I cannot put into words how horrible life has been lately. There are so many things going wrong, I feel like I'm going to explode.

-My fiance and I are seperated for a year while he goes to college, and because of the lack of phone where he lives we get to have contact maybe once or twice every month.

-My great grandma is in the hospital, dying. There's no way to save her, so it's only a matter of time. Every day I have to mentally and emotionally prepare myself for the phonecall letting me know she's passed.

-A good friend of mine who is also my best friend's boyfriend has been admitted into the hospital because a burn on his arm turned black again.

-I just started college, and I don't have any friends nearby, so I spend all day locked inside my house.

-I'm forced to live with my grandmother, who raised me as a child. When I was young she physically and emotionally abused me, and now every day I have to endure her emotional abuse because I have nowhere else I can stay while I'm attending college, and even if I did move out I'd feel guilty.

-One of my dearest and closest friends is returning to an abusive relationship, and I don't know how to help him.

-Three of my friends have begun to dabble into things that are incredibly dangerous unless you actually know what you're doing, and now I have to keep them from killing themselves. >>

-I miss them all. My close friends, my family, even my pets. Having a new dog has done a little to help, but the fact that the dog isn't potty trained kinda only helps me wig out.

-My car is a piece of crap and keeps dying on me. Every time I get out on the highway I'm convinced it's going to sputter out right then and there.

-I've begun to get a lot of dizziness and chest pain/tenderness, as well as intense headaches and occasional muscle soreness all over. I don't want to go to the doctor, however, because that costs money, and my grandma will gladly buy me useless things like webcams and clothes, but when it comes to doctor visits or gas money she wants me to work for it because she "can't afford it."

-My diet consists of 90% coffee, 5% water and 5% food, because I can't stand my own weight.

Sorry for whining, and thanks for listening. x.o I just kind of felt like I needed to get this off my chest. It's been eating away at me like...some sort of metaphor I don't want to bother making right now.

Is there ANYTHING you can think of to help me relieve the stress in this situation?

Wow where to start?

I think we can all relate to a time where we felt overwhelmed by the amount of things going wrong in our lives...feeling like there's little room to claw our way out. It can feel absolutely daunting if you sit and stir in it. I'm willing to bet a lot of your medical complaints are down to the stress caused by so much going on in your life.

You said you're going to college, right? I would inquire with them if they have a nurse or any medical services to offer. I know my University did have certain things to help, including a nurse on campus which I don't think had any additional fees. Failing that, you might be eligible for medicaid and/or local help for going to the doctor. Before I was married I went to a clinic who did scale down the cost of doctor's visits to $15 a pop. All I had to do was bring in my W-2 forms to them to prove my income and they based it on their sliding based fee.

I even found a website to find your closest one (If you live in the US):
http://findahealthcenter.hrsa.gov/

If you're not working, and your grandmother is uninsured, I'm sure they will take your situation into consideration and explain to your grandmother you're doing what you can with what resources there are available for people in your circumstances. I think finding a doctor to help you find help for your stress/medical problems should be one of your first priorities.

Also, if your grandmother is stressing about prescription costs, don't fret just yet! There are, once again, other places to seek help and even certain drug companies will send you direct your medication for either a heavily discounted fee or free. (They get tax write offs. I got my antidepressants for free from the manufacturer. I went direct to their website and downloaded the 'Patient Assist' forms and sent them off. That saved me over $200 a month!) You may or may not need to use them, but what's a good starting point (once your dr prescribes you something) is to plug it into this website (http://www.yourrxcard.com/) and see where the cheapest pharmacy would be for you. They also have a card you can download which will apparently get you a further discount on certain medications which you could do. Your doctor might know if certain local pharmacies have special plans too. For example I know my Meijer will give a lot of prescription antibiotics for free - you can pick up a list at their pharmacy. Walmart also has it's own little program where you can get a list of some of their discounted prescriptions and costs. You also should talk to your doctor about possible generic brands too if you're looking to find an easier alternative to getting affordable drugs. The main thing is to not write it off until you exhausted all possible avenues! If there's a will, there's a way!

Anyways, not to bog you down with too much info...I think the best advice I can give is to hang in there. Make a list of things that are going right, make goals for things you want to achieve....but be realistic! You could start by making a list of things you want to achieve today, or this week, and work on them little by little. They won't solve all your outside problems (and some are unfortunately out of your hands) but it will help you mentally prepare yourself and keep yourself on track and stay positive. A big trick to finding happiness is how you percieve life, you know?

As far as your 'friends' go...There isn't much you can do for them if they choose to make bad decisions in their life. It's called free will and if they decided to go down that path, unfortunately the only thing you can do is be there as support if they need it. I wouldn't let their choices bring you down though. I mean if you really are concerned, I would discuss your feelings with them and let them know that you think what they're doing is wrong...Then leave it to that. Definitely do not let them talk you into doing what you think is wrong. (Peer pressure...Bad!)

I would definitely recommend sitting it out at your grandma's though. I know alot of people might come and say well move out. And yah it might seem a viable option, but it does come with its consequences. I'd strongly suggest burying your head in your books, get school done and your diploma and then once you've gotten a job and are more financially secure start looking for your own place. If you have a roof over your head, and you're not at any risk of loosing it I wouldn't take it for granted. Once you move out it becomes much harder to get school done. My mom told me that, and I just shrugged and thought whatever and did what I wanted to do. If there's anything I want to kick myself for it's that!

I could go through all your problems one by one, but I seriously think alot of it is perspective and the way you're bogging yourself down with every negative thing going on right now.

Try starting by tackling each problem at a time and not all at once, problems like this can take time to fix, so try to calm down and see if you can figure out any way to solve these problems. By talking about your problems it can help vent your frustration and stress. Have you tried talking to your grandma about how stressed she is making you feel? Living on basically coffee can't be good for you either and will probably be making you feel worse, I suggest you try living on a healthy way of eating, drinks lots of water and eat food high in nutrients and vitamins and so on.
Sorry if this doesn't help but i find talking about my problems helps me:)

Things sound really hard for you right now. And sounds like it has been that way for a long time. I had a bad childhood and no friends growing up. My Father was in the military and we never lived in one place longer than two years. My parents fought all the time. But you know what. Though it came later in life almost all my dreams did come true. And going through all the bad times has really made the good times great. The old saying that the fire tempers the steel is a favorite of mine. I found that everything I went through made me what I am. Dont give up. Better things are in store for you. Im sorry about your friends. You cant do much more for them than be there. And believe it or not that is the most important thing you can do for them. You sound like a good person. Just dont give up. I feel something great is in store for you.

I really appreciate all the help you all gave me. I'm feeling a little better, thank god, and I'm hoping that I stay that way. My grandma's gone for 5 days and I have the house to myself, and I made my first absences in college for a little "me time" to clear my head and try to focus. I still have the headaches and haven't gone to a doctor, but if they persist a day or two father I'm inclined to go have it checked out due to the irregularity of the pain. (So your help may actually be used, Izumi, don't worry!)

Things are still rough, but I've been forcing myself to get out and socialize rather than sit in the dark and wish I were out socializing. It's helping a lot. Well, that and the giant bowl of pudding. Treating myself every once in a while is nice.

I'm really just hoping this lasts.

the diet you have could explain your medical problems. i'm sorry about everything that's going on!

I agree with Jovie, try to lay off caffiene a little bit and see if that helps with the chest pains.

I've had to be admitted to a hospital for chest pains so I understand its a combination of factors including stress. I read your other post and everything...

You fiance' is giving you stress too, not to mention. He needs to calm down. LOL