Solved.

I'm not going to say break up, because obviously thats not what you want.
My advice, ask him how much you mean to him. If he responds with a material value, (I'd slap him but...), then ask him why you're not treated with more respect since your not one of his 'toys'. If he responds with a sentimental value, then ask him why he's so hesitant to get you the ring. I personally wouldn't have asked for the ring in the first place, but since you already have, it's a matter of just asking him. Stop dropping hints, or making it seem like you really want it. Tell him how much it would mean to you. Explain to him the sentimental side (also wouldn't hurt to say that 'it would finally stop those boys from trying to ask me out'. Nothing gets a guy motivated like competition! ^.^) but it's your choice to make.

Hope things work out!

Solved.

I think that Syraannabelle hit the nail on the head, so it sounds like you're off to a good solution with this. :yes:

I would just advise that you don't spring this conversation on him. A day or two before you know you'll get together (or even just an hour beforehand), tell him that you want to talk. Let him know that you have some serious things you'd like to discuss with him about your relationship.

This will give him a little time to sit and think over you two as a couple. He may even come up with some of his own concerns about you. And this may help prevent him from becoming defensive. If you just start popping the questions, he's very likely to shut down, get mad, or just not have enough time to put his genuine feelings into words.

Well, I may sound kind of jerky for saying this (not my intention) but I kind of don't see the point of a promise ring. I kind of am not sure I know what it's even for, I think I saw someone mention it somewhere once and isn't it like some kind of pre engagement ring or something? I think it's really not that important to have something like that. I mean there's already engagement rings and wedding rings and just adding another ring to all that seems a bit too much to me, and for some reason it seems kind of superficial. That's just my opinion though, I realize you seem to place a lot of importance on this. It could be possible that your boyfriend has a similar point of view though, maybe he just doesn't see any real reason to get some expensive ring just as a promise thing. I do think that he is being a bit of a jerk spending all that money on himself though and not getting something nice for you, no matter what it is. If nothing else, does he at least give you nice gifts for birthdays and Christmas? Does he ever give you nice jewelry? Because if this is something he never does, then he sounds selfish. Another issue I might make is that if you want this ring for the meaning and sentimental value, but you have to go look for rings yourself and show it to him and prod him to by it, then I don't know how much meaning it would really have after all that on your part, if he isn't the one to pick it out for you and stuff.

I have to agree with some other people, the best solution right now is to talk with him about how much it would mean to you.

Also, while he may come off as selfish, really guys tend to shop for more practical items. Things like his server case and other toys have a physical use, so he sees them as something worth the money to spend on it. The whole importance of the ring issue might just go over his head because he simply doesn't understand why something that you're just going to wear on your finger would mean so much.

Think about it, when you buy a guy gifts, what kind of would he normally want? Jewelry, clothes? No, he wants something he can make use of, something that he can judge an actual value for, more so than he can for an expensive piece of metal.

I'm not saying he's some cold, heartless person. You just might have to spell some stuff out for him.

Solved.

A promise ring can be anything. It can be expensive, or it can be a class ring, a vending machine ring, or just a ring made out of string. I can understand why you'd be angry if this was an engagement ring, but there is no societal standard for a promise ring. Are you sure there was no meaning to the one he tried to give you? Put yourself in his shoes: he thought to give you a promise ring, and you wouldn't take it. If you were him, wouldn't you be hurt? And probably agree to get a more expensive ring to get your girlfriend to stop nagging you about it?

Solved.

Ahahah. Well, my boyfriend made my promise ring out of a bit of wire he found on the ground, but The One Ring would do for me.

I think that, if you're going to point him out to a ring, perhaps a cheaper one would at least suffice? my engagement ring is gorgeous, and it was only 40 bucks. (my fiance was ashamed to admit it to me, but I'm frankly glad. :3 I dun want him spending money on me.)

And if he's the selfish ass you make him out to be, ditch him! Seriously. You sound so fed up with him in all your posts. Either talk it out and try to solve it or leave. If he doesn't want to talk it out, leave him.

If you don't leave him, tough luck. Don't blame it on anything but yourself, sis. Sometimes, as sucky as it will be, you have to man up and do things you may regret. If we live in fear and worry about how sad we'll be due to a mistake, we won't live the life we want to live. And from the sounds of it, you don't want to live with this guy.

but...he came up with the idea of a promise ring on his own, and thats sweet. he could have chosen a different one, sure! but if he came up with it on his own, then there must be some meaning behind it..

I'm going to sound real jerky here, but it sounds like you don't appreciate anything. If anything, you sound selfish for demanding something that costs so much money. How do you know the ring he gave you didn't have any sentimental value? It could have meant something to him. My own boyfriend once gave me a promise ring that was his mom's old ring. It was pretty much worthless and something to throw away, but it meant the world, because it came from him.

How about you stop thinking about what YOU want so bad? It's his money, he has every right to do with it what he will. Until you are married to him or at least engaged, you have no say really. Even if it's a promise he forgot about, so what? It's not the end of the world. Promise rings are not needed. They're entirely optional.

