it though.

 


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