This is going to sound really bad until you read it all.

Ok. So I went to this party last night, and a bunch of my guy friends were drinking. All was fun (Note: all my ex's and my current boyfriend were there). Then around midnight, I sat on a bed between my bf and one of my ex's to watch some guys play mario. Well both of them snuggled up to me. Me and my ex had a great heart to heart talk about everything that happened. People were having fun, everything was good. A little while later me and my bf where snuggling and the hostess was trying to get a lot of people to spend the night. I said no, since my brother was picking me up. Well my bf started to ask me why I never sleep over, he would love nothing more then to wake up and see me. And I told him it's because I respect/fear my mom, and she would rather me be home at curfew. I'm slighting empathetic, so I could feel his dissapointment instantly, so I became slightly depressed.
Thats when I got picked up.
Then going back to me and my ex, he said a few things he probably wouldn't sober, and it made me realize how much I miss him, even though 1. he dumped me (twice), and 2. I love my bf. And now I feel completely horrid for having these feelings and feeling like I let my bf down.
And I just, I just feel so alone, and so.. I don't know.

I really hate myself right now. I just... I just need someone to tell me that it's normal, that I'm not a terrible person.. maybe give some useful advice.... Please, someone...anyone.....

It's normal and you're not a terrible person. Having feelings for and second thoughts with people you've previously been in a relationship with is completely normal. But it's up to you to decide whether or not those feelings and thoughts are worth pursuing. Based on what you said if you're looking for a good relationship, he isn't worth it. He dumped you twice and whatever it was he said, he was drunk when he said it. It's normal to have thoughts about what could of been, or should of been. But nothing good will come from dwelling on the past. If what you have right now is good, then it's worth it to stick with your boyfriend and keep it good, after all that's what you really want, right?

If your boyfriend loves you, he should understand you don't want to upset your mom. Though I can see why he would like to spend more time with you and around you, he should be able to understand that you don't want to cause problems with your mom. If you want to make him happy, try setting up a date or coming back the next day, do some fun things together and go out somewhere. I'm sure he'll enjoy that as much as seeing you in the morning.

Hope somethin I said helped a little. Good luck!

You are normal.
I would advise to keep up with your current boyfriend. You ex dumped you for 2 times? There will be a third time, believe me.
And don't blame yourself that you don't sleep with yout current bf. He should understand how you are feeling about your mother, and if you both are thinking about taking your relationship seriuosly, than waiting for a few years until you'll be able to live together is not that hard =3 What does that little time mean in front of all life?

Really - don't worry. You look a very nice person to me and nice people should blame themselves when they've done nothing wrong X3

Terrible person? Hell no. Judging by what I read, you took the situation under great control. If he's being all whiney and other crap like that, just slap him. He honestly isn't worth it hun, stay with your current boyfriend and hope it turns out much better then your last relationship. You've done absolutely nothing wrong! Stop feeling sorry for him and how your relationship was, and enjoy the man you have now.

Thanks all of you. After a good nights sleep I feel a lot better. I guess my emotions were just all jumbled and messed up. But thanks, it means a lot that people actually give a damn ^.^ *hugs* for all!

@ Rysuko* We often do that. Unless he has to work the next morning. I spend most of my free time with him.

You are not terrible. It is kinda like when you are single and you like a bunch of different guys at the same time and they all have different charactaristics (sp?). You are not a bad person for having conflicting feelings. It is very normal to have "flashbacks" of goodtimes you have spent with other people and miss them. But just think of all the times you have yet to experiance coming to you in the future!

Once you like date someone seriously, you can't help but still have feelings for them. If you love someone once you never stop loving them unless you start hating them. I think maybe those feelings just seem to disappear but they don't completely, and sometimes they can resurface.

You don't sound terrible at all. I think its normal, really. Plus, your ex broke up with you, not the other way around, so you might have some feelings that are still left over from that. Don't feel bad, it's okay!

As for your boyfriend wanting you to sleep over, just continue turning him down. Don't force yourself do to anything cause you love him. Wait till your actually ready, don't rush anything, and make sure you keep your boundaries, or he'll keep expecting you to break them. If he loves you, he'll wait. That's the truth.