Hmm...wow...I've gotta say this situation sounds so similar to one I was in. (Yes, "was," but don't let that freak you out.)

When I was dating my ex, I came up with the idea of promise rings...I had been wanting one for awhile, and after hearing that my cousin (male) had done it, I thought it would be a cute gift for our 2-year anniversary. Well...he was okay with it, but he never pursued it. I ended up being the one to buy the rings...I think I spent $60 on both of them, 'cause I got one for him too. And it was just one of those things where he never got the point of it all...which I was honestly okay with at the time.

The problem was that this was a pattern with my ex. I would always get him some pretty cool gifts that had been well thought out whether it was for Christmas, his birthday, etc., but he never put much thought into mine at all. In fact, I specifically remember him buying something for himself one Christmas and then giving it to me.

And the thing is...my boyfriend had a job. He would spend all of his money on video games, and would complain when I asked him to take me on a date. And I'm not talking a $50 dinner...I'm talking a trip to the movies once in a blue moon.

Now...while I was more than happy to accept what gifts I did get, later on I began to get the bigger picture of things...small details like this can, often times, be pointing to a much larger issue that may otherwise be difficult to see. In this case, it was clear that my ex did not care about me the way I cared about him, and the gifts was only one tiny sign (of many) of this.

This is not to say that the same thing is going on with you and your boyfriend, but like everybody else has said, I think it's high time that you and your significant other take another look at what's going on between you.

I know you said you're not interested in breaking up with him, and I'm not going to tell you to. If you think it can work, then go for it. Just make sure that your boyfriend is willing to put in his share of the work as well. A one-sided relationship is never a healthy thing.

And the fact that you are able to acknowledge your own weaknesses is definitely a good thing. You know that you are dependent upon him, and so that awareness is a good thing to have. However, if you do nothing about it, then there's really no point in you having that awareness. Also, as I believe you said, your boyfriend is also aware of this fact...and that can be a dangerous position for you to be in. While I'm certainly not saying that he is doing this, I am warning you...be careful because he might try to take advantage of this part of you. However, if he is a nice guy, then of course he won't. Just something to be aware of. Moving on though...as I said before...now that you're aware of your weakness, you need to work on it. And you know...becoming less dependent does not mean you are going to break up with your boyfriend. At the very least, all it will do is strengthen your relationship with him. You being less dependent will benefit both of you in the long run, especially if you stay together. And there are plenty of resources avaiable to you, I'm sure...especially if you have access to a college campus. There are many people who would be willing to help you come up with strategies that will help you to work on becoming less dependent. I would definitely start checking out what resources are available to you and see what you can get from them.

Um...long post, I know...apologies. I hope this helped some. O_O;

I know this situation was from awhile ago, but I want to add alittle something.

It could be that your soon-to-be-fiance is actually planning a big surprise for you.

I pressured my fiance into buying the engagement ring of my dreams, because he proposed months earlier and still no ring. He was the same as your boyfriend, had a job, but he spent the majority of his money on food, videogames, basically his needs.

I'll admit that he spoiled me rotten as well, but I had my eye on an engagement ring. He bought it for me because I wouldn't "shut up about it". Although I was very happy about it, he wasn't...he was actually alittle angry at me for "rushing him" as he put it. So I felt guilty of being engaged to him in the first place!

Turns out, we had one of those little couple fights that escalated into something worse a year later. The engagement ring was chucked out the window because I thought we were going to break up for good -- and I didn't want to keep it (too painful) nor give it back to him. A few hours later we made up, I went back to look for it, but someone already took it.

I begged my fiance for forgiveness, and he said it didn't matter as long as I was safe and happy (awwww....) He also said that he believed that ring was cursed somewhat, our relationship went downhill since he bought it for me, even the jewelry store where it was sold from went bankrupt! We agreed that the ring was the source of misfortune, and agreed to "start over" and this time he can buy me the ring whenever he wants.

I asked him sometime later, why wanted to wait so long to buy it...and he told me why, although it sort of ruined the surprise, I was crying because it was sweet. My fiance was planning to give me a happily ever after ending, he wanted to take me on a cruise to the Carribean and propose to me while we were going to watch the sunset together. He even admitted saving up some money for the cruise.

My heart broke -- not because it was sickeningly sweet and romantic (and totally out of character for him, as he's like your boyfriend sans the upper class family), but because I realized what I did and why he was upset. By pressuring him constantly for the engagement ring, I ruined his gift for me, and although he made me happy he didn't make me as THAT happy as he envisioned he will.

After all, getting engaged in the middle of a romantic vacation is a hell lot better than in a video store (don't ask...) Maybe your boyfriend is actually planning something for the engagement, you won't really know how he feels or is thinking unless you talked to him.

Hmm, sounds to me like you should look for a better boyfriend? Or maybe not?

really not trying to sound like a dick, but you need to break up with him pronto, there's nothing good here, your waiting on some form of symbol that he's clearly not interested in fiinding, even if he has all the resources and time to find. move on to someone better is what im trying to say, you deserve and can do better. again not trying to be a dick.