I'm sorry to ask for help again from all you kind Menewshans out there, but you guys helped me with my mom issue and I'd like some more advice.
Please and thank you!

The problem is, I'm jealous(?) of my boyfriend, like when he wins a tennis match or even just get into the school's Science Bowl team. I'll cheer him on and root for him, and offer support, but sometimes I feel a sense of bitterness(?). It might not be bitterness, but I have a little dark spot in my heart when I cheer.

Whenever he succeeds in something, I can't feel happy for him from the bottom of my heart.

I feel...a little bit a bitterness, something along the lines off "how come he did it? I want to do that too". I get feelings of inferiority, because he did something so cool, and I haven't done anything. I also sometimes feel like I should prove myself to him in some way, but I don't know if I want to do it so I can feel that I match up, or maybe I do it because I want to feel like I'm better than him.

The second part isn't true, because I have a whole list of my accomplishments.

Which confuses me even more. It's not like I'm a failure, so why do I feel bitterness from his successes?

I'm not sure if I'm the sort that likes to see others fail, or hurt, because I think of myself as someone who's NOT like that, but now I'm not so sure.

I really, truly want to be happy for him, because he's always been there to cheer for me and I know he's on my team all the way. He's never teased me or rubbed his accomplishements into my face. I want to be able to cheer as loudly as he does for me and with a big, true smile from my heart.

This bitterness/jealousy is making me feel like crap and a bad girlfriend. I don't even know WHY i feel this way.

Please help me sort out my feelings and prevent it, and thank you for your time.

As long as you manage to contain your jealousy, I think you'll be fine. Remember to treat him fairly. He's not the source of your bitterness, something inside you is. He wouldn't be with you if he thought you were unworthy, and you should remember that too.

Maybe you can persuade yourself to be genuinely happy for him, at some point? He deserves as much as your boyfriend.. Good luck.

Unless he boasts about his accomplishments and teases you that you haven't then he's probably never thought about him doing better than you. I bet you can do loads of things he can't, you should see those as your accomplishments. Seeing other people doing something good and thinking that you want to do that shows that you have big expectations of yourself. Don't see his accomplishments as your faults. You are a different person and you don't need to be able to do everything. Having your own things makes you, you.

Everybody feels that sting from time to time, and him being your friend only makes it harder - because if you didn't hide these feelings, you would be able to let them out once, and they would be probably gone. All too human, so don't worry about being a bad person because of it. ;)

From my experiences so far it will vanish after a while, especially when you can make your heart realise one thing: he's your boyfriend, you don't have to be jealous since he already is a part of you. In a way you can be terribly proud of everything he does, for the two of you are a unit and his success is your success just as much as he in turn can be proud of everything you are good at. ;)

You guys all have really valid points.
>w<

I guess what I"m looking for is an alternate way to view his accomplishments, instead of my selfish "he beat me! D:" type thing.

I feel a bit better about it now.
>w<

"We beat all the others!" ;)

It's natural and human to be jealous of others and their accomplishments. You are lucky to have a boyfriend that is successful! Think of how you would feel if your boyfriend did nothing, failed at everything and didn't have a care for doing good.

@Luna: Now that you put it that way, I have the coolest boyfriend int he world.
xD

@Nalah: Hahaha, THAT'S RIGHT>
8D

well, i'm not sure i really understand either. you want to cheer him on, but you giving him attention is making you hurt.... just try to keep it to yourself. if you end up showing him that you're jealous, then he'll wonder why and keep asking questions. but if you cant answer them.... thats a different story.

Hmm... jealousy and bitterness...

Is it possible you want to succeed at things WITH him? Sounds that way based on what I read, as you wanted what he achieved, so maybe that's why? Sometimes jealousy isn't always wanting to take it from someone else, sometimes it's wanting to share it with them...

I think if you talk to him about it and tell him honestly how you feel once you've figured this out by how you describe him he should be able to understand.

I dunno if it's been resolved yet, but hope I help a bit =)

Thanks guys, for all the help.

I've decided that unless my feelings go really extreme, I won't say anything and think of his successes as my own.
;D

Ahaha.
Thankks guys! >w<