My friends and some of my past bfs have a major problem
They describe me as cold and distant and that i never react to anything
I also never really liked anyone (bfs i mean - i like my friends) i was just okay with them so i went ahead and dated them
I didn't really fully know i was 'cold and distant' until one of my bfs said the whole ily thing and i was like... ok

So does that mean somethings wrong with me ?

Hard to say because none of us know you in person. You have to make the judgment yourself. Now that someone has pointed it out to you try and pay attention to how you act. Sometimes people don't realize something about themselves until someone points it out to them.

Being cold and distant can be a symptom of certain personality disorders, but it doesn't sound like you have them; other symptoms would be feeling really detached from everything or just disliking social interactions and not wanting any friends.
It sounds less like there's something wrong with you and more like you just haven't found a guy you can really connect with yet. Just because you didn't like THOSE guys doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. People can mix up 'reserved' with 'cold' quite frequently. Nothing wrong with being quiet ^^;;

I highly doubt that there is something wrong with you. I also doubt that you are as "cold and distant" as your friends say that you are. Some people are just more social and it may be that you've just never met anyone that has given you a reason to like them as more than a friend.

Have you grown up in a strict household, because I can be described the same way sometimes. In my house there isn't a lot of laughter, and most things are taken seriously so it has worn off on me, though I have learned to be a less serious person. I have also had a life that has made me grow up more quickly than most people so things that would surprise others don't normally surprise me. I have the ability to shrug things off easily. But I am NOT cold and distant. I only come off that way sometimes to people that don't truly know me as much as they think they do.

Don't take others opinions so seriously. They may have just been having a bad day and decided to take it out on you because they don't know how to deal with the situation.

Ok people are weird. its ok not "like" bf's but its not ok to date them just cuz. that could cause serious issues later.A girl in my school did that ended up being stalked by her ex.being stalked is terrifying avoid it all costs. Also Doubt you are cold and distant, every person deals with social settings differently to me it just seems you don't really put ur emotions into much which is ok. its a defense mechanism to stop urself from getting hurt. You could do this for a whole list of reasons. Most of which include you getting emotionally hurt by someone in past pretty bad.

Now this is all assumption i could be dead wrong. If you ever need to talk about anything i'm all ears just pm me.

I've been accused of the same thing. But I've looked into it. And it has to do with personality traits usually. I know cuz I've taken several personality quizzes. And they all tell me the same thing. I'm analytical or systematic. Which means I tend to be more logical and mental based. But they also say that it will be misconstrued as being cold or unfeeling by the people who's personalities are more emotion based. And it was right. I have been accused of just that many, many times. Even by my own father. Cuz the emotion based personality sees others who don't react like they do as messed up. And I have totally experienced this. Their is nothing more hurtful than to be told your messed up or cold hearted just cuz you don't react to it like they do. Sickens me really.

Not at all. These days everyone throws ily around like theyre saying hello. It's perfectly fine and normal to want to mean it when you say it. That doesn't mean your distant at all. Even if you do mean it and can't say it back, that doesn't mean your distant and definately doesn't mean your cold. It j ust means your like every other human being on the planet and has a fear of being hurt and let down. Yours just shows because you don't want to take the risk and just say it. Which is totally fine. People who throw around ily are the ones who do end up hurt the most. So don't let your friends make you feel bad about yourself and who you are. You'll say it when your damn well ready to say it right? Right. But don't be afraid to take a chance every now and again ;)

Absolutely not, that's just unrequited love on their part and it's not up to you to force yourself to fall in love, as it happens naturally... Don't feel bad about it, also, unlike in movies, it can take years to fall in love with someone... to really really fall in love with someone, so yeah, you're awesome, and don't forget it, lol... don't change yourself, ever

You were probably cold and distant to him, because like you said you didn't really like him to begin with. So obviously you weren't going to return the "I love you" back to him, at least not honestly. My advice? Don't date someone until you really want to be with them. It's only fair to you, and it's especially only fair to the guys you're dating.


I remember one of my first boyfriends telling me I was cold and not affectionate enough and later I realized it was simply because I didn't like him really. At all. Me and my current boyfriend have no problems in this department. Why? Because I love him. And before I realized I loved him, I had real interest in him. I'm not cold or unaffectionate with him at all. In fact, I wanted to say I love you to him but I was too scared and finally he said it first. I had no problem saying it back.

It's really not a huge deal. Just don't date guys "just because".

Elysium i did grow up in a strict household but now i live with my mom and i only say ily to my sisters and brothers
I've never liked anyone and recently i hurt a lot of people's feelings and they were like how would you
feel if i said that to you? And i was like "i wouldn't care" and it's true
And i often do avoid all social situations