I wanted to know if this idea sounds good. I want other people's opinion besides mine and my friends.

A girl is born into a family who wishes the world were in complete darkness and chaos. When the girl learns that her destiny is to become the source of that evilo she runs away. The girl was given a cursed power that would consume her body, mind, and, soul. The girl tries to help people, but is chased off as soon as they learn who she is and what her destiny holds. She changes her last name and hides in a small isolated village. There she meets a half-demon. (demon/mortal) For a long time, however, she doesn't know that the half-demon is a half-demon(he/she*haven't choosen yet*). She thinks he/she is just a demon. Only a half-demon can help dissolve that barrier between the demons and the humans allowing them to live in peace with each other. They become good friends. (the girl and he/she) Then the girl's parents arrive in the village and start to destroy everything in order to find their daughter and release the power within her. The half-demon doesn't like lies. (he/she didn't tell her because she never asked) He/She leaves her side when she announces who she really is. The girl is devistated and the power is released. Her parents are killed immediatly in a fury of her rage and sadness. She starts to destroy everything she held dearas the shadows consume her. Right before the shadows wngulfs her entirely the half-demon is reached by the girl's mind. She says how sorry she is and how she should have never interferred with his/her life. Before the half-demon can respond the shadows finally take full control over the girl. There is a seal for the half-demon that is broken at this time. The power of Light is granted to the half-demon. The half-demon tried to break the bond the shadows have over the girl. He/She finds that is immpossible to do because without the shadow the girl would die. The half-demon manges to seal the power of the Shadows in the girl and the only way tobring it back out is from the power of Light..He/she seals up that power too. Which can only be brought out by the power of Shadow.

So What do you think? Questions? Comment? Burning Desires?

Questions:
Why does her family want the world to be in darkness and chaos? This is probably one of the most important aspects. The 'generally evil' people tend to make stories silly and unbelievable. If you give them a good reason to want this, then I think the whole story could work.

Why does the girl not want to help her family? If she grew up with them and being taught by them, what makes her think that anything is wrong with this darkness/chaos they want?

How do the townspeople find out her destiny? Is this like fullfilling a prophecy or does the girl just tell her name to everyone or what?

What kind of demon are we talking about here? Christian/Western demons or Eastern? If Eastern than this makes sense to me. If we're talking Christian/Western, why does the demon have the power of Light?

You might also consider playing with a concept other than Light and Shadow. Using these terms make it sound a bit... simple for the concept you're trying to play with.

Overall, I think the story could work! I say go for it.

Okay here are your answers in order:

Her family is kind of high class, but they want more power. When they get more power it is never enough so they think that if they destroy the world then recreate it they will have the power they have always wanted. This is a good reason to me because people are just like that. Everyone wants power in the world. We want power and money. We want everything and the girl's family is trying to achive that, but in a different way that could destory their world to no point of return.

She would listen to the towns people while she was in the shadows hiding. So their morals and ideas kinda transferred to her. She would observe everyone from affar. So she knows more about the world then what her parents said.

She didn't know that her name had a negative effect on everyone. Whenever they would ask what her name was she would tell them and their entire outlook on her would change. They would run her out of whatever village she was in at the time. At first she didn't understand because she was still little and didn't know why everyone hated her. When she found out she started using a fake last name. There is a prophecy sort of that the town knows of. They know that she holds the power over the shadows and what her parents are wanting to do to the world. They, however, don't realize that she doesn't want to do it.

Animal type demons. Fox demons, Dog demons, Snake demons, cat, wolf, ect. Just different types of demons. There is also vampires in this story I think. I have to check over my notes, but most of the time I include vampires among the demons. I don't know if it's Western or Eastern demons. I just thought it up is all. I thought it would be good to have the other character have the power over Light. Then it would go great when the girl controls the Shadows. ^///^

I know it sounds simple but I'm tring to find translations for the words, but that's not helping much. I'm tryting to find another work for Darkness/Shadow and Light. But when I'm trying to explain it, it's good that I'm using Light and Shadow because then I can keep up with myself.

I hope it does work. Sorry if I wasn't any good at answering your questions. :)

- In general it works, but I feel like there should be something deeper to it. Power is relative. So do they want more power than something/someone in particular? Do they want more power because they feel threatened by something (even though, in reality, they probably aren't all that threatened.)
I think the want of power is a good general reason. But what makes characters like this truly interesting is why they want power.
--Also, if they destroy the world, where will they be while they recreate it? Do you mean a full on apocalypse where everything is destroyed and then rebuilt via god-like creation? Or a kill mostly everything and then restart society with the family in charge?

- But what makes her so different from the rest of her family that she listens and they don't? What made her feel that she was somehow separated from her family so that she would put more value in the words of strangers than in the words of her family?

- That sounds like a fine explanation to me. =]

- Those would be more eastern. So it works for me! (When I said eastern, I meant eastern mythology. Meaning that they would be more god-like or spirit-like, rather than the inherently evil demons of generic Western culture.)

- I didn't mean to say that you needed to change them right at this moment. I'm sorry if it came off that way. But I think it's good that you're looking for different terms. =]

No they're just power hungry freaks who use their own daughter for their personal gain.
The entire world will turn to rubble and the two parents will rule. Everyone else will become their slaves.

The girl is different because she would observe the village after she accedently stubled upon it. Her parents don't really talk to her. She is denied her parents love and attention. T_T They did listen to the people. They used to live in the town until they got into a argument. The girls parents were becoming corupt.

