It sounds like you do love and want to be with your boyfriend, but it also sounds like you want to explore this new side of you that you've found. In my opinion, it's better to come clean before they find out or years later when it's too late to tell them. But I don't think I'm the kind of person who could get over something like that....I could never let go of that guilt. You say that you're starting to forget those guys, but are you really? You need to make sure that something like this never happens again or that if this is something you want, you no longer betray your boyfriend by doing these things. You need to make sure that, if you don't want to tell him, you can get over this and let go of all the guilt, etc. Sorry I don't have better advice :(

You could either tell, live with it or break up with him.

I'm just going to come out and say this. You say you have a honest relationship. But you have to think about it. If you are able to keep this to yourself, there's a possibly that he could do the same thing too. I'm not saying all relationships or people are like that or that the secrets are even about cheating.

I wouldn't go as far as calling you a slut either. Guys go around having sex. I don't see the problem with girls doing the same as long as you are safe. You are allowed to explore, experiment, have fun, etc. (when single, otherwise you'll have to speak to your boyfriend about an open relationship or not be in one)

Honestly, my first initial thought when I began reading? "Slut." I've just had so many bad experiences with friends starting to do this, and because I haven't been in the situation myself, I just can't really understand it. And no matter how good of friends they were, I've lost respect for them because it's like they've completely lost control.

Upon reading more, and seeing your guilt about the situation, I don't think the word "slut" anymore. Sluts in my mind (though I suppose not always) are people who sleep with whoever they want, without thinking of the consequences, and who later don't give a damn about the consequences. You, certainly, seem to give a damn. So don't call yourself one, and don't let anyone else call you one either.

If you feel this guilty, you need to come clean. For one, anyone saying "he cheated on you, so who cares?" forgets one thing: you said he told you. He came clean about it. I think, considering how hard that would be if I were in that situation, and how rarely I've heard of guys actually doing that, it earns the poor guy the same thing in return. If he gets pissed off, if you guys break up, okay, that sucks, but you won't feel guilty anymore. You won't feel as restrained, and you'll be able to explore where this is taking you without being held down. Hopefully, it doesn't lead to that, but I honestly think you should come clean about it.

Think about it. You're tearing yourself up feeling like crap because even though in the moment you might not care, afterward you do. You're on an online site telling complete strangers because the guilt is bugging you that much, that you don't know what to do. And possibly you don't feel like you can talk to anyone else about it because who cares if strangers judge you, but people you know? Yikes.

All I can say is, the truth almost always comes out, and if your boyfriend is in the same town as you, it'll likely come out to him sooner than later. It would be better if he heard it from you, than someone else. From what you've said, you've been doing better lately, but I still think he needs to know. Not because it's "right" or anything, though I think it is - but because seriously, every time your boyfriend tells you something that he might have been afraid to tell you, or every time he does something nice for you, I honestly think you'll look back on the things you've done and feel guilty. It will never go away until you come clean, or until you break up. Not unless you've just completely thrown out your conscience and said "screw it". Maybe you've done a LOT more than kissing, and maybe your boyfriend will get pissy about it, but the way you're going, I think it would only get worse if you don't tell him now. If he gets mad but stays with you, you're in a more open relationship now and that could be to your advantage.

If you truly don't feel like telling him, and you're too afraid to? Break up with him. Experiment, then, all you want. But personally, even if he confessed over a much smaller issue, it was still a bit hard to do I'm sure and he did it. So I really think he deserves the truth, or deserves to move on.

I think you have self-control problems.
Perhaps you should spend more time with your boyfriend, or avoid situations where you know you'll be placing yourself in a tempting position.

Originally Posted by Fuulie

I think you have self-control problems.
Perhaps you should spend more time with your boyfriend, or avoid situations where you know you'll be placing yourself in a tempting position.

Like being alone with guys that aren't your boyfriend in the first place. Kinda sucky, because being alone with them doesn't mean you'll suddenly get the urge to jump them, but if the opportunity isn't there...

And you could always try seeing your boyfriend more like Fuulie said, and releasing those urges with him instead. I'm sure he wouldn't argue or complain x3

I had a similar problem only I did it with another girl. The guilt ate at me so bad that night that I actually called my boyfriend (at the time a little over 2 years) and told him what happened. At first he was really disappointed with me and didn't trust me but I was able to gain his trust back and we're still going strong at a little under five years now (will be exactly five years next month). I just hope he doesn't freak out or go ballistic on you.

Originally Posted by HarukosHellkitten

I had a similar problem only I did it with another girl. The guilt ate at me so bad that night that I actually called my boyfriend (at the time a little over 2 years) and told him what happened. At first he was really disappointed with me and didn't trust me but I was able to gain his trust back and we're still going strong at a little under five years now (will be exactly five years next month). I just hope he doesn't freak out or go ballistic on you.

Congrats on 5 years! =3

That is what I anticipate my boyfriend's reaction to be. The trust-o-meter will read zero and it'll be uncomfortable for a while. But if I show him that I really care about him and want to be with him, that this "whore phase" of mine has past, maybe we can build the trust back up. I've been with him for two years now and I think that says something about my fidelity. Even though I had some fuck ups [no pun intended]. :sarcasm:

Thank you. :D

Well I was able to regain his trust and we worked things out. And it turned out it was the fact that I was with the other girl without him being there ( that's why he said it was ok as long as he's THERE to watch). And now we've talked about me moving out of my mom's house and me living with him and finding a girl that I could "play with" as our whole relationship dynamics are M/s so he basically wants to find me either a sister slave or a switch playmate (who will be Dominate towards me but submissive to him). And the reason he wants to do that is so that I can finally be happy being bisexual and him with the fact that I won't do it with another female without his prior permission and such.

Hang on in there as I'm sure your man will come around just like my Owner :D It just takes time.