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Gary Stargazer
Kitsune of Lust
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#1
Old 08-28-2009, 11:19 AM

I want to share my prologue to my newest story I am writing. I wish i could share more of my stories with you but i only write Erotica and That would get me B& for posting that! XD

Anyhoo this is the opening to my newest story. This is a prologue. It's the full prologue. After this the story begins in the past and will work itself to this point and beyond.

A few things to note before you start critiquing it. This is a ROUGH draft. It has not been edited its just the pre editing scratch. So PLEASE do not start combing it for typos and run on's etc....

Also this is my first attempt at creating a story with combat and battle drama within it. So this is a new field for me to step into. most of my erotica is sappy romantic or just raunchy. I've never attempted to drive one with a combat theme.

Anyhoo enough ranting. ....





The wind howled madly as the sweltering summer sun bore down its heat upon two women standing on a roof top high above the city. A large portion of the side of the roof smashed away leaving a gaping hole that lead to a fifteen story drop to the hot pavement of the city street.

“I never thought I would see you again Angela, and I certainly never thought you would entertain me this well …” The blonde haired woman spoke to the other across the roof top. A large sword swung over her shoulder several feet longer than herself and as wide as the wielder. Her clothing cut in several places, from precision jabs and slashes, her collar lightly stained with blood and the front of her shirt slashed open to reveal the top of her curved breasts with a thin wound raked across the top of them. Blood trickling between her full mounds and staining what was left of her blouse blood red. She swung the hulking behemoth of a sword around to point at the red headed woman across the roof, the tip of the sword digging into the concrete of the roof before lifting off the ground and pointing at its target. “However this entertainment can only last for so long … we both know you can’t keep up with me… You couldn’t then … and you won’t now …” She said it with a malicious smirk while holding the huge sword with one hand.

The woman known as Angela defiantly held her two rapiers. The wind howled as her long red hair whipped about in the gale. A large cut swathed through her dress, a long red line trailing from her knee upwards to her hip where the slash had cut through both her dress and the side of her panties. There were slight lines of blood running down the wound onto her lower leg as she stood there.

Slowly she brought one of the razor sharp blades upwards, pointing it back at the woman standing on the opposite side of the roof. Her own eyes filled with a resolved glare as the other sword lay at her side grasped in her left hand. The heel of her foot lifted slightly from the ground as she sprang forward on her toes, within a blink of an eye she was on top of the blonde woman, both swords jabbing in a flurry of stabs moving faster than seemed possible.

With equal speed and agility the other woman deflected and dodged each blindingly fast attack, wielding the massive sword as quickly and agile as if it were a small dagger. “Too slow!! You’re too fucking slow!!” She yelled it out as she stepped back momentarily and seeing her opening she swung the gigantic sword in a wide arc. With only enough time to deflect, the green eyed woman held her swords in front of her, crossing them as the huge slab of steel connected with her parry. The weight of the sword and the strength of the wielder all but evident as the blow sent her flying backwards like a bird in a hurricane.

Tumbling backwards from the attack Angela planted a hand onto the roof, propelling herself upwards with a push of her hand, her body sprang into the air then landed gracefully on the rooftop, her heels mere inches from the large gaping hole leading straight down to the hot pavement of the street. She looked up at the woman before her, the monster of a sword returned to its position from before, a sadistic look on her face as she glared at the redhead.

Both women stood there in silence for several moments as the heat from the midday sun bore down on them, they stood several paces apart as each pointed their weapons at one another. Finally the woman with the large sword made her move, charging forward to close the gap. Her eyes filled with hate and rage as she dragged her sword behind her against the roof, the weight of it digging into the concrete as sparks flew off its blade. She swung the sword forward with lightening speed while screaming. “I will send you to hell Angela!!”


A loud tweet sound rang through the air as the coach removed a whistle from her lips. “Alright Angela you’re up!”

“Yes Ma’am!” The young red headed girl jumped off the ground, grasping the bar above her as she began to swing on it. Building momentum she propelled herself to the next bar that was a bit higher. Flipping fully around the bar and releasing, twirling in the air before grasping it again and swinging back to the lower bar.

The gymnastics coach watched her student’s performance along with the rest of the group. After several seconds she blew the whistle and Angela gave a final swing, propelling herself forward as she released the bar and landed on her feet on the mat in front of the coach. “Your timing is still a bit off but you are improving well, work on your landing a little too. That’s enough for today though.” The coach ordered the next girl up as Angela sighed gently and wiped her brow before walking away from the rest of the group towards the locker room.

Angela is a young woman in her sophomore year of college. Having finished high school she was granted a scholarship at her current university for her excellent gymnastics skills. Her grades however are average at best. Her coach wants her to train hard and try out for the Olympics in three years but Angela never seems very worried about it and just goes at her own pace day by day.

“The coach always bitches about something … ugh … but I guess it’s her job to … at least she somewhat complimented me today.” The young red head grumbled under her breath as she walked into the locker room. Opening her locker she pulled out a towel and set it on the bench in front of her.


Aaaand i dont dare put more than that up. >:3
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Warning! Lewd perverted fox detected!

Last edited by Gary Stargazer; 09-10-2009 at 09:17 AM..

AishaLeigh
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#2
Old 09-02-2009, 04:13 AM

hehe really glad i get to read the full version of this story. :)

Gary Stargazer
Kitsune of Lust
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#3
Old 09-10-2009, 09:18 AM

Ok i added the final prologue to it. added a bit more tension and conflict. Touched up some typos as well. I would love to post more of the story since the first few chapters are done but yea ... I would die XD
Anyhoo i posted up to what i could get away with so the story starts but thats as far as i can go without really stomping all over the PG-13 content rule. :3

 


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