I was already tring to find different names but like I said it's not helping much. The internet hates me. T_T

Therein lies my point though. Characters who are corrupt or evil simply because they are don't tend to make for convincing characters. Why are they power hungry freaks?

Also, if the world turning to rubble and making everyone their slaves is their plan, do they believe they will have omnipotent powers? Because unless this world is very small, ruling it with two people would be impossible. There would be too many rebellions and such.

Now, this concept would work brilliantly if you want to use it to show how skewed the parents' view of the world is. If you're going to go about it like that, I think you should keep the 'world turning to rubble and everyone being their slaves' just the way it is. It could be a great tool.

I was thinking of the parents being evil because of a war or something that took their families away. There are many outcomes that could happen if I do that. Not so sure it would work. They're wanting to control the entire world because their families died but then again everyone is different. Or I could give the mental problems like schizophrenia. (I'm sure I didn't spell that right but oh well.) I'm not quite sure how they are going to keep everyone in line. Maybe one of them can read minds and the other is able to keep them in line my altering their thoughts? That might work.

The war could work. Perhaps they want power because when their families were taken away they felt that they had none. That feeling of helplessness could have eventually turned into the insatiable need for more power. It would also make sense that they would want to rule the world. With one ruler, there would be no wars.
I like it!

If you end up going with the schizophrenia route, be careful. There would be a lot of research involved. If you're up for it, I could hunt down some of my notes for you.
Also, schizophrenia is a rare thing. The fact that both parents would have it seems odd. It's also got genetic markers, which means that your MC has a chance of getting it too.
(This may still be a theory. I'm not sure if it's been proven yet, but I believe it.)

I like the war idea better though.

The powers seem like a good idea. =]

Yeah I think the war is better, but then again the schizophrenia one could make a little bit of sense. The main character she has a voice in her head. The voice is the Shadow. It's saying stuff like you could stop it right here and now if you would just allow me to kill them. The shadow is like another person inside of her. It can sometimes escape through her anger. But then it wouldn't make sense because her parents put that power inside of her. They couldn't get the power inside of themselves because for one it would take too long for it to control them because of their age and maturity I guess. I haven't really thought that part out. But I think the parents powers would fit right in because they wouldn't really think of their daughter betraying them so they wouldn't care to read her mind..unless they are unable to do it. Maybe she has some power..or the shadow won't allow them to read her thoughts.

Well I still suggest dropping the schizophrenia all together. If there is a reason for the voice in her head other than mental illness it doesn't make much sense.

Now, you could have the village think she has schizophrenia. But that would also depend on how advanced your world is in terms of medical science.

They aren't very advance. They don't have anything like guns. It's kinda like medevil times, but maybe a bit more advanced then that. Yeah I didn't think the schizophrenia would really work. I just argue with myself too much. It's nice to talk about this kind of stuff with someone other than myself and people I know. ^^ I don't think their medicine is very advanced either. I think they would use roots and herbs.

I understand completely. I argue with myself too. It's always better to have someone actually talking back. =]

It might still be an interesting side-note that the villagers stay away from her not only because of her 'prophecy' thing, but because they think she's crazy. It would help to eliminate possibilities of anyone in the village taking pity on her. It would also help to the reader to think that these people have ligitamte reason to dislike the girl, regardless of how nice/whatever she is, rather than simple paranoia.

Then again for other people it is fun when you argue with yourself. I have argued with myself in public so I kinda have to shut up. Mainly because it is somehow always in the middle of class. I think the village would start thinking shes crazy after she starts talking to herself while she is in the village. The villagers hear this and thinks she's much of a wack job as her parents. So that could go along with the idea of schizophrenia, but then again I don't think during this time frame they know what schizophrenia is. Not only that, but they know that she has the shadow power inside her. So if they know that she is talking to Shadow then they could think that they are on the same terms when in reality they are on opposing sides. I don't really like thinking for this reason. I have too many questions. I question everything. My Creative Writing Teacher said the other the day that when you are writing don't be logical. That is the second time I have heard that. -_-,

I know a lot about schizophrenia since I'm a psychology major if you need help with research. I like the 2 main characters, the plot, and the storyline. It sounds like you have a great idea and I hope the best for your story. Nolori, i commend you for what you have said. I agree with you full-heartedly as your comments to Satsujin's story.

Questions:

Why does the girl run away from home?
Is it because her parents want to be even more power hungry for their own personal gain in taking over the world?

The girl runs away because she does not want to be forced to do her parents dirty work. And thank you!
(About Psycology)----->
Is psycology any good? What do you really do in there? I'm a Junier at the moment, but next school year I'm thinking of taking psycology for a credit, but I need to know if it's even worth my time..besides telling one of my friends what experts would say is wroung with her. She's way out there and I might have convinced her to join Menewsha. ^_^

I think this story moves too fast and it's kinda unrealistic since you don't have a lot of descriptions, describing words, etc. So yeah, just slow down a bit and add more details :)

Well I'm still in the process of creating the characters. It takes me awhile to do that because I will right down what they wear, the color. How log and the color of their eyes, personality, Fears, Likes, Dislikes, Birthday..all that stuff. That way I don't have to think it up later on and I have all the information right there when I need it. It will also say some of their history or anything else I might need including family members and their names.

OH! I get it now. So here, you just wrote a story plot. I thought you already wrote the story.
SORRY! (: & I'm looking forward to reading your story ^___^;;

It's okay. It takes awhile for me to start anything though. ^_^, I haven't even started on making the characters. I'm still thinking if the half-demon should be a boy or a girl.